Two guys are sitting at a bar. After a bunch of drinks over several hours, one guy hiccups, drops his head down to his chest, pushes himself away from the bar, and proceeds to hurl all over himself.
Wiping his mouth off on his shirtsleeve, he says, "Man, I gotta go home. I'm already two hours late, and now I've thrown up all over myself. My wife is gonna kill me.
The second guy turns to the first and says, "Naw she won't. Listen, you got twenty bucks?"
The first says, "Yeah, why?"
The second drunk says, "Take the twenty and put it in your front pocket. When you get home and your wife asks what happened, you tell her some guy threw up on your shirt and he gave you twenty bucks for the dry cleaning. I do it all the time."
The first guy says, "Great idea! Let's have another round", and the two continued to drink for the next couple of hours.
Eventually they head home. Sure enough, the first guy's wife is waiting up for him. As he walks through the door, she takes a look at him and says, "Look at you! You're pathetic!! You're five hours late, drunk as a skunk, and you've got dried puke all over the front of you! What have you got to say for yourself ?!?"
He says, "Wait honey, listen for a second. This drunken guy threw up on me and gave me twenty bucks to get my shirt dry cleaned, I swear. Check my front pocket."
She reaches in and pulls out the money. She says, "Wait there's 40 bucks in here!"
He says, "Oh yeah, he crapped in my pants too!!" -------------------- Faithful Wife | Santa is talking to Banta about married life.
"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."
Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.
"While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."
Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"
"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.
"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window. Your wife was kissing the man. Then he took off his shirt and then.... they turned off the light."
"Then what happened?" says Santa.
"I don't know. It was too dark to see."
"Damn, you see what I mean? There's always that doubt." ---------------------- Good Sport | When Tim answered his phone, he heard a woman on the other end say, "Hi, Tim. This is Lucy speaking. Remember we met about four months ago?"
"Lucy?" Tim replied. "About four months ago?"
"Yes, that's right," Lucy said. "It was at John's apartment. After the party, you drove me home. On the way, we parked and got in the back seat. You told me I was a good sport.""Oh, I remember!" Tim exclaimed. "Lucy! How are you?"
"I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself," Lucy screeched.
"Hey, you really ARE a good sport!" Tim retorted. Enjoy!!!!!!!!
"Oh, I remember!" Tim exclaimed. "Lucy! How are you?"
"I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself," Lucy screeched.
"Hey, you really ARE a good sport!" Tim retorted.
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Seher Hone Ko Hai
CID
