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Like usual, Shwetzy to the rescue! I gotcho back woman! <3
Chronicles of SuperShweta & RKbala
"Hello Dumb and Dumber," Shweta entered the Kundra/Bhatia residence.
"Hey! I am not Dumb!" Dips exclaimed.
"I never said you were, Sikky is Dumb, you my dear are the Dumber." She chuckled as she ran up the stairs.
"Some cartoon family you've got," Shweta mumbled as she walked to the lovely couple's room.
Knock. Knock. Knock. "I'll give you guys 5 seconds to get off of each other I'm coming in!" She giggled.
"Very funny," she heard RK.
"Come in!" Madhu called out.
"Wow, you both actually have your clothes on this time. I'm proud!" Shweta commented as she made herself comfortable on Madhu Di's lap. "You better be taking good care of my Di, jeej."
"Would it kill you to act like a normal saali for once?"
"Yes, yes it would." She replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "Anyways, Di you know Pritt from high school?"
"Kaun?" Madhu tried to search through her foggy memory.
"Are Pritt yaar! Apni Preeto Di!"
"Toh fir aise bol na! Preeto! Yes, yes. What happened?"
"Let's just say we need to teach a two-timing, backstabbing, little a-hole a lesson for what he did to Preeto, the poor thing is so heartbroken." Shweta explained as she whispered the plan to Madhu.
"Let's Do This." Madhu stated as sure as one could be.
"Well you two have fun with that," RK stated basically telling the two to keep him out of it.
"Not so fast jeej, we need you to be a part of this too." Shweta stopped him.
"And what makes you think I'll give into your silly little plan?" RK questioned.
Madhu got up and gave him the death stare, "Guess who's gonna be spending our 2nd Honeymoon on the couch?"
Damn her! "Alright fine."
"I tell you, he's too easy!" Madhu and Shweta burst into laughter.
***
"Alright so now we just need a code name for that excuse-of-a-human." Shweta fumed as they were done with their preparations.
"How 'bout bloody kameena? I saw it in a movie!" Madhu suggested.
"Come on Biwi, be original."
"The dog?" RK suggested.
"Kyun kutto ki insult karne pe tule hue ho?" Shweta shooed him. "How about Raavan?"
"Raavan it is!" They agreed.
***
So Raavan walked into the studio. He was so pleasantly surprised that Superstar RK had called him over for a once in a life time acting experience with him.
Madhu and Shweta meanwhile were hiding behind imaginary bushes keeping an eye on him.
"You did tell Pritt to turn her TV at 7:30 right?" Shweta tried to confirm.
"Yes, yes. I even told Trishna to go there and make sure she does."
"Good, now let's get this party started.
"Hey Raavan my boy, over here!" RK called out.
"Excuse me?" The little a-hole asked.
"I mean Rohan, sorry Rohan-Raavan, very easy to confuse you see." RK covered up his mistake.
"Wah kya acting karta hai mera Shona!" Madhu fangirled to Shweta.
"Haan, haan, kamaal ki acting kar raha hai. Abhi doh minute main humara jhoot pakda jaata." Shweta sighed.
"Alright so Rohan, we'll need you to get in front of the camera before we decide on anything. Think of it like your screen test."
"Oh alright, but where are my lines?"
"Actually its just going to be us asking you a few questions and getting to see how you transition on camera."
"Oh... Alright thanks!" The a-hole walked off.
"Whew..." RK caught his breathe.
"Oh my Shona! You were wonderful!" Madhu ran to hug RK.
"Get a room you two," Shweta almost puked.
"We actually had one until we were rudely driven out of it." RK stated quite annoyed.
"Oh be quiet jeej," Shweta asked him to shush himself. "That idiot is going to be broadcasted live and he doesn't even know it." She chuckled to herself.
***
"Alright, good luck!" Madhu gave him a quick peck.
"You better do this right," Shweta urged.
And so Sir. Wh**e and RK were in front of the camera ready for the questioning. Only this was being broadcasted live on every Indian channel known to man. Having a Superstar Jija did have it's benefits.
"And action!"
"Hello Rohan," RK began.
"Hello Sir," the a-hole greeted back.
"So I hear your auditioning for a movie today?"
"Yes sir,"
"You do know a movie requires a lot of commitment,"
"Yes, and I am probably the most committed person you will find for this film."
Haan, haan. Kitna committed hain woh toh dekh hi rahi hoon.
"I'm sure," RK grew disgusted with the man. "Anyways, so do you know what this film is about?'
"No sir, I haven't been told."
"And yet your willing to act in it," he chuckled. "Well let me tell you what it's about. It's about a guy named Rohan, the character that your coincidentally auditioning for, who is in a relationship with a beautiful young girl named Pritt," RK paused to observe Rohan's facial expression.
The little bas***d grew tense and began to sweat.
"Are you alright Rohan?"
"No, I mean yes, yes I'm fine continue."
"Alright then, so then this character Rohan, cheats on his girlfriend leaving her heartbroken. And then comes the interval. Tell me what you thought of the story so far?"
"It... Uh.. It was good. I loved it."
"And what do you think of cheaters? Particularly this character of Rohan?" RK asked.
"Uh... They are v-ver..."
But before he could answer RK continued his intense questioning. "What do you think about the victims? Have you ever cheated on anyone? Why did you cheat on her? Are you oddly attracted to s**ts? Do you have no morals? Is rotting in hell a desire of yours?" RK continued as Madhu and Shweta joined in.
"We all know what you did," Shweta picked his head up by his hair. "Now say your sorry?" She dropped him to the ground.
"Sorry! Sorry!" He screamed.
"Don't say it to me you moran! Say it to the camera! Say it to Pritt!"
"Sorry! I'm so sorry!"
"Now call your self an idiot."
"What?"
"DO IT." Shweta exclaimed while RK and Madhubala sat down to enjoy the show.
"I'm an idiot!"
"Now slap yourself."
"Huh?"
"Are you going to do it or do I have to do it for you?" Shweta grew furious.
"No, no I will!" he quivered in fear as he slapped himself.
"Now, wear this." She handed him a donkey costume with a hole cut out so they could see his sorry face.
He didn't even bother questioning her this time and did as he was told.
"Now drink this," She handed him a mysterious red cup.
"What is thi..." He stopped himself and drank from the cup only to clasp his arms around his throat.
"Red hot chilli sauce! Hot! Hot! Hot! Water!!!" He started screaming as he saw a large bottle of water in Shweta's hands.
"You want water? Dance to Gangnam Style."
"WHAT?"
"Now. Or no water," Shweta began spilling the water.
"NO! Wait!" Raavan began dancing to Gangnam Style.
"And now say that you will never show your face to her, call her, text her, email her, or ever try to get in contact with her again. And call yourself a disgrace to human beings while your at it."
At this point the Raavan was desperate for water and so he did as he was told.
"Pritt I will never show my face to you, call you, text you, email you or ever try to get in contact with you ever again. And I'm a disgrace to human beings world wide."
"Now keep repeating that whilst dancing to Gangnam Style." She ordered as she turned to face the camera.
"That my friends was the first episode of 3rd Degree Torture, Cheaters Edition. See you next week!" She closed out the show as she turned to face him.
"Here, now get lost." She threw the water bottle at him.
"Thanks Di and Jeej! She ran to hug them. "Now I gotta go see someone,"
***
She arrived at Pritt's house and ran up the stairs to see her painting.
"Di?"
"Shweta?" She turned around to run and hug her. "That was amazing!"
"You know how I do." She brushed her own collars with fake swag.
"It was hysterical! I really understand that there's no use in moping over him anymore, I'm done with him. Or in your words, I be done with that Raavan!" Pritt hugged her.
"I'm glad." She hugged her back.
_______________________________________
A/N: I hope you liked it! I know the story made sense but I sort of had to. And if any of you other girlies, have been through some douchebag man in your life too than just imagine Shwetzy beating him up and smile. I got all of your backs <3
And Pritt, I love you woman! We all do. Crap happens and we just gotta learn to filter it out of our lives, here's a song just for you cause I know you're STRONGER than that <3
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4Y-FbeCX14[/YOUTUBE]
Shweta <3
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