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Telly TALK
Will the real man please stand up?
Wimp or steelwilled? Strong or just smarmy? Does television portray real men or just figments of someone's imagination, wonders
Abha Srivastava
TIMES NEWS NETWORK
Rishabh Bajaj in
Kasautii Zindagii Kay
Kasautii Zindagii Kay
TELEVISION serials have spawned a new generation of saas-bahus, sisters-in-law, daughters and an ever-increasing tribe of extended families. Women want to be like the tenacious Tulsi, the pure Parvati and the brave Bani. Woman power is on a roll...
But whatever happened to the men? They are slotted either into Kamal of Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii category who's never got his due or that of Jai Walia in Kasamh Se, who loses all semblance of sanity, thanks to his manipulative sister. And, of course, there's Anurag of Kasautii Zindagii Kay, who stands by while his life is governed by women who flutter in and out of the serial.
So, who's the real man in real life? The mute wimp who doesn't really have a say or the Angad-like rockstar, who lives life on his own terms, much like Mr Bajaj of Kasautii Zindagii Kay? Says soap queen Ekta Kapoor, "Television is about women and for women. They are the protagonists and the antagonists. In reality too, men usually like to be left out of kitchen politics. They don't like to interfere as that'll force them to choose between mother and wife. In traditional Indian families, men are like that, so serials which portray such a family depict that reality. However, there are strong men like Angad too."
Even the positive characters come across as caricatures, a bit like Om of Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii, who at best had a supporting role next to Parvati and didn't initiate anything radical on his own.
Answers columnist Anil Dharker, "Serials are an accurate description of a traditional society, not a changing milieu. In traditional Indian society, men have been consistently weak. They've been mollycoddled and have grown up as spoilt young men who've never taken any decisions. Even in adulthood, the choice of career and that of a marriage partner – in that kind of a society – is a parental decision."
Then how does one explain a character like Angad, with a girl on each arm and a guitar strung around his shoulders? Explains Dharker, "Yes, young men are appearing to be 'modern' or adults with thinking power. But only superficially. The intrinsic nature of man hasn't changed even now. That would explain why these young guns ditch their years old college girlfriends and settle down with a partner of their parents' choice." So is the real man someone who insists that his wife starve and observe karva chauth for him while he happily smells the roses with the curvaceous vamp? Tarot card reader and show host, Sunita Menon, who meets dozens of people by virtue of her profession, feels that men in real life are generally not wimps, but circumstances make them behave thus. She adds, "I don't think they are as weak as portrayed on TV. However, most men cannot remain monogamous, so they go through wimpish phases in life when they are cheating, due to the guilt they undergo." That would explain the woebegone look on Abhimanyu's face (in Astitva – Ek Prem Kahani) for a major part of the show as he cut a sorry figure of a boyfriend to more than one woman!
Affairs of the heart, or matter of the brain, the boardroom or the bedroom, men seem to be coming in as second best in Indian serials, though perhaps just in the traditional ones. There's bravado and machismo at one level and sheer meekness on the other. Strength on the one hand and the sari pallu in the other. So what gives? Dr Harish Shetty, Mumbaibased psychiatrist has the last word, "Men are wimps at some level, but so are women. And these serials portray the unmet aspirations of women. As they can't make men cry in real life, they take great pleasure in seeing them cry at least on screen!" That may just explain the misery etched on most reel men's faces…
Angad Khanna in
Kaisa Ye Pyaar Hai
Kaisa Ye Pyaar Hai
Kamal in
Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii
Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii
Parvati in
Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii
Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii
Jai Walia in Kasamh Se
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
