suffocating irritating dev ishwari relationship

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Aditi

@adoremevirgo

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

is it necessary for dev to drag the topic of being indebted to his mom for every small issue like eating food made by her...

yes its absolutely normal for ishwari to expect dev to hv the food...for that i am not blaming ishwari at all...wat wud hv been right is dev telling his mom that he and sona already had dinner at in-laws and so he cannot hv full dinner here but can only hv one or two spoonfuls of wat she has made because he doesnt want her mehnat to go bekaar...that wud be rite thing to do...here dev actually lied wen ishwari asked whether he is hungry and he said yes...i find this ma bete ka rishtaa not only suffocating but also very very unhealthy for his relationship with his wife...wud ishwari do the same thing if on any spl occasion ranvir will come at her place...wont she feed him too...

i dont understand this dev's excuse of lifelong debts and wat ishwari has done for him and bla bla bla for every small thing like eating food made by ishwari there is no need to take it so seriously...we r all indebted to our mothers...that doesnt mean that we wont hv our personal space...if i hv dinner outside and then if my mom says she has made something spl for me of course i will hv a little bit of it but i wont deny that my stomach is full...i will tell her to put in the refrigerator and tmrw i will eat it...its not that they r poor anymore that they dont hv refris and so eat now or tmrw it will get spoiled...we r always blaming ishwari for being overpossessive and gving no personal space to DevAkshi...but now i can see dev is equally to blame...he is happy this way...he doesnt bother to hv any personal space where his mom cannot intrude...he doesnt hv the guts to say his mom that it is obvious that his inlaws will not let him come back without hving dinner on a spl occassion like dusshera...

moreover there is another reason y i hated wat dev did ystrdy...by lying that he has not eaten anything at in-laws he has portrayed a bad image of sona's parents that they cant even feed their jamai...

if dev goes on behaving like this...if for such small things dev drags in the topic of indebtedness toward his mom then how can he spend life with sona...tmrw if he makes a date with his wife and ishwari purposely engages him in another work he will cancel his date with sona saying i am indebted to mom so cant say no...trmw if at the moment of passion at midnite ishwari purposely knocks at their door dev will immediately go to his mom saying he is indebted to his mom...

then my question is y did he marry sona...he knew very well that ishwari does not like sona to be her DIL and she had agreed only because he was in a very bad state...if he can take such a big decision like marriage knowing that his mom is not happy then how come today for every small thing he is lecturing sona about how she cannot understand how much he is indebted to his mom...no it is not possible for sona to understand anything...

just like ishwari has right on him and wants him to spend maximum time with her sona does too...wen dev is returning from office obviously sona feels like waiting for him and hving dinner with him...ishwari is not letting her to do so...here sona cant say anything so dev shud tell his mom that from now on she shud go to sleep and let sona wait for him...nothing to feel bad...he is married now and sona too has right over him and she has to accept that...i agree that dev tells her mom to go and sleep but she refuses...but he shud insist and be strict about this...and if ishwari feels bad honestly thatz her problem...even dev expects sona at dining table after returning home...wat kind of relationship dev has with his mom...he is always taking pride of this relationship but this much openness is not between them that he can share his true feelings with his mom...his true feeling that he wants to spend time with his wife after returning home from office he cant share that with his mom...

i dont know y dev is worried that sona mite see her medical reports...the way he is indebted to his mom he will make love with his wife only after taking permission from ishwari which he will never get...so medical report or not sona waise bhi cannot get pregnant any day...

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Frequent Posters

suma

@suma74

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

This suffocation is always in everyone's house. Just ignore it.

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siddhi.d123

@siddhi.d123

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

Vicky's promotion has digged something in Dev about the past or I don't know but somewhere I think he knows about his mother's insecurities and he is fueling it more out of ignorance or deep sense of protection it's not helping them to solve the problem but indeed increase it and Sona is getting aware of the toxic Dev and Ishwari relation where one is a controller and the other doesn't want to get out of the control.

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

👏👏

Aditi, that's a wonderful post.. And coming from you makes it all the more sensible...

Ishu not letting her role be flexible only puts her own dear bachcha on the spot and putting him in a fix.. She's only gonna kill her son's love for her, making him stick to his routine as if it's a duty.. Dev in the robotic form doing his son duties, keeping his mother happy and keeping a secret affair with Sona, is what's happening... And the secret affair is not going very well because they are fighting.. Looks like slowly Dev-Sona will meet only in their bedroom for their deed, for the sake of it.. And once the medical report comes out in open, Ishu will then stop him from that as well, as there is no materialistic purpose of that deed anymore.. 😆

Edited by Push-pull - 8 years ago

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AnnTaylor

@AnnTaylor

Explorer

Posted: 8 years ago

The way both Dev and Ishwari are holding on to their past looks quite suspicious. How did the insecurity or the unhealthy dynamic started? how did they come close together as one unit? Ishwari's husband was abusive? Is this the reason why nobody talk about him? Yup this relationship of mom-son is really suffocating.

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sia.krpkab

@sia.krpkab

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

Great post! Completely agree. I felt suffocated while reading it - Dev-ishwari and all similar maa-beta jodi's of the world.
Best thing for any bahu is to ignore and get on with her set of favorite people - husband will follow on if he cares!

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eshanis

@eshanis

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

Nice post...regarding dinner ystdy dev could have jus told that thy ate at Bose house and will definitely eat here as well but less as thy r not much hungry he could have told that Bose family will not send them without eating specially on this special day and thy were very happy that devakshi went to visit them so there were many items as well

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kalyani nelluri

@kalyani246

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

i think dev is not at fault...it is ishwari who should understand that dev is married now...and frankly speaking how can a mom compete with wife ...these two are 2 different things...no son in any part of the world can compare his love for wife and mom...

what cvs wants to show us...that mothers are so possive about their sons that they will not let their time with wife...seriously...it is about mother cvs...plz maa ka pyar iss duniya mein sabse pavitra maana jatha hai...plz dont ruined it...

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lavanya

@dlavanya

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

very well said ...Yes I agree that is how an ideal son/husband should be...

What i dont understand is , are you expecting Dev to do all that now ??

I think that balancing relationships is the story of kuch rang pyar ke... so they will gradually show how Dev, Ishwari and Sona - all the three will balance the relationship with the other two and all the three live in harmony..

Just wanted to clarify what your expectations are ?
here is the sequence of tracks that need to happen before Dev can stop lying that he has been used to his whole life to please his mom and now even sona (abt medical reports)

1. Wedding - cehck
2. Sona-Dev - fights over silly things involving Dixit family and mainly mom
3. Sona realizes that the mom-son bond is something different from what she has seen at her home
4. Sona tests ishwari and Dev under several circumstances to confirm her doubt and bring out this insecurity problem in both dev and ishwari
5. Sona will convince Dev that it is not normal and something needs to be done
6. Dev agrees to work with sona to find that good balance
7. Dev and Sona both work on how to decouple this deep bond and let ishwari bond with others/her daughters as well

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Aditi

@adoremevirgo

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: dlavanya
very well said ...Yes I agree that is how an ideal son/husband should be...

What i dont understand is , are you expecting Dev to do all that now ??

I think that balancing relationships is the story of kuch rang pyar ke... so they will gradually show how Dev, Ishwari and Sona - all the three will balance the relationship with the other two and all the three live in harmony..

Just wanted to clarify what your expectations are ?
here is the sequence of tracks that need to happen before Dev can stop lying that he has been used to his whole life to please his mom and now even sona (abt medical reports)

1. Wedding - cehck
2. Sona-Dev - fights over silly things involving Dixit family and mainly mom
3. Sona realizes that the mom-son bond is something different from what she has seen at her home
4. Sona tests ishwari and Dev under several circumstances to confirm her doubt and bring out this insecurity problem in both dev and ishwari
5. Sona will convince Dev that it is not normal and something needs to be done
6. Dev agrees to work with sona to find that good balance
7. Dev and Sona both work on how to decouple this deep bond and let ishwari bond with others/her daughters as well

gud list...no i did not write about my expectations...i just expressed the situation in dixit household rite now..the relationships shown in this serial r very complicated...howver they r very real too as i hv seen similar things around me...

i hv no expectation since they r showing real things and in life nothing hapens according to expectations...i trust the makers...they r brilliant in handling the cobwebs of emotions and relationships...i will wait and watch how the story unfolds...

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suffocating irritating dev ishwari relationship

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