Ashlok FF- 'Out of the Darkness'Chapter 16 Updated pg 64 - Page 42

Originally posted by: NallyAshlokFan

😳😳Thank you love. I do apologise for making all of you that have read so far, so emotional.😆I promise to make it worth your while in the end.😉

Originally posted by: NallyAshlokFan

Goodness, thank you so much for this very sweet comment. Im truly happy that you enjoyed it, I love that my work is able to evoke such emotion in people but I also apologise for making your heart ache.😆😳

Broken dreams, broken hearts, a blemished past for sure,

She held my heart, she threw it back, she wanted it no more.

Walls of anger, heart of darkness, my love I'd no longer give,

Broken heart, broken dreams, how was I to live?

But then you came, a light of sorts, beaming with such life,

I broke your dreams; I stole your heart, yet I called you wife.'

You took my hand, you held on tight, insisting that I see,

What walls of darkness, and hearts of anger, would never let me be.

Built up dreams, loving heart, I took it all away,

But you took my hand, you held on tight, for my love you'd always stay.

Radiant beauty, angelic laughter, a soul so passionately pure,

By your touch, my subtle saviour, in darkness I live no more.

Author: Lily

Shlok sat in his study for how long he couldn't remember. He felt as if his entire body had gone numb, yet he felt every agonising emotion tearing him apart from the inside out. He felt suffocated and strangled by all the emotions running through him, wishing he could flip a switch and turn them all off. Swati had died, all these years he had spent hating her, changing his entire life because she walked away from him, blaming her, yet she was no more and a proper goodbye would never be in the cards for them. He hoped the burning sensation provided by the scotch would overpower the turmoil engulfing his heart, to his disappointment, it provided him no relief. The remorse he felt troubled him deeply however, for despite learning of Swati's demise, it hadn't appeared to be the sole cause of his torment. All these years, he had buried himself in hate and anguish because of her, closing off his heart, allowing his arrogance to roam free, an arrogance that had caused him to hurt something so pure, so innocent, so precious... The glass went smashing into the wall across the room as realisation dawned on him. Not only was he mourning his love that was lost, but more than that, he was mourning the love he had shunned away... "Astha!" The name felt like a saving breath to a suffocating man. "Her only mistake was loving you..." Aditi's words echoed in his head, how right she had been. All she had ever done was love him and all he had ever done was tear her dreams away from her. He shattered her and broke her spirit in every way he knew how and why? Because somebody else had broken his heart, how was that fair? How could he have been so stupid. He found himself mourning the broken beauty that was his wife, who despite everything he had put her through, stood by him, stood by his family, took great pains to always look out for them yet he was too blinded by his past to see what was right in front of him. For a love that never was, he punished the love that could have been, the harsh truth of reality cut through his heart like a thousand knives twisting in his open wounds. "What have I done?"

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She came out of the bathroom after having a long warm shower, only to find Shlok sitting on the sofa, lost in thought, his eyes were moist and his body appeared to be tense. She knew that he was still hurting and she knew that she would have to do whatever it took to get him through whatever it was that he was feeling. She walked up to where he sat and kneeled before him, her eyes now at the level of his. The sensation of warm hands against his rugged cheeks brought him back to reality. "Where are you lost?" Her voice was soft and sweet, her own eyes filling with moisture at the sight before her. "Too many places to count" smiling, he replied looking straight into her eyes, the effect of which left her shaken, his penetrating gaze always had the effect on her. He beamed at her discomfort.

"I've hurt you a lot Astha...haven't I?"

"Shlok" the question shocked her, this was the last thing she had expected to hear from him.

"You won't answer me, I know, but I don't need a reply to know that I've hurt you. I've put you through a lot and for reasons that had nothing to do with you." His husky voice became broken, the pain reflected in his eyes tore into her heart, she couldn't remember for how long she had hoped that he would one day acknowledge the many ways in which he had wronged her, had hurt her, had broken her heart and betrayed her love, and now that she was getting just that, all she wanted, was for him to stop, his self-inflicted torment proving too much for her to bear. "Shlok please, you don't..." his grip on her shoulder interrupted her, he brought her to sit next to him, she sat facing him as he looked ahead, he was unable to face her, as the forgiveness mirrored in her eyes made him detest himself and his actions all the more.

"I do have to say it. You know Astha, when Swati walked out of my life, I blamed everything and everyone, I turned off my emotions, arrogance took its place, I didn't ever want to feel what she made me feel again, vulnerable. I had offered her the world, all I wanted in return was that she would accept and become a part of mine, but she couldn't do that." Astha reached out to his hand that was fiddling with his wedding ring as he spoke, tears flowing from her eyes for the pain and loneliness that he must have gone through. Shlok looked down at her tiny hands over his, "I punished you for what she did" he tilted his head to look at her, "I punished you for being everything that I had wanted her to be. Despite having my love she walked away while you stayed after knowing you could never have it." The words slammed against her heart as if she had been shaken out of her body, her eyes welled up questioning him and her hands left him of its own volition, it pained her to register what he perhaps meant. "Or so I told you" Shlok took instant note of her reaction, the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her further by having her misunderstand him. He turned his body to face her, she took account of every minuscule detail, the remorse in his eyes, the rigidity in his shoulders, his hands the went in search of hers that had abandoned his... "I'm sorry Astha...I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am..."

He pulled himself away to make her look at him, "Why? I need to say this"

"But I don't need to hear it right now" she was hoping her response would be enough...

"Why?" he hated himself for receiving her forgiveness so easily...

"Because I know all this...you don't..."

"How? I've never done anything but hurt you and bring you more pain...how do you know..."

"Because I know you" Astha cupped his face in the tiny palms of her hands, "I know you" she engulfed herself in his warmth once more, "please stop tormenting yourself" her tears soaked through his shirt "just let me be there for you" her hands gripped onto him tighter, "at least for tonight...let it be."

Shlok was completely overwhelmed by her response, she always put him first, he snuggled her against his body, resting his cheek against her hair...their embrace lasted for what seemed like a lifetime to both, both silent, both enjoying the comfort lent my the warmth of the other and both secretly wanting to never let go.

Astha was the first to break the hug, the candid manner in which she held on to him broke into her awareness making her self-conscious of their position. "Let's go to bed, it's been a long day." She got up and tried to walk away when he grabbed on to her hand... "Sit with me for a bit?" it was a subtle plea and one that she couldn't refuse, but then again, she never refused him much anyway, especially now, she wanted to be there for him. Shlok tugged at her hand making her fall onto his lap... "Shlok" he didn't let her finish before he uttered...

"Thank you"

"For?" she had stop fidgeting at the words.

"You always put me first even when I don't deserve it."

"That is what a wife does right?" she smiled animatedly at him not wanting his mood to turn damper again, he seemed to be in better spirits and she wanted to keep in that way. She again started squirming to get out of his grip when he held her tighter at the waist.

"Shlok" Astha gently tapped his chest not failing to notice the sudden change in his eyes, he looked at her as if he were captivated by some spell, his gaze was fixed and his eyes were piercing, it made her uneasy and affected her breathing, she felt her heart skip whenever he looked at her this way.

"Shlok I..." Astha tried wriggling herself out of his hold but that only seemed to fuel the fire now growing inside him, he tightened his hold on her waist pulling her closer against him. "Is that the only reason Astha?" he spoke in a low mesmerising tone, the effect of which played a hypnotic game with her senses. Astha gripped onto the front of his shirt, trying unsuccessfully to keep her eyes hidden away from his now teasing, predator like orbs. He rubbed his nose against her cheek; her grip on him grew tighter at the sensation, her grip only invigorated him to continue. Shlok trailed his nose against the skin along her neck, resting at its nape, bruising her skin as he teased her with his touch. "Shlok please..."her plea was barely audible, her words said one thing but her body craved the opposite. "Please what?" he spoke against her skin, making sure his hot breathe fused with the heat emanating from her body, his lips, slightly caressing her skin as they moved. Astha felt herself getting lost in him, his scent fusing with her senses to create an ocean of desirous turmoil within her. Every inch of her being ached for his touch and despite her best efforts, despite all the emotions of the day, she couldn't seem to resist wanting to feel him all the more, as if, all the emotions of the day, only intensified her need for him.

"Shlok please...we..." it was an agonised ambiguous plea but for what, she wasn't certain...

"Tell me to stop and I will" he spoke against her nape as his hands trailed along the exposed skin off her back. How delectably she smelt, it would take every ounce of control within him to tear himself away from her, control he desperately hoped he wouldn't have to use.

"Shlok..." her hand made its way around his neck, entangling itself into his hair, pulling his head closer into her, Shlok needed no words, her actions spoke more loudly than any words would ever do justice but only deceive, she yearned for his touch just as much as he did to give it. His body leaned forward against hers making her lean back against his arms, his mouth slightly opened against her heated skin, slowly, passionately, he kissed the spot, repeating the act, his tongue gently tasting her skin, his teeth barely grazing her delicate surface, the deed, sending an electrified jolt through both their bodies, opening a door, neither was certain, they'd be able to close.