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When Kesar confesses his feeling in the rain, Gulaal cries in disappointment and slaps him. She does not cry in joy of finding out that Kesar loves her, but because the purpose of her life is lost.
Going back in the story, Kesar is Vasants beloved little brother and Gulaal also possibly treats him as her younger brother. She likes him because Vasant loves him. Kesar was so fond of her from day one that he also wanted to marry her when Vasant was getting married.
Because of this closeness with him, she was very confident that Kesar would do what she tells him. Even after the deeyar-vatoo Gulaal took charge of him and taught him all the nice things and made him apologize to Talli for something he did. She even gave him a bath. She brought him up as Vasant would have looked after him. It was more of a motherly treatment and in the same context she decided that she will bind him in marriage with Talli and she was very sure that it will happen her way.
When Kesar was sent to the boarding school, he missed Gulaal and in his mind he thought her as his wife, wrote the letters but did not post it to her out of the anger that Gulaal sent him away.
When Kesar returned, Gulaal put Talli forward as her selection for Kesar, Kesar interacted with her but as a friend. This interaction was mis-read by everyone including Talli. In between Kesar saw the woman in Gulaal and got attracted to her beauty.
He indicated to her by giving compliments and the special gift (chunari) Gulaal never seemed to be pleased but she seems to be more shaken (not stirred!!)
She pushed Talli harder to get Kesar's attention. She did not want Talli to find out that Kesar is falling for her. In her mind she raised him as his own son/brother. Thats the reason she does not answer anyone why she does not agree on this deeyar-vatoo in the true context and not accept Kesar as her husband. She simply says it means nothing but why? she never spat it out. She even slapped Kesar in front of the whole family thinking that she has a right slap him as his younger brother or son. In front of MotaBha she takes responsibility to set Kesar right. Thats why when he comes home drunk she is shaken and upset because of what the family will say that how she brought him up.
Even when she drowned saving Talli and Kesar was angry, not talking to her, she said clearly that 'mera pyaar tere liye kam nahin hoga' it was not a lovers wala pyaar.
Lately she went in for a Varat as per the customs which gave Kesar some surety of his relationship with her. She was not comfortable doing it. She did it under pressure from PaanBa.
For the same reason she behaved so adamantly and even started begging Kesar to marry Talli. She took the opportunity to release Kesar of this deeyar-vatoo, thinking if that is stopping Kesar to marry Talli. She took it to the extent of everyone dislike, ending up in Panchayat and then not agreeing to Panchayaat decision. But then consequences of not following Panchayaat decision put her in place.
She still felt bad for Talli but then she could not do much.
Now when Kesar tells her that it is love what attracts him and he loves her. Gulaal cannot believe this, her whole world goes down, the relationship she thought she had with him was finished in a moment and Kesar looks at him as a lover or another woman and not as what she thinks herself to be his... mother??
She does not want to be called Kesar wife at any cost. She is beyond that. That she still wants Kesar to marry Talli. Now is the time Talli will read or give her the letters, which will enlighten Gulaal that Kesar always loved her as his partner. This should help Gulaal understand that what Kesar is going through.
But still in her mind, its like incest. Kesar is a kid and she wanted him to stay that way.
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