Posted:
I want to tell you a story.
There was a middle class man, who lived with his wife and 3 daughters. They had enough to eat but didn't have excess to splurge on luxuries. Kids got what they needed and what they wanted if necessary. The man and his wife tried his level best to be fair to all 3 daughters.
Now the eldest daughter felt the pressure of making her parents proud. So she studied hard and behaved well, because she was the first and had to set a good example. She got compared to her cousins and wanted to make her mother proud by doing her best. She wasn't the favourite, but everyone came to expect the best from her. Rules became her common sense like she had no choice, because she had to watch out for her sisters too.
And the youngest girl was the sunshine in the house, the happy, bubbly, cutie pie. She is the apple of everyone's eye, She has all the family watching out for her, she'll always be the baby. She looks up to her elders and gives back all the love she is given.
And then there's the middle sister. Stuck in between the Pride and Sunshine of the family, what should she be? She decided to be Petulant. She is also smart and capable and very much loved. But she feels pressure of needing to be perfect too, and falls short. She does not know that it isn't a race or a competition. No one was getting more than the other.
She didn't bother to try hard at studies, because she thought she'd never be as good as the eldest sister. She didn't bother being pleasant and nice because she isn't as cute or sunny as the youngest.
But the man and his wife felt the middle daughter's resentment. They constantly felt that she needs more love and attention. So they gave her whatever she wanted, more than the other 2 even. But she was never happy and contented. Just wanted bigger and more things , and kept using her 'disadvantage' to her advantage.
The parents find her the permanent stress in their lives, they wonder where they went wrong with her, if it was their fault that she is so unhappy and depressive? They pull away from her, because she reminds them of their failure and that guilty feeling makes them sad too.
***
I saw this in Ishwari and Neha last week. Neha is the evidence of Ishwari, the imperfect woman. She is constantly looking for reasons to be unhappy and is blantant in laying the blame at her mother's feet. She cares not that she hurts her mother so much, and gives her heartache and sleepless nights over the guilt.
Ishwari is afraid of Neha. Neha is blunt and harsh, takes no blame upon herself for her condition. Everything is Ishwari's fault and Dev's indirectly.
Yes, Ishwari made a grave injustice in denying Neha her education and neglecting her wellbeing. Not only that, it looks like she didn't bother spending time listening the the poor neglected child also. How helpless must this child have felt to have resorted to anger and resentment, and for that to have cemented so hard in her personality.
Neha is so unhappy in her own skin. She needs to be happy being herself first, and just giving her what she wants is not really good parenting. Actually what she needs is someone like Sonakshi, to talk with. Someone outside the circle of guilt and accountability.
Sonakshi owes Neha nothing, so she may be the best to help. Although I don't agree with the idea that all this should be put on Sonakshi's head at all.
Dev saw this ages ago, that Neha and Ranveer are incompatible. But Ishwari thought, Finally Neha will be happy, and I can stop feeling guilty. But it didn't take long for that promise to fall apart, and she can't even say, "Hey, you promised you'd never bring up that old guilt trips again !" Neha doesn't care, that's her only trump card in life !
Also, Neha seems to be the flip side of Sonakshi. Neha went to her sasural, was unhappy because she wasn't made a priority or given importance. So she had the guts to walk out because she deserves to be happy. But she must find this happiness herself.
Sona also went to her sasural. But she was made to feel like an outsider and given no place or importance at all. She couldn't even have her husband to herself at night for a long time. Can she go home and tell her Baba that she refuses to stay there anymore? Can Dev defend himself better than Ranveer did if she did so?
Neha asked Ranveer to leave his family and move out with her. And Dev and Ishwari told Ranveer off for speaking angrily at Neha. What if it were Sona who asked Dev to move out and live with her elsewhere? Would Ishwari and Dev react better?
p/s: I love it that Dev and Sonakshi seem to be a team now. I like their newfound understanding of each other.
p.p/s: Vicky is courting trouble by baiting Elena. Instead of duping Elena, he might end up falling for her himself. đ I won't hide, I don't like it. He shouldn't mess with people's lives like this. He is all GKB, and no part Mamaji at all.
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
