Posted:
I loved Ranveer's surprise revelation today! At the end of the day, either Ranveer or Neha had to compromise their ideals, and I really admire Ranveer for stepping up and refusing to let his pride come in the way of his love. This is precisely what Neha needs in her life, someone who is willing to put her happiness above anything else, and love her unconditionally, even if she herself is not capable of returning that unconditional love yet.
Neha still has deep psychological wounds from the way she was treated growing up, and the way she is treated even now. Contrary to what Dev surmises, I don't think her bitterness comes from the experience of poverty itself, but rather from the lack of recognition for her constant effort towards the family's success. While Dev is lauded as a hero, Neha is constantly put into the position of a victim, and while Ishwari treats Dev like a mature adult Neha is not much more than a petulant child to her. Everyone keeps going on about how much she has "tolerated, ""suffered," and "sacrificed," but they never really applaud publicly how much she has achieved, how much she has learned, and how clued in she is to the smallest things that happen in her household -- I will never forget her ferociously waving that knife in Khatri's face! This is the same Neha who has single-handedly raised both her sisters to be humble, hard-working (she's still working on Nikki 😆), and confident young women, and has given them a lot of the balance that she and Dev never had.
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But Dev, who knows so very little about the househld, gets the final call on important decisions regarding Ria and Nikki. He is not that much older than Neha, and this unequal, unfair distribution of authority really exposes Ishwari's inherent gender bias. Simply for being a man, and the breadwinner, Dev gets is annointed head of the household, and referred to as "bade" while Neha remains a "baccha." (How this negatively affected Dev is a matter for another post altogether!) It's no wonder that her heart is filled with bitterness towards the two of them, and harsh words are probably the only means she has to get them to listen to her and take her seriously. We see a completely different Neha with Ria and Nikki, calm, composed, without a bit of resentment... because they give her the respect she deserves.
I believe that Neha's true fear is not poverty itself, but yet again becoming someone who works tirelessly, all day-every day, with little recognition for what she does, and little respect for her opinions. I don't think she is fully congnizant of this distinction yet as drudgery and disrespect have been so closely associated in her life. Ishwari reinforces an unfair expectation every time she tells Neha to accept Ranveer exactly as he is, characterising her demands as selfish and therefore prioritising Ranveer's comfort and happiness over hers. That women should be ever-ready to sacrifice for the happiness of the man they love is the truth of Ishwari's generation, but Neha experiences have shaken that belief in her and she refused to give in to it. I am so glad Ranveer took the first step. I still maintain that she should have gone to him directly, instead of having Dev intervene surreptitiously, but I do also believe that she was afraid of losing him in a direct confrontation... what almost happened anyway. But in accepting this job and coming back even after their confrontation, Ranveer is not only fulfilling Neha's condition, but communicating to her that he values her vision for their future, and is willing to trust her with it.
Now that she doesn't have to fight tooth and nail for the respect and acknowledgment she craves, hopefully Neha will be able to see herself the way Ranveer sees her, as a strong, unshakeable force of nature, who can carry an entire household on her shoulders. It will take time, and probably won't be a smooth ride, because Neha is still very confused about her priorities and Ranveer is a proud, headstrong man, but this gesture paves the way for a relationship based on love and sympathy instead of calculation and pride.
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