The Closure - Prologue
She stood there in haze, still sweating, still shaken, specs slightly cracked, clothes mildly torn subtly suggesting the man-handling she faced in the last few hours. She didn't have what it took to stand there and clarify all the questions glaring at her, but this was her only go, if she didn't muster the courage to live through this and throw light on all the grey areas, by the time she was ready, she knew, new lies would be woven. He would already be entangled in a fantastically intricate, new mesh of lies.
Taking a deep breath Pragya Arora looked into the eyes of her beloved, she was ready for this last fight that would make her Pragya Abhishek Mehra again. She looked into his deep hooded eyes. In the last few hours when she was sinfully abducted by the cruel antagonists of her life, her Abhishek had been subjected to a few truths - she was his wife, Aaliya was no more his lovable innocent sister, Tanu was nothing more than a gold-digging sultry seductress.
Now looking deeply into those eyes Pragya realized, he was looking back at her vacantly. This was both mercy and penance. Mercy because, the retelling didn't seem to affect his health adversely as his panel of doctors had expected, and penance because, even the retelling didn't bring back his old memories back, again as the panel expected.
Pragya always thought, telling Abhishek the truth was going to be enough. In her naive innocence, she never realized she had always assumed that, hearing the truth would bring back his lost memory - that didn't happen. They were all in a limbo - suddenly her Abhishek knew the most painful truth of their life, but only as a story, hearing as a third person - he knew it was his story, but how could he know really? He didn't remember living those memories.
"Suniye, I know you are confused. Let me explain" she began.
***
He was standing in the strangest crossroad of life, at a point when the mind and heart depart to pursue a journey of their own - and there she stood between the two roads, tired, fragile, exhausted and unsure. Who was she? The woman he fell in love with after being betrothed to someone else, or the woman who has been married to him for three years now? The heart reasoned that it didn't matter, she was the same person, but the mind couldn't accept that. Whom indeed would he go back to? His wife, whom he doesn't remember, but has to accept because his trusted allies vouch for her? Or the woman whom he loved so dearly, but who kept this truth away from him? Pragya, whoever she was, had no footprints in his memory as a wife, and had failed him in trust as a lover.
His heart wanted to push everyone aside, and his mind wanted answers then and there. Abhishek Prem Mehra's moral dilemma knew no bound. As he stood there staring at her in eerie calmness, it almost felt bizarre to think of all the barriers he had to break to reach here in that shed, halfway out of the city in his wedding attire, to save her. There she was, freed from her assasins, barely able to stand, looking at him weakly. Instinct wanted him to rush to her and comfort her, suspending all other thoughts, but something had changed. It changed so subtly that he couldn't point a finger at what changed, but he couldn't go and hold her close to him.
As he watched her silently in a shed full of allies who were holding their breath in anticipation of a larger than life reaction - Abhi saw her trying to pull herself together to explain things to him. Another tiny part of him died, seeing the mammoth effort his wife was putting to make this work - he didn't remember his wife, and this Pragya was his wife. Why was she fighting so hard for them? Were they worth it? Every legit step she took towards him, he wanted to take one step backward.
"Suniye, I know you are confused. Let me explain" she began.
No, he didn't want to hear her, he was afraid he would find sense in what she said, that would put him in further dilemma, he didn't want his wife to make sense, that would push his Pragya further away from him, the Pragya he was mad at for hiding all this, but also the woman he loved so dearly.
"Not now" he heard himself telling her.
"This is not the best place or time. Go home, take rest. We will talk later" he replied steadily.
"Which home?" she asked timidly.
"Your home. Your mother must be worried." And at that moment, he saw it in her eye. It had finally hit her. Something between them had changed.
***
~A few weeks later~
Much to the amazement of their family and friends, after the night of Abhi's almost wedding with Tanu, and saving Pragya from her assassins, the two didn't meet at all. Purab was a silent spectator, he had felt the buzz in the air that night, he knew something unexpected was due, now he was waiting in baited breath - after a long time, it was Abhi who had called up Pragya and decided to meet.
A week had passed, as Pragya waited for Abhishek's call. She half knew that it wasn't going to come anytime soon, but something told her she should wait. She could sense a storm in brew. The wait was long, and there were lots of tears of despair, hopelessness and agony. But as days passed, a strange feeling was consuming her. She almost felt reluctant to meet him. This feeling was alien to her - her Abhi knew who she was, she didn't need to fear anyone, but still a part of her didn't want to meet him anymore. It was a long time since peace prevailed in her life. No baited anticipation of evil doings around her, not waiting for hell to break lose, not fighting, not planning, there was an awkward peace in not controlling life. There was serenity in letting go. She knew she loved Abhi, and there was nothing she could do about it - she had accepted that. She was slowly in the path of realizing that their obnoxious past was finally proving successful in decaying a bond so delicate as theirs.
Love couldn't possibly be that difficult. Love should be second nature. And nature shouldn't have as many anomaly such as theirs. With a love so pure, with a past so abhorrent Pragya Arora had slowly realized that their relationship was challenged too many times, and some damages go beyond repair.
***
Abhi missed Pragya, but he only missed the Pragya he remembered. The delicate, diminutive, bespectacled woman, who had entered his life as his fan, and captured his heart thereafter. True, in those testing hours of the past when he learnt his truth, he had lost faith in her, but the heart has reasons of its own to forgive the people they love.
As much as he wanted to meet his Fuggy, he knew his Pragya was gone, the trespasser who would greet him, if he tried to meet his Fuggy, was his wife. This conversion was irrevocable, Abhi realized with a heavy heart. There was no way Pragya was going to go back and become "not-his-wife" from being his wife anymore, so the woman he loved would never ebb.
As days passed, Abhi realized, his past was too tangled. There was a certain disdain for the wife because of whom he lost the woman he loved. But at the same time, being the moral man he was, even if his Fuggy came back, he couldn't love her wholly with the knowledge that he has a wife whom he doesn't remember. The irony of Abhishek Prem Mehra's life was this - both woman in his life was in reality one, but he couldn't see them as one. Revoking this bond would only destroy them further, it was best they parted ways.
***
~In a secluded booth of a posh diner in the suburbs of Mumbai~
"How have you been?"
"Good. I have rejoined college."
"Oh, you had stopped your studies because of our thing?" he asked surprised.
"No. I am a professor of psychology there." She smiled.
"Oh. You're so tiny and fragile! Your students, they listen to you?" he asked with a lopsided grin. He was only trying to hide his amazement in realizing it deeper that he truly knew nothing about this so called wife of his.
"Yes! They listen to me and find me strict sometimes too!" she laughed.
More light banter in the conversation that followed, it was a breath of fresh air as opposed to the heavy conversation they had prepared themselves for. To Pragya, it felt like the old days were back, and to Abhi it was like Fuggy was back.
Eventually both realized the need to address the elephant in the room, something they had ignored for as long as they could - but reality would come knocking one way or the other anyway! She saw it in his eyes, as he took a deep breath. She straightened herself, gearing up for the final conversation of the evening.
"Pragya, this is too complicated between us."
"Abhishek, I think we need time"
"Pragya I think, it's best we start afresh with our lives"
"It's not going to be easy, but that's the best chance we have. All this is too muddled, too complicated."
"Are you going to be okay?" he asked with genuine concern. It touched her.
"I will try my best. You be good, and stay safe, okay?" she replied with a slightly heavy heart.
"We need to add an addendum to our divorce clause. I read it. It says nothing about alimony"
"I don't need it." She replied quietly.
"As your husband, it is my duty to ensure your financial stability, and from what I hear, you have been an extremely giving wife to me Pragya. Please let me do my share" requested Abhi.
Hearing him claim his husband rights on her, made her heart twinge just a little bit, but she ignored it. "Just keep me in your prayers and good wishes. That will do" she replied quietly.
Abhi looked at her silently, his heart broke a little hearing her - he didn't know who he specifically felt sad for - his long lost wife or the Pragya he loved. It didn't matter, it hurt just the same.
"It's getting late, I should go. Thank-you for being such an amazing part of my life Abhishek and all the best" she said with a smile and a thin layer of tear coated in her eyes. With that she parted.
Abhi stared at her retreating figure for a while, there was a sense of loss in him. But he knew this was for their betterment. "This is going to be hard" he murmured to himself, as he left from there.
"Until next time" whispered destiny from behind.
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