Pushkar's Diary #1

I was never much of a people person - ever since I came to know of my father's torrid love affair with my Maa - si or should I say Mad-shii. The man who was my father - had no respect for my mom, Meera, or me. He was abusive verbally and physically to the three of us and left us after making sure we were the laughing stock of society. I was barely 12 then - all the boys in school and in the street bullied me, taunted me, and laughed at me. They made nasty comments about my sister and mother. I started to stay away from people.

Don't get me wrong. I understand how social interactions function and I know the value of communication. In fact, I have perfected the art of charming any person - if - I want to. It is a skill I pride myself in. But it is also true - that I have no close friends. My father's behavior made it difficult for me to seek and enjoy the company of others.

One thing I soon realized - that in order to be recognized - one needed power. Money had that power. So, I took on the business that my Nana had left for my mother - that is - the part of the business that my father and Mad-shii did not or should I say could not take away. I prevented them from stealing my mother's inheritance. My mom was so broken - she could not think clearly for months. I took it upon myself to learn the business and run it. I was determined to out do my father - and before I graduated from high school I had expanded my mom's business and bought out my father.

The bullies in school taught me another lesson - and that is to instill fear. Fear is real emotional power over another. People fear - fear itself. I know - because it tortured me - in fact it still does. The only way I can overcome it is by torturing another so that they are fearful of me.

Ravan - that is how Vidhita - thought me to be. Ravan was not all cruelty - he was kind too. She has not seen that side of me.