Apologies.

At one in the morning, I lay on bed and suddenly, a train of thought runs in my mind, mad as a hatter. I twist and turn feeling like an embalm, but soon with a jerk, I wake up just to gaze outside the window, trying to live under the starlit night. The moon, like a flower with a silent delight smiles at me, and I look away, just to behold it singing in the sky. I give a quick smile to myself, wondering, if that could be a sign to what am unaware of. I try perishing the endless thought, and just in time when I'd decided to sway it away, there flickers the brightest star, just like her, ceaseless of it's motion, shining only to break the still.

Observing the strange unheavenly glare, I remind myself about the winter dawning, remembering how the cold winters are always lonely, albeit, it gathers around people for a great fire, but the lowering smoke is lost on the hazy dark sky, and as quick as a lightning. But, as I stood to take a walk, I paused, recalling the tender nights and gave praise to God above. For the gentle wind that does move, I stand, invisibly, couldn't help but shed tears from the depth of some despair. I look up with grieving little, but did not mourn; deciding to comfort the heavy heart, I told him my fears, of my silent hurts.

Doomed like Odysseus, I understand sorrow of a bliss, realizing at the end of day the looming darkness does bring peace. As the moon was busy beaming, the dark mother approached, gliding near me, I looked, and away, and looked again, and suddenly to greet my look, I see a treetop gently swaying to the light breeze, and to my surprise I see fireflies glowing, or maybe singing in its bloom, may be frozen or may be buoyed. As the night was slowly withdrawing, bursting into another day of joy and fear, I reckon, how little changes can crumple you, and I apologies for losing myself over and over again, knowing, maybe just maybe I need a new world to inherit a new start. As I slowly make my way through the end of the room, I realize the clock is droning minute by minute. It's half past three, when I agree to sit down by my bed and get over with this awful feeling, wondering, if I got down on my knees and tell her I am hers forever, would she get down on hers too and take my hand just to remind me that I can tend to make mistakes? Trembling, in ghastly fear, I tell myself, "We'll live and love forever."

Welcoming the dawn outside, I imagine thee to pour some sleep on my head, protecting me with a cloak over my shoulder in this soft still night that surrounds me like a nightly predators and that someday, she'll realize, she is all I ever wanted.