OS: Bleeding Love

So, I loved today's episode and completely fell in love with Manik all over again. I know it's painful but I dig Manik's masochism. So this Os was a result of today's episode coupled with my reluctance to read uninteresting essays for my course.

The day seemed dull and drab with the clouds preventing what little sunshine that shone through in the morning. He looked out at his surroundings, people were moving around sluggishly and the humidity of the air made their clothes stick to their sweaty skin. The surrounding mood reflected his life, he mused sardonically. He was at crossroads, not knowing where to go, which step to take and how to move forward. Invariably, his thoughts moved over to Nandini that has has been the case since she entered his life five months ago. Nandini, this little chit of a girl, made him feel things he never felt before, do horrible things he would never have done otherwise and made him lose control. His mind took him back to the events of last night once again. He was wrought with guilt at the way he had treated her, he could feel her anguish when he looked into her eyes forcing her to drink that damned glass of vinegar in front of his friends. She had taken his challenge head on but only he knew how much she had hurt. He could feel her hurt, her ire, her frustration, her pain in that steely look she directed at him before gulping down that drink in one long swig. However, little did she know that he suffered along with her, she could express her discomfort in the form of hiccups but he had to swallow down the bile, keep in check the burning in his throat lest he let his facade slip, the facade of the cold ruthless monster he had promised her he would be from now on.

She didn't know how much he was hurting himself by hurting her and neither will she ever know how much her tears affected him. He had decided long back that he would not give her the same amount of control he did before. No, he would keep his emotions in check, he would remain the cold arrogant "monster" he was before she came into his life, he would not care for anybody else's feelings and he would not trust anyone with his heart ever again. Feelings and trust...huh? He laughed deprecatingly. He had seen the outcome of laying bare his heart out to someone and he would not make the same mistake again. Feelings and emotions only resulted in a world of pain. He had trusted her with his deepest secrets, he had unlocked his frozen heart to feel and experience those unnamed emotions people call "love", he had let slip his control over things for once and she had betrayed his trust, his faith in her and believed that Nyonika over him. He still hurt every time he recalled Nandini's uncertain face as she was questioned about his involvement in Soha's death and even after a week, it cut as deep as it had back in that courtroom.