Nitica this is for you to cheer u up

Nitica, to chher you up, I have some jokes here for you. I am terribly sorry.
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A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO.

This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the Facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"

The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks what that goof-off was doing here.

One of the workers mutters with a sheepish grin, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

***

Nothing but the truth

At a recent trial in a small Arkansas town, a very stately, poised, and well known elderly Christian woman was called to the stand to testify. She placed her hand on the bible and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

The prosecuting attorney strode up to the witness box and began to address her, saying, "now Mrs. Jones you have just sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth," and since she had known him from a child, in order to establish his own credibility as an upstanding member of the local community, he asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" What happened after that is recorded below. She responded, "why yes, I certainly do know you, Mr. Williams, I've known you ;since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you are a rising big shot when you haven't the sense to realize you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pushing shyster." yes indeed, I know you quite well.

The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for a few minutes. Then, he slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and juror's faces, not to mention the court reporter who documented every word. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney? She again replied, "why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He is lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. The man is not able to build or keep a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention that he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him quite well. The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen in the progressive act of sliding further and further down in his chair, trying to hide under the table. Laughter mingled with shock, rippled through the courtroom, and the audience was on the verge of chaos. At this point, the old judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a quiet, but firm voice, said, "if either of you morons asks her if she knows me, you're going to jail."

** Post was edited by Viewbie to make it easier to read**

gud one []although it wasnt addressed to me 😆 😆

Phoenix..........my sides are cracking!😆😆😆

Yours truly Naina.😉

That is superb. Even I am cheered up. 😆. Nitoo di what happenned. R u upset.

lol. could use some editing though!

😆thank u soo much for this