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This is my first OS..I always have these sequences or thoughts bouncing around in my head,but I was just too lazy to put them down in writing..& once I finished thinking up a sequence,I felt they did all they were supposed to do..Entertain me😳
Today I wrote this down to avoid doing my term paper..So sharing it here.
I really felt Arnav needs to do some soul-searching before he can start repenting.& just to be clear,I never,ever want ASR to fully convert to Arnav..He should always juggle between the two to confuse Khushi as he does😉 It's the day after Arnav is rescued from the kidnappers.
The Reason Is You
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wished I didn't do
Arnav slowly opened his eyes & sat up on the recliner..He winced a little as several of his bruised muscles contracted,paining,as he changed his position after so long of lying sideways facing his bed.His wrists were bandaged..An excess in his opinion,but his Di & his wife were adamant on it.
His wife..He closed his eyes,as whenever he did so,her face would swim before his eyes.For some strange reason,whenever he closed his eyes without any specific thought,the first image that always came to his eyes were how she looked at him that day at the hospital,when he had put his hand over her bent head,after paying her Babuji's hosspital bills.Those eyes looked up at himfrom her small hands,red & tear-filled,then she had stopped crying.Maybe that's why it was such a fond memory.Because,it was one of the rare times when he had actually been the one to stop her tears,to console her,to comfort her.Not the other way round..
& I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
The other way round??...In a jerky movement he swung his legs off the recliner & clutched his forehead in his palms,tugging at his hair.It was sadism to remind himself just how many times he had been the sole reason for her tears,but that's what he had been doing the whole night, while watching her sleeping face.How many times had he grabbed her by the arms,shook her violently in a fit of rage,just to let go when the tears spilled over from her lashes.It was almost as if he was waiting for those droplets to calm him down..As if that was his ultimate end game..
& so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
But all that he could make up for.If only..If only he hadn't done what he had done on their wedding night.Yes,that's where he wished he could turn the clocks back.
He had mulled over the happenings of the last 6months throughout the whole night.And that's the decision he reached upon.His wedding night.He couldn't be forgiven for that crime.
I found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
& the reason you
Yes,he defamed her by releasing the tapes of that fashion show in Lucknow.But didn't that bring her to Delhi?To him?..His eyes softened as he remembered her cute bewildered expression when she crashed into his car with that ridiculous scooter.Where did she get that in any case??
He dropped her from his office window.She wasn't hurt though,and her spirit definitely wasn't broken.His eyes twinkled at how she barged into his meeting with the delegates,drenched in blue ink.He could almost see the halo of fire around her head.
He closed his eyes in anguish at how he ousted her from his home when she was brought in to train Lavanya.As silly as that notion was to train Lavanya,it wasn't her idea.He apologised to his sister the next day,not to her though..But even then she came back with her unbreakable attitude.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
& all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
BUT...This farce of a wedding that he shoved down her throat?How could he justify this?
It didn't bring them close.They were close..Closer than ever during Akash's pre-wedding rituals.He clenched his fists as he remembered the blush she almost always wore from Akash's Sangeet to his wedding day.Now she was as pale as a ghost with red-rimmed eyes bearing proof to his deeds.
He had seen how the fire slowly died out of her.How her eyes stopped blazing at his unfair accusations anymore.They started closing with dull pain.
He broke her ever-fighting attitude.Instead of fighting with him,she either resorted to staying out of his way,or pleading with him to believe her.
He broke her character,and he snatched her life away from her.What did she say to him on that fateful night?
Aaj hum phirse akele ho gaye..Aapne hume phirse anaath kar diya..
Let me be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
He jerked up from the recliner & started pacing the room.NO!He wouldn't let her be an orphan again.He wouldn't let her be all alone again.He knew her family enough now to know they would gather her up in their arms to sheild her from him,once they knew the truth of this marriage.But they wouldn't be able to sheild her from the rest of the world.That has always been her job.To save her family from the taunts of the world,she'd bottle her pain deep inside her and would go on hurting inside forever.
Yes.That's why he couldn't let her go.He knows she probably deserves someone way better than himself.But that wouldn't take away all the pains he had given her.That wouldn't make their balace-sheet clear.That wouldn't close their deal,damn it!!!
I found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
& the reason is YOU!!!!
Nope.He hurt her.So he will make all the amends he needed to make.And for that they had to stay together,married.He would turn around the whole world for her.He could actually do that.He was ASR,damn it.He would turn around his own world upside down for her.That would be a difficult feat though,he thought wryly.But if anything these misunderstandings and the hold-up fiasco has taught him,it was that he was nothing without Khushi anymore.Not even the selfmade mighty ASR.If Khushi was there by his side he could happily go on shouting at the world being ASR,maybe even at her a couple of times a week,but she HAD to be there.He has to,has to stop her from leaving him.
I am sorry if it was not up to scratch😕I actually wrote a second part,but refrained from posting that as well..Please comment if anyone has any suggestions or criticisms..Press like,if you do like😉
Song Courtesy:The Reason(Hoobastank)..Every time I listen to it,it reminds me of ASR(NOT Arnav)...
Second Part:Khushi's POV
OS:LIKE NEVER BEFORE
Last Part: OS: Northern Star
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