Posted:
I... did not expect this to be so long when I started to type this. No one I know is watching Jhalak this year, so I'm just going to inflict my opinion on you all. Deal with it.
Here goes.
I'd been looking forward to this new season of Jhalak for a long while. After, for once in my life, my favourite actually won something, I was over the moon. I was convinced that this would be the beginning of a new era with the dancing and the judgment being taken to a whole new level... until they came out with the first promo, that is. What I got was Jacqueline Fernandez, obnoxiously golden background, Jacqueline Fernandez's legs, a gigantic wine glass, and Jacqueline Fernandez's lips.. what the hell was I watching? I had to double check and see if I didn't accidentally click on a new Lux advert. Nope. I literally witnessed Jacqueline Fernandez looking all seductive in a wine glass while a song calling her beautiful played in the background as the promo for a CELEBRITY DANCE COMPETITION.
So, basically, what they were saying is that the thing I have to look forward to the most this season is... Jacqueline Fernandez being hot. K. See you next season.
BUT. I recently decided to catch up with the show for old time's sake. I mean, I've followed eight seasons before this. Even though I don't remember much of the earlier seasons besides the winners (and that Saroj ji x KSG is OTP), it's just that after eight years, I'm in wayy to deep to quit just because of one promo. Even if it was annoying af. So I gave it a shot. And it is official. The makers have lost their marbles.
Yes. I solely joined IF so I could rant about it. Fite me.
So then I found out it now airs once a week. That's fine. I could do once a week. Heck, that's possibly a good thing considering they won't have extra time to squeeze in all the useless gimmicks and movie promos and cringe-fest that is their drag-queen masti and... wait, WHAT?! They're splitting up the performances within the span of two weeks?! What in the actual... wut? In what way did they think this was actually a good idea? Or even an acceptable one? By introducing this new ARP thing, they already made sure the audience felt disconnected from the whole show. And on top of that, this. HOW do they expect people to get invested when most would already have forgotten the first set of performances by the time the next set happens? Seems like they were they trying to hammer in the concept of "no audience attention required" in case the people missed the memo the first time.
Enough about that, though. Let's talk about the judges. Or a specific one. Now to preface this, I have absolutely no problem with Jacqueline Fernandez whatsoever and I'm sure she's a fine actress and human being. However... a dance judge? I'd never have pegged her for a dancer. If you ask me who the best bollywood dancer is, her name wouldn't be the first on my list. Or the thirteenth. I mean, I guess she dances well enough but is "dances well enough" literally all the qualification you need to become a judge these days? Apart from being hot, that is. So in case it wasn't apparent, I had my reservations regarding her. But in all my reservations, what couldn't have occurred to me in a million years was that my biggest gripe with her would be that she is the fangirl from hell. I mean, holy CRAP, woman, calm down. Take a deep breath. In. Out, In. Out Now, get a grip.
I'm not trying to hate here. It's just that I can't take her seriously as a judge if she constantly acts like the human equivalent of CAPSLOCK and !!1!. What exactly is she bringing to the table here? Except for being the personification of the season's tag line, "hot hai", that is. I get that she's trying to be encouraging but she's been too afraid of hurting the contestant's feelings so far. Saying "you're very good, it was amazing" to every single act isn't helpful. In fact, it's the exact opposite of that I hope she takes it down a notch or five in the coming weeks and finds the right balance between being encouraging and providing actual critique. Which is an art Ganesh has mastered. The dude is always on point with analysis and critique while empathisizing with the contestant enough that they don't feel that their hard work is being undermined even when he criticizes them. He's the judge Jhalak needs but not one it deserves.
As for Karan... he's Karan. Nothing more to say. Manish, though, continues to be a gem. Best host on a reality show tbh. But holy crap, was that thing with Surveen and Anila Kapoor awkward. W*F dude.
Alrighty, then. On to the contestants. This is where the ranting stops because with everything that they've gotten wrong, they somehow managed to get a decent lot competing this time.
So I have a confession to make... I barely know anyone this season. The contestants I'm at the very least vaguely familiar with would be Arjun Bijlani (from LRL and MJHT), Salman (because Salman), Karishma and Nora from Bigg Boss (can't say they left a good impression), Gaurav (I REFUSE to call him Chutki) and... that's it. A grand total of 5 out of 12. So let it be known that I come without any biases. Okay? Good. Let's get the people I know out of the way first.
Arjun. This dude tries, I'll give him that. It's obvious that he really, really wants to do well which is why I don't want to slam his dancing skills, even if they leave much to be desired. He's got a good choreographer in Bhawna so hopefully she'll help him improve over time. What they need to do though is to figure out what Arjun's strengths are and work to them. Or at the very least, not attempt something as outlandish as Paso Doble in their second week W*F. Please. Never again. That was painful. Too much at once for a non dancer is a recipe for disaster.
He's a great sport though, putting up with Manish's merciless teasing.
Salman. Salman, Salman, Salman... What do I even say? This show should should be renamed "Sasural Salman Ka". It's like his second home now. From choreographer to challenger to contestant... should we expect him as a judge next season? Or is he going to co-host with Manish before that? Perhaps try his hand at being a make-up artist too? The who handles harnesses in arial acts? A spot boy? When will this end, Salman? He just keeps coming back, each time in a completely different avatar. You know the only thing that hasn't changed though? The repetitiveness of his choreography (oh, snap).
He's good. He's really good. No matter what I think about his participation, or that I always have to check that no one else was standing behind me during his performances, he's good, and I can't take that away from him. But he's always good in the same way, you know what I mean? He has kept doing the same moves over and over across the years to the point where what was once impressive now fails to make me bat an eye. It has lost all its novelty. I'm curious to see how and if he overcomes that and actually manages to bring something fresh to the table. Time will tell.
You will notice I haven't brought up his choreographer. That's because he doesn't have one.
I guess I don't mind him though, for the most part. Because there's no way in hell he's going to win. He's just there as a hurdle for the actual winner to overcome. His participation itself has raised enough eyebrows. I doubt they'll risk the potential outcry of foul play that'll be caused if he wins.
Karishma. Dear sweet lord, can you just bugger off with that sob story of yours? Especially if it's going to be a self absorbed whine about how she never got an award. No. One. Cares. This is a DANCE show. Not Bigg Boss. They've even gotten rid of audience voting so there's no chance of milking sympathy votes. Then why are we being subjected to this? Ugh. This is reminding me of how insufferable I used to find her.
Anyway, she's a good dancer. And he performance was decent. Nothing memorable, but okay enough for the second week. However, I felt that her costume accentuated her limbs, which is probably something she should avoid, considering how her height makes her look a tad awkward even if she's doing the moves perfectly. Her choreographer needs to find a way to work around the height difference. Or with it, if he's creative enough.
Nora. She's a good dancer, though a little too determined to make the world believe she isn't trained. While I understand why making that distinction would be important if she's telling the truth, it just comes across as her trying to damper the expectations people have from her. Feels like she's trying to do away with the "trained" tag so the judges would be more lenient with her in their scoring. And I guess that's what rubs me the wrong way a bit. She was very in her element when she performed so naturally, she owned the (kinda forgettable, sorry) choreography. I'm curious about how she'd fare in different dance forms. She's good, but I haven't seen anything yet to take note of her.
Gaurav. Just ENOUGH with the inane "haha overtly forward drag-queen" gag, please. Of course, he was eliminated. How could he not be, when he was never given a fair chance? He should've participated back when Jassi was all the rage. As himself.
Anyway, good riddance Chutki, and tough luck, Gaurav.
Now, for the people I don't know at all.
Shantanu. Consider me impressed. I loved how clean and sharp his moves were, the ease and finesse with which he did even the most ridiculous steps, and the overall charisma he exudes while performing. When he's on the stage, you can't take your eyes off of him. I'm expecting more from him though. His performance, while a lot of fun, wasn't absolutely MIND-BLOWING, considering it was his forte. I want to see a legitimately memorable hip-hop performance from him at some point. Of course, it's literally the second week and the mind-blowing stuff usually comes later in the season, but I really want him to deliver eventually. I also am looking forward to more diversity in the dance forms. I don't know his choreographer so I don't know what to expect from her. But she's got a brilliant partner and I hope she knows how to utilize him. A potential finalist. Or perhaps even a winner?
Shakti. Whelp. Now THAT was unexpected. I had completely written him off when I first saw him and he not just exceeded my expectations, he stomped all over them and bitchslapped me for judging someone's skills based on their face. In my defense though, he just has an absolutely harmless, unassuming, pyara sa bechara face. How was I supposed to know he had it in him? Granted, part of it was very smart choreography from Suchitra but I was pleasantly surprised. They definitely have potential to reach the top. Good job. Lesson learned.
Helly. She definitely seems to be an... exuberant... young woman. I'm reserving judgement on whether it's an an obnoxious way or not. Her performance though, I can judge. And it was subpar. I was cringing because she was trying so hard to manage all that she was given but it was just too much for her to handle. Like... W*F Jai. HOW have you been in Jhalak all these years and still not learned? Helly herself is not very good. She tries, and she does somewhat have a sense of rhythm but her movements are quite clumsy and clunky. But this is where the choreographer should come in. She's exactly the kind of contestant who could have had the perfect "non-dancer to dancer" journey that everyone insists on their children's lives jhalak is about, but the moment she got discarded on Jai's doorstep, it was over for her. He has to be one of the most restrictive, rigid dancer on the show. Yes, a dancer. He's not a proper choreographer until he actually learns how to tap into the potential of someone who isn't himself.
I hope he's careful in the future. Same as with Arjun, gradual improvement is the key.
Also, I adore contemporary but the overly melodramatic kind just looks idiotic when not done right.
Surveen. I expected her to be good, and she is. And Sanam is brilliant. Together I'm expecting great things out of them. This week's performance though, wasn't quite there. Don't get me wrong, I agreed with the scoring. Some of the lifts were quite mesmerizing and Surveen has a natural grace about her. But I just know that Sanam's a powerhouse and he's gotten a partner who can carry his choreography. And just like Shantanu (and I guess Salman, too), because this team is strong, I want more. They better not flub it is what I'm saying basically.
Okay, I know I said I come without any biases but I mayyy sorta have a soft spot for Sanam. Just a little. Based purely on his dancing skills of course. Ahem. Moving on.
Sidhanth. I sense some definite potential here. The choreography was a tad bit uninspired, but the execution on his end was very commendable. There was a punch in his moves that I just wasn't expecting. However, I hope his choreographer helps him own the choreography a little more. Some of his moves were surprisingly hard hitting, but I feel like he's restricting his body a bit as well. Just let loose and really go for it, Sid. I believe in you, soldier!
P2. Surprisingly low on energy. Which is frustrating because the choreography looked so promising. If only they had executed it well. I'm very disappointed with their performance this week. Especially considering their first performance was probably the best of the episode.
Harpal. He knows he's not winning. I know he's not winning. Since he's just there to have fun, I'mma let him do his thing. You go, sardar-ji. Kick some ass, while you're at it.
So... based purely on dancing, my current picks for the finals are: Salman, Shantanu, and Sana- I mean, Surveen. Shakti and Sidhanth have potential too. (What's with all the talented S's this season?) This could change as the season progresses as this seems to be a generally talented lot. And Salman is walking a fine line for me But for now, I'll stick with these.
Aaand, that's It. This write-up seems to have gotten a little out of hand. Whoops.
I really need to get a life.
In any case, hey guys.
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