Posted:
Warning...This post is completely nonsensical and is only meant to promote some humor in our SPACE filled lives...any offence is not meant and should not be taken.
This is a plea for help...some of my friends have suggested starting a fund for the relief of KYY stricken fan illies while others believe that hosting a fundraiser dinner for the prabhavit pankhes and ACS will do the trick. A few were thinking of putting together a musical ...but seeing my over enthusiastic reaction...decided to call it quits...
But they all stand united on one front...I need help!! 🤪A shrink that can help me with my OCD and my PSMing...and seeing how this forum has contributed to my illness..are hoping that I will find a remedy here.
And they have proof...they did catch me red handed with honey all over the kitchen floor and there I was standing in the middle of the puddle with my arms raised for hours...several hours later and pages of colorful curses later...I was still mopping the floor...while they insist their shoes still stick in weird places...🤡.
Not to mention how I make them all drink various forms of Kadha...no one dares sneeze or cough or even hiccup in my presence...especially hiccups lead to embarrassing situations...with me chasing them all over...🤬
Then, there is the Bhindi issue...they swear I slip Bhindi in all cuisines...they suspect I introduced a few green sticky ones in my roomie's coffee (which of course has to be south indian filter prepared daily following instructions on the net)... the other day...and a few found some in their dal...a couple in noodles...a few in rotis and parathas...I don't think I did the kheer and bhindi ka halwa though...must be a foreign hand...hmmm...😲
Of course Chhole is always a bone of contention. They protest they are being deprived of their basic fundamental food rights..none of my friends dare cook Chhole coz the last time someone did..I insisted on finishing all leaving plenty starved...on occasions I insist they serve it all in tiffins...and on other days I am known to stare at the spicy balls for hours n smile...they claim I have a weird look on my face...what do they know???
The Pasta issue doesn't help much either...they are too scared to take me to an Italian joint...as I mentioned earlier...coz the word Pasta makes me use my sharp silverware on innocent blameless citizens...and I demand unheard of variations that the hotel staff does not approve of...wish I had some of my bhindi in my handbag...
Leaving food aside...they talk about the Guitar Mania...they are afraid for all guitar carriers...they have caught me chasing a few with a very intent look in my eye..and some have threatened to have a restraining order issued ...which strangely makes me happy...😃.I always carry a bunch of guitar strings in my bag and creatively use them for accessories like belts...sandal straps...watch bands...
They are fed up of my umpteen attempts at starting a musical band...I am assured of my talent...they seem to be tired of the hunt...I feel all Musicana...while they wanna break all deals...err...ties with me...Record breaking indeed...May be we will find a Fusion point👍🏼
And my tall guy obsession...anything towering over six feet is under threat...and anything petite, and tiny and delicate is under siege...❤️
They frequently mention our common friend...who has gone underground just to escape my desperate calls and love filled proposals...and the last I heard he has filed an official affidavit to change his name...wonder why MANAN Shah did that... I gotta call him n ask...😳
Talking about names...my Boss is still trying to figure out why I call him Harshad...Harshad...Harshad...every time he sets a deadline..😡
And the boss will wonder till his dying day how do I get locked up in our storage closet every single day...
I water all seeds...and own at least a dozen telescopes that I use to gaze at neighbors lights ( we live in a cold place so skies are mostly cloudy...but I can always pretend...right??)..several have escaped hurling objects that I experiment with to figure out the velocity and force at which a meteor can shower the earth ...and spend most of my evenings trying to catch fireflies in glass jars...of course at our altitude...fireflies don't breed...and that doesn't make it any easier for my friends with flashlights...I watch Monsters Inc. religiously ...and I pack quite a punch...my friends with broken jaws n teeth vouch for the same...
And my roomie...did I mention her...is fed up of the open windows...and God Forbid...black cars under them that invariably lead to a Pajama Marathon...
My family too has their share of burdens...what with my brother...who is not allowed to talk in my presence and has to draw star fishes and octopuses and various species of marine life on the walls just to prevent me from bullying..and my uncle who has to quit his exercise regime and put on a bit of tubby and chubby weight and wear south indian lungis ( then there is the coffee and the accent and calling his wife Ji)..and of course there is my Chachi...who is forced to watch SRk movies. and cook karela cakes and mancurian puris..and any and all variations I can think of...and my grandmother whose room I fill up with all sorts of musical instruments...but the worst is my mom...I am not going to share the details...my cheek still smarts!!
And I have been heard to say...Mere Karan Arjun aayenge...zaroor ayenge...oops...Mere Manik Cabir aayenge...dekhna TVTS phir se chadh jayenge...Voh Marein nahin...zinda hain...with a blank stare...😉
So, coz I absolutely love my Fab All...(lately that's what I call my friends)...and take oaths every hour to protect them from aliens and abductions...I am here...on their insistence to ask a simple question...
Do you guys think I suffer from any KYY ke side effects and need a shrink...????
P.S...I am moving to the Arctic...lately I have become allergic to SEASONS...!#@$%&*$#@!
😃
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