Gauri woke up this morning after a very restless sleep, the events of last night still playing in her mind. The talk she had with Dilpreet still fresh in her heart. He reminded her so much of the one person she was trying so hard to forget, her husband, her Omakara. Yes, he does not accept the fact that she is his wife but to her he will always be her husband no matter what. And last night had enforced this truth of her life like it was engraved on stone.
Last Night
Gauri was sitting on the porch of her house lost in her thoughts wondering what Omakara might be doing when Dilpreet came and joined her. Seeing her lost he asked where she was lost and in a moment of weakness she told him the truth. True that Dilpreet and she had become good friends after he had helped her out so many times but she never discussed Omakara with anyone else other than her Bade Bhaiya. But now that she had lost touch with him, she needed this. To reminisce, to vent her heart out.
"So why don't you just call and ask him? Dilpreet had asked her.
At this she had given him a rueful smile and replied "I can't. I don't have the right.
"Why not? You are his wife right? You have every right to call him any time you want.
"You don't understand, Dilpreetji. True, we did get married. Months back. But he does not accept me as his wife. He married me to save my life, he said it was a drama, but point of the matter is that he did marry me. But there were so many misunderstandings between us that he hated my existence. Some created by circumstances, some by people who wanted to keep us apart. But that's not why I'm not with him today. I'm here because he never understood me, doesn't want me in his life and I don't want to be a burden on him anymore. And besides all this, he has no faith in me. No matter what I do, he doesn't trust me. I know that somewhere, sometime someone has hurt him very bad. But do I deserve the punishment for that? I don't know what to do. For a while I thought that things were getting better between us. That the love I have for him will be enough to keep us together for a lifetime but what do I do of his mistrust and hatred. I'd rather live without him than see him keep hating me for the rest of my life.
Dilpreet didn't have it in him to keep looking at her like this anymore. She was suffering without her Omakara. Maybe it was time he returned. He kept a comforting hand on her shoulder and said "keep your faith, Gauri. It hasn't failed you till now. I'm sure you'll get all the happiness you deserve.
"But I want him back Gauri cried "I want to be with him. Even though I know it's not possible. After everything I still want to be with him.
"Then you will be with him. With these parting words, Dilpreet had retired for the night.
Gauri knocked on Dilpreet's door to thank him for being there for her last night, but there was no answer. She hadn't seen him since morning and nobody else had either. She decided to check if his door was unlocked and to her luck it was but there was no one inside. In fact, the room looked like it never had anyone inside. Dilpreet's things were gone. Only an envelope remained on the bed, with "Gauri inscribed on it in what she without a doubt knew was her husband's script. It was beautiful, just like his art. At that moment she did not ask herself how it could have gotten there; only that it was for her from her husband. She hurried inside the room and closed the door behind her. She sat on the bed and opened the envelope to find several pages inside. It was a letter he had addressed to her.
Gauri,
I wrote only your name because I don't know if I should write dear or not. You must be thinking what a great way to begin. But then again, we did not really have a good beginning, did we? From the first time we met, you always said that someone must have hurt me really bad for me to be the way I was. As usual, you were always right, but you know the ego of a man never lets him admit it. But all these days, staying with you, watching you struggle by every day, simply to live, has taught me a lot. But let's get to that later.
It's true. I was hurt. Not once, not twice, many so many times that I've lost count. And not by one person too. When I was little, I started becoming witness to the constant fights between Mom and Mr. Oberoi. At first, it was scary and daunting and then all I felt was numbness. It was a daily occurrence. But Bua Ma, Dadi and my brothers were always there for me. They never let me feel lonely or sad. Rudra did not understand what was going on between my parents most of the time because Shivaay and I shielded him from it all. He was our baby. Still is to this day. But you already know that.
Life moved on, and I was in college where I met Raina. I was always a private person so I kept away from the groups. Still she used to always seek me out. We became friends and as time went on something more. It was Valentine's day and I had decided that I was taking her home to meet my mom. So I figured out from her friends where she would be and decided to surprise her with the gifts I brought. She was in the middle of a group of her friends. There was a boy on his knees professing his love to her. That was not what broke my heart. But what she did next did. You see, the boy was from the lower middle class and Raina, she was from the upper middle class. A simple no could have sufficed to reject the boy's advances but she went ten steps ahead and shredded his dignity into nothing. He left dejected from there. Just when I was about to approach her, one from the group told her that she did not have to humiliate the bay that way. She was responsible for him thinking that she loved him. And Raina told her that he should know that he was useful to her because she was smart and did her work. But a girl like her would always settle down with someone rich and she had caught her big fish in Omkara Singh Oberoi. That was the first time a girl broke my heart. Obviously we broke up after that, but even after several lectures from Shivaay and Rudy, I kept my distance from girls.
Some more time passed, the situation between my parents kept deteriorating and I moved to London for Art School. That's where I met Riddhima. We kept meeting, eventually becoming friends, then going in to a relationship and didn't realize when 5 years had passed. But even after 5 years I was able to tell her whether I will marry her or not. I just couldn't get myself to do it. I was convinced she wasn't with me for money, but my heart needed more time to accept her as a lifelong partner. In all this I met Ishana. To cut the long story short, she presented herself as the perfect damsel in distress when she met me and I fell for her act. In time, we brothers realized she was trying to con me, break up my relationship with Riddhima and marry me so that she could have access to my wealth. We exposed her in time and this experience drove me closer to Riddhima prompting me to ask her to move in with me and come stay in Oberoi mansion. But this relationship also fell apart. You know how much I hate lies, and she did exactly that. She got together with Mr. Oberoi and fooled me. I trusted her blindly and signed papers which transferred 50% of shares to my name so that I had more shares than Shivaay and I could become the next CEO. She deceit left my belief in tatters. She too was with me because of my money.
After all this Mr. Oberoi tried to forcefully divorce Mom and marry Svetlana. I decided to intervene. Svetlana only wanted the name and money that comes with being an Oberoi and I gave that to her in return for leaving my Dad. And she did that promptly. I had promised her 100 crores as the first installment of her deal and that is what brought me to Bareilly.
I never said this before but the first time I saw you, that wasn't the real me you met. I was but a shell at that point trying to not feel any emotions. The Om before who would stop the demolition and help the people before was the one giving the orders. I pegged you into the same category as Raina and Riddhima. And when I saw you with Kaali thakur, you suddenly turned into the worst of them. You were the same as Svetlana, the woman I hated the most. And there on, every encounter of ours was seen through these tinted glasses that I was never able to see you for the person that you truly were... are. Those walls started breaking down but every once in a while something would happen that would put those blinders back on and I would lash out at you. I'm sorry. I was trying to protect my broken heart from you, not realizing that you were the balm it needed. You became my inspiration and taught me that I did not need to be in pain to produce good art, happiness can make it better. You reintroduced me to my family. Riddhima used to be my escape from home but you became the north star that guided me back home. You became my home. You healed this heart. But you see, I had already hurt you, humiliated you so much that I couldn't bring myself to believe that you would still want me. It frustrated me to no end when after the exhibition debacle, you wouldn't talk to me. You asked for a break and wouldn't even tell me where you were going. I followed you Gauri. And what I saw made me assume the wrong things. I'm sorry. But the pain I felt at that time was nothing compared to before. If before, I felt my heart break than this time it was as if it had been ripped apart and there was nothing remaining. I was burning in hell Gauri and I took it out on you. I'm sorry.
I know you believe that the day I saved you from being killed was our wedding but I still stand by and say that was not a wedding. Yes, I put sindoor on your head and we took pheras around the fire but where was the consent, the willingness to get married. To be bonded for life. I hated you and you barely know me. That wasn't a marriage. But yes, you are my wife. This I have accepted from my heart and you will be my wife till my last breath and no one else. But if you want me to be your husband and come back with me then I would like to marry you. If you want the same then meet me in the same place we met the first time.
Yours forever,
Omakara
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