"So. Dr. Ashutosh Mathur. Kaisa mahsoos kar rahe hain aap?" Armaan dramatically asked Ashutosh pushing a rolled newspaper in front of him as if it was a reporter's mike.
"Bahut thaka hua mahsoos kar raha hoon aur mujhe sone ki zaroorat hai. Parties can be quite tiring."
"Kamaal hai? Bade selfish hain aap Dr. Ashutosh. Party ke liye din bhar mehnat ki Dr. Nidhi ne. Aur woh ab bhi hospital mein night duty de rahi hain. Aur thak aap gaye Ashu maharaj?"
Ashutosh was taken aback. Indeed! How did he forget about her?
"Armaan. Main hospital jar aha hoon."
"Are. Lekin..."
"Use bhi to aaraam ki zaroorat hogi. Main thodee der uska kaam dekh sakta hoon."
Ashutosh did not even change, picked up his car keys and rushed to the hospital.
--
"Dr. Ashutosh," Nidhi was surprised to see him, but at the same time very relieved. Ashutosh could see that she had been extremely worried, "Achchha hua aap aa gaye. Please is patient ko dekhiye."
"Kya hua? Aap itni ghabrayi hui kyon hain Dr. Nidhi?"
"Ek patient abhi abhi admit hua hai. Uska Asthama control nahin ho raha tha. Isliye uske ghar waale use yahan laye hain. Hum woh control karne ki koshish kar rahe hain, lekin kuchh kaam nahin kar raha hai. Aur abhi abhi use cough aane laga. With blood. TB to nahin lagta. Lekin x-ray karne ke layak bhi haalat nahin hai uski..."
"Dr. Sen kahan hain?" Ashutosh asked about the senior doctor who should have been on duty.
"Thodee der pahle emergency se unke liye call aayi thi. Wahin gaye hain. Main unhein phone karne ki koshish kar rahi thi, lekin I think who utha nahin pa rahe hain."
They had reached the patient's bed by then. The poor kid was coughing badly and was also short of breath.
"Blood Pressure check kijiye. Jaldi."
"Blood Pressure?" Nidhi was puzzled.
"Quick. Dr. Nidhi," Ashutosh was annoyed for a moment.
Nidhi got to work. "Oh God!" she exclaimed as she noticed the BP.
"Blood Pressure control mein laana hoga. This might be a case of Pulmonary Hypertension, not Asthama. Aap please cardiology mein call kijiye aur on-duty senior doctor ko bulaiye. Agar Dr. Khan ho duty par to best hoga."
"Yes Sir."
Nidhi followed his instructions to the T and assisted him as well as Dr. Khan when he reached there. After a while they seemed to have the situation in control and the patient was put to sleep. Ashutosh and Dr. Khan had to discuss the next steps, when Ashutosh' eyes fell on Nidhi who was standing at some distance from them. She was obviously unable to understand what was going on. Fear from seeing the patient's condition as well as exhaustion from the day's work followed by the night duty was written all over her face.
"Dr. Nidhi," Ashutosh addressed her, "This child is stable now. Nurse is looking after him. Mujhe Dr. Khan se aage ki patient-care discuss karni hai. Aap please mujhse dus minute mein mere office mein miliye. I will explain the case to you." Ashutosh had carefully worded his instructions so that it didn't sound odd to others. But he just wanted her to take rest in his office.
"Yes Sir," she said mechanically and left.
--
She didn't have to think too much over Ashutosh' words. It came naturally to her that she should wait for him in his office.
Ashutosh smiled when he entered his office. Nidhi had fallen asleep sitting on the visitor's chair. Her mouth was slightly open as she slept, which made her already innocent face look even more child-like. There was a book lying on her lap, which Ashutosh did not notice. He walked towards her and caressed her head. He was almost in a trance as he did that. Then he realized with a start what he was doing and stepped back. Nidhi woke up and sprang out from the chair seeing him, "I... I am sorry Sir. Pata nahin kaise aankh lag gayi." She explained embarrasedly trying hard to fight off her sleep.
"Sit down Nidhi. It's okay. You were tired, I could see that," Ashutosh himself was yet to come out of the shock his own action from a few seconds earlier had given him. What was he thinking!!
"Achchha hua aap aa gaye. Warna main to kabhi nahin samajh paati ki..."
"Aap kya padh rahi thi?" Ashutosh suddenly noticed the book that was there in Nidhi's hands.
Nidhi handed him the book. She was reading about Pulmonary Hypertension. Ashutosh smiled, "Aapne padhna bhi shuru kar diya. Good. I am impressed."
"Main bahut dar gayi thi. Khaas kar ke jab mujhe realize hua ki meri diagnosis ki koshishein actual problem se bilkul tangential thi."
"It's okay. Calm down. Patient ke pichhle doctor ne misdiagnosis ki thi. Plus, to be honest, I wouldn't expect you to be able to do it right. Ye cases roz roz aate nahin hain. Rare hote hain. I would not be surprised agar kai senior doctors bhi diagnose na kar payen. Unless they keep reading medical journals regularly. In fact, meri Dr. Khan se baat ho rahi thi. He was also caught off-guard. We may not even be equipped to treat him here. Hum uske parents ko advice karne waale hain ki use Delhi le jaayen. AIIMS mein. He would need a super-specialist's care."
"Oh!" Nidhi realized the complication of the situation she had fallen into.
"You look tired. Aap abhi case further discuss karna chahengi? Ya hum kal bhi kar sakte hain."
"Nahin. Abhi karte hain."
"Okay," Ashutosh gave into her eagerness as he explained her the details of the diseases, its symptoms, what all could it be confused with, diagnosis and treatment.
"Thank you Dr. Ashutosh."
"Ismein thanks ki kya baat hai. Aapko explain karna mera kaam hai."
"Nahin. Time par aane ke liye. Agar patient ko kuchh ho jaata to..."
"Yeah. It was not a good situation ki koi senior doctor nahin tha yahan. Hamein emergencies manage karne ke liye better system chahiye. Main administration se baat karoonga."
"Ji. Waise aap aaye kyon the? Aap to din bhar bhi hospital mein the?"
Ashutosh laughed out loud, "Dr. Nidhi Verma. Aapko to police mein hona chahiye. Itna sab kuchh ho jaane ke baad bhi aap original question nahin bhooli. Aur mauka milte hi sawaal-jawaab shuru kar diya."
"Nahin," Nidhi was embarrassed, "I am sorry. Maine to aise hi poochha. Main chalti hoon."
"Nidhi," Ashutosh stopped her, "Tum chaho to ghar ja sakti ho. Main hoon yahan par."
"Aap to Dadi Bua se bhi badtar hote ja rahe hain. Aapko aisa kyon lag raha hai ki main thaki hui hoon? Koi pahli baar night duty thode hi kar rahi hoon?"
"Lekin tum din bhar bhi kaam kar rahi thi. Obviously thaki hui ho. Dikh raha hai shakal par."
"I am fine Dr. Ashutosh. I really am. Aapko mere liye yahan rukne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Main to subah aaraam kar loongi. Lekin aapko phir hospital aana padega."
Ashutosh nodded and Nidhi left. But he could not leave for home. He sank into his chair and spent rest of the night thinking.
Their fondness for each other was more than obvious now. He had heard what Nidhi felt from her own mouth. He knew he liked her. But he didn't expect it to go anywhere. It was not supposed to. The idea was so ridiculous. He had hoped that their relationship will remain innocent and friendly. But...
What had happened to him in that one moment he saw a child-like figure sleeping on his office chair? Why did he have to go and touch her? And feel like...
Nidhi was also confused as she walked out of his office. Was it in her dream that Ashutosh had caressed her head so lovingly? Because when she woke up, he wasn't standing that close to her. And yet she had felt like an electrical shock ran through her veins. It had to be a dream. Ashutosh could not be attracted to her. That was way too much to hope for. Yes, he did appear fond of her. He was friendly and nurturing with her. Once in a while he said or did something that made her feel like he wanted her. But hoping that any of that was a reflection of her own feelings might be too much. She didn't want to hope for too much. She did not want to become another Mallika. She didn't want to become bitter in love by expecting it to come back. She was happy giving love. She was happy with whatever little came back to her. Or even if nothing did. Loving him was enough to give her all the happiness in life."So? How was the midnight hospital date?" Armaan asked Ashutosh when he went home at the breakfast time to change.
"Tujhe kya ho gaya hai Armaan?"
"Mujhe kyon kuchh hone laga Dr. Ashutosh? Hua to aapko hai?"
"Achchha! Mujhe kya hua hai?"
"Kambakht ishq."
"Bakwaas mat kar Armaan."
"Come on Ashu. Ye hamari umra nahin rahi hai in maamlon mein luka-chhipi khelne ka aur blush karne ki?"
"Right Armaan. To tumhein ye bhi samajh mein aata hoga ki ye meri umra nahin hai ek 24 saal ki ladki se pyaar karne ki."
"Indeevar sahab bahut pyaar se likh gaye the aur Jagjit Singh ji ne badi achchhi aawaaz mein gaaya hai "Na umra ki seema ho". Aur unki saari mehnat par tu paani pher raha hai aisi baatein kar ke. Use bhi ghazalon ka shauk hai na? I think usne bhi suna hoga. Nidhi tumse pyaar karti hai Ashutosh. Don't fool yourself."
"I know."
"Phir? Problem kya hai?"
"Problem ye hai Armaan ki ye sab cheezein ghazalon mein, gaanon mein achchhi lagti hain. Real life ke sawaal different hote hain."
"Jaise?"
"Jaise compatibility? Uski umra mein use jin cheezon mein interest hoga, unmein main kahan interest le paunga, uske doston mein kahan hil-mil paunga. Hazaron cheezein hoti hain Armaan."
"Usse baat to kar."
"Theek hai. Maan lo ki hamare beech sab theek hai. We are compatible and we can adjust. Lekin Nidhi ki situation mere jaisi nahin hai Armaan. Ki na koi aage, na koi peechhe. She has a family behind her. And a loving family on that. Armaan... who kabhi nahin maanenge is rishte ke liye. Mujhe kissi se koi matlab nahin hai Armaan. Lekin unke rishtedaar honge, samaaj hoga, jinhein unhein jawaab dena padega. Aur in sabke beech phansega kaun? Nidhi, right? Main kabhi nahin chahunga ki meri wajah se use apne Baba ke khilaaf jaana pade. Who dono ek doosre se itna pyaar karte hain, main tumhein bata nahin sakta. Main ye bhi nahin chahunga ki meri wajah se Nidhi ya uske parivaar par koi ungli uthaye. Main itna selfish nahin ho sakta Ashutosh."
"Par who kya chahti hai?"
"She is too young Armaan. Is umra mein log plan nahin karte, future ki nahin sochte. Unhein lagta hai ki poori duniya unke kadmon ke neeche hai. No Armaan. It won't do to hold her to what she wants now. Ye decision lene ka time nahin hai uska. Kitni duniya dekhi hai usne abhi?"
"Tumse reason out kar ke jeetna mushkil hai Ashutosh. Lekin mera dil kahta hai ki tum ye sahi nahin kar rahe ho. Itne dinon baad khushiyan aayi hain tumhari zindagi mein..."
"Aur main unhein le kar selfish nahin ho sakta Armaan."
Armaan couldn't say anything further.
--
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