Welcome Welcome to the Spoof interview session. This is your beautiful Aishwarya Rai ' replica of a host speaking, Miss Samira. Just in case you guys missed out on last weeks segment, here's a re-cap of our interview with Dev Singh Khurana.
~ LAST WEEK - IN SPOOF KI INTERVIEW ~
Samira the Great: So Mr Dev, please do tell us ' Out of all the four heroines that came into your life. That is, Geet Handa, Naintara, that random girl whose name is forgotten but had fishy lips (Let's call her Voldermort since her name cannot be mentioned) and Nandini. Which one was your actual true love!?
Dev: '... Umm Tweaks glasses
Samira the Great: Whilst your thinking about that question, let me ask a few more. How is it that a man like yourself who cannot fight nor defend himself other than tweaking your glasses and giggling into your chest manage to get more girl admirers than your hunk of a brother Maan Singh Khurana? Do you think it would have been wise if you got yourself medically checked for any STD's or such before making such a drastic decision of marrying Nandini?
Dev: " Giggles into his chest and tweaks the rim of his glasses again ".
Turns to the camera * Well Dev's love and STD life is still a mystery to us audiences. If you have the answer then please contact us via email or comments. Today's interview session ends with a major question!
Dev Hui Apni Sexuality Se Parayi. Yeh Mard Hai Ya ek bazaar ki tawaif?
~ TODAYS SPOOF KI INTERVIEW ~
Ahem now back to today's interview segmentation. Courtesy to our lovely live updater Tanu who managed to persuade the Maan Singh Khurana to join us in today's episode. Please give him a round of applause as our very own MK joins us today. * Girls cheers and swoons. The reporter Samira mentally growls seductively at him *
Samira the swooner: Good afternoon Mr Khurana, first and foremost thank you so much for coming here today. We heard you were sick a couple of days ago, I pray that you are feeling better now?
Maan: Thank you Miss Samira. Before I answer your question, I just had to get this off my muscular tanned chest. If I hadn't met Geet, I would have instantly fallen in love with you.
Samira the swooner: * Flutters Eyelash ' but stops as she remembers who she is sitting in front of. EYELASH KING! * er... thanks :) So Mr Khurana do you honestly honestly feel that the audience is stupid?
Maan: How so?
Samira; Well in the recent episodes, we were shown a HAND. That is a HAND that did not BELONG TO YOU! * Eyes hand lustfully, jaws ticking, nostrils flared *
Maan: * Uncomfortably hides hands* Well you see Miss Samira, I was quite sick and I could not -
Samira: You could not what? Was your hands sick as well Mr Khurana? Like your body, was your hands also suffering from the illness? The torture endured whence seeing another pair of unattractive hands trying to touch Geet was unbearable. I'm sure your hands weren't that sick enough to not at least have a screen shot of it!
Maan: Well Miss, I did not know the audience would react so severely about the lack of my hands screen presence.
Samira: Is your hands insured Mr Maan Singh Khurana?
Maan: I believe not.
Samira: If John Abraham can have his buttocks insured, than I am sure your hands are liable enough to be financially backed up as well.
Maan: Oh ' kay?
Samira: Do you get a manicure done?
Maan: Is this interview about me or my hands?
Samira: * loses her cool * ANSWER ME DAMNIT!
Maan: No I don't.
Samira: * Covers her own hands * I see. Moving onto the next set of your attributes. Do you put on false lashes?
Maan: * sigh * no.
Samira: Mascara? It's Max Factor isn't it? Okay okay Loreal? Oh wait hm your a business owner so it's got to be something expensive. It's MAC isn't it?
Maan: Miss, I do not have false lashes and nor do I wear mascara.
Samira: Indeed. If you say so. If you really really say so... So Mr Maan, moving onto your fabulous relationship with Geet. There is something the whole world is dying to know. How is it possible that you managed to save Geet from drowning in shallow water? I mean sure you removed your top, dived in like a hero, but saved her in an ocean that only reached your waist? Do you still feel arrogant about the scene? Do you really feel like a man by saving a girl from a water in which a little girl can stand up in? Can you really smugly call yourself a strong swimmer? Can you? Answer me!
Maan: Clearly you got the story wrong and so did everyone else. The water was very deep, and It seemed like I was standing up. However, there was no screen shot of my feet at that time. If so, it would have shown you all that I was leg and foot paddling to keep us both floating.
Samira: Were you also dog paddling when you walked through the 'deep' ocean.
Maan: I don't feel comfortable with this question. By legal rights I am entitled to keep my silence.
Samira: Indeed. Next question. What's with your fetish with planting Grandpa pecks on Geet's forehead? Is there some invisible sign stuck on her forehead that says 'Kiss me here?'. How bout we stick some notes on her lips, neck and cheeks that says 'Pash me here with all the French kisses you know'.
Maan: I am a respectful man. Forehead kisses are very dignified and
Samira: Fatherly * nods head *. Look Mr Khurana, sometimes we don't even know if you feel husbandly towards your wife or if your having the urge to become her father.
Maan: Now look here -
Samira: ALSO! * butts in * Are we wrong to question your sexuality if we see you openly accepting Mama Ji's sloppy wet kisses whilst at the same time you romance by kissing your own hands over your wifes?
Maan: I don't kiss my hands. And Mama ji was drunk, I didn't want to hurt Geets feelings by pushing the old man away.
Samira; Look, there is nothing to be ashamed of. If you do swing the other way, then please accept it like Ricky Martin did. We will happily mark your entry in the Maryada Forums. There is no shame to kiss your own hands, If I had those pair of human flesh ' I would have kissed them too. Anyway we are getting no where with these questions that have no adequate responses. Do tell me, what is it with you craning your head up and looking at the ceiling whilst hugging Geet? The scene is so awkward. I'm sure I wouldn't want to hug my husband only to find myself gazing at the column of his neck whilst his too busy bending it backwards staring at the stars.
Maan: As you can see, Geet is quite tall and
Samira: And your just not tall enough. Answer understood. Moving on.
Maan: But I haven't even justified -
Samira: There is no justifications. Either you accept that you are just not tall enough, or confess that you have a secret need to look like a long necked dinosaur. ANYHOW! The last & final question which everyone is dying to know about is the CON or LACK OF CON sequences. Tell me Maan, was Geet your first?
Maan: Ah... That is a very personal question.
Samira: Then explain why you can be so intimate before your marriage, trying to seduce Geet in front of the fire place? You seemed quite eager to roll around in a deserted random house, yet when the actual consummating scene came, you rolled in a patch of hay with no actions other than kissing her clothes. Why would you even kiss those clothes? I say burn them alive! How is it possible that Sasural Ghenda Phool even had a better con scene? I mean WTH!?
Maan: Sasural Ghenda Phool had a CON scene?
Samira: Believe it or not they did. And guess what? They actually used a 'bed' not a hay shed. They rolled around in bed, they used peacock feathers to brush the heroine's shaven legs and what not. What did you use? A strand of HAY? Which girl would feel loved knowing that their rich husband would rather trace their face with hay sticks then pluck a feather out of a peacock's ass?
Maan: I feel that this interview has been blown out of proportion. You have painted a horrid and bias image of me and I feel that I have been wronged and misunderstood. Let me assure you -
Samira: And that's all for today folks. Next week we will have an interview with Geet to see how she feels being touched by a hay stick. Tune in for our next episode! We leave you with a couple of questions to answer. Please send your responses via email or comments. The winner gets to have an interview with Samira the great. The questions are:
Do you think Maan is proud of his unshaven look?
Does Maan Singh Khurana do his eyebrows?
What is the logic behind Maan being less hairier than us girls?
Has Maan been shown romancing his Jeep more than his wife?
That's all for today. Good Night! Special thanks to Tannu <3
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