By Priyankee Saikia,Saturday, 07 Jun 2014
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Bungee-jumping and white-water rafting? Nah! Anyone who has driven on Indian roads knows that it is the biggest adventure sport ever! It's very dangerous with too many hurdles. MensXP tells you exactly why you should say your prayers before embarking on the adventure that awaits you on Indian roads!
Humps, Bumps and Lumps
If driving on Indian roads was a game, you'll get maximum points if you can match speed with avoiding even the tiniest bump. Because, brother, there are more potholes on Indian roads than there are curves on Sunny Leone's body.
Bloody Floody
Five minutes of rain and Indian roads get transformed into a poor man's Venice. Bring your gondolas, bring your Wellingtons - it does not matter, you are going to have to float through shit-laced water.
Lawless Pedestrians
Footpaths are redundant in India. I mean, which sane person would choose narrow strips to walk through when you have the entire road to walk on? Not Indians, that's for sure!
Animal Farm
Oh it is not just humans! We have entire menageries let loose on Indian streets. Dogs, elephants, horses, cows - you name it. And bro, if you have ever driven up against these animals, you know that they OWN the roads. They have more swag sitting there rolling their eyes at you than you will ever have in your brand new Honda.
Driving on the Wrong Side
Yes, Indians follow traffic rules... only when the cops are watching. Sometimes, not even then. If the lane you have to take is right across the street, why are you going to wait till you come to a U-turn up ahead? Just drive on the other side right from the side, bro! Let the gawkers gawk.
What Indicator?
Driving in India is like a guessing game on four wheels. No one in front of you is going to tell you of their intentions to suddenly turn - because Indians do not believe in using the indicator.
Road Rage
Indians are really sweet people.
Till you put them in a car. Stuck in a traffic jam. For two hours. And then watch each of them turn into the national animal. Tigers, yes.
Horn Overuse
When you are in India, the car or bike horn is a musical instrument - and the traffic jam is your orchestra. Let the inner musician break loose and honk, honk, honk away. And who cares about no-honking zones? That's when you honk for the fun of it, you little rebel!
2-Hour-Long Jams
Indians are free-spirited people - and you cannot tame free spirits to follow mundane rules like traffic rules. Bitch please, we make our own way, we forge ahead - and if we get stuck, well then - boohoo, we resort to #7 and #8. You have not really lived till you have lived a tenth of your life in Indian traffic jams.
Inefficient Traffic Cops
The irony of our country is that the areas most prone to traffic jams are usually the ones least supervised by the police. And Bollywood is not lying when it depicts that the police always arrive late. Even during jams, the traffic cops arrive well after everyone's close to losing their minds.
street-Hawkers And Beggars
Driving in India is an adventure sport specifically because of the number of hurdles you meet on your way. And street hawkers are another one of them. From roses to rumaal, from books to balloons - you can get all your shopping done while driving around on an Indian street! If you're lucky, you will even come across a few beggars and transsexuals - and you'd be smart to cough up rather than be cursed!
Bullock Carts Next To Ferraris
The past and the present, the rural and the urban fuse together on Indian roads with so much harmony that it is very natural for a Ferrari or a Mercedes to whoosh by slower modes of transports - for instance, bullock carts!
Photo: BCCL (Main Image)
Jodha Akbar
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