A column - Page 25

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OH MY GOD!!! 😆 I'm on the list 😆

Shubs...that was so fun...thanks hun... 👏

Is Heeba also called Goldy or is it Dewani who is Goldy?

I wasn't expecting this girls.. Kyu kiya yeh..aakhir kyu? 😡

Originally posted by: michifanreal

Ok here is the real news.

The Mumbai police contacted FBI to trace the call. It turns out that the
mobile belongs to 7/8 people who identify themselves as..........


Panache, Chits, Deeps, Jessu, Rims,Yas and Heeba/Goldy

🤣

Opps I m on the list too...

Thankyou Shubs....It was fun.....

Shubs...Is dewaani ko log pyaar se Goldy kehte hain.... 😳

oops then its actually 8 people...
poor my mate.. caught between 8 girls bechara..
I hope you guys don't harm him...

Please uska khayal rakhna...

😭

Harm him...???... 😆 😆 😆 ...Well 😆 ...that depends whether or not he likes it... 😉

raat ho gayi.. meri mate ki koi khabar nahi aayi. He is caught between 7/8
girls. Bhagwan bacha lo use 😳

I went through all the 'khabr' u guys came up with and I thought each and everyone was simply hilarious not to mention brilliant.
Thus, I was encouraged to write one though it isn't anywhere nearly as funny or authentic as all yours are. So bear with me and please be kind....pretty please?

Kayamath Ki Side Effects

A mole told us at Khaber Kekta Ki Kahani Ke (K5), that BT's mini opus Kayamath has been causing rather dangerous side effects on its viewers and their families. So, we decided to visit the sets of this late night show to see what side effects it may have had on the cast and crew themselves.

The sets were a hive of activity when we arrived…we were told that the scene was being set up for a showdown bt Neev and Sukriti the pregnant sister of the male lead of the show. Furniture was being replaced by ladders , ropes and what not. We thought it wiser not to ask any questions and proceeded to track down some of the cast members first.

We spied Prachi Shah aka Premlata looking rather glum and went over to ask her what side effects she had experienced on the show. A very strange thing happened then. Her lips were moving but no words were issuing. Just then, the spot boy tapped us on the shoulders and said," Yeh kuch nehin bol sakti." On further enquiry, we were told that Ms Shah had forgotten how to articulate as she hadn't been given even a single word to utter for nearly two months now.

We left her to her misery and found Souwmya mooning into space. When she broke out of it after much prodding on our part, she told us the side effects she was experiencing was too delightful….Milind her jiju actually spoke to her….and not only that….. he even winked at her. "He's not done that to my didi even…..I 'm hoping that the next track would be Sali aadhi gharwali hai." She fell into a moon swoon right away and we left her to it.

Sukriti, we saw to our amusement, was trying to adjust a huge pillow under her dress…..when we asked her how she managed to conduct herself around the sets, she shrugged her shoulders and said it was no burden."Infact, it's the best thing that's happened to me, all that leaping behind furniture and rolling under beds is doing my weight a world of good..now I'm going to be climbing ladders and balancing on beams and hanging from ropes," explaining the paraphernalia we saw on our way in. " Saves me a lot of time and money gyming…besides, I get to keep fit on the sets itself."

Looking around for the much maligned script writer, Nagpal, we found him surrounded by several balls of discarded paper and scratching his bald head in utter confusion. He looked wildly at us and in a hoarse voice asked, "Can u help me come up with a track for today? You guys come across so many stories every day…. I've tried PIM, FONS, PA, AB(almost bigamy), AM (almost murder), ND (near divorce)….almost every intelligent storyline I could think of….but the trps are showing no improvement nothing pleases the viewers these days….so please help me…," he begged pathetically.

We ran from there before he could involve us further in his madness and came slap bang against a fair skinned stranger who looked as though he'd strayed into the sets by mistake. He caught hold of us in a death grip and pleaded, looking wild eyed and desperate," Can u show me the way out of this mad house? Since I got here, don't ask me how, they've grabbed hold of me, trussed me up like a turkey for basting and slapped the leading lady's garish pink lipstick on my mouth. As if my lips weren't pink enough! Hope they don't apply the orange eyeshadow that the old battle axe dadi wears. Then they tell me to put that a smirk on my face while looking at Prachi….now the woman thinks that I'm lusting after her!'

We patted his arm and made some soothing noises and got away…..only to bump into Baba and dadi who were exchanging notes on how to patao the young things on the set….BAba seemed particularly interested in the PYT who was parading about in a mithai pink uniform that did more to raise Baba's temperature than was good for his heart.

Prachi and Ayesha the two leading ladies of the show were seated together not far away…..Prachi laughed bitterly when we asked her what side effects she had experienced since the show began. "What side effects….talk abt fultoo effect…shall I tick them off on my fingers…a dislocated shoulder, a few missing teeth, blurry eyes from all that glycerine, bruised skin from constant manhandling, scratches from cheap wedding out fits, a burn here, a burn there….unstoppable sneezing from romancing in the rain,…..not to mention going cross -eyed with all those eyelocks with the hero and a permanent crick in the neck looking up at him…..do u know what my medicall biils have come up to in the past year?…and BT refuses to foot the bill…they call it Occupational Hazard!"

Ayesha on the other hand looked pretty cheerful….." I finally got to wear some decent blouses…. all those string bikini styled blouses were playing hell with my health….see how thin I've become ….everyone thinks I've become a size zero to please myself . What do they know ? How else could I have carried off those itsy bitsy thingummies otherwise? Thank God I'm turning positive soon…"

Just then, Neev, the second lead, walked up and we asked him the same question….."Side effects? Oh! I've been feeling that for a long time…….being sidelined for so long has affected my role so much that they've forgotten that I started out as the main hero here and now they've turned me into the main villain!"
We felt quite sorry for this sweet , much used…ummm, rather unused guy and went in search of our 6-footer hero, whose well built muscled body was the subject of many a woman's dreams…we cast our hungry eyes about for him and suddenly spied him sitting alone in a corner. When we approached him , he swiftly turned his face away.

That didn't surprise us as we knew he was a man of few words and was terribly shy around reporters. " Err….Shabbir," we probed tentatively. " Has the role u play left any interesting side effects in your life?"
"Side effects! " he leaned forward like a misguided missile. " I'll tell u all about side effects…..how do u think I feel , a hatta khatta a 6-footer , being pushed aside like so much thistledown by a 5 foot nothing woman who wants to be the hero of the show…I want to know …who's the hunk of this show…..me or her? I can't show my face anywhere….how can I promote my new movie now?" Tears gathered in his eyes. We were moved beyond words. " You know, I play one of the most wanted terrorists in the world. How can I ever be convincing when a pint- sized girl pushes me around not once but twice?!"
To our utter horror, he crumpled down onto the floor, sobbing like a baby.

We went back to K5 with a heavy heart and a newfound respect for all the soap stars of the show that brought kayamath not only to their viewers but also upon themselves every single day!

😆 pippa that was hilarious

i actually imagined shabbir sobbing like a baby but in the cradle of prachi's arms 😉 😆

best was prachi and her side effects 😆 😆 and ranvir too 😆