So, it was near impossible to watch yesterday's episode and not want to write. So here goes my take on it.
Yesterday we were treated to what may just be every girl's secret dream - nah not the charming prince on a horse, but the practiced wooing by an experienced, tall, dark, rakishly handsome man with a wicked bone.
Yes yes yes I know this is going to lead to heartbreak and pain and redemption but in my humble opinion that is what made yesterday's cynical yet romantic interlude all the more special. We saw moments when her innocence tore his cynicism to shreds; when he had to physically close his eyes to her reality... a reality that he is telling himself again and again is nothing but a pretence - and school his thoughts and bring himself back on track... hell bent on achieving his purpose - proving to his silly fool of a younger brother that this girl is not what she seems. The only problem being, every other second he is beset with doubts and his own feelings for this girl. He has been fighting a losing battle - he doesn't want to be attracted to any chit of a girl... he doesn't want to be in love. But his heart and mind are at cross purposes.
When her eyes fill up when talking about her Abu, Sahir has to drag himself back in to his twisted, dark reality, which has no place for the light of Arzoo. But he is not willing to let go of her light either. Somewhere deep inside he knows that she is his salvation, the one who will free him and liberate him from his self-imposed imprisonment... he knows she is his home.
Later he slips into the role of the seducer with cynical ease. He praises her beauty, he woos her with flowers, gifts, his seductive words and the moon itself. And oh she falls... how she falls for his seduction. She doesn't fight it. She doesn't let thoughts of I should not', this is wrong', 'what will XYZ say' intrude in to these special moments. Her only wish is that time stops and these moments go on forever. The sad fact is that they will go on forever... but instead of providing her with comfort, happiness and joy, these smiles and passionate memories will turn to ashes and leave her with an aching heart. A heart that we know that eventually Sahir himself will heal, but it is going to be an arduous journey. This shark has bitten off more than he can, and should, chew... and somewhere deep inside he knows... or at least I hope he knows.
Why do I hope? Cause keeping aside the smooth dance moves and twirls and hugs and soft kisses on her hair and nudges with his nose, when she finally nestled in his arms in a sweet hug, the man did let his guard down. His master plan of seduction had included romance and a confession of love... from her. But in that moment as he held her, with his eyes closed, I think, he speaks the truth when he says - 'In this moment, with the entire truth of my being, I love you.'
Makes me wonder what would have happened if she had not rejected his love but looked at him with her truth and love in her eyes? Would he in that honest and vulnerable moment, seen her truth and integrity and her deep, abiding love for him, in her eyes? What ifs are always a wasteful exercise but one that we all indulge in. But we know that she does not go down the oft tread-ed path. She does something that very few women may have been able to do in the face of a master seducer. She thinks. And she says the one thing that Sahir did not expect. She does not love him.
As she steps away, he tries to hold on to her hand... to his peace, but she pulls away and looks at him with those pained and tearful eyes. And as her hand pulls away the magical mist that had enveloped him with the hug... lifts... taking away with it his poetic heart, leaving behind the shark. A manipulative and ruthless businessman making his calculations and realising that 2 plus 2 is still not adding up to 4. The shark has more work to do. He has many more miles to traverse before he can find his home again and rest in peace. The real tragedy will be when he realises that he had her... he had always had her... but he lost his chance at making a future with her cause of the shadow of his past. Sigh! Bittersweet journey ahead and I guess, we can all salivate watching Sahir struggle to make it up to Arzoo.