Astha went with him as she seemed to have no other choice. She noted the black Audi with interest. It wasn't his usual silver BMW. Almost the minute they sat at the back, Suresh joined them in the front. He sat next to the chauffeur before the car started smoothly.
The windows went up and Astha felt completely trapped inside the car. Shlok leaned forward and murmured something to Suresh, who nodded immediately. Astha was too tired to bother about what was said. She leaned back with a sigh and looked away from Shlok. Her heart was rejoicing the fact that she was sitting very next to her Shlok. But her mind constantly reminded her of the pain she was going through for the past few days.
Shlok too seemed to be content to keep quiet for the moment. He was throwing glances at her now and then, while checking his emails and messages constantly in his blackberry. Another painful reminder of that banter they had shared via their BB. Astha had left that back and taken her simple mobile while she had packed.
Shlok had fumed when he saw her BB kept neatly on her bed. He had controlled his anger with great difficulty. Now he was waiting to speak to her. He couldn't say and didn't want to say anything in front of his staff. Hence the pseudo silence in the car. Very soon they reached his office. The car came to a smooth halt and Shlok almost immediately got out.
He came around and helped Astha out. Astha was surprised to see his office. "Why are we here?" She frowned and was a little uneasy at the memories in his cabin. That was the first time she spoke to him. It all had begun here, at this wretched building. She waited for him to answer.
"Inside." His tone suggested they do all the talking inside. Shlok really didn't give her time to protest or react. He again took her hands and led her directly to the top most floor. This was one floor above his office space. And this floor was obviously for his personal use.
The huge door led to a small room with sparse furniture. This led to a room with a huge dining table. And now food was already being laid out for both of them. Astha turned around to see Suresh had already vanished. How does he always manage to do that? Shlok started moving forward. He pulled out a chair for her.
"Sit." Astha felt chided, like a child. She was tempted to make a face at him. Astha sat down and waited for him to be seated.
"Eat." He picked up his fork and spoon and proceeded to do just that. Astha was furious at his high handedness.
"Will you stop ordering me like I am some slave of yours?" How dare you..." Her furious tone started trailing off, when he put his cutlery down, and looked at her with narrowed eyes.
"You will eat when I say so. Just look at you. In the last two days I don't know how many pounds you would have dropped. Either you must know to take care of yourself or you should allow me to do it. Since you don't seem to do a good job of it, I am forced to take over."
"Well. it's me, my body. I will choose to eat when I want and what I want." Astha didn't want him to win. Not this time. She wanted him to realize she wasn't always going to dance to his tune.
"We will see. Now are you going to eat? And do you want me to feed you?" He raised his brow in query. Astha glared at him and finally started eating. Shlok was pleased that she listened to him, albeit reluctantly. After they finished the meal in relative silence, Shlok got up. He took Astha along with him to the outer room.
Astha couldn't sit. Now what? She was suddenly nervous. Something had changed between them now. It was no longer the contract, or the live in relationship they wanted. Now both of them were at the opposite ends of a pole. Astha was unsure what would happen next. But before she could say something, Shlok spoke first.
"I want to ask you something. Please think about it deeply and then tell me what you feel about it." His voice was surprisingly soft, a little hesitant even. Astha's curiosity was piqued. What could this man possibly want from her? She didn't have anything other than her body for him. And she had already clearly told him she wasn't interested in giving that to him. Now what?
Astha waited silently for him to continue. He silently beckoned her to sit next to him, on the couch. Astha sat on the edge with obvious nervousness. "Astha, I have a proposition for you." He held her hand as he spoke. What? Another proposition? Oh no. She shook her head at him.
"Shlok, we have been through all this. I can never be what you want." She sounded so worried at his words.
"But you are what I want. The only one whom I seem to want." He was sounding almost desperate. Astha was really astonished at his confession. Was this the Shlok, the commitment phobic Shlok? She wanted to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming or whether this was happening for real.
"But I can never...not without..." She stopped, not knowing how to get the words out. Astha bit her lower lip and looked away from Shlok to avoid his stare.
"You know how I feel when you do that. Don't" His hand left hers to release her lower lip from her teeth. Astha's breathing almost stopped. She could deny him all she wanted from her mouth, but the moment he touched her, her body craved him like a thirst man craving water. Her eyes turned wide and luminous.
Shlok then continued. "You said you love me. Is it still true?" The young, lost boy was back. Oh God, how will she answer this now? Astha swallowed and finally whispered a "Yes."
"Then I want us to try to have a very honest relationship. I swear I don't want to treat you with disrespect or anything. I want to get engaged to you. To see if I can have a normal life, a normal relationship with a person. I am willing to try that for you."
Astha's tears again started. She felt so touched that he was willing to consider this for her. But one part of her was still worried. What if he got bored with her? What if he wasn't satisfied with this normal life?
Almost immediately her inner voice scolded her for thinking like this. He had taken the first step forward, just as she wanted. So wasn't it her turn to support him now? To bring him out of whatever misery he is been through?
"Why are doing this now?" But she needed to know a few things before she decided. This time she didn't want to be hasty.
"Because I want you. I want that same woman I saw in those photographs in the exhibition. That carefree, young woman with an infectious smile. To think that I have been responsible for changing you like this..." His expression said it all. Her heart twisted at his self infected guilt.
"But Shlok, you knew I am the way I am and you are what you are. You aren't responsible for anything." She wanted to make that clear.
He didn't reply to that. But his next words threw her off even more. "I..I can't think of anyone else with you Astha. It just kills me to even imagine someone else with you, having you, having what's mine." The control freak was back. Astha was floored at his reasons. In his own twisted way he was trying to say he cared. He didn't want her troubled, nor could he tolerate anyone else with her. Well, didn't she feel the same way about him and any other woman?
"And the rules?"
"No. No rules, nothing. It is just going to be you and me Astha. We will take this relationship one day at a time. But I would like to definitely get engaged to you. And you know why?" He asked her, waiting for her response. She shook her head.
"To show you I don't consider you to be a damn hooker. I could have killed you the other day when you spoke so low about yourself. Don't ever do that again. Not even by mistake. I may not be responsible for my actions then." His body now clearly emanated the anger he had hidden the other day.
Astha just hugged him. She said "yes" to his proposition and placed her head on his chest. Shlok tipped her face and looked into her eyes.
"Move in with me again. You're room is just as you left. I haven't had the heart to move a thing." His thumb slowly rubbed her lower lip back and forth. Astha closed her eyes against his caress, and nodded slowly.
She did get up from his chest and looked at him directly. "But before I move back in I want to speak to you regarding a few things. I assume now I do have the right to interfere in your personal life as your fiance?"
Shlok's eyes turned a little bleak. He nodded and ran his hand through his hair. "Yes you can. This time I will tell you what ever you want to know." He stood up and reached the water bottle. Placing the bottle after drinking the water, he turned towards her with his hands in his pocket.
"Yes Astha, ask me whatever you want to."
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