A/n: I didn't expect to be posting the second chapter so soon but the words were written so why not? I only hope its atleast good enough for a comment...
Chapter 2: What Is Between Them
Madhu woke to the sunlight filtering into the room through the balcony windows... which were open. Madhu distinctly remembered closing them last night; how were they open now? Shielding her eyes from the sudden brightness, Madhu got out of bed and noticed that the other side was made. Strange; RK never made his bed. Not in the entire time she'd known him had he ever done so. Confusion marred the serenity that had overtaken her mind these days. Others thought it was numbness, especially RK; and she didn't bother to correct him. It gave her no pleasure to see him beat himself up over her, not at all but she was loathe to do anything about it either. Everybody in the family had noticed; even Sikky. But they thought it was a sign of things becoming normal between her and RK. Which wouldn't exactly be untrue; in one sense. She no longer tried to run away from him; but neither did she throw herself at his mercy any longer; she'd done that in the past. That, more than RK's betrayal was what had gone wrong. She'd simply given up the reigns of her life to him and when he'd thrown them back at her, she hadn't known what to do and how to gain control of them. Never again would she commit that error again, she'd sworn to herself.
And that, Madhu concluded with relief at finally having her heart and mind reconciled, was why she was content to live in that house; as RK's Biwi. Only by name; neither law, nor custom bound them. Nothing other than his determination to keep her with him and her reluctance to leave him did. But RK seemed to think otherwise; that she was unchanged; that she loathed him just as she had three months ago.
If he can't understand me any longer, it certainly isn't my fault; she had sternly told her heart that wanted nothing more than to ease his guilt and pain. She was here, by his wish... no, blackmail. He had plucked the choice out of her hands; given her no option but to relent. And that made her
sick; that she'd had to give up what bit of self esteem and dignity she'd managed to salvage from the first breakdown.
But that was all in the past and the present was what she had to face now, Madhu told herself for the nth time since then as she scanned the room for any sign of her husband-by-name.
The room was totally empty and what was weird was that there seemed to be nothing to indicate that he'd woken up or got ready and left. Today was his sunday off and RK hadn't told her about any plans. That was another thing; he'd taken to taking her out often, too often for her liking. She'd very much liked the comfortable privacy that his being a superstar had entitled him to demand. Now, they went out too often and RK made sure they were always surrounded; always around people and far too much in the spotlight. At first she'd thought it was to show her off as his trophy; but the practice continued well past the time he should have stopped, making her confused.
For all that, there was one place he'd refused to take her; the chawl or anywhere near it. If ever she missed her family, he'd bring them to the mansion to stay but never did he let her go visit. When she'd questioned him, he'd turned silent; a rarity for him. His eyes cast away from her, he'd told her that he couldn't bear to have her visit the chawl because it felt to him as if she would be lost to him if she were there. She'd tried to argue, plead, request; nothing had helped. She'd even tried going there without his knowledge but he'd caught her and the pure agony on his face hadn't been worth it. If she'd expected his temper, she'd been sorely disappointed there too. He'd given her a broken expression, asked her in a hoarse voice to not do this to him again and had walked
away leaving her feeling guilty. He wasn't trying to punish her; it was just that didn't trust her there. She'd been hoping the approaching Ganesh Chathurthi would change that...
A sigh of relief escaped her involuntarily as she found RK slumped at the balcony. He'd taken to standing here lately, staring at the night sky, deep in thought. And whatever was running in his mind couldn't have been pleasant for he seemed in pain as much as he seemed conflicted. And she'd noticed; the more time he spent there, the farther he seemed to move from her. Madhu felt silly for thinking it but it felt as if the balcony was dragging her away from him towards itself. His eyes were facing away from her and with a start, she noticed that they were open; he was wide awake.
"RK what are you doing in the sunlight; it isn't good for your skin. Get in," she reprimanded him, turning to walk back inside without a second glance at him. His next words stopped her in her tracks.
"I felt so cold, Madhu. I needed some warmth. But this sun... people lie when they say the sun provides warmth. See, I'm still cold." Madhu turned; he was still looking away from her but his eyes were visible to her. And as he'd said, they were stone cold; as if his melting brown orbs had simply frozen out overnight.
"RK..." her mind blanked out when she tried to find the words. Whatever had happened to him seemed to have made him this way; but what was it?
"Rishabh..." he whispered. At her confused silence, he added, "Will you call me by my name, Madhu? Not the name the world gave me but the one my parents did; the name that people who
love... care about me call me by. Will you, Madhu? Just once so I can treasure it forever in my memory; when you won't be there and this cold seeps in to take control over me. Will you Madhu?"
He still wouldn't look at her but his words shook her. When she wouldn't be there? When the cold seeped into him? These weren't his words; this wasn't the way the Dramebaaz RK spoke! So who was this? What was this stranger doing in place of her RK?
A sigh escaped him before she could gather her thoughts, "Its ok, never mind. Forget I ever asked. I should..." He was about to stand when her whispered carried to him like a distant melody from the heavens, "Rishabh..."
She'd done it; he was looking at her finally. Madhu sunk to the floor in front of him, afraid her legs wouldn't support her any longer. If his eyes had been ice then, they were the fiery depth of lava now; melting by themselves and threatening to engulf and incinerate her if she looked too long at them. But what was in them behind the sheen of moisture? The barrage of emotions running in them were too much for her to fathom. Pain? Anger? Joy? Sorrow? Helplessness? Desperation? Fear? Serenity? Determination? Insecurity?
They were all there in his eyes; she'd seen his eyes speak before. She'd read their words, understood their varied meanings and moods but now, she was stumped. How was she to even begin to comprehend this intensity? This passionate parade of his expressions that she seemed to barely manage to remain a spectator to? There was a depth in his eyes; one she'd thought she'd measured but was she wrong!
"RK?" her hand extended towards his form, shrinking from touching him. A wane smile flitted across his face at her gesture and like magic, the eyes were wiped clean. He stood up and walked into the room, leaving her looking at him in bewilderment.
Will she ever lose the feeling of having the ground pulled from under her when she was with him?
XXX
RK cursed himself for his blunder; he hadn't meant to act like a martyr. Talking about her leaving him and all that. If things went as he'd planned, it wouldn't be her walking away; it would be him, letting her go... RK swore, taking his anger out on the little button that had come off his shirt.
"What happened?" Madhu came in pushing the breakfast trolley. Seeing his frustration, a sliver of smile crossed her features before she could stop it. Her movements were abrupt and strained as she plucked the button from his hands and began to sew them. They'd gone through this once before; when she'd stitched together his battered life and made it good as new.
She seemed to be thinking along the same lines, for her eyes lifted to his in silent question; a question she'd asked a thousand times and he hadn't been able to answer, even once. Why had you destroyed it all? Why did you have to annihilate our perfect world? Why?
RK averted his eyes; as always. He couldn't let her see him weaken again. He needed to appear strong; now more than ever. If it even occurred to her that he might be wavering... he'd never be able to right the wrongs.
The sound of the thread snapping brought his attention back; Madhu held the needle with the leftover thread in her hands. RK looked at his shirt; the button was perfectly in place. The job of the thread was over; it was time to snap it.
"Get ready; you have twenty minutes," RK dictated before walking out of the room; or trying to. Her hand at his wrist stopped him; she'd taken to doing that sometime in the past months. It had always been him handling her then but now, it seemed she had taken the reigns right out of his hands.
"Where?" her tone was indifferent as ever, only the unsteadiness of her hand betraying her insecurity.
"We're going to the Chawl; your home," RK replied stonily and Madhu almost missed the last whispered part. The way he had said 'your home' made her heart stop. Could he mean' Was he cruel enough to do this to her once more?
Madhu stood rooted to the spot even as RK managed to slip out of her grip. For all she cared right then, the world could have been destroyed'
A/n: I know nothing much happened in the chapter but the next one's fraught with surprises!!
Precap:
Madhu opened the door to the room; the room where Sultan had once stayed. The door seemed oddly well polished, well used. Almost as if...
"Sultan?" Madhu exclaimed in surprise, part joyful and part confused. "You're here? How come?"
"I asked him to come, Madhu," the answer came from behind and Madhu turned to see RK standing at the courtyard in the middle of the chawl.
She'd never seen RK give Sultan this warm a reception as he did now, "Thanks for coming..."
Madhu stopped watching, a mute spectator, as Sultan accepted RK's welcome with a curt nod, "I had to; you told me it was about Madhu..."
Do like and comment; if only to tell me if I'm doing something wrong with the story?
Edited by Nina90 - 12 years ago
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