heyy guys! this is my first FF. forgive my spelling, and my mistypes ok. i hope its interesting! it shall also be uploaded on a seperate blog for your reading ease. shall post up the link soon. anyways im reeeally a big fan of coldplay so ya, their lyrics shall be intermingled with posts.
the story starts off about seven years after bani leaves jai when she finds out about .....well you know..... at the ice skating rink. she has since moved to delhi. well the rest you can read for yourself.
Chapter 1
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
The simple lyrics swept through banis mind like a wave of sorrow, and memories of defeat clouded her conscience. She had failed. All those years ago, when she had tried her very best to beat life at its most difficult juncture, she had failed horribly. And someone had failed her in an even more painful way. That pain made its way down her cheek as a droplet of sorrow, straying from the pool of despair that she had been keeping bottled up I her heart for so long. But it was time to forget, if not forgive. After all, she had to live for someone else now. She had someone that depended on her, day and night. Someone to whom she was as priceless as that person was to her. Just that feeling was enough and more to sustain her, and she knew deep within, that she could never have this feeling with someone else. She wiped her face clean and started once more to jog towards the building only a mile away.
As she jogged she saw the familiar sights of delhi that had now become her home. Ever since she had left behind all she ever knew. Well, she had done it once, when her parents were no more. And so she knew, when she embarked upon this new journey, that this challenge was one she could face, and one she must face. Only now she had no one. Not even her sisters. Yes, for a while she was, as the song said, stuck in reverse. She got a job that she loved and eventually an apartment that she herself chose. But yet, there was a gaping hole in her life. One that needed, desperately, to be filled. And then she found what she had been looking for. She found her.
high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Truly, she had reminded bani how to live again, and how to love again. How to let go of the past and love the present for all the promise it offered. She was the best thing that bani ever had. And she showed bani, everyday, just how much she was worth. And she had, somewhat, fixed her.
She still remembered the day that her saviour came into her life. It was bani's birthday when she decided that yes, I want this beautiful gift for myself today.and she brought her light home. When she signed the papers, and the warden at the orphanage handed her that one-year-old beauty , she knew, at once, that her life would never be the same. She would never ever feel alone again. Because , for once, there was someone who needed her enough to sustain the both of them. And that was all that mattered.
Bani turned off her MP3 player just as the school gates opened and her beautiful daughter came running out. "rhea!!?she said in voice filled with sheer joy. Joy that only her daughter could bring her. Rhea, now all of 6 years old, came running into her mom's arms. "mommy, look what I made today!?she said, showing her mother a rather misshapen piece of clay that looked somehow trodden upon. ?I made it for you! It's a pen holder!?
"thank you, my love. Its beautiful!?said bani, seeing the beauty that only she could.?My baby is so grown up now!?/FONT>
"mommy, im not a baby! Im a big girl!?said rhea, as she did every day. ?so mommy, what are we going to do today??/FONT>
It was a Wednesday, and since school finished early bani always left work early so she could excersize and spend time with her baby,
?well darling I was thinking of going to the beach to build sandcastles.?Said bani, holding rhea's hand and walking towards the nearest taxi stand.
"no fair mommy! You promised! You said that we would go to the ice skating rink!!all my friends have been there and they keep teasing me about it! UNFAIR!!?said rhea, pouting ,with tears welling up in her eyes.
"darling i……?bani did not know what to say to the little girl, knowing that the very place where her whole life was turned upside down was not a place she wanted to visit anytime soon. ?I don't know…….?/FONT>
"mommy! I wanna go there!!!?cried rhea, tears streaming down her face now. Bani truly loved her to bits, and had given her absolutely anything she wanted up to the point that she couldn't even hear a "no?to her requests.
"well??Its time to bury the past anyway, bani said to herself as she looked upon the scrunched up face of her beloved little girl. "alright, lets go.?/FONT>
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