How To Be A Villain :: VOLUME 8

The sky was clear, the flowers were blooming and everyone seemed happy regardless of their ignorance towards the misery their host withheld. It was just another commemoration ceremony to celebrate the defeat of Grindelwald.

*Sigh* If only people knew, thought Dumbledore, his once friend twice nemesis was causing enough havoc still as noobmaster69.

Suddenly the library door opened with a force and a woman walked in. Not just any woman but-

"Hey Dumbledore! What's rolling?" Wonder Woman asked, in a rather high pitched voice.

Dumbledore gave a tired look. "Nothing is rolling. Whatever in the world that means!"

"It's the new for what's up." Wonder Woman explained.

"Then why didn't you use simple words dear lady?"

"Woman!" She corrected.

"My bad. If you want something Diana, it'll have to for some other time.”

“Why are you going to cry in isolation for your friend Dumbledee?”

*probably join in a game with him*

"Dumbledore if you may please."

"Yes. Now tell me Dumbee.." this time he didn't even bother, "How can you be so wise all the time? Don't you get bored?"

"I beg your pardon, bored of what?"

"Bored of being nice all the time!" Wonder Woman exclaimed while occupying the seat opposite to him. "I know that I'm bored. I am bored of being someone who does right all the time, someone who is expected to follow each and every rule!"

"But rules are meant for a reason. They are there to maintain the discipline.." Dumbledore wasn't able to finish the sentence when Wonder Woman raised her hands.

"Save the chit chat Bubbledore. I know this conversation is a dead end. You can agree to disagree. Peace out." Saying this Wonder Woman stood up, ready to leave when a voice interrupted.

“Trying to make the old man join forces with your league of cosplay Diana?” Captain America glided in all his gleaming glory, a sillage of American national anthem in his wake.

“Seeing how your troop of arctic monkeys need a bit of training, I’ll pass.”

Dumbledore: Children, err, I mean friends, act your age.

Captain America: I for once seem to agree with Diana here though. Good is boring.

"Really? I feel the same!" Wonder Woman answered excited. "Finally a person who understands me. Dumble was surely a bore here.”

"Dumbledore's face panned as the other two shook hands.

"So tell me what did you want to do or even better what do you want to do?" Wonder Woman continued as Captain America mused over.

Captain America: Nothing much. Small things you know. Like getting away with a parking ticket. Painting moustache on billboards. Maybe sneaking up to a few Nazis and scream YO MAMA.

"Wow, terrible taste as a baddie as well." Wonder Woman gave a disappointed look. "You need better friends!"

Captain America: Well then let's listen to yours

"I want to do something more evil and dangerous. Like the villains I fight. If they can be as bad as they want to, live a life without any principles or rules, why can't I? Why should Villains have all the fun!"

"You want to do something evil? Like what? Steal? Kill?" Captain America asked, afraid of hearing her answer.

"Of course not! Don't be silly. I'm not that corrupted. I am a hero after all.I just want to punish the bad guys without thinking of the consequences. Do whatever I want. Use my power to chew out every scumbag out there. But I can't. I need to follow protocols." She explained and he gave her an understanding nod.

"But this man is above us.." she pointed to Dumbledore who sat there listening to them carefully. "Let's go Rogers, somewhere where we wouldn't bother him."

"Wait!" Dumbledore called out before one of them could leave. "It's not that I'm a saint. There are times I wished I could have done some.. you know.. stuffs."

"What stuff?" Captain America asked intrigued.

"Bad stuff. Like mischievous stuff. Ones that wouldn't suit my image as the Hogwarts Headmaster."

"Speak more. We are all ears." Wonder woman pulled a chair and sat back.

"Like there were times when some students of mine really tested every inch of my patience and I just wanted to use my magic to like.." he took a long breath before continuing "..use my magic to turn them into small mice or maybe cats."

"That's evil." Wonder woman smirked.

"Just for a day!" Dumbledore defended himself.

Wonder Woman: See, you're not all boring. You still have some fun left in you.

"My point wasn't that Diana. My point is, that everyone has a weak point in their life where they want to break a rule or two. To take an easier way out. To have some fun even at the cost of hurting someone's sentiments. But, the ones who surpass those temptations are the real heroes. Being an EVIL is easy but being a hero isn't and it's because of this very reason we are heroes. ”

Captain America: How can you be the judge of that?

Dumbledore: Because I know that being a villain comes with a greater cost.

Wonder Woman: Well. okay maybe we can ask one of the great villains to enlighten us then. Teach us their traits and we’ll see if being a villain is fun or not.

Captain America: So we contact them? But how?

"I have an idea." Dumbledore suggested. "How about we audition the villains. The worst of the worst. The one who wins, we will interrogate them and get some perspective."

"I like the idea." Both Wonder woman and Captain America agreed. "Let's summon the worst of the worst out there. The best villains! Let's hear their side too. How bad can it be, being a villain. How difficult can it be?"

"So let me get this straight," Wonder Woman sat next to Dumbledore, looking at him with eyes wide and seeing right through his half moon glasses, "you send owls with letters to all the villains? And It's that simple?"

"Being me has some advantages." The nonchalance was apparent.

"And," Captain America pruned in awe with the enchanted ceiling, " we are holding this here at Hogwarts."

Dumbledore: Hogwarts will welcome you Steve, good or bad, we don't judge upon your ability but your choices. Shall we start then? Send in the first villain please.

·◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆·

*Enters a figure draped in a black cloak.*

“And you my dear,” inquired Dumbledore, looking at the entrant’s dark overalls, with a bit of trepidation, dementors might have gotten a wisp for the auditions? “Would be?”

Revealing herself, the person began, “Lady Macbeth.” With an air of obvious pride.

“And I have no traits such as that of a woman. Succumbing to the frivolity of meekness isn't my trait.”

Wonder Woman: I’d take her as a warrior in my land. That is one soldier. *she just needs a personality makeover*

Lady Macbeth: ......

“Ehm, It says here,“ Captain America interjected, pointing to her CV trying to cut the tension which seemed to thicken like a curd, “that you are a skilled manipulator, an able set designer and also run a soap factory?”

"Oh dear," Dumbledore began rather admiringly, "I have those from The Tears of Enemies line, the texture is very satisfying."

“Thank you. I am planning for a perfumery but the ingredients still don't smell like blood.”

Captain America: You seem to be providing a lot of jobs to the unemployed if I may say.

Lady Macbeth: Unintentionally.

Wonder Woman: What would you say your choice of weapon is?

Lady Macbeth: Only the thickest of nights I desire, for my actions are so dense even the darkness of night couldn't hide them.

Dumbledore: That’s depressing. Do you want to tell us anything about your most devious deed as a villain?

Lady Macbeth: I planned the murder of King Duncan, while he was a guest at my house.

Wonder Woman: Planned but not killed?

Lady Macbeth: My husband did.

Captain America: But you didn’t, right?

Exasperated Lady Macbeth continued, “Correct! But he wouldn’t have done it hadn’t I pushed him to the deed. It was I who instigated his actions.”

Wonder Woman: Men are fickle like a second's hand...masculinity is linked to violence...he probably already had the fire of ambition, you just pulled away his sheets of valor.

Lady Macbeth:

Captain America: But that’s political not evil...You know like governments plan these things all time and we don’t call them evil. Mainly a nice chapter in history books under national security.

"It could have been political. I wanted the throne for my husband and to be called a Queen was my utmost desire. Had he not resembled my father so much..." Lady Macbeth trailed off.

“My dear child,” Dumbledore’s kind but sharp eyes studied Lady Macbeth, “planning and acting are two poles and mostly we don’t know which is which. But our choices make up for our lack of knowledge. You wouldn't touch the man because he reminded you of your father, that is compassion. And a villain with compassion, is a saint in marvel movies."

Captain America:

“But my thoughts,” protested Lady Macbeth, “are my own making.”

“Mark of intelligence,” said Wonder Woman clearly bemused by Lady Macbeth, “Dumbledore keeps thinking of turning students into animals, but he doesn’t and it seems to make ALL the difference.”

Lady Macbeth: It turned my husband into a murdering monster.

Captain America: He had his choice. Come to think of it, wouldn't he be a better candidate?

Lady Macbeth: You think I’m not evil?

"Well a bit mad possibly but where's the fun in being normal?" A voice echoed.

Dumbledore: I can see you Loki, unfortunately I'm blessed with a certain age that knows to look beyond appearances.

Wonder Woman: Did he leave?

Dumbledore: Probably...

Wonder Woman & Captain America:

Wonder Woman: Well honey to err is human but to presume is stupid human , you simple think you are a villain but look inside yourself.

Dumbledore: I do like the soaps you make. All spots gone, clear skin.

Lady Macbeth: But my actions-

Wonder Woman: Or lack off. Sorry. Next.

Wonder Woman: She thoughts she's evil.

Dumbledore: I know ! Misguided youth!

“Hello I’m the Winter Soldier”

Captain America: Bucky?!!! What are you-

Winter Soldier: Who the hell is Bucky?

Wonder Woman: This isn't an audition for certified tortured individuals Bucky.

Tell your boyfriend to leave will you Steve.

“I got an OWL.” Winter Soldier began excitingly.

“It’s probably your metal arm.” Dumbledore rose from his seat advancing towards the Winter Soldier, patting him on the arm. “The owl might have found it attractive. Guards would you please be kind enough to escort Sergeant Barnes to the banquet.”

Tiny wide eyed creatures toppling over each other came to pull the Winter Soldier out of the room.

·◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆·

*Enters a statue figure,with suave*

Captain America: Well hellu

Wonder Woman: Can we not have your hormones on the table?

The entrant was amused by the display of nerves. “Shall we begin then,” he asked authoritatively.

Dumbledore: …

Wonder Woman: …

Captain America: …

“I'm doctor Hannibal Lecter,” taking a seat he began, “ a psychiatrist by profession.”

Dumbledore: And a cannibal by diet, as it says here in your resume.

Hannibal Lecter: By choice. An acquired taste if you may ask.

Wonder Woman: I would like to! Err, I mean this is your criminality? You eat people?

Captain America: Sometimes, even I wish I could just….*wild gestures*

Hannibal Lecter: Spurs of anger, agitation in posture, do you by chance suffer from resisted conflict of thoughts?

Captain America: How do you know?!

Dumbledore: As we presume this is your audition Dr. Lecter, elaborate on your life as a villain.

Hannibal Lecter: I kill people for no reason and I have at times...been unreasonable.

Captain America: You’ll have to be truthful if you want your claim as the greatest villain to be accepted.

Looking for the first time, slightly agitated, Dr. Lecter continued. “I have been unfaithful to my friends.”

Wonder Woman: By eating them mistakenly?

Hannibal Lecter: By being unapproachable.

Wonder Woman: You've been institutionalized on many occasions , tell me Dr. Lecter what made you choose the lifestyle. From your concern towards those friends, it doesn't seem like food is an issue.

"A bit of childhood trauma." Hannibal started, in a voice as clear as the plotholes in Endgame. "A few men killed my sister when we were young and-"

Dumbledore: Well I do know about your history Hannibal. And it makes me feel terrible that children as young as you were would be tormented to the extents of hell.

Hannibal Lecter: If only the torment was a punishment. That act was something one cant put in words.

Captain America: So you're being a cannibal for copping with the Imprints of the trauma?

Hannibal Lecter: Like I said I chose to be this person and I have no remorse.

Dumbledore: Yet you kill only those with less regards towards other humans and who lack good virtues. The list doesn't seem to have a single person who was killed by you for, in your words “recreation.”

Wonder Woman: Tell me Dr. Lecter doesn’t it seems like you are trying to do a hero’s job, with a small glitch of lack of morals?

Taken aback by the declaration, Hannibal Lecter made no comments.

Captain America: Probably you don’t have an appetite for your own redemption?

Dumbledore: Hannibal, you may be a villain and your actions are horrendous, I’d expect a bit less grotesque next time, but other than that, the evil lies in those memories of your childhood. Not within you.

Wonder Woman: I'm sorry Doctor, maybe you can enjoy the feast Dumbledore has arranged for us all?

With a little joviality and calculative look, Hannibal finally asked, "What’s on the menu?"

All three judges: NEXT

“I was right here but you all chose to ignore my presence.”

A young man rose from a dark corner of the room and walked over to sit on the empty chair.

With an air of amusement and shock, Dumbledore acknowledged him, “Or maybe we noticed you but ignored your need to be recognized as a villain...Shubh?”

Shubh: A wise man like you Dumbledore would say things like that. But a fool will accept them to be true.

“Are we invading your tea party guys?” Wonder Woman asked Dumbledore, clearly confused with the exchange, while Captain America observing Shubh nodded in agreement with her. "Coz we can leave and let you both have your moment."

Dumbledore: Shubh has recently gained a name for himself in the world of villains. Although for a wise man, like everyone else, I too am unaware if this young gentleman is the real trouble maker or just a mask for the genius.

Captain America: So what exactly do you do Shubh?

Shubh turned his attention towards Cap, interested in the piercing look he was getting from him. "I try to bring about change. We need a new world order and to make it happen I have taken upon myself to be the ASUR and compel KALI to come down and fight me."

Captain America: I understood the reference.

Wonder Woman: By doing what? rap songs?

·◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆·

“I would like to interrupt. But guess what I already have.” Jim Moriarty spoke from under the judges table.

Wonder Woman: Moriarty! WHAT EVEN DUMBLEDUH? Are you making them invisible for fun sake?!

Moriarty: Hey guys! Did you miss me? And this...Is he the new cool kid in Hogwarts? Are you gonna be manipulated by BigD here to do his dirty works bro? Let me give you some tips on dressing the part-

Dumbledore: GUARDS

Moriarty: And BigD thinks they’ll come because who would have left clothes all around for the elves.

But by now Dumbledore had pulled out his wand and Moriarty knew it was better to leave now than be turned into a ferret.

·◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆·

Shubh: I can help you get rid of him too if you want.

Dumbledore: He is very much needed Shubh. So are you. But not your ways to combat ignorance.

Captain America: I know how you've come about being the vigilante you think you are Shubh. The abusive father, the psychological harm. We can’t acknowledge you as a villain when the disparity in your words and actions is clearer than the battle of winterfell.

Shubh: It was I who stole the light bulbs.

Wonder Woman: Now he’s talking about real crimes.

Dumbledore: I’d like you to stay Shubh and enjoy the Castle. As for your evilness, lets discuss it over a pot of mariju-

Wonder Woman: Excuse me

Dumbledore: Marinated Butterbeer. NEXT.

*Enters a man dressed in clothes apt for a meeting at Hogwarts*

Dumbledore looking extremely pleased with his entrant smiled. “Oh how nice of you to make it! I heard a lot about your status as the shrewdest of all😃."

Wonder Woman: As much as I am disgusted by your actions, I must admit that was the best planned attack. I’m adding you to my Ludo group sir.👍🏼

Captain America: Alright. I know this isn’t the place for it but neither one of is gonna comment on WHAT HE IS WEARING😲🤔?!!!

Giving a crafty smile the villain began, “Dressed in flags sitting with an Amazonian in the office of a wizard whose fashion sense is more dramatic than the Covid 19 virus, my dear boy, do you even have a right to ask that?😎”

Captain America:

Dumbledore: Steve here hasn't been around much to know about your tales, Shakuni.

Wonder Woman: But what we didn’t know was ,as it's stated in your CV, your enemies were all of the Kuru? We thought it was a family feud over the dice. All would mean, your nephews too?

Shakuni: I don’t like talking about the horrors of my suffering....

Captain America: *OH well we lose another to circumstances.*

"....My father, brothers, all of my family died because of the Kuru clan and my beloved sister was imprisoned in the fear of darkness, even when load shedding wasn’t an issue. In those moments of reflection I pledged to avenge them all."

·◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆·

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Wonder Woman: For the LAST TIME😡

"Forgive my laughter. I have a condition."

Captain America: While we are at it , would you mind Joker and give me back my shield😵?

Wonder Woman: He has your shield😲?!

Captain America: It was the shield or Coulson’s Captain America Cards🤔.

Dumbledore: But Coulson’s alive Steve.

Captain America: I know. I stole them from him.👍🏼

Joker: But I took the shield by proper means. We played a game, he lost. If you’re good at something, never do it for free.

Dumbledore: We’ve discussed this Joker, when you wrote to me about not getting an OWL. We have failed YOU. Calling you evil is appalling and wrong.

Joker: Yes but madness Dumbledore, it needs to be recognized. And there doesn't seems to be many avenues."

Dumbledore: Yes but this will not be yours. You are to leave now and enjoy the many secrets of the Castle. I'm sure the students would be pleased to have their idol on the grounds😊."

*Loud noises emerge from the outisde*

Joker: F.I.N.E. Although is it just me or is it getting crazier out there👏?

·◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆··◆·

Dumbledore: Sorry for the interruption Shakuni, you were saying?

Shakuni: I like that guy, he has great ideas for games and rules. And so do I.

I chose my intelligence over grief and rolled the dice.

Captain America: But for the love of your sister and the death of your family.🥺

Shakuni: An intensive I was provided or else my mind would have created havoc elsewhere.

Dumbledore: You have acknowledged your folly and your actions arise from deep emotions. We cannot I suppose yet again call our villain , a villain after all.

Shakuni: But I caused the end of men and shamed a woman.👎🏼😔

Wonder Woman: For which you're not even half to blame. Her husband for all we know is a bigger example of Dvapara than you are my friend. 😒

Shakuni: You ARE learned too! Care to send that Ludo request sooner?

Captain America: Lets wrap this before he plans a game of taking away my captain America cards.

All the judges: Next.

Slowly awakening from the experience they have witnessed,the judges announced the end of the auditions. A strange atmosphere filled the whole room, a stunning blending of shock and realization.

“Phewww!” Sighed the judges looking at each other, startled.

The heroes couldn’t hide their face under the table. In fact, they won’t be able to put on their mask and make the world go down at their knees. The actual truth was revealed and their minds got confused with many thoughts disturbing their ego.

Was the essence of being atypical hero or villain attacked by a stain of reality ?

Where have they gone wrong ?

“Well ! We are not going to cry over it or are we going to cry, seriously ?” Said Captain America, trying to make some sense out of the experience he just had and thinking about Thanos...didn’t he simply want to bColored Texte a farmer? What a mess!!!

"We have yet not found our villain yet. Something is missing," Wonder Woman mused over. "That kind of NEGATIVE PASSION you see, which we are looking for doesn’t seem to radiate from them all. We have auditioned the great and scariest villains but we are here, sitting like inert puppys, looking at each other, mumbling scattered words and not being able to finish our audition. Is that normal?"

Dumbledore seem to rise from his deep thoughts and began, “what is normal here are these villains we met. Although I must admit, I wasn't hoping for such insight into their morality, but now that I have seen it, I can’t help but judge my own actions."

Wonder Woman: “And I thought being a villain would be fun. For all the fun I had it seems like a tougher job.”

Captain America: I'm done, I need to run and get some worthiness in me.

*Interrupting their self assessment a figure entered uninvited*

That Who Should BE Named: What a ruckus those bunch of loonies are making outside. I wouldn’t pass them in dreams let alone share a space!

Captain America: And you are?

That Who Should BE Named: I’m a Hypocrite. Can’t say nice to meet you all…but after them, it is at least nice meeting you.

Dumbledore gave a mammoth sigh and slumped in his chair, “Here we are.” He pronounced.

Wonder Woman: For all the pains we took.

Dumbledore: And owls I now have to catch.

“So is it fun being you?” Captain America asked, a bit of remorse.

That Who Should BE Named: Well what else would be more fun than having all the fun yourself at the expense of others. Disguise your bad intentions into good ones and in your good ones, add a little spice. Simple and easy equation right?

All Three Judges: PERFECT.

Well.. now that you've had the pleasure of seeing our villains fall for their human side, one can only wonder how they viewed themselves with the stereotypical spectacles on.

Want a glimpse of behind the scenes of our villains audition preps?

Well well well.. its your lucky day.

We are a pretty generous bunch.

Some more than others, of course.

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.

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"Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?" The Joker's haunting voice could be heard across the dressing room where the greatest of the greatest villains had set up their mini prep stations.

"What's going to happen to you now, Kaalia?" Gabbar said, interrupting Joker's audition attempt.

Preparing for the audition in front your opponents?

Really, Joker?

But hey, who are we to judge? *You know what we did there!*

Anyway, back to the scene (rather behind the scene..)

"I'm Joker, not Kaalia and all I have are negative thoughts." Joker replied, still maintaining himself preparing for the audition for the Greatest villain.

"Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under't." The voice came from behind Gabbar, where Lady Macbeth had set up quite an establishment for such a temporary situation.

Lady Macbeth was known for her vicious personality and today was no less. She knew exactly how to gather an audience without making it look too obvious.

"Mogambo khush hua" Mogambo responded to her lovingly. "My darling when we are done here, wold you like to have dinner with near the alligator pond?"

Lady Macbeth, knowing not to waste her breath unnecessarily, walked off.

"So you eat your food rare to medium or maybe steamed?" Thanos questioned Hannibal, noting down the instructions.

"Depends on the mood" Hannibal's chilling, quiet tone seemed to resound like he was alone there. Until of course, Thanos realized that Hannibal was practicing his lines on him.

"That almost sounded convincing but you really do have to work a little bit harder." Gabbar came forward towards where Hannibal was sat on his chair. "I'll show you a real evil move. Watch and learn, buddy!"

At this point, Hannibal just looked like he was ready to bolt out of the building but do you really think Gabbar would let him out of his sight. He would probably chop his hands off if he attempted to even more his fingers. Oop just kidding.. Not not really actually..

"I don't think that hairstyle made any difference Gollum, you still look pretty." Maleficent said with such seriousness Gollum seemed to take offense. "Lets get away from her precious before she corrupts us with more compliments."

"Moriarty! You're late." Joker entered the discussion.

"Never. Everyone is simply early." Came the swift reply and it started.

"Is it always for you mortals to have such frivolous mannerisms?" Hela pronounced with distaste, "with no real ambitions? All you people want is glory but not the hard work."

"YO! fancy clothes!!!" someone screamed out loud.

"AGAIN! Who is this worthless creature making me angry? I'm going to burn him to dust!" Hela stormed around trying to find the culprit.

And it continued...

The battle of the villains.

Who shall win?

It is the question of the hour, so we'll leave the decision in your capable hands, folks.

Do you think there's a Villain out there, bad enough to be regarded as pure evil?

Who can ruin our That Who Should BE Named?

Or is there no one worse than the Hypocrite?

Do you think there is a grey side to everyone or is it just simply black and white?

LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!

Until next time, remember these words of Roger Ebert on villains:

❝Nothing that these monsters do is "evil" in any conventional moral sense, because they lack any moral sense. They are hard-wired to do what they do. They have no choice. In the areas where they do have choice, they try to do the right thing.❞

credits -

18shabbo | xbeyondwordsx

MsChanadlerBong |DreamyButterfly |proteeti

Thread looks so beautiful

Interesting topic, we seldom see works as villain as their main subject be it in print or digital. Though more projects are coming up along this line but the comic relief here is plus point.

I can somewhere relate with Lady Macbeth and Shakuni, because in my opinion they were never truly villains. According to me people involved were more at fault than them, when ever I used to voice out this thoughts of mine in past I generally used to receive long lectures on not seeing the evil😆

I am glad that you guys addressed this, that not all the villains are necessarily evil more than half are grey.

Welcome back Crazy creatives 🤗.. we missed you all

Well done, guys!! Loving the thread ❤️

For me - I’m a very black and white person so this really makes me think about the grey areas in between. Its really easy to cloud your judgements when you see someone doing something that you perceive as wrong, but we never really stop to think about their thought process behind it. Not every evil act can be justified but this shows that we need to change our mindset to be more open to differences between people.

Something from the CC after so long

Welcome back guys

Welcome back CCs ❤️

Ahaha love the thread, was fun to read !

Great work!