Posted:
padho, haaso aur mauj manao...its TGF
One for me One for you
There was a huge nut tree by the cremation ghat. One day JW and Nattu as boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said JW. The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the ghat.
Cycling down the road by the ghat was AD. As AD passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cremation ground. AD slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you." AD knew what it was. "Oh my god!" he shuddered, "It's Yamraj and Indra Bhagwan dividing the souls of the dead!"
AD cycled down the road and found an old pandit with a cane, hobbling along. "Come quick!" he said, "You won't believe what I heard. Yamraj and Indra Bhagwanare down at the ghat dividing the souls."
The pandit said, "Shoo, you brat! Can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is!" After several pleas, the pandit hobbled to the ghat and heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one..." The old pandit whispered, "Boy, you's been tellin' the truth! Let's see if we can see the Yamraj himself."
Shivering with fear, they edged inside the ghat, still unable to see anything, but they heard JW say, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
They say the old pandit made it to town 10 minutes before AD!
_________________________________________
Bad Memories
Bani and Jai had grown older in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They found it beneficial to write things down so as not to forget them.
One evening they were sitting in the garden and Jai said, "Bani, be a dear and go to the kitchen and fix me a dish of ice cream and put some chocolate syrup and peanuts on it. And, Bani, write it down so you don't forget the peanuts."
"That's a good idea, Dear." Bani said, and wrote it on the notepad and headed for the kitchen.
Bsni was in the kitchen for a while, and returned with a plate of paratha and dahi. Jai looked at it and said, "Oh Bani, you forgot I can't eat parathas go and get my breakfast toast and orange juice."
_________________________________________
Getting On
AD and JW are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
AD turns and asks, "Do you still get you know...?"
JW scratched his thinning hair, "What do you mean AD...get what?
AD poking at his dentures, "You know when you see Bani...like..."
JW grinned and his eyes twinkeled, "Oh sure I do."
AD asks, "What do you do about it?"
JW replies winking at AD, "I sneak into the bathroom."
After a few moments, AD asks, "Why go in the bathroom?"
_________________________________________
Doctor's Advice
A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year old patients JW with his very beautiful, young wife Bani on his arm. He was looking the happiest he had ever seen him. When JW noticed the doctor he went up to him and said, "Well Doc. I took your advice and look at me." Puzzled, the doctor asked what the advice was.
"You told me to get a hot Mama and be very cheerful," he replied.
"Oh no. I told you that you had got a heart murmur and to be very careful."
JW looked at his wife and beamed at her, "See Bani I told you this doctor is very good. Now let's see what the doctor can do about your headaches."
_________________________________________
Bribes...
JW and Bani in their old age, were sitting alone in the porch of their home one evening.
JW looked over his rimmed glasses and said to Bani, "I know just what you're wanting, and that too right over there in that rocking chair."
Bani looked surprised but didn't say a word.
JW continued, "For one aloo paratha I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for two aloo parathas I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."
Bani still says nothing but after a couple minutes, goes into the kitchen and comes back with a plate full of hot aloo parathas. She puts it in front of his and smiles at him
"So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says JW.
"Get serious", Bani replies. "I want to full use of my rocking chair!"
One for me One for you
There was a huge nut tree by the cremation ghat. One day JW and Nattu as boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said JW. The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the ghat.
Cycling down the road by the ghat was AD. As AD passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cremation ground. AD slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you." AD knew what it was. "Oh my god!" he shuddered, "It's Yamraj and Indra Bhagwan dividing the souls of the dead!"
AD cycled down the road and found an old pandit with a cane, hobbling along. "Come quick!" he said, "You won't believe what I heard. Yamraj and Indra Bhagwanare down at the ghat dividing the souls."
The pandit said, "Shoo, you brat! Can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is!" After several pleas, the pandit hobbled to the ghat and heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one..." The old pandit whispered, "Boy, you's been tellin' the truth! Let's see if we can see the Yamraj himself."
Shivering with fear, they edged inside the ghat, still unable to see anything, but they heard JW say, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
They say the old pandit made it to town 10 minutes before AD!
_________________________________________
Bad Memories
Bani and Jai had grown older in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They found it beneficial to write things down so as not to forget them.
One evening they were sitting in the garden and Jai said, "Bani, be a dear and go to the kitchen and fix me a dish of ice cream and put some chocolate syrup and peanuts on it. And, Bani, write it down so you don't forget the peanuts."
"That's a good idea, Dear." Bani said, and wrote it on the notepad and headed for the kitchen.
Bsni was in the kitchen for a while, and returned with a plate of paratha and dahi. Jai looked at it and said, "Oh Bani, you forgot I can't eat parathas go and get my breakfast toast and orange juice."
_________________________________________
Getting On
AD and JW are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
AD turns and asks, "Do you still get you know...?"
JW scratched his thinning hair, "What do you mean AD...get what?
AD poking at his dentures, "You know when you see Bani...like..."
JW grinned and his eyes twinkeled, "Oh sure I do."
AD asks, "What do you do about it?"
JW replies winking at AD, "I sneak into the bathroom."
After a few moments, AD asks, "Why go in the bathroom?"
_________________________________________
Doctor's Advice
A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year old patients JW with his very beautiful, young wife Bani on his arm. He was looking the happiest he had ever seen him. When JW noticed the doctor he went up to him and said, "Well Doc. I took your advice and look at me." Puzzled, the doctor asked what the advice was.
"You told me to get a hot Mama and be very cheerful," he replied.
"Oh no. I told you that you had got a heart murmur and to be very careful."
JW looked at his wife and beamed at her, "See Bani I told you this doctor is very good. Now let's see what the doctor can do about your headaches."
_________________________________________
Bribes...
JW and Bani in their old age, were sitting alone in the porch of their home one evening.
JW looked over his rimmed glasses and said to Bani, "I know just what you're wanting, and that too right over there in that rocking chair."
Bani looked surprised but didn't say a word.
JW continued, "For one aloo paratha I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for two aloo parathas I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."
Bani still says nothing but after a couple minutes, goes into the kitchen and comes back with a plate full of hot aloo parathas. She puts it in front of his and smiles at him
"So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says JW.
"Get serious", Bani replies. "I want to full use of my rocking chair!"
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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