Can she ever get rid of narcissism and self obsession? If so, when?? - Page 2

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Sandhya.A thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#11

Originally posted by: Reemirocks

Jalal had warned her about Jodha being a strong competitor. Advice is also recommending someone certain things to keep in mind. And about hb and sb, I would say may be you are right but advice is given only when someone thinks, the other person needs it. Its not that they'll go to anyone and start advicing them. Its ok! I respect your point of view.👍🏼


Do you do that to your own family members? Advice them only when you think they need them or will take them. May be with a new acquaintance you may feel hesitant as you will not know how they will take it.
Warning is different from advising.
abhi786 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#12
I feel Ruqu is one grey character... Ruqu till now only considered Jalaal her own... She is buzy with harem & jalaal always pampered her, even though he went to other begums for pleasure he showed her attention towards her...

But now his attention is diverted to JO, he is drawn towards JO and somewhere wants ruqu to understand that he likes to spend sometime with JO... Ruqu understands it but wants to hear it from Jalaal, why he is attracted to JO, which any women can feel when they are loosing their husband to other women...

Even though their is polygamy marriage, still till now she didn't faced the problem, with JO she is taking away Jalaal & also auda... In this time she needs Jalaal, HB or salima who stood with her and tell her, but now she is not in understanding stage, as MA spoiled her thiking & her jealousy for JO is driving her ... Hope gulbadan begum helps her and realize the path she is going will only destroy her relationship with jalaal...

I want to see Will she be happy being Begum to Jalaal or will she happy with Auda leaving Jalaal or will she wants both Jalaal & auda...I want she herself stood first understand what she want...If she want Jalaal only, then she lost it and if she is happy in auda without jalaal may be she will get that, but both she can't get..

Till now she didn't compromise and enjoyed being KHAAS BEGUM, but now she has to accept that she is one among the khaas, and it's Jalaal who accepted JO begum KHASS..
myviewprem thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#13

Originally posted by: Sandhya.A


Do you do that to your own family members? Advice them only when you think they need them or will take them. May be with a new acquaintance you may feel hesitant as you will not know how they will take it.
Warning is different from advising.

Jalal must understand that he gave too much love and attention for 10 years to Ruqaiah suddenly one day he cannot star ignoring her. Jalal has to tell her something what is their relationship in future
love? Nooo he does not want or care from the day of marriage
only phyysical? Nooo he has many wives and cocubbines
only audha and power? Noo he wants to give it to jodha and salima(but salima is sister to ruqaiah, ruqu has no problem with salima being khaas its only jodha she has issue that she is khaas because she is not Ruqaiah's own sister and she is also wanting wife relation from jalal that salima does not want from him )
divorce? Nooo an emperor shall not divorce wife
So Ruqaiah is confused what does jalla want?
If he does not want her in his life as wife as khaas begum only friend only cousin sister he has to clarify right he just cannot act like some stranger with her because he has found new love. He has to clarify he has to tell her something else she will keep reacting the way she is doing. That is human psychology.
Even a 2 year old child gets threatened by a new baby sibling if parent starts giving more attention here its grown up 20 year old adult. Forget that i have dogs and cats at home and if i give extra attention to one the others immediately leave whatever they are doing and come running and want me to give them same attention i give to the first dog else they will get angry and not allow me to play further with first one. If one gives me one handshake another gives two or three. Its the same for human psychology also.
So what should jalal do? with animals and kids its easy take handshakes from all dogs and not only one and leave others. With kids get all of them gifts of equal price equal value and what they like its easy. The tricky relationship comes with adults whether a wife, parent, sibling they are not innocent and fooled like animals and kids.
Just tell her i never loved you as a wife, you are just a cousin sister and friend for me and shall remain that for life. But tell it slowly do not tell her angrily or threatening way softly and seeing correct time. And give her a few options how she can salvage her pride her life after 10 years of marriage with him and being khaas begum. Elseee honestly i do not want Ruqaiah attempting suicide to get his attention or out of desperation(remember jodha tried the same as she felt unwanted by parents, siblings and husband once, she still had salima, hamida, rahim and tried suicide) Ruqaiah has no one how much pressure she must be inside her mind although outside she acts(yes she is acting) like everything normal between her and jalal.
Did not jalal feel devastated that bakshi cheated on him. Ruqaiah has same feelings but she is currently confused because neither jalal calrifies and maham is driving her crazy and watching the fun.
Exquisite_me thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#14

Originally posted by: myviewprem

This Ruqaiah has one issue for 10 years jalal came to talk to her, play with her spend time with her. He went to other begums only for pleasure not for companionshi[. Jodha came along and he felt she is better companion to pass his time than Ruqaiah. Now Ruqaiah is lonely suddenly her only friend and companion has gone and she is scared her BEK position too will go. So she is upset and trying to attract jalal towards her by hook or crook. But he is ignoring her.

How this situation will resolve?
See its not easy to let go off best friends/husbands who are close to you to someone else. If they no longer there its different you know they still loved you and are there somewhere watching over you. But if they are in front of your eyes on earth and go away to someone else, start giving someone else your place your attention then it takes a long long long time to accept. Especially Ruqaiah she is lonely she has no friend like moti, no work like jalal has, no family like jalal and jodha(no sibling, parents who can give her support) so that is very very tough situation. So she try to cling on to jalal and harm his current love from whom she is threatened.
The only way i can see out of this situation is when someone comes in Ruqaiah's life who will take jalal's place and give her unconditional love and time. In a polygamous 16th century situation that can only be children. I guess once Salim arrives and she finds that unconditional love from him she will let go off jalal, her audha, her jealousy of jodha and be at peace. Till then i doubt this issue will be resolved.
I am not sure why but Hamida, Gulbadan, Bakshi, Salima do not spend time with her or spend time with her like they do with Jodha or even jalal. That is main reason for Ruqaiah insecurity other than jalal none of her relatives have tried making friends with her(may be because of her snobbish behaviour but even jalal had such behaviour for long after marrying jodha). And anyways own kids are always own and others kids even related are always others kids. No mother, sister etc can feel equal love towards nephew, neices, cousin sister like they feel for own son and daughter that is bitter fact of life. That is why i said Ruqaiah requires unconditional love to come out of her insecurity and that can only be a child and that can only be Salim. Children rarely understand the conncept of step mother and father or step brother and sister etc because they are innocent. So they treat all relations equally atleast till they are big. So may be Salim will give her that unconditional love and later Khurram that will make her let go off her insecurities and be at peace. Lonliness is biggest bane of humans once that lonliness goes off you give a damn to audha, jealousy, clinging to husband who does not love you etc. That time shall come come to Ruqaiah but not so soon because currently no one is there to give her that unconditional love and get her out of her lonleliness and insecurity.

You remember Tasleem part? When Ruqaiya and Jalal were to divorce each other, then, Ruqaiya had said that Jalal was her only friend because since the beginning she never made any attempt to make acquaintances other than Jalal. For her, Jalal's company was enough. So if you are blaming Jalal's relatives for not approaching Ruqaiya, then Ruqaiya also has to be blamed for not approaching anyone else other than Jalal. And I think relationships can't be made this way. Its not about who should approach first. I think it has to come from both sides. So both are at fault. And talking about loneliness, before Jodha came, Ruqaiya might have never felt lonely because then Jalal used to give her a lot of attention. Now after Jodha's arrival, with her own stupid antics she is deteorating her friendship with Jalal. So, today if she is lonely, then one of the reasons is she herself. I agree with all points related to Ruqaiya's loneliness to get away with Salim's arrival(I must appreciate this thought👍🏼)but don't you think its too long to wait for Salim for Ruqaiya to change????? I know it will take time, but so much time?

Exquisite_me thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#15

Originally posted by: Sandhya.A


Do you do that to your own family members? Advice them only when you think they need them or will take them. May be with a new acquaintance you may feel hesitant as you will not know how they will take it.
Warning is different from advising.

Advice and warning are different things. Agreed. But what I've observed is that Jalal and Ruqaiya have always talked that way only( according to me). So may be that is the way he tries to make her realize something. I hope you are getting what I exactly want to say? And I agree that to advice someone is our duty and whether to accept it or not depends on the other person, but you know as Salima Begum asked Hamida Banu Begum to talk to Ruqaiya about murtis, she said yesterday that Ruqaiya Begum is not a kid that she has to be made to sit down and then everyone would start advising and explaining her. I think I will go with HB in this regard. So its just that way. I am really very sorry but I beg to differ from you regarding this. I hope its ok dear.


MaddyO thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#16

Originally posted by: Donjas

Ruqaiya is a very important person in Akbar's life and the CV's are not going to rewrite history.

What I think they are going to do is this, they are going to take her to the dark side and then slowly bring her back. Redeeming her character will give the CV's, ammo for several episodes.

Her redemption will be complete when she saves the life of either Jodha or maybe Salim.



I think MA truth coming out is going to shake her also

That she became so much of a puppet in hands of a person, who gave her biggest pain the MC so she will start to retrospect then maybe

MaddyO thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: neha_only

She will never wake up ... She is not real human being she is a character n CV can't handle real polygamous relationship with respect n justice...

...she was once grey with good heart

So many time she her self warned about MA to Jalal ... CV thinks they can't handle it ...

For eg ... Jalal always goes to her first on his birthday... But after his love with jodha what he should have to do ... Remember she is not his friend only she is his first wife so for new relation how would they show he loves jodha but rukayya always on top in line ...

They changed her completely ... She was near to every other person thts why people felt for her ...but bec of daily soap formula with reasonable rukayya AKDHA relationship was going no wherer so now here we are .
..

Enjoy love ..on the stake of. Friendship ...CV can't think better than this..

I want to ask people do they really want rukayya to become good...?
They really want Jalal again starting to care rukayya again ... .?



There is some reseach that (Abhay & Lashy have mentioned) that REAL Rukayya was very inesucre and arrogant person, that after some years Akbar stopped going to her as wife though he always gave her respect and kept her Audha


MaddyO thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: Reemirocks

Disclaimer-Guys and Girls, here I'm talking about Ekta's Ruqaiya! And it has got nothing to do with real Ruqaiya Sultan Begum. (Hayee! aaj kal to disclaimer dene ke baad bhi log bahut kuch kar jaate hain. So all Ruqaiya fans, main pehle se hi bol deti hun, chappal mat utha lena! Kahin ye na ho ki wahan Ekta, Jodha Akbar serial chod ke jaa rahi ho aur yahaan main Jodha Akbar forum😆). On a serious note please don't start hardcore bashing of characters. Lets keep it a healthy discussion.(I know everyone will😊)

Ruqaiya, do you even realize with how much desperation I wanted to sympathize with you?????And its not now. It has been a long time I'm trying to do this. But alas! You never allow me to do that! Never ever! Sometimes when I try to convince myself to like you, the very next moment you do something which makes me feel that I'm expecting the unexpected.

I can't even blame Mahamanga entirely for instigating Ruqaiya. Had she not made herself mentally vulnerable enough, then Mahamanga's "sautan ka ghar tudwao" and "audha bachao" lectures would not have affected her a bit. But then in this case I would definitely say its 50-50. If Mahamanga is to be blamed for instigating her, then Ruqaiya has to be blamed for getting easily manipulated and not using her brains! People hear what they want to hear, see what they want to see and believe what they want to believe. And so is with Ruqaiya who only wants to listen to Mahamanga. She says with pride that she has control over Jalal's mind but I guess in that process she lost her own!

How can someone stoop so low? How are you gonna win when you ain't right within? She was shouting on the top of her voice about Mughal tehzeeb. But was it not herself who disrespected it? Had she got the slightest of repentance, she would not have shouted at Jodha for asking her about the same(precap scene). I remember her saying something like this to Jodha- Jo humara saath dete hain, Ruqaiya hamesha unki bani rehti hai! Definitely not this way!!!!! Had it been for Jalal's love and only selfless love I would have definitely felt bad for her! But what is this? Is she gonna take that Begum-E-Khaas title with her to heaven or hell(wherever you go! real one must have gone to heaven and this reel one has chances only if she changes herself for better) and start ranting about it over there even? Give me a break! Every person is not deserving of all that he or she wants. But then, when we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it. The same is with Ruqaiya and the soon she realizes it, better for her.

Be it Jalal, Gulbadan phuphi, Salima Begum or Hamida Banu Begum, everyone did advice her. Each one of them was talking sense but what caught her attention is Mahamanga's nonsense. This happens when you talk sense to a person whose mind is preoccupied with jealousy, arrogance, rudeness, insecurity and a hell lot of pride. Who says only love is blind? Those who think so, please add jealousy and insecurity to it. Insecurities have the ability to shape and mould our minds to live with everything that's bad. Jealousy?? What should I say about this? You can be the moon and still be jealous of stars. Its all on you. Those jealous are troublesome to others but torment to themselves. It contains more of self love than selfless love( how true is it in case of Ruqaiya). She is insecured about her relationship with Jalal but more than that she is insecured about her audha. And as such insecurity nourishes, relationship gets poisoned( see what happened today). Most bad behavior comes from insecurity.

Before a fall, comes pride(she has it since birth but these days, it has gone to another level, up the ladder in a negative way) . A person who has too high an opinion of his or her own worth, rank, power and qualities has a nasty fall. And why do I feel that the attitude she bears, she is going to fall several times, not only in eyes of her best friend or husband or shahenshah but everyone. Is that not against the shaan of BEGUM-E-KHAAS? Arrogance is an unhealthy ego in need of repair. It makes you lose your senses. It has only a sharp tongue and a pointing finger(so does Ruqaiya has) .When a person becomes very much proud, his or her mind shuts the door of respect to others(Salima Begum and Rukaiya confrontation).

Wake up Ruqaiya! Wake up! You need to know the difference between right and wrong. You need to recognize people! You do foolish things and do them with great enthusiasm. Couldn't you try for something better? Couldn't you apply your mind for something good? Come out of your own false world where you have trapped yourself and face the truth. Enough of self obsession and narcissism! Its high time you need to change. The way you think, that way you are and that way you act. So for thinking good, you need a good dose of wisdom. But at the same time I would say that wisdom cannot be imparted even though tried hard. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else. Knowledge can be communicated and taught, but not wisdom. One has to find it and live it on own. So unless Ruqaiya herself makes attempts to redeem herself, nothing can be done. She has to fight within herself to remove the cobwebs of evilness.




Reemi you are a super insightful writer
Esp loved the lines in bold

LOVED your post 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

I hope you are more active on the forum, love to read your posts

Exquisite_me thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#19

Originally posted by: MaddyO



Reemi you are a super insightful writer
Esp loved the lines in bold

LOVED your post 👏

I hope you are more active on the forum, love to read your posts

Awww...Thank you🤗 And sorry yaar! I totally forgot about font size. I'm so sorry. Hope ki tumhe zyada problem na hui ho!
minnie2308 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#20
A nice post. straight from the heart.
And I believe Ruq can never rid of self -obsession. She does not look beyond herself.
Jalal has finally provided her a good reality check. She needs to know that she cannot get away with everything now. The dressing down was needed. I wish it was done in the Harem court rather than Ruq's hojra.

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