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Random Jokes
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warning levels will be raised
A man and a woman go to the carnival every year. Every time the man says,"Anna can we ride them airplanes that goes up for a couple of minutes then comes back down?"
The woman always replied by saying,"We don't need to spend any extra money on them airplanes,its to expensive.Ten dollars is ten dollars.
Tom, the pilot, said," Larry, every year I hear you say you want to ride my airplanes, and every year Anna says it's too expensive. I'll make you a deal, if I do all of my flips and tricks with you in there with me, and you don't say one word, I'll give you the ride for free.
Anna and Larry discussed it and decided they would take the deal.They got up in the air and Tom did all of his tricks and flips.
Tom said,"Larry I just knew you'd say something on that first flip,but you didn't!
Larry replied," i was going to say something when Anna fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.
The woman always replied by saying,"We don't need to spend any extra money on them airplanes,its to expensive.Ten dollars is ten dollars.
Tom, the pilot, said," Larry, every year I hear you say you want to ride my airplanes, and every year Anna says it's too expensive. I'll make you a deal, if I do all of my flips and tricks with you in there with me, and you don't say one word, I'll give you the ride for free.
Anna and Larry discussed it and decided they would take the deal.They got up in the air and Tom did all of his tricks and flips.
Tom said,"Larry I just knew you'd say something on that first flip,but you didn't!
Larry replied," i was going to say something when Anna fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.
A fruit farmer hired two new workers for his fields, but before he sent them out for the day's work, he told them he had just one rule: don't steal any fruit. The two agreed to obey the rule.
After the day was over, the two workers came in to report to the farmer. He asked them if they had stolen any fruit, and immediately their conscience forced them to tell the truth.
"Yes, we did. We ate some when we got hungry," they said.
The farmer replied, "Ok, here is your punishment. I want each of you to go pick ten of your favorite fruit and come back to me."
The men couldn't believe their ears. This seemed more like a reward than a punishment!
After fifteen minutes, the first thief came back with ten cherries. The farmer promptly told him that as part of his punishment, he would have to stuff each cherry up his nose. The thief was upset about this, but he knew he had done wrong, so he slowly began to push the cherries up his nose one by one.
As he was working on the third cherry, he began to laugh hysterically. The farmer asked him, "What's so funny?"
The thief replied, "The other guy is out there picking watermelons!"
A man was out for a walk and saw a funeral procession. But this one was strange. There was two hirsch... then a man and a dog walking behind them... then a very long line of people.
Curious, he went up to the man and asked, "who died?" The man answered "my mother-in-law and my wife" So then the man asked "if you don't mind me asking, how did they die? " The man answered "my dog killed them" The man thought for a moment then asked "Can I borrow your dog?" The man pointed behind him and said "Get in line"
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