I need to say something!

DAY 35! - I need to say something!

"Manik...mujhe tumhe kuch bataana hai!" Manik...I think there's something wrong. I...I think you were right. Manik I'm scared. This panditji may not exactly be how I had comprehended. I should've been more attentive. More careful. How? When? What? I have no idea when things spilled out of control. He's not exactly the epitome of righteousness I had thought of him as. He wants me to perform to the best of my ability. He wants to nurture and bloom my singing talent. I had always considered this to be his truth. I had always believed for him to make me as fine of a musician as you are. But I think his minds are playing absolutely contrasting games. His mask is faultless. Every inch of his true skin seems to be hidden. I'm scared to be left alone even in broad daylight amongst his company because there seems to be an odd, unidentifiable smoke of darkness prowling around him. His touch always leaves me disgusted. I've only ever let your fingers caress my skin. You've never forced your touch upon me. Always respecting my shyness. Always concerned about the unease I may feel. But this panditji. Disregarding. Disgusting. Filthy. I asserted him I would wear it upon my own will. Yet he ignored my statement and reached out so shamelessly. Manik as much as my heart is slowly realising this situation to be beyond tolerable and acceptable, I fear telling you my inner concerns. I fear voicing you my confused anxieties. I know your anger better than you understand it. What if your rage towards one of my battles, weakens our fight for another battle? What if this fury takes a wrong turn and demolishes our towers of hope? What if all our efforts to reach home drain in vain? I need this fusion concert the most! My need to sing in this fusion concert with you is inexpressible. As our most-awaited moments are nearing, my horrors seem to be becoming more overpowering. My day had started on a rather positive note, but now the fears are squelching my optimism. Now that I have finally found you it seems that there is another danger that I should be particularly cautious about. "Manik tumne mujhe bataya kyun nahi ke Nyonika ma'am is giving you a tough time and that too because of me?" Manik I fear her the most. She's been successful once before, what if I fall into her unescapable traps again? "She really hates me na?" This idea just seems to add to my piles of miseries. I don't think I will be able to bear another day without you again. I don't think it'll be possible for me to spend another night without being able to rightfully wish you goodnight. I know you've assured me that you have it all covered. But manik what if she sees through to us? Her eagle-eyes have the ability to distinguish between truths and lies quite efficiently. I need you Manik. And this time my need is at its peak. Another second without you will become the death of me. I need to say many things to you Manik, but I just don't know how.

"Manik? Did you want to speak to me?"

"I have the perfect plan to settle all scores with that Nandini Murthy."

I need you to buy this lie Nyonika. This time I have to ensure my lies are coated with the most realistic paints ever. I've let you win once before, but that was the last time. That mistake shall never be repeated again. You were the reason for Nandini's tears. You were the reason for her heartaches. I can never forgive you. I can never leave her unprotected whilst you're on her hunt. I must re-apply my mask of a monster in front of you so you are undoubtedly convinced that you and I are on the same side this time. I have to ensure to repeat my false promises to you that I will ruin this fusion concert for Nandini. In order to save her from your villainous intentions, I must bluff that our intentions are a carbon-copy. You see I've had the infortune of spending my nineteen years decoding your manipulative agendas. But she is so pure. Her heart only knows how to trust, smile and speak truth. Her soul is so uncontaminated that she believes for everyone to be righteous clones of herself. But the truth is witches like you and devils like pandit do roam this earth. And I wish for her to never witness the ugly truths of souls like you people. Her unwavering belief in humanity will set ablaze and leave a pound of ash behind. And this ash will leave her in an unbreathable state. So my need for these words of lie to creep into your cunning brain is urgent. I need to say something which will convince you of my hatred towards Nandini.

"Nandini... please don't tell me mujhe explain karne ki zaroorat hai ke wahaan pe kya hua...Nyonika ke saath."

"The word you're looking for is sorry."

You're right Nandini...I need to apologise to you. Please forgive me for my unavoidable sin of lying. In fact, I've lied to you twice now. I haven't been able to express to you my ongoing fears about Nyonika's ruthless intentions and I had to mask my inner-feelings in front of her just a few minutes ago to assure you stay safe and protected until our official moment of reunion. I'm sorry Nandini, I forgot my own rule. The deal was to never lie and I have committed the crime. But I promise this was the last time. I promise that after this, no more lying, no more secrets, no more enigmas from my behalf. My prime reason for reserving my fears to myself was because you would unnecessarily start shivering in terrors. And I see you now, fully aware of Nyonika's re-planning of our separation and my suspicions appearing to be true. You're face has fallen pale. You're eyes are searching solace. You're smile is steadily disappearing. A new seed of fear is growing roots inside you. But I must excavate these roots. There is no room for another fear. The only seed that should be growing its roots and thriving is our hope tree. You know I can do anything for that smile of yours. And so I need to lighten up this tensed atmosphere. The start of our morning was quite pleasant but rather stressed as per our own perspectives. Hence it's time to tease, mock, joke and rag. "Welcome to my world! She hates me too! Haan!"Umm...okay never mind! It was a bad joke. Your heart seems to have sunk even more. Oh no! I see your fear escalating further as you see her walking towards you. You grow restless as to where we should hide. But the minute you hide yourself within me, your heart seems to have calmed down and my heart has just breathed its relief of breath. Our touch has that magic Nandini. When our hands meet, our heartbeats beat in sync. That's their way to calm the other one down. When our body wrap around each other in a cuddling hug, our souls whisper their worries to each other to unload the fearing burden inside us. And just see Nandini, once our hearts and souls have had their respective conversations, our smiles have returned. The fears have buried. Our love and hope are the only seed flourishing. Our love is such Nandini that our eyes can convey more than our words at times. Our heats can express endlessly and our touch can reassure every hope of strength and victory. I just want to say to you Nandini that never fear when each one of us is here!

"Jisne tumhe gussa dilaya, uss pe nikaalo na. Usse bhi pata hona chahiye ke tum itne naraaz kyun ho." Dhruv you feel you need to tell something to someone but I warn you don't. Don't listen to this devil dhruv! Don't turn a deaf ear towards your heart and follow the mind. Don't!

"Mai chup kyun rahoon?" Because all the allegations, all your thoughts, all your conclusions are baseless and hollow. You're hoping that after you voice your accusations, your pain will cease. Your broken heart will heal. But your agony will in fact double. Triple maybe! You'll be abandoned. By your friends, your family! This devil; he knows only how to break. Break trusts, break relationships, break hearts! You mustn't follow his dark ways. You mustn't consider his demonic advice. You mustn't say anything!

"Ek kaam karte hain, isse kuch nahi bataaenge. Waise bhi hamara plan fail ho chukka hai. Faltu mai isse stress kyun dein?" I'm sorry Navya! You don't deserve these tensions; you shouldn't be having to put up with my hopeless plans. But I'm helpless myself. I seem to know how to become the counsellor to everyone's problems, but my own list of issues doesn't seem to be depleting. You're being unnecessarily dragged into my hyped life and there is nothing I'm able to do in order to return the peace and relaxation factor in your life. You had warned that my plans will back-fire. That it was useless to invite an over-rated actor on board, but I unheard all your suggestions. I feel like I must reveal to you about the failure of yet another baseless plan of ours but you already seem to be too strained from the unexpected shocks we've been experiencing in our lives for the last few days. I want to tell you how much I wish for all this slipups to be sorted but perhaps the time isn't right. I need to express my own dilemmas to you but your need of rest and a calm mind is of more importance than my need. So I think I shouldn't say anything yet...

Well, here I am :D did you miss moi ? I bet you did ( cause that's how conceited I am..lol) seriously thou, I really missed all this last week but feeling kinda rusty..lol. Don't know where to start my rant so bear with me.

You absolutely were flawless my love. Such beauty in your words, I am in awe every time.

My father always says: "a man or woman is known by the company they keep." Because people add perspective to our life, they have a way of controlling our life where their words, their opinions have a way of affecting us. And right now, Dhruv is in poor company, surrounded by someone who is adding negativity to his life, fuelling his misunderstandings. Dhruv is not seeing right at the moment and the Pandit is just pushing him closer to the edge. The Pandit is selfish, he wants Dhruv to keep his hate alive for Manik and karma is gonna bit him in the ass. And it shall, no mask stays on forever, and his will come off too. Honestly, I want to sympathize with Dhruv because he doesn't even realize the amount of mistakes he is making, and the people he is hurting but on another hand, I am starting to feel pissed at his character who seems to be turning grey and to the point of no return. But I shall hope, hope that Dhruv is able to return to his family before he does damage even all the love and friendship can't repair.

Manik donned his monster mask today to deal with his momma monster. He cannot, he won't let her hurt his Nandini. Once, she got away with it. And this time, he will do anything, even shake hands with the devil herself to get her to believe his lie. He has worn a mask all his life and people have believed him. But this time, it counts for everything. He needs her to believe him ! He has promised his Nandini that fusion concert shall be their day and he will do anything to make it happen.

Manik and Nandini. Two people who come from different worlds, two people that have made each other their world but ever so often they get to see the world their significant other lives in. Earlier this week, Manik saw Nandini's world and saw all the love and affection she grew up blessed with. Today, she sees the world he grew up in, a world full of hate and cruelty, mind games and give and take. And she sees past his mask. "Welcome to my world, she hates me too.", he says it with a amused expression, almost brushing it off as a joke but it hurts ! It still hurts to be unloved by his mother, how he wishes he could be loved by a warm hearted woman like his Nandini's chachi. And every time she gets a glimpse of his world, her heart aches for the little boy who grew up with no love and still holds the capacity so selflessly. He wishes his world was different for her. Then maybe loving him would be easier. Maybe she would have more reasons to stay. Hate is such a foreign word to her, she can't seem to understand how she is hated by someone.

Her world has taught her that a guru and student's relationship is a pure one, moulded with respect and discipline. And every time her world's teachings are called into question, she gets confused. How ? How can the world be anything but good ? every time, she sees the harshness of the world, she gets shaken. And even today, she is shaken, she is scared. Manik's words, his warnings, they all seem to be making sense now. How hadn't she seen more clearly before ? Notice all the warning signs ? After all, the world she is just seeing now, her Manik has grown up on this world. And how will she tell him ? She knows him, knows his anger. And the fusion concert, it needs to happen, their hope has to win. But how can she lie to him ? Lie is the only thing that can separate them, he had said. To be separated from his again, her heart won't be able to bear it this time around. The necklace, she has to tell him this time. Lies, their relationship doesn't have any room for them. So Manik, follow your own words, don't lie to her. Just don't lie to each other, no reason will be good enough to justify a lie.

I think I shall leave this one right here. I know this one is kinda suckish but whatever :P

You were amazing as always my love

- Reya aka Your Sunny <3

"Manik...mujhe tumhe kuch bataana hai!" Manik...I think there's something wrong. I...I think you were right. Manik I'm scared. This panditji may not exactly be how I had comprehended. I should've been more attentive. More careful. How? When? What? I have no idea when things spilled out of control. He's not exactly the epitome of righteousness I had thought of him as. He wants me to perform to the best of my ability. He wants to nurture and bloom my singing talent. I had always considered this to be his truth. I had always believed for him to make me as fine of a musician as you are. But I think his minds are playing absolutely contrasting games. His mask is faultless. Every inch of his true skin seems to be hidden. I'm scared to be left alone even in broad daylight amongst his company because there seems to be an odd, unidentifiable smoke of darkness prowling around him. His touch always leaves me disgusted. I've only ever let your fingers caress my skin. You've never forced your touch upon me. Always respecting my shyness. Always concerned about the unease I may feel. But this panditji. Disregarding. Disgusting. Filthy. I asserted him I would wear it upon my own will. Yet he ignored my statement and reached out so shamelessly. Manik as much as my heart is slowly realising this situation to be beyond tolerable and acceptable, I fear telling you my inner concerns. I fear voicing you my confused anxieties. I know your anger better than you understand it. What if your rage towards one of my battles, weakens our fight for another battle? What if this fury takes a wrong turn and demolishes our towers of hope? What if all our efforts to reach home drain in vain? I need this fusion concert the most! My need to sing in this fusion concert with you is inexpressible. As our most-awaited moments are nearing, my horrors seem to be becoming more overpowering. My day had started on a rather positive note, but now the fears are squelching my optimism. Now that I have finally found you it seems that there is another danger that I should be particularly cautious about.

One is a monster while the other one is a devil.. You are in love with a monster while a devil is trying to sneak up behind you to trap you in a web... Nandini caught onto Pandit's creepiness but she cannot do anything about it because to her the FC means a lot to her because she gets to perform with the one person that means the world to her.. For him, she can even take the Pandit's creepiness and his inappropriate touching as well his gift😡😡😡 ... She is just praying that its just a day, its just a day, it will be over before I know it.. Tmrw is our day to shine together.. This is what Nandini is thinking.. She knows if she goes to Manik about this. MANIK WILL BE FURIOUS!! not with her but with that damn Pandit.. It will make him more angry and more desperate to become the shield btwn Pandit and Nandini.. She is worried just before hte day of the FC, something bad will happen if she opens her mouth to Manik..Sota hua monster jaag jayega.. Nandini dont give a two cent about the pandit.. All she cares is about manik and the FC..

"Manik tumne mujhe bataya kyun nahi ke Nyonika ma'am is giving you a tough time and that too because of me?" Manik I fear her the most. She's been successful once before, what if I fall into her unescapable traps again? "She really hates me na?" This idea just seems to add to my piles of miseries. I don't think I will be able to bear another day without you again. I don't think it'll be possible for me to spend another night without being able to rightfully wish you goodnight. I know you've assured me that you have it all covered. But manik what if she sees through to us? Her eagle-eyes have the ability to distinguish between truths and lies quite efficiently. I need you Manik. And this time my need is at its peak. Another second without you will become the death of me. I need to say many things to you Manik, but I just don't know how.

This scene literally broke my heart.. When Manik replies to her that "Nyonika hates me too and main usse 19 years jheel rahi hoon, now I am pro with dealing with her" You can LITERALLY SEE the pain about being mother deprived and her love because she never had the time for him because she was to busy making money... he found what family and love is from nandu's chachi...My heart goes to manik.. how can he have such a mother like this...who only has a give and take relationship..I wonder if Nyo ever did love manik? Nandini is scared because she is so innocent in these dirty games.. Im sure Manik hates it as much as her that I am a screwed up full of flaws man and I am pulling you into my dark world.. There are so many things scaring the poor soul of Nandu.. She cannot stand the thought of being away from Manik for a second let alone have separation btwn them..

"Manik? Did you want to speak to me?"

"I have the perfect plan to settle all scores with that Nandini Murthy."

I need you to buy this lie Nyonika. This time I have to ensure my lies are coated with the most realistic paints ever. I've let you win once before, but that was the last time. That mistake shall never be repeated again. You were the reason for Nandini's tears. You were the reason for her heartaches. I can never forgive you. I can never leave her unprotected whilst you're on her hunt. I must re-apply my mask of a monster in front of you so you are undoubtedly convinced that you and I are on the same side this time. I have to ensure to repeat my false promises to you that I will ruin this fusion concert for Nandini. In order to save her from your villainous intentions, I must bluff that our intentions are a carbon-copy. You see I've had the infortune of spending my nineteen years decoding your manipulative agendas. But she is so pure. Her heart only knows how to trust, smile and speak truth. Her soul is so uncontaminated that she believes for everyone to be righteous clones of herself. But the truth is witches like you and devils like pandit do roam this earth. And I wish for her to never witness the ugly truths of souls like you people. Her unwavering belief in humanity will set ablaze and leave a pound of ash behind. And this ash will leave her in an unbreathable state. So my need for these words of lie to creep into your cunning brain is urgent. I need to say something which will convince you of my hatred towards Nandini.

Manik knows how to trick Nyonika because after all he is HER BLOOD...The carbon copy of her. He knows how she thinks.. He knows how to put a monster mask in front of the vamp!! Back in the days he didnt care if he caused trouble or not. He didnt care who got hurt or what happened to who? He just walked all over with this kewl arrogance attitude.. and Nyo was happy with that monster because it profited her whenever he screwed up but this time, Manik is caring about what can happen if she sees through the lie.. This time, Manik is hoping that "please Nyo, fall for my face value so that I can protect the one whom I LOVE DEARLY from you..I am not the same monster that I was.. The monster in me is gone but can surface anytime to protect you Nandini from the world.. Whether it is Pandit or Nyonika or even my best buddy dhruv...

"Nandini... please don't tell me mujhe explain karne ki zaroorat hai ke wahaan pe kya hua...Nyonika ke saath."

"The word you're looking for is sorry."

You're right Nandini...I need to apologise to you. Please forgive me for my unavoidable sin of lying. In fact, I've lied to you twice now. I haven't been able to express to you my ongoing fears about Nyonika's ruthless intentions and I had to mask my inner-feelings in front of her just a few minutes ago to assure you stay safe and protected until our official moment of reunion. I'm sorry Nandini, I forgot my own rule. The deal was to never lie and I have committed the crime. But I promise this was the last time. I promise that after this, no more lying, no more secrets, no more enigmas from my behalf. My prime reason for reserving my fears to myself was because you would unnecessarily start shivering in terrors. And I see you now, fully aware of Nyonika's re-planning of our separation and my suspicions appearing to be true. You're face has fallen pale. You're eyes are searching solace. You're smile is steadily disappearing. A new seed of fear is growing roots inside you. But I must excavate these roots. There is no room for another fear. The only seed that should be growing its roots and thriving is our hope tree. You know I can do anything for that smile of yours. And so I need to lighten up this tensed atmosphere. The start of our morning was quite pleasant but rather stressed as per our own perspectives. Hence it's time to tease, mock, joke and rag. "Welcome to my world! She hates me too! Haan!" Umm...okay never mind! It was a bad joke. Your heart seems to have sunk even more. Oh no! I see your fear escalating further as you see her walking towards you. You grow restless as to where we should hide. But the minute you hide yourself within me, your heart seems to have calmed down and my heart has just breathed its relief of breath. Our touch has that magic Nandini. When our hands meet, our heartbeats beat in sync. That's their way to calm the other one down. When our body wrap around each other in a cuddling hug, our souls whisper their worries to each other to unload the fearing burden inside us. And just see Nandini, once our hearts and souls have had their respective conversations, our smiles have returned. The fears have buried. Our love and hope are the only seed flourishing. Our love is such Nandini that our eyes can convey more than our words at times. Our heats can express endlessly and our touch can reassure every hope of strength and victory. I just want to say to you Nandini that never fear when each one of us is here!

I just simply loved how Manik ran after NAndini to stop her from MU him.. Whatever he was doing was to insure her safety for hte FC. Honestly, NAndini didnt even need a explanation, she understood what he meant by his actions and words. Even his eyes pointed out that I am doing a face value act in front of Nyo.. please dont mu me.. I also loved that part where Manik mocks her like.. "Mujhe to laga tha tumhe pata hoga..ohh forgot tum utna smart nahi ho" That was fnny..even in this he finds a way to be sarcastic but behind his sarcasm hides a fear of losing and separation coming btwn them..He wants to make this perfect so that on their day, hope can win and evil can be banished for once!!..

"Jisne tumhe gussa dilaya, uss pe nikaalo na. Usse bhi pata hona chahiye ke tum itne naraaz kyun ho." Dhruv you feel you need to tell something to someone but I warn you don't. Don't listen to this devil dhruv! Don't turn a deaf ear towards your heart and follow the mind. Don't!

Dhruv beta kitne baar warn karu tujhe..tu gaya..punch bhi khayega abb.. Already shooting start hoga...please uss devil ki baat maat sun...tera bura haal hone wala hai.. thats all im saying to you.. you are a anari in this game thats why all the khiladis are walking over you!!

"Mai chup kyun rahoon?" Because all the allegations, all your thoughts, all your conclusions are baseless and hollow. You're hoping that after you voice your accusations, your pain will cease. Your broken heart will heal. But your agony will in fact double. Triple maybe! You'll be abandoned. By your friends, your family! This devil; he knows only how to break. Break trusts, break relationships, break hearts! You mustn't follow his dark ways. You mustn't consider his demonic advice. You mustn't say anything!

Never go for face value dhruv.. You are just looking for excuses to hurt people rather than looking into your own mistake

"Ek kaam karte hain, isse kuch nahi bataaenge. Waise bhi hamara plan fail ho chukka hai. Faltu mai isse stress kyun dein?" I'm sorry Navya! You don't deserve these tensions; you shouldn't be having to put up with my hopeless plans. But I'm helpless myself. I seem to know how to become the counsellor to everyone's problems, but my own list of issues doesn't seem to be depleting. You're being unnecessarily dragged into my hyped life and there is nothing I'm able to do in order to return the peace and relaxation factor in your life. You had warned that my plans will back-fire. That it was useless to invite an over-rated actor on board, but I unheard all your suggestions. I feel like I must reveal to you about the failure of yet another baseless plan of ours but you already seem to be too strained from the unexpected shocks we've been experiencing in our lives for the last few days. I want to tell you how much I wish for all this slipups to be sorted but perhaps the time isn't right. I need to express my own dilemmas to you but your need of rest and a calm mind is of more importance than my need. So I think I shouldn't say anything yet...

Navya...khud ki soch..you are pregnant for heaven's sake.. Think about your future and being a single mother.. There is no way you can keep nandu and manik apart.. no matter what you do..everything is futile when it comes to these two.. They are two people whose heart beats as one.. you cannot keep them apart. its true love...you see..

I ranted enough.. Sorry aaj thoda sa late hogaya hai.. 😳😳