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d3c3nt thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#11
It would have been such a beautiful moment if both parents would have shown concern about their own daughter.

What i would have liked is that N called back, R told him Tumhari Beti Ko Tumhari zaroorat hai, N ask how and where Nishi is, R tells him she is here lying unconscious, not responding to medications, and then Nishi says Papa. N hears. R tells him that though she is unconscious she is going to put the phone on her ear and he should say something to her. N talks to Nishi, Nishi tries to move or open eyes both NR cry further i leave to creatives of IF.

This was the time to make both parents realize that kids need them both but again the creatives here have just failed to bring out the parent aspect in both N and R.

The point is that they should have given us a nice emotional connect between NR and Nishi.
goldstar678 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#12
Excellent sukhi,this is how a father will behave seeing his daughter on the hospital bed and knowing that she attempted suicide after just one year of her marriage.You described the emotions perfectly of Nachiket n the last one where you described his reaction seeing Ragini is perfect.
Given a chance,I can imagine RR performing in this whole scene with his mind blowing expressions which can move us too.This is how a normal parents will behave seeing the condition of their daughter.

But as I said, "Given a chance" and that's the key word here.

We are not going to witness even 1/5 of this in today's episode. I have already prepared for it mentally.
Vidya.CV thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#13

Sukhi Thank You ...😊 it's heart-whelming.. touching
If this can happen in today's episode... ??? beautifully sums up how a healthy father-daughter relationship looks like.

Nishi is a Daddys girl and always will be !!!
Nachiket is one of the most influential people in Nishi's life.After Ragini, its Only Nishi who can bring Joy or tears in Nachiket's Eyes


Edited by Vidya_Bng - 10 years ago
fan.matsh thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#14
It was too good... Very touching... U hv brought out the emotions extremely well...
Waiting for the next update...
poetic thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#15
Sukhi,
Thanks a for a beautifully written poignant moment, for NR.

It was a pleasure imaginign this scene as we all know we are not goign to see any such Private Emotions or Moments to cherish. Or associate with.

Will comment in details from home.
Edited by poetic - 10 years ago
ManiChakr thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#16

simply superb..
Awesome FF like these make us realise the potential of the show..and then NB would invariable kill it for us with her half cooked storeyline :(.

Originally posted by: ronitfan

The moment he heard about the attempted suicide, his brain stopped working. How could this be? How do things change so much in a matter of months? And this was his daughter they were talking about. There was no chance that she would do something like this. She was so much in love. They were so much in love. His heart sunk a little more knowing he was miles away from her.

And almost immediately,his thoughts shifted to the woman on the phone. Ragini. Her weak voice on the other end was not making things easier. He'd hardly ever witnessed her in this state.The tremble in her voice shook his heart to the core.She begged him to come. And he did not need telling. He almost panicked on the phone. He wanted to ask so many questions about her but he decided it was best to go there first. His mind was in a state of havoc. He did not register the 22 hours he spent on that nonstop flight to Mumbai.

Heading to the hospital as fast as he could,he stopped at the sight of his little girl.It was like life had drained out of her. It was a sight no parent can be ever prepared for. There was no one else in the room but in the quick glance that he could afford, he identified Ragini's purse on the chair besides the bed.. the bed that had Nishi.. her Nishi.. and as the realization dawned more and more with every second her lifeless form filled up his vision - his Nishi.. their Nishi.. tears quickly blurred his vision as he stepped inside the room and hurried over to her side, taking her hand in his and collapsing on the chair.

He could not bring himself to even say her name, and his mind could not cope with the emotional assault of his senses.. he just gathered his child in his arms and let some desperate sobs escape his mouth before hiding his face in her hair, trying his best to keep his voice low, even as he unsuccessfully bit back bitter, bitter tears..

He didn't know how much time passed with them in the same position... he realized he did not have words. He wondered why Nishi wanted him here in the first place. He was more than glad to be at her side in such a situation but he had been such an absent father that he was surprised at Nishi's insistence that his situation would somehow help matters. He called out to her softly.. in a matter to revive her and get her to open her eyes..

Nishi.. Nishi.. Papa is here, beta.. Nishi..

As his calls went unanswered by the young woman in his arms, he broke down and called her by the nickname he had coined for her and her alone. His heart seemed to be retrieving the most painful things, handpicking them for him.. so many memories came rushing as he called out..

Gabu.. Gabuuu.. Ga..Gabu..

And she still did not respond. He placed her back gingerly on the bed and held her hand close to his heart as he let his emotions go unchecked and finally broke down and wallowed. Looking at the multiple scratches and wounds on her wrist in addition to the main one that was all covered up, his mind replayed the horror that must have been Nishi's initial attempts at killing herself.. people trying to slit their wrists usually faltered at the end moment and made many superficial injuries before actually slitting the vein.

His throat went dry as he visualized his daughter go through all this - all the while thinking that she was alone and that her life was finished.. he could not breathe .. what must she have gone through? He gasped her name out again and pressed her hand to his face.. wanting to tell her that she was always his princess, and wanting to apologize for every moment spent apart.. for everything he should have said and done and didn't..

And suddenly, he felt a soft hand on his shoulder blade.. he didn't even need to turn to see who it was.. this touch could only belong to his Ragini.. someone who was capable of so much love in so much of disappointment. He quickly dried his tears on his sleeve and looked up at Ragini.

One look at her face was enough to send him into another deep shock. She seemed to have aged 10 years in a day. The hollows of her eyes were haunting him.. the weak smile she now sported was killing him inside.. his mind replayed a reel of his emotions from the moment he got to know of this news.. and then his heart came close to giving up.. he forgot to think about this woman, about Ragini.

What must she have gone through? WHAT must she have suffered, knowing her daughter had tried to kill herself in the room next to hers? It was getting impossible to breathe.. he took one deep breath and the world seemed to black out.

iamcurious thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#17
Finally read it.

This was such a lovely start to the story to follow. I don't even want to compare it with NB and say why can't she give all this. This is way beyond her understanding. The pea sized brain cannot process so much sensitivity.

Mature approach to ANY topic is beautiful, sensible and gullible.

Have always loved your writing. This is yet another wonderful piece.

Btw Gabbu? So cute. 😆



poetic thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#18
i know, I lvoed the Gabbu part as well. 😆
metoyou thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#19
And this is how it's supposed to be done...

This is exactly how Nachiket should have reacted to Ragini's call, this is exactly the emotions he should feel when he sees Nishi for the first time and this is exactly how he should meet Ragini after those months...

Heartbreaking yaar...seriously, thank you for this! This is so good.
There is more right? Say yes please!
iamcurious thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#20

Originally posted by: poetic

i know, I lvoed the Gabbu part as well. 😆



I know!

Is it just me but I feel whenever we try to address someone with affection it ends with 'u' or 'oo' sound. I find such names very cute.

Parents can very creative at times when it comes to nick naming.
I have a distant cousin he was called 'dablu' because that's the way he'd pronounce 'w' 😆
and apparently 'dablu' in gujrati means 'lota' which is carried along you know for what purposes. 😆

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