Musings of an Insomniac

Greetings!

I have been meaning to watch Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar (IKNMP) since it began, and have only recently caught up with all the episodes. As an avid fan, I pay this forum a visit from time to time, though I never contribute to its activity. However, owing to the current divided opinions regarding the serial's characterisation, plot and progress, I felt compelled to pen down my own thoughts.

This drama has been promoted as a mature love story, and I for one, have immensely enjoyed the romantic moments shown between the lead characters up till now. I am aware of the mixed reactions towards this, but romance is not age-specific; to me, these moments offer an insight into to the depth of their love. One other aspect that has garnered a substantial amount of criticism is the portrayal of jealousy; I cannot fathom how this can be labelled as immature. Beyond the emotion of jealousy is pain - for example, is Ragni not justified in feeling hurt when seeing Nachiket and Nevideta together? She reacts in this manner because of her love for him; this can also be applied to Nachiket.

With respect to Aarav's love life, I understand I must be in the minority when I say that I commend the writers for this track. Aside from Shilpa's blatant disinterest in him, there are a number of reasons to explain his current state of mind. In an effort to provide for her family, Ragni has had to make a lot of compromises; she described Nishi as her 'support system' and 'best friend', but one wonders why her children are so quick to taunt her and bring up her past, every time an argument ensues. In my view, she has not been able to spend enough time with her children due to the circumstances; even now, Ragni is completely oblivious to Aarav's heartache. Along with this, his father makes an appearance after 15 years, but the interactions between the two are virtually non-existent. His eldest brother, although cordial with Nishi, misses no opportunity to belittle him and the contrast between him and Agam has been apparent on many occasions - from their clothes to their friends. A combination of these has ultimately led to Aarav's breakdown; this emphasises the impact of Ragni and Nachiket's divorce on their children.

However, I do have some issues which are shared by others too. My main problem is the lack of bonding between Ragni and Nachiket with their children. Initially, the 'your children, my children' promise was holding them back; this still does not explain how either Ragni or Nachiket were able to control their emotions upon seeing their other children. But now that things have eased up a little, both characters seem completely uninterested in getting to know the children they've essentially never known. I want the writers to explore Ragni and Agam's relationship more and for there to be more communication between Nachiket and Nishi/Aarav. Nachiket has never been a hands on parent, and I feel the father in him has been awakened during his stay in India, but there needs to be more of a longing from the parents for their children. The love story between the lead characters should be balanced with developments in the parent-children relationships. If the show was predominantly meant to be a love story, then there is no reason for there to be 4/5 children.

The fake marriage between Ragni and Aman has to come to an end; I find Ragni incredibly selfish for compelling Aman to continue with this charade, despite his discomfort. The excess screen time given to Pam and Nevideta is completely unwarranted, and secondary characters such as Karan and Dimpy need more of a role in the story, otherwise their presence/absence makes no difference.

With tighter editing, better screenplay and more focus there is no reason why this serial cannot become more successful, and have a longer shelf-life.

Well, I am glad I got that out of my system! Any input from fellow fans would be more than appreciated!

Hi welcome to the forum and an awesome post . Loved reading your thoughts and you have echoed a lot of my thoughts too.

Welcome to the forum, Azalea :)

Very nice post! And nicely summarized.

Originally posted by: OodlesDoodles

Hi welcome to the forum and an awesome post . Loved reading your thoughts and you have echoed a lot of my thoughts too.

I too love the way that this mature love story has been still following the path it set out to be. In a mature love story besides love there are other elements that come into play and its not something tht can be easily rushed. There are so many layers that has been added that its not easy to peel off . In fact if were to get peeled off then for me the whole meaning gets lost. These two are very much in love infact they never fell out of their love. Circumstances had them part ways but everything they felt for each other never dimished.

As Shilpa had never really been interested in Arav it makes sense for her to be with Ranbir. The only part here is that you don;t forgive someone so easily especially when their actions were totally wrong. Agreed you want to give people second chances but you have to earn it in my book . Just being close and touchy does not mean that you have changed . But that being said Shilpa has always been a materialist person so falling for someone rich and handsome has always been her dream. Initially Arav wanted to go to live with his dad . so now even if not live I would have expected more bonding between the two. On one hand Agam makes it look like he has had Ragini all his life . He is so comfortable and does not lose a chance to bond with her. On the other hand Arav has the opportunity to bond with Neil but he is so absorbed in Shilpa that he is not realizing that he is missing out. Initially it was the my children are mine and don;t try to use emotions to get them to love you however we are past that stage . So its high time Arav actually uses Neil;s shoulders to cry on and not Aman;s. They really need to explore each parents relationship with each of their kids especially Ranbir /Ragini. Initially we saw so much hate but that vanished in thin air . That is the disconnect i feel to teh show. Agreed we are trying to build NeiRa;s first and then have them connect the kids . However the kids are not babies so each is a huge part of NeiRa and hence that too needs to progress parallel.

I am sure the fake marriage will come in the open soon . However this is a huge turning point for NeiRa and I hope that the writers have a great way to bring it out in the open. I just don;t want them to make that part be lame then all the justice done so far by Aman and Rags would go to waste.

Thank you so much for your post - I really enjoyed reading your thoughts. I completely share your sentiments with respect to the relationships between the parents and children. There are many conspicuous inconsistencies in the serial, and this is the reason why it is so difficult to relate to some of the characters. And you are right, the children could also make more of an effort to bond with Ragni and Nachiket; this is an aspect that the writers need to focus on. My only worry is that Ekta's dramas start off so well, and then the quality declines after the first few months. With so many loopholes, Indian television is often quite difficult to get into!

Originally posted by: ronitfan

Welcome to the forum, Azalea :)

It was nice reading your views.. Agree with the other bits but I do see the Aarav angle as being too forced. There was ample time to focus on this after Nachiket decided to stay back in India for good.. There was no need to force fit Ranbir in the Shilpa equation.

They should have used the wedding as a prop to refresh the relationships between the parents and their estranged kids.. The awkwardness, the complaints.. It would have been so meaningful.. They missed the bus! :(

Thank you for replying!

The Aarav-Shilpa track is undoubtably unnecessary - I have been trying to justify the track ever since it began. But I really enjoyed your last paragraph; the wedding was such a good opportunity for Ragni and Nachiket to bond with the children. At the moment it appears as though the lead characters have forgotten about their children!

Originally posted by: shubz1

Very nice post! And nicely summarized.

Agree with most of your points. With Neil and Ragini, the equation has been established firmly and clearly. That is the big plus!

If Ranbir-Shilpa-Aarav track has some play into NR equation, then it fits. So far they are tangential and hence looks unnecessary.

As others have mentioned, other than the few initial moments of parental relationship and bonding, that part has been completely ignored. IT could have been the underlying highlight of Nishi's wedding sequence; But rather the parent's other relationships have been focused upon, which ideally should have taken a backseat, considering that N&R have not started a new relationship in 15 years..

I really appreciate your comments!

I personally do not feel as though the wedding has achieved anything meaningful. Perhaps the purpose of this sequence was to establish the characters and their stories; but the wedding has definitely been a missed opportunity for many things. The writers should have put less focus on Pam and her sidekick, and more focus on the parent-children and sibling relationships. Anyhow, I am still looking forward to seeing how the story develops.