Chasing Dreams- Thd7 CHP42, PG 130, Link to THD8 & CHP43, PG143 - Page 78

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

It will be later today evening or maybe even night. Sorry.

Originally posted by: nishu_shorna

Will it b too unfair if I ask for the next update already... CD has actually become a part of my life... Nd I'm literally failing to sleep thinking what's waiting for ArShi ahead...

Chapter 40

Khushi parked her bike just outside her home and saw a cab parked nearby. She was wondering who had turned up to visit them early in the morning. She rang the bell and her father opened the door. She walked in to find Devyani smiling at her fondly. She folded her hands and greeted her. And beside her sat the man who had been invading her thoughts for every single second of the last three months.

Arnav!' She called out his name with surprise and and longing. She hadn't seen him in these three months, but seeing him today in flesh and bones made her realise how gravely she had missed his physical presence in his life.

Arnav stood up and called her name. Khushi!' His eyes were infinitely tender and soft as his famished eyes took their fill of her face and eyes. He had purposely tried to keep away from thinking about her, but when he saw Khushi after three months Arnav realised that he had been a fool who had been lying to himself, the intensity with which he missed her those three months came back to him.

Arnav moved his hands forward to hold Khushi's. But Khushi was mindful of the audience looking at them and took a couple of steps back to put some distance between them. Arnav got the clue and sat down as he continued to look at Khushi. Khushi started fiddling with the hem of her stole as her heart was beating erratically.

Khushi, Arnav and Devyani ji came home a while ago. They came here to apologise to us for everything that has happened and also to ask if we would be happy to give our blessings for a marriage between Arnav and you.' Sashi spoke to Khushi.

Khushi was taken aback by the sudden development and looked Arnav in his eyes asking him if whatever her father said was true. There were countless number of times when she imagined Arnav coming to Lucknow to apologise and then convince her that he had changed his mind. But at time passed and Arnav hadn't reached out to her, her hopes for a happy ending were dashed. So this was a big shock to her system.

I have told them that we will leave it to you to decide whether this is something you want.' Sashi said, he knew his daughter was still hurting. He didn't want to force a decision on her although he believed that a marriage between Arnav and Khushi would be the best solution for everyone concerned.

Of course she will say yes Sashi. Khushi and Arnav love each other, right Khushi?' Her mother had put her in a spot.

Khushi looked at Nani and then Arnav, her fast moving eyeballs reflected her confusion and nervousness.

I need time Amma.' She whispered, scared to offend her mother.

Ofcourse Bitiya, after everything that has happened, it only makes sense for you to take time to arrive at a decision.' Devyani said as she understood Khushi's predicament. If you dont mind I'd like to speak to you, alone.'

And so do I, if thats's okay with you Sir.' Arnav sought Sashi's permission.

Before Khushi could have a word with either Devyani or Arnav her mother dragged her to one of the rooms.

Amma what is happening, how did this people turn up here?'

I dont know.' Garima lied. All I know is that I want to see my daughter married and settled. Devyani ji and even Arnav assured us that they are keen for this marriage to happen. So as a mother I'm requesting you Khusi,' She touched Khushi's cheeks, Please don't shoot down the proposal, please Khushi. Just listen to everything they have to say with an open mind. This is a question of your future and your life and in certain ways ours too.'

""""""-

Khushi was waiting for Arnav in the terrace. She just had a heart to heart discussion with Devyani. Devyani told her that she had found out the entire truth and offered her condolences for Khushi's miscarried pregnancy. She then reprimanded Khushi for not approaching her when things had gotten complicated with Arnav. Arnav is my grandson, but I would have supported you, because he was wrong.'

When Khushi had asked her why the decision about the marriage proposal was made, Devyani replied, A lot has happened in last few months. You have suffered the most in the process. Lets put an end to this Khushi. You love him, he loves you, you have both crossed certain hurdles in your relationship. This feels like the logical next step.' Devyani left it open-ended. When Khushi looked confused Devyani added, I know this is going to be a difficult decision given how Arnav had expressed his concerns about marriage in the past. But I can assure you that he will not step back from his responsibilities anymore.'

Nani has this decision been forced on him or did he want this marriage out of his own will?'

Arnav has been missing you a lot and was starting to wonder if he should change his mind. He has been discussing marriage with Anjali recently. But then I found out the entire truth and we all believed that a wedding will be for the best. We made this decision together.' Devyani painted a picture of partial truth.

Khushi felt that her doubts were being reaffirmed. Based on what Nani said, this decision wasn't entirely Arnav's.

When Arnav walked up to the terrace he saw Khushi looking at nowhere in particular with stress and confusion clouding her eyes. He took a moment to compose himself and ready himself for he had to do.

He called out her name, Khushi...'

Khushi looked at him requesting him silently to make this easy on her.

Before she could say anything, he reached her and held her in a tight embrace. He just let the feeling of them sink in, as he breathed in her scent and revealed in her touch and warmth. There were many things Arnav experienced at that moment, happiness, peace, comfort, love, longing. But what he experienced most was a sense of feeling complete, a sense of being finally at home.

I have missed you Khushi.' He whispered and then proceeded to place kisses all over her face. Khushi had closed her eyes and her fists trying to sop herself from reciprocating his show of affection. Her heart and body were screaming at her to forget everything and just experience the moment to the fullest. They wanted Khushi to touch him and in return drown in his touch. But she had learned to steer her heart's resolve in the past few months so she held herself back.

Please Khushi,' he begged her asking her to hold him back, his body and his soul yearning for her touch, her acceptance.

No Arnav, please...' She pleaded with him.

Arnav realised that things had changed between them vastly, he acknowledged the change and loosened his hold. Khushi took a steps back to put some distance between them. This was a serious discussion, she didn't want intimacy and his presence to cloud her judgement.

Khushi turned around to lean against the low terrace railing as she looked at the passing traffic which was busy at this time of the day.

Why are you here Arnav?'

You know why Khushi. I want us to be married.' He replied coolly, looking her straight in the eyes

Remember Arnav when I left I said that I didn't want a marriage with you if thats not what you really wanted. So why did come here?'

Khushi people change, I have changed my mind.'

Did you do it on your own or under your family's pressure?' Her eyes clashed with eyes asking him to disprove her.

He tried to hold Khushi's hands that she had placed on the railing. Khushi tried to move her hands away from his hold. Please Khushi.' She let her hands stay within his.

I love you Khushi. The last three months have been very difficult for me, just as Im sure it was for you. Gradually I started wondering if the pain, hurt and separation was worth it. I felt like I was suffering every second without you. Going back to a home without your presence was daunting.'

Khushi listened to him intently, every word he said was weakening her resolve as Arnav's feelings mirrored her experience in the last three months.

Then I asked myself what was more important, you or my beliefs? I will be honest with you. I still dont feel entirely convinced that two people need a marriage to stay with each other.'

Khushi's eyes reflected her disappointment.

But if thats the only way we can be together then I want it. I love you Khushi, I have missed you, if marriage can bring you back to my life, I want it.'

There he had done it, he had opened his heart and placed his card in front of her. It was her call now.

If Arnav had turned up and said that he now believed in marriage, Khushi would have brushed it away as a lie to placate her. She was pleased that he had spoken the truth and explained his reasons in a straightforward manner. But that didn't make things any easier on her.

Should she believe him and take a leap of faith and assume that eventually things would work out?

Or would his concerns and reservations come back at a later date and create a havoc in her life?

Was it a risk worth taking.?'

What do you think Khushi?' Arnav asked her when Khushi had remained silent.

I'm not convinced Arnav. We just have too much history; most of which ended badly. I don't know if this relationship had enough merit to last a lifetime.'

What can I do to convince you. Tell me Khushi. If its about your pregnancy, let me reiterate that I wont offer any justification. I was thoughtless, harsh and unreasonable. I'm very very sorry for the way I behaved with you and your parents.'

When he saw Khushi looking at him intently, like she was figuring him out, he added, But we all make mistakes. Men like me don't have natural paternal instincts. The news was a shock to my system. So please overlook that as an action of a man who had lost his marbles overcome by shock.'

Before Arnav could say anymore Khushi replied, 'I need time Arnav. I need to speak to my parents. I have hurt them enough already. I want to make a decision not just for myself but also for them.'

I understand that. I plan on staying in Lucknow.'

She looked at him surprised. I'm not leaving unless you say yes.'

That wont be needed Arnav. You will have to promise me that whatever decision I make, you will respect and honour it.' Arnav agreed begrudgingly. He didn't expect Khushi to jump in joy at the prospect of a marriage, so her reactions were completely justified and expected.

""""""""""

After speaking to Khushi Arnav spoke to Sashi privately. Sashi had the same reservations as Khushi so he wanted to make sure that Arnav's decision was an informed one and not something he had rushed into.

Arnav I had a great amount of respect for the man you were. But just like my daughter I felt terribly let down that day at your flat. However I realise and acknowledge that my daughter was an equal part of that relationship. Given a choice I wouldn't consider you worthy of my daughter. But then too much has happened and Khushi obviously still loves you. She misses you and I hate to see her suffer like this. Let me make it very clear that Khushi will alone decide what she wants to do next. If she agrees to this wedding and if you hurt her again, you wont get the respect and dignity that is being offered to you and your family at the moment.'

I understand that sir. I wont give you a reason to behave that way with me.'

""""""

Once Arnav and Devyani had left the Gupta family decided to discuss the proposal.

What do you think Khushi? Sashi asked.

I dont know Bauji, this is so sudden.' Khushi looked very confused and exhausted. She wished she could be her father's litle girl again where everything in her life had been planned and taken care of by her parents. The world of adult relationships was very challenging.

Garima wasn't enjoying how this was dragging along. She just wanted the marriage to be agreed and a date set at the earliest before anymore damage was done. 'What is there to think Sashi? Arnav wants to be married to Khushi. His grandmother requested us personally to consider and approve this alliance. What more do we want?'

Garima let Khushi decide.' Sashi understood his wife's eagerness. Truth to be told even he felt that it was the right thing to do. He loved his daughter but too much had happened between Arnav and her that could not be undone. It would be best for them to be married.

Enough Sashi. I dont want this charade anymore. When Khushi agreed to pursue a relationship with him, she should agree to the wedding too.' Garima said. The more we delay this wedding, the more people will speak, the more it will affect Khushi's future and her life.'

When Khushi had still not spoken anything, Garima added, Khushi you had a relationship with him, you became pregnant and had a miscarriage. Do you think your future husband, if it is someone other than Arnav, wont find out about this?'

Amma please, give me some time. You are putting too much pressure on me.' Khushi begged her mother.

What is your concern Khushi?' Sashi asked.

Bauji I'm worried about what if his earlier concerns about marriage make a return? What if he decides one day that he doesn't want to be married to me anymore? I'm finding it difficult to trust his ability to remain committed to a life long marriage, given his nature.'

Khushi's Grandmother spoke up after listening to her. Khushi Devyani ji seems like a honourable woman, she has given us her word. I think we should trust her.'

What will help you make a decision? Sashi asked when he saw that Khushi wasn't convinced by what her grandmother had said.

I dont know Bauji, i want to believe him, but something is stopping me from doing so.'

Garima started walking away from the room angrily, in response.

Khushi and Sashi followed her. Garima went to her room and took a bag out and started putting her clothes into the bag.

Amma what are you doing?

It looks like neither me nor my opinions are welcome in this house where your future is concerned. If your father and you know what is best, why should I be here?' Garima's frustration had reached a boiling point and she was starting to behave unreasonably.

Garima you are over reacting.' Sashi tried to reason with his wife. Why couldn't she see that he was trying to guide Khushi through the process as a friend instead of piling pressure on her.

Our daughter's life and future is at stake here. Why cant you see that Sashi? This isn't a movie where she can be with one man and then find someone else who will accept her with her past. You are killing your daughter's future with your own two hands.' She snapped at Sashi.

Amma dont fight with bauji for me.' This was the last thing her family needed.

Khushi I thought you cared. I thought you understood why I was upset with you.' Garima had softened considerably for a few moments.

Do as you please, refuse him. But I wont be here to see my daughter spoiling her future anymore.'

Amma why cant you understand my concerns. What if he walks away some day in the future, what if this marriage falls apart?'

Then at least you can blame your parents for the decision instead of blaming yourself.'

Khushi You gave him a chance when he promised you nothing. And now when he is willing to make a promise, you are waking away.'

I think your mother has a point, You should give him another chance.' Sashi offered his advice just at the right point of time in the debate.

Khushi closed her eyes to stop the tears from falling.

Fine I will speak to him again and then make a decision. But you will have to respect whatever my decision is.'

Garima seemed a little pleased that she could at least influence her daughter to speak to Arnav again. Then Khushi turned to her father and said, Bauji can I meet him somewhere outside of our homes, if that's okay with you?'

Sure.' Sashi agreed.

""""""""-

Thanks for agreeing to meet me in such short notice.' Khushi met with Arnav the same evening. Arnav asked her to meet him at the Restaurant within the hotel he was staying. When Khushi walked in she saw that the setting was quite romantic. She didn't want to give Arnav any sort of a wrong message.

Once she settled into her seat, Arnav started asking her about what drink she would like. Khushi announced suddenly, I hope you realise this isn't a date. I suggested meeting up because I would like to discuss the marriage proposal.' Khushi tried to sound formal which in turn made Arnav chuckle.

Fine, I promise to keep my hands to myself. Although given my raging hormones it is going to be difficult.' He put his hands up. Khushi couldn't stop herself from smiling in return.

How I have missed your smile.' Arnav added with a soft voice. Im sorry, before you left I didn't give you enough reasons to smile or to be happy.' He then closed his eyes, open them and looked straight into Khushi's eyes and said, I'm sorry Khushi for everything.'

Khushi knew Arnav's apology was heartfelt but how could she explain that her wounds were still raw and it would take a while to overcome them, that what he said were difficult to forget and forgive.

After placing orders for the food Khushi initiated the discussion.

Arnav after the miscarriage and my subsequent decision to leave you, I had never thought this day would come. Please tell me why you have changed your mind. Make me believe.' Khushi wanted Arnav to open up to her and tell her why and how he had changed his mind. She wanted him to assure her that he didn't make the decision under any pressure and that he intended to commit himself to a life long relationship with her, out of his own will.

Khushi I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to say that I realised that marriage is the best thing ever. I'm not going to say that I have no apprehensions or fears. I'm not going to say that marriage is something I believe in.'

But what Inwill tell you is that I will give it my all, I hope to work on my reservations with your support, that I will love you, cherish you and live with you forever. You...' He pointed at her, You are what I want and is thats only possible through this marriage, then I will give it my all.'

Did Nani put pressure on you to make this decision?'

Nani made me think. She made me decide. But she didn't make the decision for me. I would have refused if I didn't want to do this. You know how stubborn I can be.'

Is there a catch. is the wedding proposal conditional?'

None except that I would really prefer a simple court wedding with a reception if you agree to it.'

Arnav, what if your doubts and concerns about marriage come back someday?'

I hope that doesn't happen, I hope I will be able to face and resolve them with your support.' He then proceeded to tell Khushi about the things that made him uncomfortable with marriage. He told her that he believed that a person should only be bound to another by love, not because of duty and responsibility. He also felt that many people get married for love, but eventually end up staying with each other only because they are married. He didn't want that for himself or for Khushi.

When Khushi heard about Arnav's reservations she felt much better. He had raised some valid points, points she would help address. Arnav as times goes by, love takes a back seat because it becomes intrinsic to a couple's life. Love, attraction is replaced by comfort, trust and respect. That is truly a sign of a successful marriage.' She explained.

Their food arrived and Khushi and Arnav continued to speak about relationships, life and marriages in general. Khushi was suprised at how easily Arnav had opened up to her on such a sensitive topic. He had been honest, upfront about why he had changed his mind. He didn't promise her a life of roses of marital bliss and prosperity, he promised her a life of love, respect and support. Isn't that what marriage meant in true sense of the word?

Arnav called a cab to drop Khushi home. Inside the cab, he asked her, So what do you think? Should I stay back for a few more days or take the return flight tomorrow morning?'

I will need to speak to my parents Arnav. I have done many things without consulting with them So from here on whatever I do will be after speaking with them.'

I understand. I will wait for your answer. If you still want to spend some more time before making up your mind, let me know.' Arnav said.

Once her home arrived Arnav walked Khushi home. Before ringing the bell, he held her palms and placed a kiss on her right cheek. I will await your answer. I love you Khushi. You gave us a chance even in the worst circumstances, please don't give up on us now. Please.' He then took a step back and rang the bell. He exchanged pleasantries with the Gupta's and took their leave shortly.

Once Arav had left Garima and Sashi surrounded Khushi.

What have you decided?'

Did you share your concerns with him?'

What did he say?'

Khushi looked at her eager parent's face which was brimming with excitement.

Bauji, Amma...' Khushi shared her thoughts with her parents.

"""""""""

An hour later Arnav's phone beeped. It was a message from Khushi.

You might want to reschedule you ticket to a later date. Its a yes.'

xxx

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMmqh4Ut_Uo[/YOUTUBE]

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