Those early days were no cakewalk:
I wasn't much of dreamer initially. I started dreaming only when my work started happening. When I was 16, all I thought about was eating good food, basically just relaxing. I was like this youngster who was looking to make around 20,000 a month, so that I could have a happy fun disco-pubbing lifestyle. When I was 18 we planned our venture. My dad said this is a big opportunity and put a lot of money in this company. That was in 1994 that we set up Balaji Telefilms. The company was losing money because I had made some pilots and they didn't go on air. My pilots were ok, not really amazing. My first six pilots were were not approved. Money got clogged. My dad's career at the time was not peaking, they were his last few acting years. Money was important to us and here I was losing more money. I kept telling myself 'What have I done? I'm not good for this. I'm not good for anything in life'.
First breakthrough:
I decided I had to do something. My mind used to constantly think of ideas. I used to think I'll tell it this way, I'll tell it that way. Sometimes I'd come up with concepts, sometimes with stories. I knew we had lost a lot of money. I had to do something and win back our money. So that was the time I had my first dream. I just wanted to get back 60 lakhs that had gone down and wanted to make a hit TV show. I always dreamt in installments. I never dreamt at that time that I would start a big company. I never even could dream of that. It was just too far. As I said I had so many ideas in my mind, every week I had a new idea. I had only two lakhs left. That's when we made Hum Paanch. Two channels vied for it and eventually it came on one of them. Hum Paanch was smooth sailing. By the eight or ninth episode it was a hit! Then three months later when Mano Ya Na Mano was aired even that was a big hit.
Turning point:
However, again my career slowed down for a long time. That's when I was hoping another show of mine would be on air. My friend Savree, now wife of Sameer Nair, met me. she told me her channel had big plans. She said if you can manage to make your show Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi popular and match its TRPs to your show Koshish Ek Aasha, Sameer will show you the stars. I remember I was walking up Tirupati and praying to God that Kyunki... becomes a hit. Of course the thought of its TRPs matching Koshish seemed impossible. But I was hoping. I was dreaming. I looked up to the skies and kept telling God 'Please please God if this show gets high TRPs I'll get a lot of work'. It happened! Kyunki... became a big hit. Dreams give you hope and if hope is alive, everything is alive. In 2000, I had this dream that we should have a foreign investor investing in the company. If that happened I knew I'd be able to make 7 to 8 shows at one time. When later we got foreign investors I was ecstatic. My dream had come true!
Support unlimited:
All this has been possible because of the support that I got. My mum, who took over with me when things were going bad in the company. My dad who gave us the initial investment and was the face of the company... mum and I at that time didn't look like people who could do the business! My brother Tusshar has been a constant support to me. Also, Kishen Premnarayan, my dad's friend, who at a time when I was not getting a chance to make any inroads in the industry gave me a lot of help. Adhikari brothers who actually shot, after being producers themselves, for me because they are my dad's friends. They actually directed an episode of Mano Ya Na Mano for me which could be aired. That time there was this kind of camaraderie in the industry among producers. I credit my friends, my family and of course my team. There are four others I'd like to mention. Subhash Goel who gave me my first big break. And eventually Kunal Dasgupta, Sameer Nair and Shailaja Kejriwal.
Future Dreams:
My dreams have always been work-related. They have always been achievable. I wouldn't cry if they didn't happen. But I believe in striving hard to achieve them. Once I have a set of dreams before me, I don't look beyond them. I try to reach these dreams, make them reality and then move on to the next set of dreams. As far as my future plans go, currently we are making software in Indonesia and Dubai, but I want them to become as big as our Mumbai office. We are
starting a South channel soon. I want us to become big in events and reality TV. This is one set of dreams. The next set which, of course, I'll take up after these, is international presence of Indian television, have Latin American tie-ups, make Hollywood films. I dream of making a company which is creatively independent with the best creative talent in the country all housed under one banner (smiles).
Coping with insecurities:
I believe that anything that goes up has to come down. But I always remember what my dad said: 'This too shall pass'. Good, bad, ugly...everything will pass. Although these are strong logics when things happen to you they do affect you. But life is afterall a lot of experiences put into one. Any kind of shakeup is an experience that you will cherish all your life. As far as insecurity goes, I am quite insecure as a person. My insecurity fuels a sense of determination, a sense of passion and that passion is what takes you forward. I try to work on my insecurities and make it work for me. The base is insecurity!
