Entry No. 10

Chapter1
Kolkata , November1999
Two open jeeps screeched to a halt outside the Caf Coffee Day outlet on Ballygunge Circular Road. It was 11 at night and the shop staff were getting ready to down shutters. Seeing the gaggle of youngsters, the outlet manager gestured to his staff to delay the shutting. The disgruntled employees watched with tired eyes as the obviously affluent, rowdy group swaggered in and began placing their orders. There were three young men, and by their style of dressing and the flourishing of branded accessories it was obvious that these were the scions of families from the higher echelons of Kolkata society. The boys were accompanied by three pretty girls, all of whom looked too young to be out so late. But in the course of their work, the servers had seen it all, so they watched with exaggerated disinterest as the girls went from one lap to another. "Youngsters nowadays , I tell you!! Its all a case of too much too soon", the coffee maker muttered sotto voce to his assistant, waiting patiently behind with cups and saucers.
One of the boys seemed to be the ringleader of the group, with all the others deferring to him and laughing at all his jokes. He was devastatingly good looking, well built and had a careless confidence that sat well on his youthful shoulders. All the girls were fluttering their eyelashes at him, vying for his attention and he straddled his chair with a seemingly casual acceptance of their attention and his own charismatic appeal. As he laughed and flirted, one of the attendants asked the coffee shop manager who he was." Oh that's Jai Walia, son of the prominent Walia Industries owner, Uday Walia, the Man accredited with the Industrial Renaissance of Bengal, he's a regular here, but changes girlfriends more often than he changes his clothes, a real Casanova.".
The doorbell pinged announcing yet another arrival. A little podgy boy bounded in asking if it was too late for him to order a sizzling brownie with a double scoop of vanilla ice cream." Well as you can see we're still serving" said the resigned attendant.
"Yeah, lemme go get Dids" and he stuck his head out of the door and shouted " Come on in". Coming back he perched happily on a high barstool drumming his fingers on the table, licking his lips in anticipation. The door pinged again as a young woman walked in. Dressed simply in blue denim cut offs and a white tee, she immediately attracted attention. Long blue black hair was pulled back in a French braid, accentuating the graceful sweep of her neck. She was tall with the confident gait of a sportsperson, but it was her face which was arresting. No one feature was particularly special, yet the total effect of grey eyes, rosy lips framed by the profusion of tendrils escaping the confines of her braid, was breathtaking. Hers was not a conventional beauty, yet there was something that made it hard to tear oneself away from looking at her. She loped in with the grace of a gazelle and perched daintily on a stool opposite the little podgy boy.
For an instant there was a lull in the racket emanating from the other occupied table, which was broken by a shrill high pitched giggle from one of the girls. The little boy and his sister were soon quite engrossed in slurping up the rapidly melting dessert before them, interspersed by animated bursts of chatter from the little fellow. But one pair of eyes was looking at the"Dids" with a predatory gleam. His friends recognizing the familiar look began sniggering. It was obvious that the lady killer was going to make a move. With a swift practiced gesture, Jai pushed himself away from his previous indolent stance and moved towards the table where the twosome were sharing their dessert with unabashed glee. The young boy became aware of him at first and nudged his sister. She turned around and grey eyes met with coal black. For an infinitesimal moment it seemed to the two of them as though the world had shifted on its axis. A raucous laugh roused them both back to reality. Jai reached his long arm around her, just lightly brushing his muscled forearm against her back, picking up a few paper napkins from the dispenser on the table. With it he gently dabbed at her nose, wiping off her vanilla moustache. Looking into her wary eyes, he whispered " I'm jealous of the ice cream. By the way the name is Walia, Jai Walia". The girl looked bemused when a truculent voice piped up " We're not supposed to talk to strangers". Jai turned around to see a pint sized protector glowering at him. "But I'm no stranger, I just told you my name. Which means now you know me. In fact since I don't know your names you are the strangers".
" I'm Kunal and this is .."
" That's enough, we need to leave now", the girl spoke up in a voice that brooked no resistance.
Jai moved close enough for her to feel the heat emanating from him and drawled softly with a wicked grin " Chicken!!"
The girl's eyes flashed her ire but she chose to ignore his leading comment shunting her brother towards the door. Jai turned to go but saw something white flutter to the floor out of the corner of his eye. It was one of the napkins from the dispenser and on it was boldly written with red lipstick ' Catch Me If You Can'. Stunned he looked up to see her exiting the coffee bar and just as the door was swinging shut, she popped her head back in and gave him a barely perceptible wink. For a second Jai stood immobilized as his friends who did not witness this intriguing by play, roared with laughter at his loss of face, hooting " What happened, Walia losing your touch". But they were shocked into silence when Jai with a war whoop jumped over the chairs and raced out of the bar. They were left looking astounded as they looked out through the plate glass faade to see Jai reversing his four wheel drive and racing off. " Where did Jai go, I thought he was going to dance with me at Venom( a popular nightclub in Kolkata)", whined one of the girls. One of Jai's friends put his arm around her and said " Darling you'll have to make do with me for the time being".
Jai drove fast but with perfect control following the winking red taillights of the girl's car a little ahead of him He didn't know what game the girl was playing, but his hunting instincts were aroused and he was intrigued to see where it was going. " She drives really well." he thought . Like most men Jai's opinion of the driving skills of the female of the species was low and that was putting it politely. But the girl adroitly negotiated bends and turns and Jai was hard pressed keeping up with her. It was a long drive at night and Jai was finally thinking of giving up the chase when he saw the scrolled gates of the posh Alipore Residency open and the girl's car roar up the drive. He slowed his car to a halt and watched the gates close behind her car. " Godammit", he yelled and slammed his hand against the steering wheel in frustration.
Chapter 2
It was a beautiful afternoon at the manicured lawns of the Tollygunge Club. Built by the British, it was modelled on the lines of the typical British country club. Membership was for the privileged and the club prided itself on the exclusivity of its member list. Offering a full 18 hole golf gourse, a golf driving range, squash, tennis, horseriding and swimming along with a plethora of other facilities, being a member of Tollygunge Club meant you had arrived on the social circuit of Kolkata. At the riding ring a brown stallion was being taken through its paces over the double and triple bars by Jai, while a group of onlookers, mostly girls, oohed and aahed over every flawless jump and turn. Finishing his practice session, Jai cantered back to the stables, moving fluidly so much so that it seemed as though the man was one with the horse. Aware of the picture he presented to his awestruck audience, Jai slid off the horse and handed it over to the groom for its rub down, After a few words with the riding instructor about the upcoming equestrian inter club meet . Jai left the stables pausing only to remove his hard helmet and wiping the sweat that had collected on his forehead. Though it was slowly moving towards winter in Calcutta, the weather was still unnaturally warm during the day.
Thinking about a leisurely swim Jai strode towards the swimming pool where he knew the rest of his gang of friends would be waiting. Briefly he paused at the tennis courts to watch a girl in brief white tennis shorts smash an expert serve across the net to a hapless instructor. He screwed up his eyes against the sun which was shining into his eyes because something about her gait seemed a little familiar. He watched her lithe body dance about the court for a couple of seconds more before the trickle of sweat reminded him of the cool beer he'd intended to have as well as his swim.
After meeting with his friends, Raghav and Boney, Jai took a long swig of his beer holding the cool bottle to his sweaty forehead. Suddenly a pair of arms draped themselves around him and a breathless voice whispered in his ear " Is horse riding the only kind of riding you like?". Jai turned and pulled the girl behind him into his lap. " Hi Tina. Don't ever creep up on me like that." Bestowing a casual kiss on her pouting lips Jai whispered " I'm a fantastic riding coach and over this weekend I'll give you a demo". Pretending to be affronted Tina was struggling to climb off his lap when she heard Jai draw his breath in sharply. She turned to see Jai staring at a girl wearing tennis clothes entering the pool changing rooms. All but heaving Tina off his lap, Jai set his bottle of beer down and drawled ' Sorry guys, need to cool down" And left in the direction of the men's changing rooms.
"What on earth happened?? Jai is either blowing hot or cold" exclaimed Tina in a huff.
" Actually he's seen someone " said Raghav with a knowing wink. Tina's face turned hard as she realized what they were talking about.
In the Ladies Changing room, the girl Jai had pursued home unsuccessfully, was tucking her hair into a swimming cap. Clad in a simple black costume she looked the epitome of toned youth and classic good looks. 'Bani, beta, how is your Mother?" She turned to see one of her mother's golfing friends Tara Halwasiya, bearing down upon her. Forced to stand and make small talk, Bani was getting increasingly impatient after her lengthy tennis session to hit the waters of the pool. After a few minutes of desultory chatting, thankfully another of Tara Aunty's friends entered the changing room and Bani gratefully made her escape. Pushing the swing doors open Bani paused for a second on the edge of the pool before executing a graceful shallow dive into the refreshing blueness. Her arms moved expertly as she cut through the waters with the practiced ease of a confident swimmer. As she came to the wall under the diving board at the deep end of the pool which was relatively less crowded than the shallow side Bani stopped for a breather. Closing her eyes she leaned her head against the wall regulating her breathing when she felt a warm body and a pair of muscular smoothly tanned arms surround her. She gave a small squeak but the person had her pinned to the wall and Bani was unable to push him away. She was shocked into an electrifying awareness of a hair roughened chest touching her bare back for the first time and a tingle of a hitherto unnamed feeling jolted her into instant awareness.
" Caught you", whispered a strangely familiar voice and Bani pushed herself away with a strong shove only to find herself facing her assailant . It was the guy from the coffee shop and immediate recognition flared in her eyes. " You didn't tell me your name and made me chase you all across town the other day." Jai rasped into her ear enjoying the feel of her lush young curves pressed up against his masculine angularity. Wide grey eyes looked into his and for a few brief minutes all the sounds of the splashing youngsters in the pool faded away. It seemed as though the two of them were totally alone, feeling the warmth of each other's breath for the first time. "..ni", Jai heard a shy voice reply.
" What?? I didn't get that?" Jai looked perplexed..
" Bani" she said and this time Jai heard her name loud and clear. " Perfect…. like the chime of a bell", Jai said, surprised at his own sudden poetic streak." Well now that you've caught me, what do you plan to do?" asked Bani in a very soft voice. " There are so many possibilities…." and Jai's voice trailed off as he tugged her even closer. With just the barrier of their swimsuits covering them both Bani and Jai were achingly aware of their physical proximity and Bani was rendered immobile, in the grip of a fascination with this guy with lazy eyes that looked at her as though she were the only female on his planet. " JAIIII', yelled out a shrill feminine voice and broke the spell that had woven itself around the two of them.
Bani seemed to jerk herself out of her trance and was roughly brought back to the present by the loud shouting of the youngsters playing Marco Polo in the pool. With a hefty shove she pushed Jai away and swam briskly away from him, getting out at the changing room entrance. As she shrugged into a toweling robe she glanced back briefly at Jai and even through the distance their gazes connected and held for an instant. Then she pushed open the door and disappeared from sight.
" Bani, Bani, Bani…" mused Jai to himself. " I like the name" as he pulled himself out of the water and began rubbing at the droplets of water traversing their way across his chest. " Whose Bani, now?" asked a visibly irritated Tina, who'd been waiting impatiently for Jai. " Yaar, samjha kar, she's the flavour of the month" and Jai's friends began hooting with laughter.
" But Jai its New Year's next month and you promised that you would bring me to the club dance this year," said Tina.
" My dear Tina" said Boney, " New Year's is a month away and we are speaking of the Jai Walia who changes girls every week. So don't worry, it'll all be over by then. Isn't that so Jai?" and Boney turned Tina to face Jai winking suggestively at him.
Jai looked at his friends with a lazy smile and said "New Year's is too much time, how about till Christmas?"
" For what?' chorused the boys in tandem. Jai slung his towel over his shoulder and gulped down the rest of his half finished beer grimacing at its warmth. He walked two steps and looked back at their agog faces and said" You know what, do I need to spell it out!" and with a salute walked to the mens.
Tweaking his earring Boney said " Some guys have all the luck."
Raghav promptly opened a bottle of beer and handing it to Boney said " Chal chor na, yeh toh hamesha hota rehta hain. Lets begin our usual game of betting to see how fast the score is made, I bet 5000 bucks, that Jai will finish the job by Christmas Eve as he said."
" Nahi yaar, last timeI lost my 5000, giving him too much time. This is November right, chal will give him till 15th December. After all Jai is a fast mover" said Boney.
" Done" and both the boys glugged down the rest of the bottle of beer to seal the deal.
" You guys are the pits , but sometimes I do feel sorry for Jai's conquests", sniggered Tina.
" Tina, you and sorry" and both the boys began laughing uproariously as Tina watched them with a speculative smirk on her face.
Chapter Three
The next few days passed in a flurry of activity for Jai and Bani. Once he homed in on the girl of his choice, Jai left no stone unturned to woo her and woo Bani he did in style. She was naturally reserved and had led a protected life and Jai was the first boy she had allowed past her guard. There was something about him that felt so right and whenever Bani was with him it was she felt so cherished and cosseted. Jai was mindful of her every whim making her feel like a princess and all this was quite heady for the young girl unschooled in the ways of men. To his surprise Jai unwittingly began to really enjoy Bani's company. Her wide eyed innocence, her naivete when it came to the man woman equation, her unabashed enjoyment of simple pleasures, all of this was like a breath of fresh air for the Jai Walia who was glutted with women throwing themselves at him. His jaded world view was washed clean by the simplicity and purity of Bani's vision of life.
After the encounter at the swimming pool Jai found out that Bani was a daily tennis player from the tennis court ballboys. A few tenners enabled him to find out her timings and thereafter whenever Bani came off court after her practice session, she found Jai lounging indolently against the wall waiting for her. The shared coffees soon stretched into long conversations and to his surprise Jai found out that Bani was an eclectic reader who was abreast of current events. Their conversations ranged from music to films, books to sports and once Jai even found himself explaining the workings of the share market to her. She was bright and beautiful, totally unimpressed by his wealth or social stature and Jai found her enchanting. Yet inspite of all the time spent together, Bani was very shy and did not allow Jai to go any further than a light peck on the cheek. And for once Jai did not get impatient. He was aware that Bani's father Rajaram Dixit was a renowned painter who not only had social standing but immense wealth as well and that Bani his only daughter was the protected apple of her father's eye. But Rajaram was known to be a possessive father and one with a violent temper as well, and Bani inspite of loving her father was afraid of him. Their meetings were clandestine and the secrecy added to their urgency to meet each other daily. It became so intense that a day without talking to Bani became the day when Jai was a grouch. They held hands, they talked endlessly and the days flew by.It seemed as though the two of them were encapsulated in a shining bubble which shut out the rest of the world.
" Hello" Bani spoke in a groggy voice. She turned around and scrunched up her face trying to read her watch dial in her semi darkened bedroom. It was 4:30 a.m. She looked back at her phone to see Jai's name flashing. She sat up with a start. It was an unearthly hour by his standards ' What's happened, Jai is everything okay, are you unwell, are your parents fine…"
" Whoa, hold on" Jai's baritone interrupted her barrage of questions." Nothing is wrong. Its just that I've been up all night unable to sleep"
" I knew it" burst out Bani," all that working out is not good for the system".
" It's not the workout. Its you" said Jai.
" Me?? What did I do? I did meet you yesterday, didn't I and today I'll see you after tennis as well" replied a perplexed Bani.
" Bani, tennis is in the afternoon and I haven't slept all night thinking of you. I need to see you right now"
" Now Jai, but its so early in the morning what will I tell them at home?"
" I don't care, tell them a friend has an emergency, tell them you've got an assignment on Kolkata at Dawn, tell them you have an uncontrollable urge to jog, tell them anything but I'm coming to pick you up in 15 minutes outside your house with a surprise gift, and if I don't see you I'm coming in."
" Jai, wait, Jai you can't.." the burr of the dialtone told Bani that her imperious boyfriend had hung up on her. Muttering under her breath Bani changed out of her nightdress into a well worn tracksuit. She popped her head out of her bedroom door to see the Dixit house shrouded in slumber. Leaving a hastily scribbled chit propped on the sideboard that said "Gone for a jog" Bani quietly let herself out of the door. It was still not quite light and the first pink streaks of dawn were just spreading across the sky. Even the sleepy watchman at the gate of the posh condominium complex was surprised to see the young girl up so early. Bani jogged down the drive and turned onto the main road. There was no sign of Jai. " God I don't believe he woke me up and didn't get here" she huffed ," Oh well since I'm up might as well jog a bit" With quick sprightly steps Bani began jogging enjoying the feel of the cool early morning breeze blowing on her face. Suddenly she heard the hum of a powerful engine behind her. Turning she saw Jai's black Pajero practically glued to her bottom. " Jai!!" She squeaked " When did you come, I didn't see you when I came out"
" You wouldn't have seen me coz I was behind you. Besides the view was so fascinating I couldn't tear my eyes away"
" View, what view…." Bani's voice trailed away and she ducked her face and blushed as Jai's meaning got through to her.
Jai laughed and gently put his hand under her chin raising her face to look into her eyes deeply. " Bani don't feel shy, you are so beautiful, I can spend hours just looking at you"
At that Bani blushed even more as Jai chuckled and engaged gears.
" Where are we going and where's my surprise?" asked Bani
" We're just driving around and your surprise is right here" and Jai pulled out a warm brown paper bag from beside him. A heavenly aroma wafted from it and Bani squealed in childish delight as she reached in " Hot cinnamon rolls, Jai you are an angel"
" Well I've been called many things before, but angel is not one of them" said Jai looking indulgently at Bani who was wolfing down her first roll. He reached out and gently brushed off a dab of powdered sugar smeared across her nose before carrying the finger to his mouth and sucking off the sugar. The merriment faded away from Bani's eyes to be replaced by a new and disturbing awareness. She lowered her lashes but was not quick enough to avoid Jai's discerning look which realized the moment Bani became aware of the fact that she was alone with him , cocooned in the luxury of his car with tinted glass windows keeping prying eyes out. In all their previous meetings, Jai and Bani had always been surrounded by lots of other people, this was the first time they were completely alone. Jai gently tucked the hair that had escaped her braid behind her ears. To fill in the lull in the conversation Bani held out the bag of rolls to Jai but Jai slowly shook his head. Wide eyed Bani watched Jai curve a hand behind her neck to bring her close to him. Like a doe caught wide eyed in the glare of headlights Bani looked at Jai with a curious blend of desire and bashfulness in her eyes as he gently lowered his lips on hers. It was her first kiss and strangely enough Jai felt as though it was the first time he had ever kissed a girl.
A veteran of many torrid smooches, Jai was nonetheless caught totally off guard by the feeling of bliss kissing Bani. Her eyes closed as she sighed and gently brought up trembling hands to cup his face. It was a long and leisurely exploration as Jai gently led the way showing an untutored Bani the pleasures of her first kiss. He nibbled at her lips outlining their rosy contours with his warm tongue and as Bani gasped at the strange feeling Jai began kissing her in earnest. Both of them were lost in a world of their own where no one existed but each other. Bani threaded her hands through his hair as Jai groaned with the effort to keep his unbridled passion in check. Again and again Jai slanted his lips against hers , pulling her tightly into his embrace. It seemed as though the two of them were melded into a single entity. A persistent buzzing rudely jolted both of them out of the sensual haze and Bani realized her mobile was ringing. Seeing 'Papa" flashing she pushed Jai frantically away, almost as though her father was physically present. " Yes Papa" Bani said " Well I was out jogging…. Okay I'm heading back"
" Jai I have to go back , Papa was upset to wake up and not see me" Bani said biting her lip.
" Bani I wish we didn't have to sneak around like thieves, why can't you tell your Papa about us?"
" Jai you don't know him… he goes ballistic with regard to me. Anyway lets go home now" Bano quickly straightened her clothes that had become twisted due to Jai's questing hands, patting her hair into place." Do I look alright?" She asked Jai with a worried look.
" Bani you always look great but we do have unfinished business" Jai said with a meaningful look at her.
" Jai about what happened…." Bani was shushed by Jai's finger on her lips.
" Bani it was meant to happen and I don't regret it one bit. Do you??" Jai asked..
" No of course not, but…."
" That's enough for now Bani, we'll meet later today".
Jai parked a little way away from her complex to keep the watchman from seeing Bani alight from his car. As she turned to leave, Jai reached out and dropped a quick kiss on her parted lips. Touching her fingers to her lips Bani asked him" What was that for??"
" You are mine Bani. I was just staking my claim, now go or I'll drive off with you"
At that Bani quickly hopped out of the car and waved her hand at him. As Jai drove off Bani looked with wondrous eyes at the world around her. It was the same familiar environs she'd seen a couple of hours back but now everything seemed imbued with brighter colours, defined by sharper outlines. A bubble of happiness seemed to well up in Bani and she was hard put not to keep grinning like a fool. Was this love, a hitherto alien feeling, but one that seemed so uplifting. Bani wanted to scream at the top of her voice, she wanted to dance like a whirling dervish, she wanted to sing , she wanted to hug total strangers, she wanted to weep at the profundity of the emotion. Jai occupied all her thoughts and she wanted to spend all her waking moments with him. Was it the kiss that had propelled her into womanhood, or was the kiss simply a catalyst rousing her to the truth of an emotion that she had kept buried within her. Bani didn't know and she simply didn't care. She hugged the newness of her discovery to herself as she walked in a bemused daze up her drive. Her phone buzzed again and Bani smiled to see 'Jai' flashing.
" Thinking of me?? Coz I'm thinking of you" Jai whispered in her ear.
" Jai you just left" Bani reminded him.
" I miss you already" Jai growled
" Jai I think.." Bani whispered
" What??" Jai asked with an air of expectancy.
" Jai I'm in love with you" and Bani quickly switched off her phone not giving him the chance to react.
In his car Jai dialed his friend Boney. " Kya yaar Jai itni subah subah" Boney grumbled
" Just to tell you guys keep the money ready I'm right on schedule" Jai said with a satisfied smile playing on his lips. " Next week Miss Bani Dixit will no longer be a virginal miss.".
Chapter 4
December 12th, Tollygunge Club.
In a balmy warmth of the Kolkata winter sunshine, Jai waited impatiently for Bani to finish playing her game of tennis. Inspite of his impatience Jai was unable to keep his eyes away from her lithe figure dashing all over the court. As she finished and came towards him Bani was for the first time surprised to see Jai scowling at her.
" What's up, why're you looking so grumpy?" quizzed Bani.
Jai did not reply and merely grabbed her hand tightly steering her towards the car park." Jai let go, I can't keep up, Jai where are we going, I can't leave Kunal alone in the club, he's gone for golfing lessons.. Jai…" But Jai just kept going till he bundled Bani into his car and getting in, without any warning hauled her into his arms and began kissing her hungrily." Jai stop, please stop…" Bani kept pushing at him ineffectually but Jai was in the throes of an uncontrollable passion that made him deaf to her pleas. Finally Bani drew back her hand and gave him a mighty slap. Dazed Jai looked at her, trembling with the force of her feelings as he realized that not only had Bani not responded, she had rebuffed him.
" What happened Bani, today morning you were so responsive and you said that you love me. I love you too and I just wanted to show you how much. Its just that it seemed as if this moment was taking forever to come and…" Jai's voice trailed away as he felt Bani's small hand rise up and caress the reddened spot on his cheek she'd caused.
" I'm sorry Jai, but I was afraid, I'm not, I mean I've never .." as she fumbled for words Jai gently wrapped his arms about her and Bani rested against his chest listening to the thundering of his heartbeat. " Jai.."
" Sshh, Bani just listen to what you do to me.." and the two of them remained like that as the lengthy shadows of a winter dusk gradually shrouded the car park.
" Jai I need to go , Kunal will be looking for me" Bani said in a voice muffled by her face being pressed into his chest.
" Bani can I ask you something?"
" Of course Jai"
" That day at the coffee bar what made you drop the chit? I mean now that I know you, it seems such a contradiction."
" Jai , you seemed the typical overconfident alpha male and I had this irresistible urge to prick your bubble of confidence" Bani replied with a saucy twinkle in her eye.
" Bani you are a minx. Can I ask you something else?"
" Jai I really need to go. Okay last one." Bani said with a resigned smile.
" Bani will you do me the honour of being my date for the pre Christmas club ball? That is the day after tomorrow"
" But Jai, Papa has never allowed me. He says I'm too young"
" Does he now? But does he know you can drive your boyfriend wild by simply a glance, a touch. Then he won't think you are too young"
Bani burst out giggling " Jai you are the dizzy limit. How on earth do you expect my Papa to know all that!! Okay I'll try to get permission but will probably have to do some serious fibbing and will have to get home in a couple of hours. Is that fine with you?"
Jai traced the bluish veins at her temple causing Bani to shiver with delight and said " Don't worry honey a couple of hours will be enough for the celebration I had in mind."
" Celebration, what celebration?" A puzzled Bani asked.
" Bani we'll be celebrating falling in love with each other, we'll be celebrating our commitment to each other"
" What are you saying Jai, I'm not sure I understand"
" Bani I'll explain everything to you two days from now and it'll be a memory that you'll cherish forever. Now scoot before Kunal sees you emerging from a stranger's car"
As Bani left, Jai thought about the clockwork precision of his modus operandi yet somehow this time he did not feel the elation that normally preceded a successful seduction. Somehow Bani's untouched innocence had managed to pierce the armor Jai had erected around his heart and this feeling of vulnerability was a new one for him. This time he didn't really want to love her and leave her, he wanted to explore more of the feelings Bani excited in him. But the die was cast, the wheels had been set in motion and all his friends were awaiting his news. The reputation of the 'lady killer' was at stake and Jai was never one to back down from a challenge.
Chapter 5
December 16th, The Tollygunge Club Pre Christmas Ball
A long line of cars were snaking into the premises of the most happening party of the Kolkata social circuit. It was a glittering evening, complete with social activists, business magnates, film fraternity and all those Page 3 and so-desperately-wannabe-page 3 crowd thronging the Tollygunge club lawns. At the entrance a mammoth Christmas Tree set the tone for the festivities, festooned with sparkling stars, downy fake snowflakes and crowned with a shining angel. Tiny fairy lights were strung up all over the trees , harried waiters in pristine white uniforms dashed about with trays serving liquor and canaps to the gathering, and a string quartet played Christmas ditties in one corner. The giant dance floor with its revolving lights was still empty but once the throbbing beats of the latest popular numbers began to pulsate, all the youngsters hit the dance floor eager to showcase all their moves. In no time at all the party was well under way.
" Where the hell is she, I've been waiting for the last 20 minutes" grumbled a visibly irritated Jai running a finger beneath his collar to ease the unfamiliar constricted feeling. Though it was not his preferred style of dressing, there was no denying the sheer debonair sex appeal of a Jai Walia in full formal regalia complete with a pleated dress shirt and a royal blue cummerbund cinching his trim waistline. The contrast with the black of his tux combined with the smoothly gelled back hair, rugged good looks and devilish stare made Jai the cynosure of many admiring female eyes as he stood by the bottom of the typically Colonial pillared entrance with his friends.
" Maybe her female intuition has finally kicked in" bitchily giggled Tina who looked hot in her stunning strapless black gown. She was already miffed that Jai had not complimented her on her appearance and all his attention seemed to be focused on this Bani madame.
" Shut up Tina. God the grapes are really sour tonight" drawled Jai sarcastically. " Why don't you girls know when to keep your mouths shut… ah there's her car" and with a barely disguised impatience Jai moved forward to help Bani down from her car. His broad shoulders blocked the view of his friends for a minute and when he moved aside all their jaws dropped in collective disbelief. This was not the casually dressed Bani they'd always seen hanging out with Jai. This was someone who moved with the grace of a Goddess, the assurance of a celebrity and the attitude of a princess. Dressed in a strapless short blue velvet dress Bani carried off the display of creamy shoulders and long tanned legs with lan. The blue of the dress seemed to give additional depth to her grey eyes. She wore no jewellery other than a slim gold bracelet with her favourite charms dangling from it, a gift from her father on her 15th birthday. As Jai leaned forward to brush her cheeks with his lips in greeting he whispered " You look good enough to eat. God I think there should be a law against looking so good."
" You're looking pretty nifty yourself Mr Walia" Bani said with an impish gleam in her eye.
Jai's laugh rang out as he steered Bani through the crowd.
" Jai Walia, Mr. Jai Walia, just one moment please" a young reporter stopped him.
With barely concealed impatience Jai stretched his lips in the semblance of a smile as he turned to face the barrage of cameras flashing as his photo with Bani was clicked.
" Jai, I'm supposed to be here with friends, my papa doesn't know I'm here with you, please stop, tell them to stop, ohmigod what will happen now, Jai…." Bani clutched his arm in dismay as flashbulbs popped all around them.
" Don't worry Bani, none of these people will dare to print anything without my approval."
" But Jai.."
" I said don't worry Bani" and then Jai proceeded to answer the usual questions about handling the reins of his father's business and future expansion plans.
" Mr Walia, any plans of settling down. Who's the young lady? Is she yet another conquest or a marriage prospect?" piped up a loud voice from one of the enthusiastic reporters.
Suddenly Jai turned around and thrusting his face close to that of the young reporter spoke through gritted teeth and said " Just because I allow you to ask me questions doesn't mean you pry into my personal life. Get your face and your stupid questions out of here before I break it"
The reporters backtracked hastily but not before taking a few more pictures of the handsome couple.
Jai put his arm protectively around a visibly shaken Bani and drew her to one side.
" Bani as long as you are with me you're safe"
" Why did he ask such a question Jai?"
Mentally cursing the prying reporter Jai tried to assuage Bani's fear by turning her face to him." Bani look into my eyes. What do you see? Can't you see how much I love and care about you, how much you matter to me. You choose to listen to what a dumb reporter says but not what your Jai says to you.. Bani it's only you and always you. Now shut up and let's dance" so saying Jai expertly steered Bani onto the crowded dance floor and gently encircled her with his arms.
" Feeling better?" Jai asked holding Bani tightly to him.
" I guess. Why are all of them so hateful?? Why can't they just leave us alone?"
" So you want to be alone do you?"
" Of course Jai, you know how much I hate crowds. And anyway since I have to be back by 12 o'clock, I'd much rather spend time only with you, not being jostled by people and having my toes stepped on. And you did promise a celebration"
Unable to believe his good luck, Jai signaled to his friends that they were leaving, ignoring the sniggers and knowing glances coming their way.
"Jai, where are you taking me" said a blindfolded Bani. He'd taken a golf cart and they were now trundling along the deserted golf course. " I'm feeling a bit cold" Said Bani rubbing at the goosebumps on her exposed arms.
" Just another couple of minutes Bani, then you have my word that you'll find no cause for complaint."
The mechanized hum of the golf cart stopped to be replaced by the chirruping of cicadas and the night calls of birds. Bani opened her eyes to see a roaring fire crackling before her. Next to it was spread out a bright patchwork quilt, whose jewel bright colours glowed in the flickering light of the flames. A champagne bottle rested in a cooler and there was even a wicker hamper of goodies. A sheaf of red roses was placed next to the cooler and Jai wordlessly took out a single long stemmed bloom and held it out to Bani.
" Oh my God Jai who did…. I mean when did you…" Bani's voice trailed off as she realized that Jai had gone to considerable effort to please her.
" Come Bani, let's dance" and Jai held out his hand to her in invitation,and the music began from a portable player.Overwhelmed by the plethora of emotions flooding her Bani rushed into his arms and buried her face in his broad chest. The soft strains of a Kenny G saxophone tune began as Jai and Bani swayed to the romantic strains. No conversation was needed only the shared beating of heartbeats and a quickened breathing revealed how affected both of them were by each others proximity. After some time Jai realized that Bani was sniffling. Immediately concerned he raised her face to his to see tears glistening on her eyelashes. " What happened Bani, did I do something wrong?"
"No Jai everything is just perfect. Just perfect" and Bani snuggled close to the warmth emanating from him.
" Bani have I told you how dazzling you look tonight, I'm the envy of every male here"
" Jai you are…."
" No Bani I'm dead serious, Its hard to believe that someone as beautiful as you has chosen to be with me. No Bani let me speak. Bani its no secret that I've known many girls and have had many flings, but you are so special Bani. Just saying I love you seems so inadequate , I worship you , I adore you, you've brought new meaning to my life, and Bani though I know your father thinks you are 'too young', I want to make you mine in front of the whole world. I want us to only belong to each other, now and forever. Bani…I.. Bani will you marry me?" Saying this Jai broke away from her and slipped his hand into his jacket pocket brought out a small box with the name of a renowned Kolkata jeweler emblazoned across it. He opened the box to reveal a beautiful ruby and diamond ring. " Bani this ring belonged to my mother, who left me when I was a child. It would mean a lot to me if you wear it as a symbol of our commitment to each other. Bani….?"
A single teardrop slid down Bani's cheek. She was overwhelmed at Jai's passionate declaration of love and in that instant she knew that there would never be any other for her. She knew that every girl dreamt of being swept off her feet but hadn't ever thought that her dreams would come true. Wordlessly she stretched out her left hand and Jai slipped the ring on. It was a perfect fit and sparkled in the firelight.
" Time to pop the bubbly I think" and with an ease born of practice Jai twisted off the champagne cork and poured the sparkling liquid into two flutes.
" Jai I've never drunk alcohol before" Bani said looking dubiously at the warm amber of the champagne.
" Bani you goose, even kids can have champagne. Incidentally I hope you realize that it's a momentous occasion for the two of us, you did accept my proposal of marriage. I want this to be a memory even my children will remember. So drink up" and Jai gulped down his glass.
An accustomed warmth flooded Bani's cheeks at the mention of ' children'. Though she was well aware of the method of human procreation, the thought of sharing such intimacies with Jai brought a heated rush of blood to her cheeks. She took a big gulp to hide her shyness but Jai was too quick not to have noticed. " Bani did I embarrass you? I'm sorry but you have no idea how desirable you look and I'm having a hard time keeping my hands to myself" saying this Jai dug his hands deep into his pockets and turned away from her.
" Jai… I.."
" Bani lets go"
" What but we only just got here!! And what about the hamper"
" Damn the hamper Bani, being alone with you like this is driving me mad with wanting you, Bani lets just get back to the party, or else I won't be able to hold myself in check, you're driving me crazy"
With a totally new feeling of daring Bani went to Jai wrapping her arms tightly around him, her body flush against his, feeling his aroused contours for the first time." Jai what if I said its worth the risk, just to be with you"
" Bani , don't torture me, you don't know what you are saying!!"
" Jai I'm very sure and besides, if we are going to be married then …" Bani's voice trailed off
"Oh god Bani" he said his voice nearly cracking. He scooped her up cradling her to his chest, his lips drifting across hers in a soft sweet caress. Bani wrapped her arms about him craving more of this wondrous new excitement..
" Are you sure?" Jai asked as he pulled back to look at her his eyes hooded and unreadable in the flickering firelight.
She nodded as Jai lowered her to the quilt, her hands going to his bow tie. She tugged it loose her hands then worked her way down the many buttons of his finely pleated dress shirt, anxious to feel his skin beneath her palms, the sure strength of Jai against her own body. Jai kicked off his shoes.They landed with a clunk followed by the twin sound of her heels following.Electricity filled the air, charging the space between them. His mouth on hers was hungry yet tender, his hands warm and tight on her hips.He lowered himself beside her, their two bodies fitting together as easily as two puzzle pieces. She worked his shirt out of his waistband tugging it down and off his arms, allowing herself the pleasure of running her hands along his chest, marveling at the warm hardness beneath her palm. Their mouths met, a ravenous kiss that tasted lips, tongue, every inch of each other. Jai tugged her dress up and over her body then paused, his gaze awed as it swept over her nubile perfection." I've dreamt of you, but you leave my dream far behind"
" And how did the dream end?" Bani asked breathlessly.
" Let me show you" he said leaning down trailing kisses along her neck and below. He touched all the right places, stroked at just the right pace and sent every one of her nerve endings into another stratosphere.
She ran her hands along his bare back, urging him to quench a thirst that had suddenly become unbearable. He kissed her everywhere while her palms explored his firm amazing body. Their crescendo built quickly and before Bani knew it she was crying out Jai's name in concert with him. When the sensations finally ebbed Jai rolled to the side pulling Bani into the curve of his arm as he tucked the quilt around them Bani couldn't remember feeling warmer or more secure. They lay together silently gazing at the blanket of stars far above them who had borne mute witness to their tumultuous union.
The magical spell dissipated with the buzzing of Jai's phone. It was in his discarded jacket pocket and in trying to get it out Jai accidentally pressed the loudspeaker button.
Above the loud racket of the party Boney's voice came on" Kya yaar Jai, kitna time lagta hain tereko. Ladki pati kya?? Kaam khatam hua kya?? Is the virginal miss deflowered?? Shall we pop the bubbly?" the last was said to a loud burst of laughter from a host of listeners. Jai pressed the off button but it was too late. With a completely alien feeling of dread he turned to look at Bani.
White as a sheet Bani looked back at him and Jai could literally see the shards of her broken heart crumble before him. With a soft yet firm voice Bani asked " Was this all a game Jai?"
Jai for once at a loss of words fumbled " Bani its not what you think!! I did begin as a dare but now I've realized how much you mean to me, tonight was so special, Bani please hear me out, Bani…" he stopped as he realized that for the first time in his life he was being unable to meet the eyes of someone.
" I guess you answered my question." She slipped off the ring , held it in her palm for a second and then kept it next to him. Quickly she dressed, her trembling hands the only pointer to the feeling of betrayal ripping her apart. " Jai I just have one piece of advice, the next time you choose to break a girl's heart please choose someone as heartless as you"
" Bani please listen to me I beg of you, listen…. I do love you. I know after hearing the call its hard for you to believe but Bani this time I've really fallen in love and I don't want to let you go. Bani you have to believe me."
" Why?? So that you can hurt me again?? You've got what you wanted, the 'virginal miss deflowered', so now you can cut out the fake emoting. Its over Jai. Its time for your actual celebration. Thank you for showing me a side of love hitherto unknown to me. As for letting me go.. Jai what makes you think I want to stay. With You?? I'm feeling sick that I let you touch me, love me. I want to erase you, Jai from my heart, my memories , my body. And now if you'll excuse me I think you can find your way back to your eager friends" Bani jumped onto the golf cart knocking over the champagne bottle and the crystal flutes and sped away into the night. Only then did she let the tears fall, of betrayal, of humiliation, of a failed love, of a broken heart.
Jai stood watching her go, knowing that he'd lost the right to stop her. He realized that he'd lost the only relationship that had ever meant anything to him. He realized that Bani had wormed her way into his heart and that there never would be anyone like her. He realized that he'd discovered love only to lose it due to his colossal stupidity and conceit. He realized that he's turned his back on the purity and integrity of a genuine emotion only to condemn himself to a life bereft of emotions. As the enormity of his loss sank in Jai sank to his knees keening in pain. All that remained of his Bani's presence was the crushed red rose he had given her and the remnants of a broken champagne flute. The stars watched it all—a mute witness.
An echo fades into the night,
an eerie mournful sound.
A shooting star disappears from sight,
and I crumble to the ground.
There is no life within this garden;
my sobs are the only sound.
I have poisoned the honeyed fountain
where your love could be found.( Betrayal By Dan Macdonald)
Chapter 6
5 years later, Tipu Sultan's Summer Palace, Sreringapatnam, Karnataka.
It was a hot and muggy day and Bani was sweating buckets as she bent to put the last touches to an old portrait of the Lion of Mysore, Tipu Sultan, flanked by his father Haider Ali in full war regalia. As a restorer of paintings Bani's services had been commissioned by the Mysore Heritage Trust that had been working tirelessly to preserve all the Tipu Sultan memorabilia that had been handed down over generations. Centuries of dirt, neglect and sheer bureaucratic indifference had put layers of grime obscuring the jewel bright colours and three dimensional effects used by painters centuries earlier. As she wiped the sweat trickling down her forehead, Bani felt the deep satisfaction of a job well done. Not only could the innocence of the young Tipu be seen now, his Father's heavy set brows shone with indomitable grit and pride. It almost seemed as though they would step out of the confines of the canvas and lead a charge into battle.
As she wearily massaged the small of her back, Bani stood up from her small stool, stretching muscles that had become cramped from hours spent hunched over the portrait. Others who had seen Bani at work often wondered at the sheer grit that kept her going inspite of physical exhaustion. They little knew that the physical twinges were nothing compared to the dull ache that had encompassed Bani's existence since that fateful night at Tollygunge club. It was her constant companion. Though Bani had tried her utmost to forget and move on, that one night had left an indelible impression on her life.
Why do I love you
With all my heart?
Why did I fall for you
From the start?
Why do you cause me
So much pain?
Why do you stick to my heart
Like a stain?( Why by Andrew)
A familiar cry of " Maidam, Maidam" shook her out of her reverie. Bani turned to see the curator Mr. Ms Cariappa bearing down upon her his pendulous jowls quivering with excitement. Bani plastered a polite smile on her tired face, knowing that the next 15 minutes would be taken up with a discussion of his arthritic knees. But today that was not the case. He was bubbling over with excitement. "Maidam, I have just had a very important talk with Mr. Shibdas Bannerjee the curator of Victoria memorial in Kolkata" Lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper he said "Only because of my contacts Maidam, he's agreed to let you do the restoration job at the Victoria Memorial Regency collection of paintings. You understand he's very known to me ..so…" looking expectantly for an outburst of joy at landing a plum contract, Mr Cariappa was disappointed to see only a faint smile on Bani's face. " Not happiness, Maidam??"
" No, No Mr Cariappa, its so kind of you, but actually I was planning to go back to Sorbonne for the fall term and catch up with some refresher courses" Bani did not want to tell him how loath she was to go back to Kolkata. Because for her Kolkata represented the shattering of a dream, Kolkata was synonymous with her lost love, Kolkata was intrinsically linked to a sense of betrayal that had led her to steer clear of all man save the two males in her life who were a constant, her father and her brother, Kunal. As if on cue, her phone trilled and with a resigned smile she picked up " Yes, little man tell me, who's the latest hottie in office" With an apologetic grimace at the waiting Mr Cariappa.
" Dids guess what!! She's got legs that begin at her shoulders"
" Kunal are you never going to go beyond legs??" Bani said with an indulgent smile.
" Dids I never you you could be so naughty. And you give Pa the impression that you are so propah!!"
" How is Papa, Kunal, is his blood pressure in control?"
" Dids he doesn't listen to me, insists on his whisky shots every night and always tries to avoid his Yoga. He misses you and Mom terribly"
The previous year Bani had lost her mother to cancer, a galloping ovarian cancer that had not even allowed the family the chance to fight for her life. Rajaram Dixit had become a broken and shattered man in the aftermath of this grief. The only reason for his existence was to see Bani smile once more, the way she used to before the blight called Jai Walia has wilted the bloom forever.
" Dids won't you come to Kolkata, just once. Even when Mom died you could not bring yourself to come. Ever since you left for college at Sorbonne, in Paris, I've just heard my sister's voice on the phone and seen your pictures. Dids, I miss you and Papa does too." Kunal's sad voice rang in her ears and then suddenly Bani's gaze fell on the father son duo of Tipu Sultan and Haider Ali in the restored portrait. They symbolized grit, exemplary courage and the never say die spirit. And Bani realized that she'd wasted enough years of her life staying away from those who really mattered in her life. She needed to go back to Kolkata, to face her demons and exorcise them. It was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do.
Hurriedly cutting off Kunal, she turned to Mr Cariappa who by now had turned purple with impatience at being kept waiting." Mr Cariappa, I accept. Will you please tell Mr Bannerji that I will be in Kolkata by next week to take up the assignment. All further details will be discussed then"
Mr Cariappa's eyes gleamed with happiness. Somehow the kindhearted pompous old man had realized that Bani was like a bird whose wings had somehow gotten clipped by life's adversities. He wanted her talent to come into the limelight, and her professional success to pave the way for her personal peace of mind.
" Okay Maidam, you not to worry. I myself will personally talk to him"
Bani gathered up her belongings and walked towards the guesthouse. For better or for worse she would be in Kolkata next week. And after that, well que sera sera….
Chapter 7
Why do I sit
In my room all alone?
Why do I pray
You would call my phone?
Why cant I stop thinking of you,
Why can't I say goodbye
Why do I still get jealous
When I see you with another guy?
Why can't I forget about you
And put you in the past?
Why does a part of me still believe
That me and you were made to last? ( Why… by Andrew)
A gleaming car rolled to a halt in the plush portico of The Merlin Greens, a condominium complex for the rich and famous of Kolkata. A portly man got off and quickly strode to the bank of elevators saying "penthouse" to the liftman, who knew him and tipped his head in recognition. It was not an often heard request for the penthouse apartment belonged to the reclusive Jai Walia, a man known for his prowess in business, who had after his father Uday Walia's death diversified into shipping and warehousing raking in huge profitsfor his conglomerate. Yet he remained an enigma for most people associating only with a few chosen friends from his childhood days. Any intrusiveness into his privacy was dealt with ruthlessly by his efficient PR department.
Boney, now potbellied, balding and quite happily henpecked, stepped into the rarefied atmosphere of Jai's apartment. Like the man himself, the apartment was decorated in a starkly minimalistic style, only lavish paintings by Sunil Das, Dhiraj Chowdhury and Jamini Roy adding colour to the walls.
" Saab hain?" he asked Jai's butlerTony and received a nod in the affirmative.
" Apne kamre mein, aap jayiye andar, aapko toh mana hain nahi" Tony said with a smile.
Boney walked into a dimly lit room to see Jai sweating it out on a rowing machine. In the dim light Boney could see sleekly muscled shoulders gleaming with perspiration. Jai was exercising like a man possessed looking at a spotlit paper clipping that was framed and occupied pride of place on his bare walls. It was the clipping of Jai and Bani at the pre Christmas ball on that fateful night 5 years ago, the night that had changed Jai forever. Both of them looked dazzling and so perfect together.
It was a familiar scene for Boney who had seen his friend morph from being a lazy playboy to a focused successful businessman in the aftermath of that event. It was as though Jai had channelised his feeling of guilt and unrequited love into achieving his own stature and identity in the world. After that night Jai was not content to be known as the playboy son of Uday Walia. He had often told Boney ( who in his own goofy way somehow felt responsible) that it seemed as though Bani's soft voice trembling with betrayal rang in his ears and made him feel less of a man. So he drove himself, to constantly prove himself, but the one person who's approval and forgiveness he craved was lost to him. No longer was he a young man with a careless devil may care smile, swaggering around. This Jai had lines of pain carved in his face. The craggy rugged features had been tempered by his experiences. Though his physique was still muscular, it was not the pumped up muscularity of film stars, it was a rangy, lean look aquired from spending hours in the saddle. Riding was probably the only thing that Jai still did , which he had done in the past, somehow being on a horse reminded him of the lazy afternoons spent at the club with Bani watching him shyly. After Bani had left that evening Jai had come back to the clubhouse to be greeted by raucous cheers and backslapping. All of which simply compounded his felling of wretchedness and crushing guilt when Tina proclaimed that Bani had proved her status as being a notch on the legendary Jai Walia's belt as her hasty tearful departure had been witnessed by all of them. None of them were prepared for Jai lashing out at Tina with a backhand, leaving her gasping for breath. Pin drop silence ensued as Jai spoke between clenched teeth that he did not want any mention of this ever again. But it was not to be as the next day newspapers carried the Jai Bani pictures splashed with titillating gossip provided by an 'authentic source'.( No prizes for guessing who the source was.) Jai had rushed to Bani's house the next day, desperate to see her and somehow make her believe that he was terribly sorry, willing to rub his nose on her dainty feet if necessary, but the surly looking servant told him that the family had left for an extended vacation. Periodically Jai made trips to the apartment for any news about the Dixits. Not a week went by without him landing up and harassing the gateman who finally got exasperated and said that the flat had been sold and the family had gone abroad indefinitely. That day had been a crushing blow for Jai as he realized that he'd thrown away his one chance of being with his soulmate, and that he had no way of tracing her. Rajaram Dixit the painter and his family seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth. In fact Jai's foray into art had begun as an attempt to find a link to Rajaram and his family. Sometimes vague rumours surfaced that they had been seen in Boston, Paris and once even Athens. Each time Jai's flagging spirits received a boost but every time the hope petered out.
Smiling a tired smile Jai greeted Boney, a friend who still tried to fix him up with various female cousins called ' Bunty', "Lovely', 'Sweety' and once even a "Brainy'. But it seemed as though Jai's heart was encased in a shell of his own making and no one could breach the defences.
" Jai I have some news for you." Boney said, looking hopeful yet worried at the same time." Last night I was at a party with some government officials and one of the gentlemen there was the curator of Victoria Memorial. He said that a Miss Bani Dixit is arriving next week to undertake the restoration of Regency paintings and they are looking for corporate sponsors. Maine tera naam bataa diya"
The glass of juice that Jai had been sipping, slipped out of nerveless fingers as Jai tried to absorb what Boney had just told him. Bani, his Bani , back here in Kolkata. Miss Bani Dixit, painting restorer.. it had to be her, it could be no one but her. Silently Jai willed it to be true as he sent up a heartfelt prayer of thanks for a conky friend like Boney who in his own bumbling fashion had been his rock.
Boney cleared his throat and said hesitantly " If its not her, then the following week my cousin Happy is coming from Jullunder, she's a damn good cook and kabaddi champion"
Jai gave a bark of laughter and looping his arm affectionately around Boney's shoulders Said something he had not said in 5 years " Chal yaar lets get drunk and celebrate"
Boney's eyes looked ready to pop. It was as though a ghost had spoken to him. But this was no ghost, it was a laughing Jai Walia, whose smiling face had become just a memory for his friends. Wordlessly he pulled Jai into a bear hug. " Good to see you back Bro"
And to Jai it seemed as though there was light at the end of the tunnel, faint but glowing nonetheless and this time Jai knew that he would make it a permanent part of his life.
Chapter 8
It had been two weeks since Bani had returned to a tearful reunion in Kolkata, to a grown up brother whose bear hug squeezed the very life out of her, to a father who's eyes dimmed by loss had lit up on seeing her and Bani had never felt more loved or missed. At their new bungalow ( actually new was a misnomer because Kunal and her father had been living there for the past two years, but it was new for Bani) on the tree shaded Avenue of Palm Avenue, it was always "Dids this" and " Dids that' or cries of "Baneee" that could he heard. It was as though light and laughter had returned to the house and after a long time the Dixits were together enjoying their closeness after years spent apart. Though Bani was revelling in the love and affection, Rajaram knew that a shadow of loss and grief lurked in his daughter's eyes in her unguarded moments. He alternated between damning Jai Walia to Hell and hoping that the man would come back to his daughter's life reaffirming her faith in love and belief in humanity.
Both he and Kunal respected Bani's privacy though and never even once questioned her about that night. Whatever they knew was based on the newspaper report and gleaned from the various versions from the onlookers at the club that night. When the shattered girl had faced her father and told him she wanted to leave the country, Rajaram had not had the heart to castigate her for her indiscretion. Instead he had wordlessly hugged her while she sobbed great wrenching sobs on his chest, letting out her pain and humiliation. When her grief was spent, Rajaram quietly sent her and the rest of his family to pack essentials and within 2 hours all arrangements were made. It had helped that Rajaram had connections with the higher ups from the bureaucracy courtesy his celebrity painter status. By dawn the Dixits were winging their way to England and Rajaram noticed that after her outburst Bani had not shed a tear or looked back even once. It was as though she had compartmentalized her pain into a small part of her memory and tucked it away.
She had opted for a career in Art and had gone on to the Sorbonne in Paris for further studies. Taking up the career of restoration of the works of the Grand Masters Bani had quickly risen through the ranks, by virtue of her hard work and meticulous attention to detail and now had the luxury of being able to choose assignments.
Coming back to Kolkata had pushed Bani into a cauldron of bubbling emotions, emotions that had been severely repressed for the past 5 years. Travelling through the familiar streets and by lanes of Kolkata brought back memories of a childhood spent in carefree indulgence, surrounded by the protection and love of her family. In contrast the last few years though full of professional success seemed dry and barren Bani realized that by cutting herself off from her loved environment and dear ones, she had needlessly deprived herself of happiness. Her one brief love affair had left such a bitter aftertaste that she had slipped into the habit of punishing herself. In doing so she had punished herself.
" Enough!!" thought Bani as she dabbed furiously at a canvas depicting a pitched battle between British and French soldiers. " I have frittered away 5 years of my life mourning the loss of something that never really should have been given so much importance in the first place. Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I will live it on my terms, no longer shamed and saddened" Saying the last out aloud to herself Bani felt a lightening of her inner unseen burdens, something cracked open in her and she did an impromptu little shimmy on her stool, humming to herself.
Suddenly realizing where she was she stopped and looking around at her deserted workspace she laughed. It was well after Museum hours at the Victoria Memorial and other than the spotlight under which she was working much of the echoing confines of the museum was in darkness. Yet a strange sense of being watched assailed Bani, a sensation that had happened several times in the last 2 weeks. Often she felt as though her every move was being watched yet whenever she looked around there was no one there. The back of her neck prickled and Bani peered into the murky shadows once again.Seeing no one she concentrated on packing away her equipment. It had been a long yet satisfying day and Bani was looking forward to a lingering hot shower before heading for a dinner with the sponsors of the restoration project. Mr Bannerjee, the curator of Victoria Memorial, had told her that the Chairman of the Angel group of Companies had expressed a desire to meet her and though Bani was not too keen on a boring corporate dinner she did realize the value of networking in her line of work. She stepped out of the museum to see lowering clouds and a stormy sky. The first few drops of rain spattered on her face as Bani rushed to her car, the sole one still in the car park. Struggling with her heavy bag and easel, Bani was trying to get her purse open and fish out her car keys. As a strong wind gusted a stray particle of dust blew into her eye and wincing at the sudden prickling discomfort, Bani dropped her stuff.
" Dammit, I can't see" as Bani tried to rub the offending eye.
" Let me" and a voice from Bani's past spoke up rendering her into total immobility. Her head whipped around to see a tall shape looming close to her. It couldn't be Him, it must'nt be Him… but to her feeling of impending doom, the shape materialized into a form that she had not allowed herself to even dream of for the past 5 years. It was him, it was Jai Walia and as the man Bani regarded as her nemesis reached out to her face Bani literally shrieked out " Don't touch me". Jai's hand dropped back to his side as the two of them stood staring at each other, hungrily drinking in the sight of each other, unable to look away while the storm whirled around them. But it seemed as though the two of them were caught in the calm eye of the storm, unaware of the flying dust and the rain pelting down. Drenched within minutes, it was Bani who was suddenly jolted back into the present shocked out of her trance like state by the jagged spear of lightning that streaked across the sky. She bent down to retrieve her belongings with nerveless fingers brushing aside the tears gushing from her prickling eye. As she straightened up she was shocked when Jai took her face in both his hands. She couldn't even push him away as her hands were laden with her equipment. Jai bent his head close to hers and gently blew the offending particle away. Bani froze as long buried feelings and long forgotten upheaval bubbled over to the surface.
" Take your hands off me" she bit out furious with him for daring to touch her and even more furious with herself for allowing him. " Don't you dare lay your fingers on me ever again" and with a mighty shove she pushed him aside getting into her car. Jai stumbled back stunned by the vicious force of her words. This seemed like somebody else in the body of his Bani, where was the warm, loving, feisty girl he had lost himself in, he had pined for?? This woman looked at him with an indifferent impassive glance and carried herself not with the easy grace of 5 years ago but with the standoffish attitude of a nun.As Jai caught the first glimpse of the indomitable defences he would have to breach to win back his love, after a very long time Jai felt his old hunting instinct kick in again. And as Bani's car reversed towards him Jai laughed out loud to see her bumper sticker which read 'Catch Me If You Can' and Jai was immediately transported back in time to their first meeting in the coffee shop. Contrary to his first impression, his Bani was still there, encased in the garb of poise and indifference but alive and kicking.
" I'm going to do my damndest to win you back, Bani. I will and I am the only man who can catch you, and catch you and keep you I will, coz you are only mine. We are meant for each other and even if it takes the rest of my life I'm going to convince you" so saying Jai walked back in the driving rain to his car.
Chapter 9
Bani walked into the foyer of Mezzo , (a happening joint according to the very social Kunal) a Mediterranean style food court that specialized in Lebanese and Algerian cuisine. Dressed in a simple beige chiffon with an embellished blouse that dipped a little too low for her liking Bani had no idea how stunning she looked. Walking up to the maitre'd she said " Miss Bani Dixit. I believe there's a booking…." Bani's voice trailed off as she realized that the maitre'd had literally metamorphosed from a snooty supercilious looking person into someone who smiled ingratiatingly at her, whispering importantly " The Private Dining Room , This way Miss". Bani liked the ambience of the restaurant, simple rough white walls, wicker furniture, oil lamps all centered round a lemon tree in the midst of a tiled courtyard. There was even a small splashing fountain. But she was led past the diners and ushered into a small terrace overlooking the courtyard, where the conversation of the other diners was reduced to a low hum and a small waterfall tinkled onto a pebbled base. It was dimly lit by a flickering lamp and Bani could only see the outline of the gentleman who stood up waiting for her.
" Your guest, Mr Walia" the maitre'd announced and bowed out.
" Mr Walia?? God why can't I get his name out of my head. Seeing him after so many years has addled my brains" thought Bani, angrily. Pasting her practiced professional smile on her face Bani moved forward into the circle of light shed by the flickering lamplight.
" Good to see you again Bani. You look like a vision" and Jai moved forward into the circle of light.
Bani reared back, confusion writ large on her face. Jai, here… but she was supposed to meet the sponsor…. With a click the pieces fell into place as Bani realized who her corporate sponsor was.
" Old habits die hard, I see Mr Walia. Once a deceiver always a deceiver." Bani said in a cold voice, furious at being tricked. Kicking herself for not having found out more about the project from Mr Bannerjee.
" I don't recall any deception Bani, you did read the contract for the restoration project being paid for by Angel industries."
" I didn't know you represented Angel Industries, I thought that you were associated with…."
"With Walia Industries? Bani, that was my father's company. I have set up my own group and have merged Walia group with the Angel group"
" Angel seems a liitle fey, whimsical almost for a man like you"
"Angel is a reminder of someone incredibly precious to me, someone who gave my life meaning and direction, someone who means the world to me"
A wave of jealousy swamped Bani, as she realized that the man who had brought her life to a standstill had moved on leaving behind the wreckage of her life,without a backward glance. Biting back recriminations she turned to leave but Jai was quicker than her. His arm shot out and his hand clasped her wrist like a manacle. " Don't you even want to know her name?" Jai asked softly.
" Frankly nothing about you or your life interests me"
" Liar. Bani you say one thing but your eyes say another"
" Jai I'm not remotely interested in this conversation and please let go of my hand."
" Angel was named for you Bani, coz you are my guiding angel, you touched my life and changed my existence.Stay for dinner Bani. Its dinner Bani, two chairs, a table and a meal. No hidden strings, no innuendo"
" Jai I don't think…:
" Please Bani" Was that a hint of desperation in his voice, or was Bani overreacting to his heady proximity .The knowledge that he'd named his company for her made her head spin. But she'd been led astray by his honeyed words once before. Was it true this time?? She didn't know Exhaustion had shaded the area below her eyes. No wonder, too, given the hyperspeed she worked at. Every day for the last two weeks from a hidden vantage point he'd been watching her at work, commiting to memory the sight of her absently brushing back her hair as she painted, the pursing of her rosy lips as she concentrated on a detail, the little hum she did when she got a colour just right, the stretching of her simple white tee across her lush curves as she reached across the canvas making him swallow with a wrenching need. Jai wanted to scoop her up, take her home and tuck her into his kingsized bed, letting her sleep until those shadows disappeared, and the smile on her face became brighter, more like the Bani he used to know.
" You need to eat"
" No, I need to get home"
" Bani stop. Hell just eat coz you're hungry and I'm offering you a great meal in relaxing environs"
" Jai this is ridiculous. This isn't going anywhere"
" You don't need to tell me that. I may not like it but I can understand what's obvious"
She took a step closer her gray eyes flashing fire." Can you?"
Hell no he couldn't but he wasn't going to say it. Instead he let his gaze sweep over her, reading a riot of emotions in her eyes. He moved closer to her coming within inches of her lips. Want curled around him, humming within him the familiar song of Bani, of how she would feel and taste. It had only been once but Jai treasured the memory of them together. " Can you?"
" Of course I can"
" Then prove it," Jai said, lowering his head, his breath whispering across her lips. " And kiss me"
When Jai kissed her , everything within Bani went from ice blue to red hot. It was if he'd never kissed her before, as if she'd waited for his touch for a lifetime. With a clarity that astounded her, Bani remembered every detail from that first electrifying touch from 5 years ago. Those memories washed over her, whispering against this new kiss. Desire arched within her, rumbling through a body that had been focused on career for far too long. His lips were tender against hers drifting over her mouth, an easy sweet taste of what was to come.Then when she didn't pull away, his kiss deepened taking her down a sensuous path so familiar, it nearly made her cry. Before she could stop herself her arms stole around his neck feeling the ends of his short hair tickle against her skin, making every inch of her want him with a fierceness that bordered on frenzy.
His tongue slipped between her lips and every resolve she'd had melted in the seductive waltz he played on her mouth.. She did the same to him, nerve endings tingling with awareness and memory, one fire stoking the other. He reached up and cupped her jaw, tenderly, the way he used to, back when their focus had been on each other and nothing else. Behind her closed eyes, a slideshow of memories flashed through Bani's mind, teasing at the edges of their kiss, urging her to forget the hurts. How she wanted to give in to that kiss, to do nothing more than love this man. Her sense of humiliation and cruel betrayal were swept away by his touch, and she wanted his touch to erase the words, the silences, the pain. But she had spent too much regretful time knowing that no kiss could do that.
Bani jerked back and broke away from Jai's arms encircling her, ignoring the pull of attraction." Jai we can't do this"
" Why not? I know neither of us are committed elsewhere and this kiss tells me that we still mean the world to each other"
Bani turned away tears spilling out. " Don't do this Jai. I can't…" Her voice trailed off because she knew that if he touched her again she'd dissolve.
" I love you Bani" he said his voice hoarse." I've always loved only you".
" No you don't ,you never did"
" He lifted her face to his, waiting for her to meet his gaze. " Bani I'd never be where I am today if it wasn't for you. You have always been the better half of my success. Of everything"
How she wanted to believe him. To think that it could be different, to trust Jai once again physically and emotionally. But if there was one thing Bani could not take was any more heartbreak. She shook her head then crossed the terrace to the door. " No Jai. I will not be fooled Not again" Then before she did something really stupid like kiss him again Bani turned and left, her stomach as disappointed as her heart.
Chapter 10
From that day onwards it seemed to Bani that whenever she turned around Jai was there, never passing up on a single opportunity to touch her. Exasperated she asked him about the dark fate of Angel Industries since the CEO was evidently just allowed to hang out where he was not needed. But Jai said he was hard at work, he was "protecting and overseeing his investment". She did notice him working on his laptop at times placed precariously on the car bonnet as video conferences took place, gesticulating and speaking on his Blackberry but he refused to leave her alone.
His seemingly casual touches as he pushed back an errant lock of hair, wiped off a stray smear of paint from her cheek, brushed his hand against hers as he solicitously helped her pack up night after night kept her nerves at a screaming fever pitch and her emotions were completely rattled. Not once did he kiss her or make any untoward advances but Bani was aware of his smouldering gaze on her every minute of her day. And at night instead of succumbing to sleep, Bani was plagued by thoughts of him. It was all driving her crazy, keeping her feeling as though she was teetering on the edge of a precipice and one evening she snapped.
It had been a quiet day with Jai for once preoccupied with his laptop and Bani working in a companionable silence adding the finishing touches to a portrait of Queen Victoria. As she put the last touches to the lacy ruff at the queen's throat, a stray gust of wind blew in knocking over a jar of blue paint on Bani's labours. Seeing all her precious work going to waste Bani tried to mop off the paint but ended up getting most of it on herself.
" What happened… Oh god Bani, what's happened to your face?" Jai spoke up as he looked up from his work to see Prussian Blue liberally streaked across Bani's face. Her expression of total disgust complete with the colourful visage was too much for Jai. She looked like a preschooler in her dungarees , caught being naughty during painting class. Jai could not control his laughter and a deep chuckle burst forth from him and he just couldn't stop. On and on he laughed till he realized that Bani was in tears. He inmmediately stopped and Bani turned away. Jai went and stood close behind her.
" Bani what's wrong?? Why are you crying? I'm sorry if.."
" No you are not sorry and you never will be. Your laughter reminded me of the day when everyone was laughing…" and her broken voice trailed off.
Jai closed his eyes with a clenching guilt as he realized how deep her wounds were. Unable to stop himself he turned Bani to face him and enfolded her close in his arms. It was as though a dam broke in Bani as she felt Jai's loving touch break open the barriers repressing her hurt. She cried and cried, her body shaking with the force of her sobs and all Jai could do was listen to her gut wrenching cries, hating himself for having done this to her, holding her as tight as he could as if he could absorb all her pain and grief. For the first time Bani felt Jai's touch, devoid of sexual hunger and it was that rather than any words, which was the most effective bridge to her broken heart. After the storm of her tears abated, Jai gently pressed a kiss to her forhead. Taking out the large square of his handkerchief Jai proceeded to wipe away the dual ravages of paint and tears from Bani's face.
" I must look like a mess"
" Bani you've never looked more lovely and I will always remember this moment. I know Sorry doesn't even begin to encompass either the pain I've given you or the depth of regret in my heart. But I want you to know that never for a moment in the last 5 years have I ever stopped castigating myself for what I did to you. Its only when you left did I realize that in my egoistic immaturity I had lost the one person who meant the world to me. Bani you taught me to laugh, to love , to live. I want to live again Bani. I want to laugh and Love again. But only with you. Because its always been you. No one but you. At the same time I know that what I did to you was unforgiveable. And I will understand if you never want to see me again." Jai waited with bated breath for her answer but Bani remained silent, her face lowered. Realizing that it was a lost battle Jai loosened his arms from around her and turned to go, his shoulders drooping with the burden of a life ahead without meaning.
" Jai" a soft voice spoke.
Hope renewed in his eyes as Jai turned to see a blue faced Bani smiling at him through her tears. "I've dreamt of us like this" she said with a shy smile.
Not daring to breathe in case the dream shattered Jai rasped " How did the dream end?"
" Let me show you" and Bani launched herself into his arms. Pummeling him with her small fists Bani cried out " How dare you hurt me, how could you , you stupid oaf, you insufferable idiot with the football field sized ego, you mutt…."
" Ow, ow, Bani.. stop, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm an idiot, a mutt, an oaf ,but Bani" and Jai looked deep into her eyes, " this idiot, this oaf, this stupid egoistic ass loves you with every atom of his being, loves you with every shred of emotion he's capable of, loves you till the end of Time and beyond" As he said these words Jai was unable to stop the hot rush of tears to his eyes. He looked up to see tears in Bani's eyes as well as she placed her fingers on his lips and shushed him.
" Doesn't the mutt know when the lady wants a kiss??" Bani asked him with a saucy twinkle in her eye.
" I'm afraid the mutt is too scared of another round of boxing, and besides I've heard of blue films, but looking at you, blue seems anything but a sexual turn on…..ouch" as another hail of punches landed on his stomach." Bani ,you pack a mean punch, little lady" as he gathered her up in his arms and finally kissed her.
It was not just a kiss, it was a reaffirmation of bonds that had been forged 5 years ago, it was a promise of the life filled with love and laughter that was to come, it was a healing balm washing away the pain of broken hearts. The two halves that were Jai and Bani enmeshed together to become a single entity. Both of them were encapsulated in their own world where no one and nothing else existed other than each other. As always the stars looked on in mute witness but this time it seemed as though the starts too were shining in joy, happy to be witness to this glorious reunion..Finally Jai had managed to catch his own twinkling stardust in his hands, never to let it go again.
I can see Tomorrow for she comes for me each dawn;
She takes my hand and leads me in a dance.
Then before we leave the room, she whispers in my ear,
"Today's the day I give you one more chance...
One more chance to listen to the music that is You;
One more chance to take in Nature's sights.
One more chance to make up for the sins of yesterday;
One more chance to turn wrongs into rights.
One more chance to reaffirm the love you have inside
For friends and lovers...even strangers too.
One more chance to step a little closer to your dreams;
One more chance to make them all come true.
The End