Random Jokes

Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don't come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,

Dil badal na dena sim ki terha
Mohabbat low na krna battery ki terha
Pyar kam na krna balance ki terha
Hamesha meri zarurat mehsus karna charger ki terha

Attitude of girls:

When a boy sends dirty sms
she laughs for 10 minutes,
forward dat to her friends n
then replies the boy.
"i dont like that kind of sms ok?" :p ;->

1st Friend: me ne khat likha tha k meri shadi per ana.
tum q nahi aye.

2nd Friend: mujhe khat mila he nahi
1st Friend: me ne likha tha k khat mily ya na mily tum zaror ana.:-)

Why Did Lady Throw Out Her Mother-In-Law?
Because
Baba Ramdev (Yoga walay) Said
"Apni Saans Ko Bahar Nikalo..!!"

Baap: beta shadi k din susral walay
ghari dein tu suit mang lena.
Scooter dein tu car mang lena,
dokan dien tu ghar

beta: dady larki dein tu oski maa mang lon?

He said… Do u love me just coz
my father left me a fortune?
She said… No stupid, I'd love u no matter
who left you the money!

Professor: Chemical symbol of Barium?
Student: BA

Professor: For sodium?
Student: NA

Professor: What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Student: BANANA

susti ki intiha,
Boy:papa aik glass paani de do
Papa:khud le lo
Boy:plz de do naa
Papa:Ab manga tou thappar maronga
Boy:Thappar marnay ao tou paani lete aana:-)

Biwi(Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!

Husband (Pyar Se):
To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho?

Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked"Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?"
Wife:"Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!"
Husband:"Bakri se hi poch raha hon"

Husband wife mein larai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,

Husb:Rat ko phone pay,"Khanay mein kia hai"
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aonga, tum kha kar so jana:D

Girl:Me tumse shadi nahi ker sakti
isliye ye lo apne love letters
or mere mujhe wapis karo!

Boy bari c basket samne rakhte howay,
Is me se jo jo tumharay hain nikal lo!

Man standing on the scale,
holding his stomach in.
Wife:I do not think that is going to help.
Man:Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?

A man sees a fat man
sitting in a train cabin.

Taunting, he asks:
Is this cabin for elephants only!

Fat man humbly replies:
No!Even monkeys like you can sit!

Boy:I love u
Girl:Me too
Boy:Tum mujhe kitna pyar karti ho?
Girl:Jitna tum mujhe karte ho
Boy: U cheater..
main samjha tum waqai mujh se pyar karti ho

Pundit:-Tumhare jeevan me 6 larkian ayengi.
Bow:Wow, kia bat hai.
Pandit:Ziada khush hone ki baat nahin hai.
1 ghar wali or 5 betiyan hain

1 Boy:Yar larkion ko "I love you"
kehnay ki sub se achi jaga kon si hai?
2 boy:Mazaar
1Boy:woh kion?
2boy:kion k wahan unke paon mein chappal nahin hoti.

Teacher:what is skeleton?
Student:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Impact of Movies:

Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?

Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!

Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.
Criminal: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police:Kion has rahe ho?
Criminal:Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hon.!

Doctor:
Ye syrup 2 spoon subha,
2 dopahar,
2 raat ko,
3 din tuk lena hay

Patient:apna dawai apna pas rakho
hamara ghar me itna chamach(spoon) nahi hy.

Teacher. Bachon wada kro cigrett shrab nahi pioge.
bachey:nahi pienge.
Teacher:larkio ka pecha nahi karoge
bachey:nahi karnge
Teacher:un pr awazen nahi kaso ge.
bachey: nahi kasenge.
Teacher: apni zindagi watan pr qurban karoge.
bachey: karenge,asi zindgi ka karna bhi kia he.

Wife:Please bike taze na chalao
mujhey dar lag raha hay.

Husband: Agar tujhy bhi dar lag raha hay
to meri tarah ankhein band kar lay.:P

Wife:
Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay,
Main aap ko save karti,

Husband:
Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti,
Main her haftay tumhe change karta

If dentists make films,?the names will be -
*Daant ho na ho
*Jaanam brush karo
*Aa ab clean karen
*Kabhi teeth kabhi gum
*Humara daant aapke paas hai!:-)

lol

🤣 🤣 🤣 damn funny jokes...