HOW CAN I MAKE MY FAMILY AGREE

Me and my boyfriend are in a relationship since 8 years and we have good bond between us, we are of same cast and since 2 years we are in a long distance relation and he comes to meet me whenever he gets time. We want to get married but the problem is his family has accepted and has met me many times but my family recently came to know about it and are fired on me they in no condition want to accept it and as a result I am only getting tortured mentally and not physically because they live in different state right now but they everyday scare me that they will come here and then they will tell me.

Ok .. im sorry to hear what you've been going through. Seriously, I have no idea what you can do in this. If I were you I think I would have left the matter for a while and wait to simmer it down for a while, so at least later all or your father will be in a situation to talk to you about it or he can think calmly ?! Are you guys already into marriage thing ?! is thier any rush to get married ? I say .. let your boy become something or get settled in some way ... so you can tell your parents he isn't that bad choice and it will give you some time to think about how you gonna approach them later on... and if they are forcing you .. maybe you need to tell them that you still need time for your career as well as you're not in phase to deal with anybody else. Another approach you can take is .. talk about it to your trustworthy in family and hopefully your dad's trustworthy too. Its not about manipulating him, its about conveying your message through them. Tell your pov to your that member and tell them exactly what you are feeling and give all rite information and maybe he or she can show your father what you tryna say ?! :/ ... another thing you can do is let elders talk about it, I mean your bf parents can have a talk wid your parents, though I would be hard ..but if they will do , they might talk rationally and in good way n things might end in good way.

Few things you cant control in your life and you need to let it go intentionally or unintentionally. JUst be patient or remain silent for a while. Your silence will convey a lot of things as well. Dont affect yourself in this stress. Get yourself together, cuz until you wont be mentally sound .. everything will go downhill .. so its important , to remain and calm and collected. Give your best shot .. if things gonna work out, IT will work out. But also prepare yourself that you might have to face with disappointment after all life is not wish granting factory.

Other members will tell you more solution , it just my 2 cents

First of all, wait till your boyfriend gets a job. He could take up a part-time job or freelance while completing his Phd. If you have no qualms about supporting him financially, go ahead with your marriage plan.

His family is ready to talk to my family but I don't want this now because I respect them and don't want them to get humiliated because of me. Even he is ready to talk to my family but I am really scared what they will do to him. We were actually not in to marriage thing at least now, we wanted all this to happen after a year but suddenly everything went out of control.

Originally posted by: payal025

His family is ready to talk to my family but I don't want this now because I respect them and don't want them to get humiliated because of me. Even he is ready to talk to my family but I am really scared what they will do to him. We were actually not in to marriage thing at least now, we wanted all this to happen after a year but suddenly everything went out of control.

If everything going haywire then anything you would do might backfire in my opinion.. ?! leave it for a while , it will be like burning your hands rite now, better let it go for a while and try to concentrate on your job. Let things chill down, then you can talk to your mother or any close one about it ... i think at that point if your boy family talk to yours -- there will be less of tension and things would be more clearer . rite now i dont see any point them talking to yours, It will worsen the situation and ruin the future chance too. Patience is virtue here. Its hard to be in such situation, try not to take anything personally -- I promise this will make you feel so much lighter and less stressful. Your parents care for you and want best for you dats why they have such strong reaction.Dont keep any grudges against them as well. Dont push their buttons rite now and back off. Tho' it doesn't sound very practical thing but you know what -- believe in yourself n on your love. Have faith things will get done ..give it some time, things will start falling in places and who knows by that time you might able to find some solution to this and time change so does people n their thinking -- dont lose hope. :)

Its sad that your family does not understand your situation but as family they only want the best for you .