The author does not take responsibility for any mental disorders caused by this story on the forum. All comments about the characters and others are made with the intent of entertaining everyone. Be warned that the plotline has been developed based on the whims and fancies of the author who has gone rather mad due to midterm exams....SO...
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3355&PN= 1http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3355&PN= 1š
To read Part 1, go to this link: http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=2728&PN= 3
Jassi Jaissi Hell mein bhi koi nahin (Part 2)
A Bodhisattva sits calmly on a cloud above a lapis lazuli lake in the Tusita heaven. A gandharava, which is a mischievous spirit from the realm of the devas, informs him with a snicker that six of the ten monks he had ordained last week had been led astray from their path by Mara, an envoy of Satan. "The demonesses from the Underworld easily seduced five of the monks while they had to send in Satan's to-be-successor to attract the sixth one. It was a part of his training into Devildom," the gandharava said, his bright eyes sparkling with humour.
The Bodhisattva's glowing face showed no sign of being perturbed by this news. "Who is the next target?" he asked simply. The gandharva waves his hand over the lake, creating ripples in the smooth mirror-like surface. They both watch as the setting sun casts hues of gold, pink and violet into the water. The Bodhisattva looks at the vision presented to him by the spirit and confirms its truth by using his psychic powers. "All I can say, my dear friend is that it will be very difficult to distract this monk from his meditation," he tells the gandharava in a kind voice.
Deep inside a lonely forest, Purab Mehra gained the divine eye and saw all of his previous lives. He found out that he had been married to Mallika, Pari, Arundhati and Maria. A different woman in every lifetime. An endless search for the perfect humsafar. No wonder I was so bad at relationships in this lifetime, he thought to himself. As he passes through the cycle of birth, death and rebirth, he gains a vision of the entire cosmos. He observes a young woman levitating high up in the air looking mournful and lost. "Where are you, Purab?" she calls.
Purab blesses her and decides that once he gains enlightenment, she will be his very first disciple. He observes the goings-on in the other realms with disinterest until he comes upon the lowest realm of them all. A young woman, her face and glasses caked with soot and grime, orders about a pair of rats in a broom closet in Satan's Mansion. "Come on, I am a C ā E ā O," she recites, in an attempt to teach the rats how to speak. The rats yawn and curl up in a corner to go to sleep. "Tum bhi naa! Armaan Sir ki tarah kuch nahin aata tum logon ko! Good for nothings!" she shouts shrilly.
In spite of the nails-grating-on-a-blackboard voice, Purab could sense the girl's confusion as she took the brush from a dustpan and began to pluck out each bristle playing a little game, "He forgave me, he forgave me notā¦"
Satan was getting highly annoyed with Lunatic Lassi in his realm. It would still be a few days before he handed over his pitchfork to his young successor and he was already regretting the decision he made by giving her a one way ticket to Hell. Armaan Suri, on the other hand, was quite enjoying himself amidst the fluttering bats of the demonic harem. Of course, that Jassi more often than not made herself a nuisance, but she was fairly useful for cleaning up messes he had made up.
His tail was growing quite long these days and the prongs at the end came in handy to use as a fork while eating food. "Armaan Sir!" crooned Jassi. Exasperated, Armaan opened one eye. "WHAT?" The demonesses laughed as Jassi looked confused and slightly hurt. "I thought that you will be happy that I saved you from getting into trouble with Satan Sir!" she complains. Armaan lets out a snort and pretends to choke on the piece of chicken in his mouth.
"Oh Armaan Sir, let me get you some water!" Jassi says, immediately snapping to attention. As she rushes off to find water in a volcanic lake, Armaan immediately stops choking and grins with satisfaction. At least she would be out of his hair for the time being. "Armaaaaaan, that was sooooo cleverrrrr!" purr the demonesses. "Come on! Now that Jassi is gone, lets play hide and seek," Armaan orders.
When all of this is going on, Satan consults with his minions about the next monk to lead astray. "The Bodhisattva says that there is one monk who will be impossible to distract from his meditation," an Uruk-Hai croaks, wiping slime from his mouth. "Oh, is he?" Satan smiles cruelly and orders the most beautiful demonesses of his realm to go and seduce the young monk.
"But we were playing Hide and Seek," Armaan whines. "Go play with your piranhas," Satan says dismissively. As Armaan sits down in a corner and sulks, Satan eagerly waits for his envoy Mara to return to him with the news. After some time, a furious Mara returns with his daughters and his army of a thousand demons. "Nothing distracts him! Temptations, hailstorms, arrows of fireā¦I've tried them all! I doubt that even your successor's Drag Queen get-up will work with this one," Mara says with a disgusted glance in Armaan's direction. "Hey!" Armaan complained. "It worked on that other monk!"
Satan ignored Armaan and thought deeply. There had to be a way to disturb the monk. It was now a matter of his prestige among the Orcs, Uruk-Hai and asuras of the Underworld. "Armaan Sir, your water!" Satan grimaces at the sound of Lunatic Lassi's voice. "Why do you always use my Piranha bowl for everything?" Armaan grumbles. "And I don't want any water!" Jassi looks at him angrily. After her tedious search for water in a place where it evaporates the minute it touches the ground, this is the "thanks" that she got from stupid Armaan Sir.
Gritting her metallic teeth, Jassi dumps the bowl of water over Armaan's head. "I aaaattte oooooo, assssiiii!" Armaan shouts between gargles of the water. Satan observes this interaction with interest. If anyone can annoy that monk to distraction, it would be Lassi! He decides with satisfaction. "Lassi, I have a job for you!"
Purab sits and meditates calmly, feeling peaceful now that Mara and the demonesses were gone. What he wasn't aware of was that just 20 feet away, a young woman was dusting grime off her fringe and glasses. "Yeh sab bhi mujhe hi karna padta hain! Armaan Sir ko to kuch aata nahin aur yeh Satan Sir bhi naaaā¦mujh par hi chillate hain," Jassi mutters to herself as she wipes the soot off her face with her shredded dupatta. Now where was the monk?
After a few minutes of walking, she decides to start singing loudly just in case the monk was nearby. "Kahiiiiin deeeeeep jale kahin dillllllā¦.Oh oh oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Purab concentrates on his meditation, thinking it is a hungry she-ghost again. Jassi moves a thick branch aside and comes into a clearing where she sees the monk meditating, his eyes closed.
She is struck by the aura of peace that surrounds him. Can I disturb him? She wonders. "Lassi! Awwwwk!" a raven caws into her ear. Jassi grits her teeth. "FINE!" she mutters harshly. She decides to do something she had never done before. Kneeling down before Purab and feeling extremely awkward doing so, she yells out, "PURAB SIR!" Purab is unaffected. "Awwwkk! Were you the Queen of England in a previous birth that you are attempting to anoint every man as a knight? Awwwk!" the raven croaks peevishly. "Why do you think Billu Papaji used to call her his Queen Victoria?" Purab says calmly without opening his eyes. "Ooohhhhhh! That's why!" Jassi says with awe.
For Jassi Jaissi Koi Hell mein bhi Nahin (Part 3), click on this link:
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3355&PN= 1
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