Posted:
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I had been TRYING so hard to hate you.. To loathe you from the deepest core of my heart.. The day u entered my life, everything changed.. My sister's marriage broke because of YOU.. It was YOU because of whome, my mother uttered those words which i dreaded the most.. Which haunted me so much.. That i was NOT her OWN daughter.
Because of you, me and my family's honour was at stake because of the tape that u released just because of my outburst in dargah.. I had to leave my reason of existence.. My parents.. And was sent to Delhi.. Away from them..
Fate had other plans and we bumped into each other again.. I had to work in ur office because of evil games of fate.. I had to face ridicule and to top that, you left no stone unturned to TORTURE me.. I had every reason to HATE you.. But surprisingly i did NOT!
Why i was able to FEEL your touch when i was unconscious after u saved me from a collapsing building? Why did i feel ur CARRESS, as if you were whisking away my pain.. I woke up at this weird feeling.. Pleasant.. But weird..
I went to your house to give my resignation and to tell you that Mr.ASR! Its ALL OVER! You have hurt me enough that i can take it.. But was it REALLY over? Why did i get hurt at the thought that he was SILENT.. He didnt answer me back?! Was HE over me? Was HE tired of me being around him..? And strangely, it HURT.. Alot..
I looked back at him and searched to see a sense of belonging in his eyes.. But it was all blank.. I was disappointed.. Hurt.. I left..
I tried to brush these feelings aside.. I verbally made myself beleive that i HATE him! I called him Rakshas, laad Governer.. But little did i know that it gave me a sense of belonging.. That he was MY laad Governor.. My copyright.. And i hated myself for that..
Then i had to train La to becum a traditional bahu.. And strangely it hurts me when i see La near you.. But what hurted me the most was YOU were trying to RUN away from happiness.. If u were happy enough with La to let her live in ur house.. Then why did you want to live alone without commitment.. Why were u punishing yourself and running from LOVE and brightness of Life? It torn my heart to thousand pieces when i saw u like a lonely dead man walking! You thought that i was thrusting my beliefs on you and was nosing in your life.. But more than La, i was concerned about YOU being lonely throughout ur life.. It hurt me. I cud'nt let ths happen even if u throw ur venomous words at me! If thats called interfering.. So BE IT! M ready to take ur hate but not let u suffer..
I was supposed to hate you for physically hurting me by holding my wrist so harshly.. But i was more hurt by the fact that YOU were in pain.. And unconsciously, my soul reacted to it and i went to console u.. To tell you that i know how it feels like.. U lashed at me.. But i didnt get upset.. Instead, i was more upset with God for taking away our loved ones so far away from us.. I could relate to ur pain..
After all this time, i was hating myself cuz my heart dominated my mind.. I can NEVER ever hate you. I never ever can.. Because i know that we both BELONG to each other.. I hate ths fact but thats true.. I know u are as vulnerable as me.. We both are masking ourselves. And that you NEED me as much as I DO..
I had been TRYING so hard to hate you.. To loathe you from the deepest core of my heart.. The day u entered my life, everything changed.. My sister's marriage broke because of YOU.. It was YOU because of whome, my mother uttered those words which i dreaded the most.. Which haunted me so much.. That i was NOT her OWN daughter.
Because of you, me and my family's honour was at stake because of the tape that u released just because of my outburst in dargah.. I had to leave my reason of existence.. My parents.. And was sent to Delhi.. Away from them..
Fate had other plans and we bumped into each other again.. I had to work in ur office because of evil games of fate.. I had to face ridicule and to top that, you left no stone unturned to TORTURE me.. I had every reason to HATE you.. But surprisingly i did NOT!
Why i was able to FEEL your touch when i was unconscious after u saved me from a collapsing building? Why did i feel ur CARRESS, as if you were whisking away my pain.. I woke up at this weird feeling.. Pleasant.. But weird..
I went to your house to give my resignation and to tell you that Mr.ASR! Its ALL OVER! You have hurt me enough that i can take it.. But was it REALLY over? Why did i get hurt at the thought that he was SILENT.. He didnt answer me back?! Was HE over me? Was HE tired of me being around him..? And strangely, it HURT.. Alot..
I looked back at him and searched to see a sense of belonging in his eyes.. But it was all blank.. I was disappointed.. Hurt.. I left..
I tried to brush these feelings aside.. I verbally made myself beleive that i HATE him! I called him Rakshas, laad Governer.. But little did i know that it gave me a sense of belonging.. That he was MY laad Governor.. My copyright.. And i hated myself for that..
Then i had to train La to becum a traditional bahu.. And strangely it hurts me when i see La near you.. But what hurted me the most was YOU were trying to RUN away from happiness.. If u were happy enough with La to let her live in ur house.. Then why did you want to live alone without commitment.. Why were u punishing yourself and running from LOVE and brightness of Life? It torn my heart to thousand pieces when i saw u like a lonely dead man walking! You thought that i was thrusting my beliefs on you and was nosing in your life.. But more than La, i was concerned about YOU being lonely throughout ur life.. It hurt me. I cud'nt let ths happen even if u throw ur venomous words at me! If thats called interfering.. So BE IT! M ready to take ur hate but not let u suffer..
I was supposed to hate you for physically hurting me by holding my wrist so harshly.. But i was more hurt by the fact that YOU were in pain.. And unconsciously, my soul reacted to it and i went to console u.. To tell you that i know how it feels like.. U lashed at me.. But i didnt get upset.. Instead, i was more upset with God for taking away our loved ones so far away from us.. I could relate to ur pain..
After all this time, i was hating myself cuz my heart dominated my mind.. I can NEVER ever hate you. I never ever can.. Because i know that we both BELONG to each other.. I hate ths fact but thats true.. I know u are as vulnerable as me.. We both are masking ourselves. And that you NEED me as much as I DO..
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Yours Truly-
Khushi...
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
201