The Heart Gets What The Heart Wants/FF ShivIka(Ud:May08 Ch:34a/pg141) - Page 46

Originally posted by: ISensedYou

*wondering how i missed the last 2 to 3 updates*😳

Chapter 23: Truth and Dare

Shivvay was like a man, both, possessed and starved as he continued to ravish Annika. Possessed, because of the new found knowledge that 'He DID affect her' and starved because he knew that this might be the only time he would ever drink of her essence and soul and hence he needed to have enough to last him a lifetime.

What started out as a desperate need from him to capture her very being into himself, before things between them changed drastically tonight, ended with him heady in the knowledge that she was actually responding back to his kisses with equal fervor.

He found, to his amazement and delight that she was melting and molding into him and unconsciously delving into HIS very soul. He was losing control of this situation and fast and would have to stop before things got out of hand between them.

He had not expected this response from his wife who always indifferent to him and had claimed that he did not affect her. That was the reason why her ardent response had thrown him off balance.

He was aware that she did feel a certain attraction to him but he had never in his wildest dreams imagined it would have matched his. Now here she was responding to and giving back as passionately as him, making him lose his mind and his senses.

He, on the other hand, had long come to terms with his obsession and need for Annika but his commitment to Tia had always held him back. Besides, those were the days when his NKK banner flew high on his Oberoi Castle and even contemplating declaring Annika as his wife to the world had been unthinkable by him.

How the mighty have fallen !!! He though amused.

I dragged my lips away from Annika's and placed them on her forehead in an attempt to break this kiss that had very swiftly gotten out of hand. I had meant it to be just me taking from Annika, a part of her to keep as my own, for when she would leave me with days void of her presence, but had somehow ended up giving an equal if not greater part of myself to her in my surprise at her eager response.

I knew Annika was trying as hard as me to bring her ragged and uneven breathing under control and I kept my arms firmly around her fearing that she may collapse to the floor if I moved away. I closed my eyes in an attempt to clear my dizzy head and gather my thoughts.

I felt Annika gently trying to pull away from my embrace and whispered against her forehead, "Not yet Annika ... not till I say what I need to. I may not get another chance to say this to you after today."

I looked down at her trusting flushed face, dazed eyes and her swollen kissed lips and my heart did a little leap. Did I do that??!! Is that the kind of effect I have on my Pannika??!!!

God!!! This, telling her the truth so that she would make her own decisions, was going to be harder than I had imagined. It had been so much easier when I had been in control of making all the decisions in this relationship and had expected her to just fall in line with them.

But that was the past and I had to look towards the future, especially if I wanted her to feature in mine as much as I wanted to feature in hers.

I moved one hand from her waist and gently tucked her hair behind her ear. Then tracing the delicate jawline down to her chin and holding that between my fingers I used my thumb to finally trace her swollen lips. I was feeling stupidly proud of my handiwork when I heard her soft moan as her eyelashes fluttered shut at that action. I was almost tempted to claim those delicious lips and what they offered again but I shut my eyes at the temptation and sought control of my thoughts.

I had to do this and do this right if I was going to have many more opportunities to taste what I had tasted just a few minutes ago. I intended to make Annika a part of my life and for that I had to learn self-control, in every aspect of my life related to her, even if it was the hardest thing for me to do.

"Annika, open your eyes please ... you are making this very hard for me to resist", I almost begged as I moved my hand back to her waist.

Her eyes immediately snapped open as she blushed a deep red and dove into my chest to hide her embarrassment. I was shocked once again upon seeing her so painfully shy and embarrassed. It seems I did not know my wife of almost a month at all!!!! How much more had I missed in my stupidity of trying to punish her for my wrong actions??!!

I held her to me for a few more minutes so that she could get her bearings back before I inquired, "Are you alright??". She nodded in my chest as she continued to stare at it and I loosened my embrace to look down at her.

"Annika, I am not going to apologize for what I just did because it was what I have wanted to do for a very long time now", I admitted frankly as I took a small step back to look at her reaction.

She swung her head up with a confused look that did not surprise me at all. I had never, in all the time that she knew me, done or acted in anyway that would have indicated that I felt anything for her other than indifference on a romantic level. As she continued to stare at me in shocked silence I unwrapped my arms from her waist.

Keeping one arm firmly around her shoulder I walked her to the pull out couch and sat her down. I pulled up a chair opposite her and took both her, still trembling hands, in mine as I continued, "Annika I was going to have this conversation once we got home but after what we both experienced a few moments ago I believe it would be better to have that conversation now."

I saw a look of pain cross her face as she smoothly and expertly pulled her mask of indifference over her features to hide that pain. I smiled a small smile as she did that, thinking back to how I had been fooled by that mask so many times before today, to believe that she really felt indifference. She made an attempt to pull her hands out of mine but I held on tighter as her face shone with indignation.

She jutted her chin and spoke proudly, "Don't worry Mr. Oberoi I will not repeat the mistake of responding to you again. I am fully aware that we have the impending divorce to go through and what happened a few minutes ago does not change that fact. I don't need your pity or your patronizing speech about where this marriage stands or what my status is in it."

I sighed at the realization of how long and hard this journey was going to be for me and rubbed my thumbs across her hands wondering where to start. I have been told that the beginning is always the best place to start and so I did.

"Annika, can I request that you please let me speak and do not interrupt me, no matter how tempted you are to do so??!!" I pleaded softly.

"Deal??!", I inquired hoping she would agree.

"Deal!!", she said as she nodded in response but I felt her stiffen in preparation for what was going to come next.

I looked at her square in the eyes and began, "Annika, I know that the circumstances under which we married were all of my making and the way I treated you that day was abominable to say the least. I am sorry for what I did to you that day and the day of the reception and my only defense for that action is that I did it for my Family's Reputation which you are aware means a lot to me. Saying that, I completely agree that it was wrong and disgustingly low for me to treat you that way and expect that you would take it lying down without a fight."

She sat absolutely still as I continued, "I am ashamed for using and dragging Sahil into this and plan to apologize to him when he comes home on his next break. I know he has moved past what has happened and we are in a 'rocking relationship' right now but I feel I owe this to the little guy as well."

I stopped, took a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm myself and muster the much needed courage to continue.

Now comes the hard part I thought as I shut my eyes briefly and pictured Om and Ru cheering me on to do the right thing.

I opened my eyes to see a very bewildered Annika staring at me like I had grown another head. I squeezed her hands, that were still in mine, for comfort and continued without pausing for breath, "I was raving mad, deeply disappointed and insanely jealous when Daksh had claimed that he had spent a night with you for the price of 15 lakhs in exchange for it. I did part of what I did during and after the wedding to punish you for letting me down and ripping my heart out by stooping that low. I could not and still cannot bear the thought of you with another man ever. I have no idea what I will do if you ever chose to be with another of your own free will."

I saw realization dawn in her eyes as I spoke and felt the sting of another slap just by the way she was looking at me right now. I was so glad I had both her hands trapped in mine presently because I think she was having the same thoughts as me at the moment.

"Shivvay!!! How could you??!!" was all I heard her yell as she tried harder to pry her hands away from mine.

"Remember the deal??", I asked cheekily, " no talking till I am done."

"You said nothing about killing, stabbing or strangling you though. You are losing your touch at making watertight deals Mr. Oberoi. Not turning soft on me are you??", she inquired in a voice filled with venom as she continued to struggle.

I was quite sure she would have carried out her threat if I had not been successful a few minutes ago to capture both her hands firmly in mine. She was every bit her namesake, Durga', right now and I for one was not going to risk meeting a gruesome death at the hands of my devastatingly beautiful wife.

"Annika... please let me continue...," I pleaded as I struggled to hold on to her and keep her seated. I ended up trapping her sitting form between my legs to keep her from escaping while I placed our hands on her lap.

"There is more!!!!", she shouted in exasperation. "You are going to be the 'Late Shivvay Singh Oberoi' before this day is done at this rate", she threatened as her eyes shot fire at being helplessly trapped by me.

I was fast losing my patience that I had promised to keep while this wild cat was struggling fiercely to free herself from my hold. Suddenly, she unexpectedly pulled our hands so hard towards her that I ended up landing on top of her on the pull-out couch with our joined hands trapped between us.

"Get off me Shivvay!!!! Now!!!," she ordered, mad at the fact that I was lying almost full length on top of her.

I knew I was crazy to actually be enjoying the physical intimacy of this whole situation considering how serious it was but then as I had confided to OmRu a long time ago - "Annika ki bath alag hai" because these things can only happen with her and no one else.

Trust the woman to turn a serious confession into a sensually intimate scene.

I was aware that I was getting uncomfortably aroused with all the wriggling she was doing under me and knew I would have to make her stop if I was to continue this confession today without further distractions.

There was only one sure fire way to do that and that was telling Annika the pure and simple truth I thought amused. No need for diplomacy or tact here.

"Annika darling", I drawled as I arched one eyebrow, "you need to stop what you are doing because you are waking up parts of me that would need to be satisfied to quieten them down if you continued to prolong your little wriggling exercise. If you like we can take a leisurely break and work on that first and then continue after those needs are satisfied. I am sure it will help dispel some of the tension between us and help us relax and connect on a whole new level. "

She instantly turned into a stone statue under me and I could have sworn had even stopped breathing so as to make minimum movement from her end. Always works!!! I thought triumphantly as I looked at the still and tensed prude Mrs. Oberoi.

I rolled off her to one side and pulled her up into a sitting position with me. She flushed at what I had said and turned to stare at our entwined hands on my lap to avoid looking at me.

As we sat side by side in silence for a few minutes I felt pain at what I was going to tell her next. I placed my fingers under her chin and turned her face upwards to look at me while I earnestly said, "Please let me finish Annika. This part is very important. It is about your mysterious stalker."

I saw her eyes widen at that recollection and she began to tremble slightly. I immediately wrapped my arm around her, pulling her into my side as the other hand rubbed her arm to comfort her. She looked frightened and scared at the thought of what she was going to hear next as though she did not want to confront it.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes as she asked, "You have found the stalker and figured out why I was being harassed?"

I nodded sadly at the thought of what I was going to put her through and said, "I am not going to beat around the bush here Annika so I am going to come straight out and tell you that it was Daksh."

"Daksh??!!" , she whispered in shock.

"Why??... Why Daksh??!!", she asked puzzled.

She shook her head in disbelief and stated, "No I don't believe it. Why would Daksh want to hurt or harm me??What did I do to him???"

I saw Annika sway as if about to faint at that revelation and the tears started pouring down her cheeks unchecked, while all she said in a confused and pained voice was, "Why??? Why Shivvay??? Why?? What did I ever do to the two of you to treat me this way?? How did I wrong either of you??"

I felt my heart break into a thousand pieces just to hear those words. I had not expected to be so devastated just watching her go through this pain caused by me and me alone.

I felt her pull away from me, pushing at my chest in anger but I firmly held on to her. I knew I was the last person she needed consolation from right now but I also knew, from the video on Daksh's USB, that I was the only person capable of giving her that consolation and comfort she was looking for right now.

I was her tormentor and her life-line and that was the irony of our entwined fates.

I felt her beat her fists on my back but felt no pain as my mind had become numb to all but what Annika was feeling right now. As my arms stubbornly held her tight, I heard her moan and break down just like she did when she had thought Sahil dead in the car bomb. The pain in my chest was making it hard for me to breathe and my eyes were burning with Annika's tears.

I rocked her back and forth to comfort us both as I kept muttering over and over again, "I am sorry Annika!!! I am so sorry for what I have done to you. Please stop crying because it is tearing me apart to see you like this."

But Annika, I felt, was in a world far away filled with pain, loneliness and suffering and I knew, somehow, that she was unable to hear me.She had drifted far from me and my voice.

As she kept moaning and chanting, "Why me ??? God!! Why is it always me?? Will this ever stop??", I felt something slash at my heart with every word she said, making it bleed and tear causing me unbearable pain.

I held on tighter afraid that she was going to slip away from me for good.

I would make this right. I swore I would make it right no matter how long it took or what I had to do. I would repent for my mortal sins if it meant a better life for her. Please God help me make this right because I am clueless as to how one can repent for all the despicable things that I have done to her.

Chapter 24 - Page 73

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