I truly apologise for the delay my dear readers, here is chapter 15, do enjoy.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Coldplay : Fix You
Chapter 15
Sleep evaded them both that night, yet for very different reasons. Astha knew her heart was in trouble, she was falling more and more in love with him with every second that went by and she failed to have control over it. The subtle changes which she had observed in him gave her hope, hope that made her mentally curse herself every time she gave in to the fantasy of having a normal loving relationship with him, but she wanted it so badly and she could do nothing to stop herself from doing so. His concern and care, the attention he gave her, his reaction to Abhi...his actions with her, all made her believe that despite everything he had ever said and done, that he did in fact love her and that too very deeply, why else would he behave this way. The mere thought of it all however pained her, could she really allow herself to fall down this slippery slope with him again, did she have much a choice and even if she did, would she have the courage to stop herself? Part of her dared to dream for more and another just wanted to savour each and every moment that she would spend with him. She glimpsed slightly over at him, her heart skipped a beat at the image, she felt as if it took all the courage left in her to love him again, leaving her none to reject what she felt.
Shlok tossed and turned all night, he tried making as little noise as possible; he knew she needed to rest and so he wanted to avoid disturbing her, but his mind and heart were uneasy. The shadows on the ceiling seemed to take shape of his inner most thoughts, his inner most turmoil. He recalled the days he had spent without her, each minute of which seemed utterly intolerable, as if someone had been punishing him for some grave deed... "Perhaps someone was" he thought to himself. He felt sick as his mind wandered back to the early days of their marriage, his ego mixed with the bitterness of his past had gotten the better of him and as a result, she got the worse of him. Oh how it pained to think of the many ways he had hurt her. Yet she continued to be a good wife to him...why? She had become such an integral part of his life without him even knowing it, a life that seemed empty without her presence. Her presence...he looked over at her sleeping form, she radiated with an elusive exquisiteness even in her sleep, an untouchable beauty of sorts, an untouchable beauty that was his to touch, one he could have lost. The thought jerked him into consciousness. Living a few days without her seemed an impossible feat, how would he have survived losing her and what was it that made him feel this way. Was he in l...no, he couldn't allow himself to feel that way again...again? But he never felt this way before, the way she affected, irritated him, consumed every thought of his very being...these feelings he had never felt before. "Am I in lo..." He sat down on the sofa running his hands through his hair. He was sweating as if he had awaken from some long torturous nightmare, but wasn't his life just that though? He wished he could wake up from the darkness that had pervaded in his life and openly accept the light that she offered. But he was not one to wish however, rather he had always one to act and for now, he would have to cast his emotional turmoil aside and deal with the one thing that stood within his control, he had to figure out who was after her and he had to know if it could have really been Aditi that were behind it all.
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Astha sat on the terrace, the chill of the night cut into her cold skin, she was however numb to it all for nothing could compare to the piercing ache that overwhelmed her heart. The tears had dried onto her beautiful face but her body seemed to be flooded with the pain that emanated and overflowed from within. She clutched her knees closer to her chest as if to give herself comfort, who else could she expect it from, nobody could understand what she felt for she herself was lost to her own treacherous emotions. Why did it have to be this way with them, always 2 steps forward and 10 steps back she thought. She had truly convinced herself that there was hope, that within his heart she had finally secured her place, a place that belonged only to her, dejectedly, she now felt that she was mistaken. Her hopes and dreams were shattered with just one look into his eyes, one look into eyes that had told her all that she needed to know. He had once upon a time given his heart to another and sadly for her, it appeared as if he had never gotten it back. She felt selfish for feeling this way; here she was feeling sorry for herself while her love lay broken and devastated inside. Her love,' he was her love but she wasn't his. No matter how hard she tried to reason with herself, it seemed impossible to emerge from distressed state of emotion, she wanted to comfort him and hold him more than she already did, but she couldn't help wanting also to be held and comforted. She had watched him break down, she held him in her arms as he realised he had lost his once upon a time love, until realisation dawned her, she comforted her love as he grieved his, he had lost his love and she felt as if she was losing her own.
Astha fell to the ground with Shlok in her arms, the harsh truth of reality had taken all her strength her away and she could no longer support him. Varad ran to their side, he helped her, they made Shlok sit on the sofa and asked her to do the same but she couldn't, she was frozen at the spot, she felt an agonising chill run through her body as she took in his state, she couldn't see him this way. Swati was dead, the effect of which on her husband, made her feel as if she was watching her love slip away from her. She could bear his grief no more; she rushed beside him holding on to his arms, resting her head against him. She didn't know what to say to comfort him. He was lost in a world of his own, pain filled tears flowed from agonised eyes; he had no control over any of it today. The grip of her tiny hands against his arms alerted him to her presence, he couldn't face her, but simply let his hand sit on hers, and the gesture was all she needed. They both looked up as they overheard Varad and Niranjan filling the police in on all that had happened.
It was early in the morning when Astha confronted Aditi, she knew that she had to do something to stop her before she had a chance to really harm one of them. She went prepared and had taped everything that Aditi said. She dragged her to the family room where everyone was gathered. She was shocked to find Shlok standing there with a bottle of poison in his hands, a bottle he had found amongst Aditi's things. She knew her gig was up. Astha played the tape for everyone that was present, shock and disgust filled the room. Shlok grabbed her arm and made her stand behind him, he wanted his wife nowhere near what was a very obviously troubled and psychotic woman. "Why?" he scowled loudly at her, "Why did you do all this? What has Astha done to you?" his voice was leaking with rage and fury.
"Her only mistake was loving you!" Was her reply, words of vengeance that held so much more meaning than she would ever understand. She revealed it all to them in what appeared some type of psychotic break. The reveal left some astounded, some shocked, some horrified and others, heartbroken and shattered.
Aditi was Swati's best friend. Swati was dead. And Aditi blamed Shlok for it all. And for that, she wanted to take his love away... "Astha."
Aditi had been Swati's best friend, they grew up like sisters, Swati was someone Aditi looked up to since she had no one else to fill that maternal void. A void that had reopened when Swati left her. She had fallen off the grid when things hadn't worked out between her and Shlok. She got married and cut contact with everyone from her old life, including Aditi. Swati met with an unfortunate accident while hiking with her husband, an accident that claimed her life, Aditi had found out after months of searching tirelessly for her, after which, she started planning her revenge.
Shock and awe was written all over everyone's faces, but Astha took account of only one, Shlok's. She held onto his arm as the words resonated into comprehension...Swati was no more. She felt Shlok's body lose all its composure, the anger in his eyes now replaced with grief, he stood rooted to the spot, no words were uttered, no gestures made, only tears that hit the ground as he looked ahead at nothing in particular, that was his only reaction and she knew, her husband was heartbroken.
"Wait!" She exclaimed as the officers gathered Aditi to take her away. She let go of Shlok's arm and ran to where they were standing. Astha cupped Aditi's face in the palm of her hands and looked into her eyes as she spoke, "I'm sorry for all that you've suffered. You once called me your sister, I considered that to be true, you need help...let me help you." Tears flowed from her eyes as she spoke, regardless of all that she had done, Astha's heart went out to the girl who's only fault was losing a best friend, a best friend that abandoned her without reason. Aditi cried as she shook her head in response. "She needs help Dada..." Astha pleaded with Varad "Please, can't we help her? Why should another life be lost from all this?" Varad adhered and made all the arrangements for Aditi to get the treatment she needed. Shlok all the while observed his wife as she pleaded for this woman who not more than a few hours ago, wanted to take her happiness away...his happiness.
Shlok retreated to his study where he asked to be left alone and she understood that he needed time. Everyone else scattered while she...she stood there, a lone lost figure in the middle of the empty room, empty and lost, words that had become truly reminiscent of what she felt inside.
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Tears re-emerged taking free reign of her beautiful face, the events of the day somehow appeared more painful as she recollected it all. She looked out into the open sky, a lone star peeked out at her through the cloudy barrier. She knew what she had to do, for as much as she wanted to be held in his arms, her entire being ached just to hold him in hers, to comfort him, to let him know, that regardless of what he felt, that she was his, that he had her. If she could absorb all his pain she would and she was more than willing to hold him until she felt satisfied that in some minute way, she had indeed accomplished that. The realisation gave her all the clarity that she needed. Her broken heart would have to be forgotten in order to mend his. She looked up at the cloudy sky, closing her eyes as if to the shed the last of her tears, only one image consumed her thoughts... "I love you Shlok" she proclaimed into the silent air surrounding her. She was all the while, unaware, of the intense eyes that had locked her in its sight, the entire time.
"I love you Shlok!" the words resounded in the chilly air.
She looked up at the cloudy sky,
A lone star in her sight
All others remained hidden,
For it had been a cloudy night
Clouds like the darkness that had lingered,
Over their love for so long,
Could he let go, her heart wondered
Her own pain felt so wrong
Burning desire to hold him tight
A love so pure, a love so selfless,
A soul that longed with all its might
Hidden stars behind the darkness,
Fighting to lend their glow
Intense emotions, fighting their sadness
For his love, only he would know.
Author: Lily
Cricket
