AbhiGya - Is this Love?
This girl didn't seem very competent. She didn't even have a medical or nursing degree. Yes, she did seem kind and docile and compassionate, but she wasn't an expert! Aaliya and Tanu seemed to discretely hate her for some reason, and Daadi seemed to insist too much on hiring her.
"But Daadi, she is a professor of English, not a nurse, how will she take care of you?" Abhi asked exasperated, for the umpteenth time.
"But that's a good thing isn't it? She will take the pay of a nurse and at the same time help Bunty and Bubbly with their English too! I daresay we live too lavishly my son, we could do with a little bit of cost cutting!" replied Daadi who seemed in no mood to listen.
"Daadi your grandson is the only Rockstar in a nation of one billion! What he earns in a day, most people can't earn in half a lifetime! Why do we need to do cost cutting?" asked a bewildered Aaliya, and Abhi nodded in agreement.
"What will you know? Have you ever seen hard days? Your brother and I have always protected you from that! Besides it's his hard earned money, I don't want it to go vain. If you hire a nurse for me, it has to be this girl, else I will manage. And if I can't manage, I will go to Ludhiana and stay with my sisters! Then you both do whatever pleases you!" Daadi finished with a triumphant smile on her face, she had played her trump card, now there was no other way to her wish.
Abhi had only opened his mouth to protest when Purab pulled him aside and put forth his opinion, "Abhi, if Daadi has so much faith on her, then lets give this a try? If she can't manage, we can dismiss her and hire a professional any time right? But if Daadi is comfortable with her, it's better she stays around right? More than professional expertise, I think Daadi needs a companion, I will keep her engaged and healthy"
Purab did make sense, and Abhi decided to not counter argue. Ever since Daadi collapsed the other day due to low pressure, the doctor had insisted that they didn't stress her. A reluctant Abhi decided to go on with her whim.
***
When Abhi came down for breakfast the next day, he noticed half his family was sitting tensely in hall. When they noticed him, Purab rushed to get him. Abhi scanned the room, there was Mithali Bhabi and Raj bhaiya sitting on the settee, Tayaji was sitting next to Daadi on the sofa, Aaliya was sitting on the single couch and Tanu was balancing herself on the arm of Aaliya's couch - they all stared like hawks at the single couch that had its back towards Abhi. Who was it sitting there he wondered, as he walked ahead of the couch and turned back to look at the person sitting there.
There was a pair of ancient glasses perched on a small, almost invisible nose. The lips of the owner was full and soft pink, just like a child's, she probably never smoked in her life he thought irrelevantly. But what struck him was her eyes behind those hideous glasses, they were deep and dark and somehow commanded him to trust her. Wait, this had happened to him before - those eyes, he had seen them before! Not once but a couple of times! Abhi came out of his trance and focused on the whole face. Yes, this was the same girl!
"Hey! I have seen you before!" he spoke out loud, startling the woman and also at the same time earning the gasp of everybody in the room. He looked around confused for a second and decided to let it go. Instead he focused on her now. She looked perplexed for a moment, and her eyebrows had risen so high that it seemed to vanish behind her hairline!
"Aren't you the same lady I pulled out from among the fans on my last stage show?" he asked surprised. She gathered herself and expression in a moment and nodded in affirmative.
"Also, it was you who gave me your umbrella the other day outside RK Studio when it suddenly started raining and the driver hadn't arrived with the car?" She nodded again.
"Are you stalking me Miss?" Abhi asked mischievously and for a moment caught her off guard, but she soon replied back saying,
"No on the contrary I have been trying to say thank-you to you for so long, but you always seem to leave in a hurry!"
"Why would you want to thank me?" he asked surprised.
"You are the same man who saved my life after I fell off a bridge into the water, a few years back!" she replied with a small smile.
Abhi stared at her for a moment, he did remember saving someone indeed, while shooting for an advertisement, but he didn't quite remember the face of the woman, but now coming to think of it, yes indeed it was her! As he smiled in recognition, she smiled back at him with a strange expression.
"All this is nice, but you know Miss, my Daadi needs a medical professional honestly, but she keeps insisting you will be good for her - I understand you have met her a few times at the temple and have helped her climb up and down the steps, doing that and being a full time attendant to her is different - you think you can cope with this?" he asked her seriously.
"Yes, I am sure I can keep up. And also, please call me Pragya" she smiled, and her eyes again seemed to command him to trust her - and he simply did.
"Okay, you're on board err.. Pragya!"
***
"Not now Chashmish, in five minutes please!" he answered irritably while he pressed the remote furiously. Anytime he was going to beat Bunty in the race now.
"Nope, no more delays!" came the stern reply.
"Oh come-on chahci, you just cant see him beaten can you?" smirked Bunty from the side, and a suddenly distracted Abhi, turned to stare at the him - and in a moment Bunty screamed, "Aaannnddd I win again! How was it chachu!" Abhi and Pragya both laughed seeing his innocent mischief. Pragya chided him for cheating and laughingly handed Abhi his medicine, which he finally took obediently and gulped down with water.
It had been three months that Pragya had started working for them. She seemed to fit in their life as easily as if she belonged there. Abhi smiled remembering the first time he and Bunty had together teased her calling her chashmish', as she caught them cheating while playing snake and ladder with her! He has called her chashmish ever since! She helped Bunty and Bubbly with their academics along with taking care of Daadi, who was now as healthy as ever! She sometimes even helped Mithali bhabhi and Robin in preparing food, and not to mention, she had completely taken over his medication and diet charge too! She gelled with Purab like they were siblings and scorned at his music like it was pathetic! He was so used to seeing her in the house that it felt weird when she would go home on Sundays! He would end up calling everyone chashmish' and that would earn him smirks from everyone - everyone except Aaliya and Tanu. He wondered why three ladies never got along - he had seem Aaliya and Tanu sneer at chashmish' a couple of times, he would invariably go and save the situation, but he knew there was coldness there - even chashmish' didn't seem to be very fond of them!
It was when Abhi mistakenly called Robin chashmish' a few times before Bunty, that he picked up this habit of teasing his chachu with his Pragya Ma'am, but he would always do it privately and refer to her as chachi, but the young monkey knew no bound today! He called chashmish' - chachi - right in front of her! And to his dismay, she even responded at once! Was he thinking too much about it? Reading too much in between the lines? Probably! But it felt nice to be around chashmish' she was the only one who didn't behave with him like he was a Rockstar (apart from Aaliya and Daadi)!
***
He was sitting with his Daadi and Purab one Sunday evening and chatting when his Daadi broached the topic - it had been six months since she was unwell, and now she was doing perfectly well, her reports were consistently showing progress and she was stronger than ever - hence she didn't need a nurse any longer, maybe they should dismiss Pragya so that she could go back and continue teaching? Abhi quickly looked at Purab, waiting for him to argue against Daadi, but to his dismay, even he was with Daadi on this one! Wasn't he close to chashmish' ? wouldn't he miss her if she left? What was wrong with him?
"But Daadi, you have only started recovering, what is the hurry? Let her be here for some more time!" he piped in.
"But Abhi, previously you only pointed out right, that she was not a professional and she is a professor? Out of kindness she agreed to help us, we cant stop her here forever, not like this anyway, she has a career, she will face set backs there - I think Daadi is right, she should go back" argued Purab. Trust Purab to argue sensibly, and shut him up in the wrong places! He was about to open his mouth for counter arguing when Daadi spoke again.
"It's decided then, we will leave Pragya then - unless you want to keep her Abhi, but if you want to keep her, you have to find another way" she smiled mischievously.
"Another way?" he asked uncertainly.
"Abhi, we all have seen how fond you are of Pragya di. Not a day passes where you don't bother her. So Daadi and I were wondering...whether you have the noble intentions of marrying her! Of course she cant be Daadi's nurse and bahu' at the same time, hence we decided to do away with the nursing business - are with us on this?" Purab smirked, and for once Abhi couldn't control blushing!
"You both have gone mad! Absolutely bonkers!" he said as he dashed out of the room all red with Daadi and Purab laughing behind him. Back in the safety of his room he thought about her, like he did every night, what was it about her that caught him off guard, her simplicity? her eyes that commanded trust, he compassion towards Daadi, her childish behavior around the kids if the house, her companionship with Mithali bhabi, or her authority over him, which she exercised to feed him medicines and made him stick to his diet? Did he feel attracted to her the night when they sat and chatted after he broke up with Tanu and he had told her his story of drifting apart from Tanu? Or was it the time, she narrated the story of her four attempts at failed marriages. She was not the meteor that passed his sky and left him so blinded that he couldn't see anything, she was the gentle water that seeped through the ground and nourished his roots. He knew he didn't have two years worth of memory with him, but that hardly seemed to matter when he was with her - she made losing memory and living, a child's play for him - with her around, he didn't seem to care what was there in the past - it was possibly because, his present and possible future was too beautiful for him to care about the past!
Maybe Daadi and Purab was wright, maybe it was time to take a call, but Chashmish? Did she reciprocate to his feelings? He will soon find out!
***
They were sitting in his balcony and munching on wafers, it was late at night and everybody else had gone to sleep.
"So chashmish' what next?" he asked nonchalantly.
"Next?" she replied uncertainly.
"Yes, I mean, Daadi has fully recovered, she probably won't be requiring your services anymore! So after this what next?" he elaborated.
She looked pained for a moment, a sudden flash of agony, that he had often noticed, crossed her face, he always wondered what that was, but today it made him feel positive - was it the pain of separating from him? Did that mean she liked him too? Wasn't it strange enough that a glamorous Rockstar fell in love with a calm, quiet, docile professor?
"I will resume teaching I suppose" she replied shortly.
"That's obvious! but what else? Any plans of marriage? Is there a boyfriend hiding in your closet?" he asked chirpily, though his senses were sharp as ever to pick up any suspicious behavior. She looked at him with a strange and exasperated expression for a moment before replying,
"I am already married. Didn't you know that Rockstar?" Abhi felt like all the air had been sucked out of his lung! What in heavens was she saying? When did she get married? Why did she never talk about her husband ever? Why did she play along with him? Wait, was she pulling his leg?
"Acha?" he smiled crookedly. "Where is you husband then? Off to Mars on a mission?" he asked laughing, but much to his dismay, chashmish' didn't seem to be joking.
"He is there. Somewhere. Happy. We are separated." she replied quietly. Staring ahead of her never meeting his eyes. Abhi realized it was no joke, he finally placed those agonized expressions he had seen on her in a few occasions. What fool would leave her? Though he was pained to see her, but was it really unfair to feel a little happy? This meant he still had a chance right?
"What had happened?" he asked softly.
"Accidents. A series of them." she replied quietly with a film of tears covering her eyes.
"What do you mean?" he asked gently, but looking straight ahead - he didn't dare look her in the eyes, he would give away too much.
"The first accident - we got married. I married out of compulsion, and he married out of hate. He mistook me to be the person who was after his sister's fianc - he married me to teach me a lesson and keep me away from his sister's fianc"
The second accident - He gad no idea of his treacherous girlfriends real intention and he was hopelessly in love with her, while he was married to me.
The third accident - Inspite of hating me, he adored my family and took care of them beyond a doubt, and hence I fell in love with him.
The fourth accident - When he got to know I wasn't the girl he thought I was, he started trusting me, but soon after his sister trapped me in a fake MMS scandal and he lost his faith in me again. But it was he who pulled me out of it too. We got closer ad friends and this wasn't a good sign because he loved someone else.
The fifth accident - I got kidnapped but a rouge, and in order to save me he took a bullet for me in the chest - I had almost lost him that time, but we made it. Eventually he fell in love with me too.
The sixth accident - When we finally decided to have a future together, his girlfriend faked her pregnancy with his child. We got separated for what we thought forever, but after a tedious phase, it was brought before him that the child was not his - all was finally well until,
The seventh accident - His girlfriend tried to kill me, and as usual, he got in between and suffered from a massive accident - I never found him after that - all was lost." she finished with a shudder and incessant tears on her angelic face. Abhi realized he was holding his breath in shock - who would have thought this chirpy, cute, innocent chashmish' could be hiding such demons in her past?
"Where is he now?" he asked quietly.
"I don't know" she replied shortly, still shaking in tears, and soon she left from there. Abhi didn't call after her - he knew she needed the time. Other questions swam in his head -could she possibly ever forget this husband of hers? Would she ever consider him? Should he dare pop the question? Would she stop being his friend even if she declined? How did he come so far with her, without knowing anything about her? What was it about the woman that tugged at his heart? Clearly, she had no feelings for him - or did she? Would he ever find out? Maybe he should talk to Daadi and Purab before talking to her again?
***
It was Sunday, and Pragya had gone home - Abhi thought this was the best time to discuss the matter with Daadi and Purab. He was only about to enter Daadi's room when he overheard Daadi and Purab.
"Purab beta, you think we have pushed him too far?" asked a concerned Daadi.
"No Daadi, he definitely seemed to like Pragya di."
"Then why hasn't he asked her yet? Did Pragya mention anything of that sort to you? On the contrary she looked very disturbed in the last few days. Do you know what is wrong? She didn't tell me anything"
"Daadi relax, Di is tensed because Abhi has mentioned that you are recovering and maybe we wont need her here for too long - she fears she will have to leave - and I didn't have the heart to tell her there is a possibility that Abhi might propose to her - you see you can never tell with Abhi, what if he didn't? It would break her heart again" sighed Purab.
"I don't know what is in store for that child Purab. I feel horrible for her - to have a husband who doesn't remember her? Someone who is in front of her all the time, who spends all his free time with her, but can't recognize her for who she truly is? Beta, Abhi has so far shown no signs that the doctors had mentioned of memory recovery - will he never remember his wife? Will he never remember Pragya? What has Pragya done to deserve this beta?" Daadi sighed and her voice broke in despair.
Abhi's world fell apart one more time. He was married? And Pragya - his chashmish' was his wife?
***
Sitting in his studio he was in a whirlpool of words and feelings - that unknown attraction towards chashmish' her carefree ways in the house, her fitting in, her always knowing what to do - his attachment towards her - all those unexplained things that felt romantic to him - actually had a reason? Chashmish fit in here because she belonged here! He felt cheated in a way - everyone knew everything except him - but was he the one who faced the brunt of all this? No! Pragya did - she was suffering, did he have the right to feel cheated? Was he really as much in love with her as she had mentioned the other night? Will he ever know? He knew everything about the past now, but still it irked no memory? Will he ever remember her? Them? Will he ever love him as hopelessly, or will she forever be itching for more, for the love he had once shown her? Will she be happy with the new him, who was only attracted and so much in love with him for the wrong reasons? All the ambiguity, the un-understood attraction had a reason now - his heart knew her - he didn't fall in love with her the way she deserved, he just fell back in habit - would she be better off with him or without?
He didn't have his memory back after knowing the truth, and in a way it helped, he was being able to see their situation from a third persons point - the unfairness she faced, the hurdles she faced, they hatred she accepted all for him - earlier she had a cause, his intense love for her - but now? The ache of not feeling loved enough or as much - why should she take that? She suffered everything for undying love, but now if he took her, she will still suffer and this time without undying love to balance it. He loved her, but didn't love her enough, he didn't love her as much as the older Abhi did - he thought she deserved no less.
With a heavy heart Abhi realized, if he couldn't be that Abhi again, he didn't deserve that Pragya either - he thanked his starts for not returning his memories after hearing everything - had his memory returned, he wouldn't have let her go - to start afresh - but now he will. It will hurt him nonetheless, but it would be for her good - she deserved a fresh start - at a place where there are no dark clouds of the past - a place where no misunderstanding grows - and that couldn't be with him - His greatest gift to Pragya would be to letting her re-start life afresh - this time without him.
Next morning when Pragya arrived, he let her go. Go from his life stating Daadi didn't need a nurse anymore. She left silently, thinking Abhi would never know her. He let her go silently, hoping she would find herself this time. Aaliya thought she won, Daadi thought justice was denied. But till the end of time Abhi wondered, wasn't this the best way? Love should be ones strength not weakness - he wanted to be the right man for her, he loved her to no end, but as fate would have it, he wasn't destined to lead a happy and peaceful life with her - if he came back to her life, all the pain would too - his Pragya, the Pragya he didn't remember and also this new chashmish' deserved much more than weak love - she deserved happiness, peace and most importantly she needed to find herself - which she did eventually - never knowing her Abhishek had always known her.
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I know, I know none of you want it this way, I don't too! But doesn't Pragya deserve this? Think about it!
Waiting to be bashed :P
Please comment :D
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