Maan and Geet - Dil ka Haal

On a hollow starless night,

Feeling blue and alight

I watched as a spider struggled ahead

Rebuilding the web, ruined by one mere thread

The journey from corner to stair

The relentless effort in despair

Yet those sparkling eye shining with hope

There is much inspiration to cope

The web shall be complete again

Bringing liberation of all the pain

Who am I? (From Geet to self)

Who am I? Where am I? Where did I come from? Why am I here? What am I doing? What are my sins? What are my virtues? What have I earned? What have I lost? Was it all worth it in the end? Am I the one who is making my existence lifeless? Am I going on committing even more sins? Who is sending me onto these unwanted roads of life? Who is stopping me from moving on the proper walks of life? Is it me? Is it my own mind, which has prevailed controls over all my actions? I am standing in the core of an ocean full of many questions like these. Where do I go? How do I find my answers? The cycle of life spins very slowly yet very fast. At one point I am at ease that I have time, and at another, I am nervous that may be I have already lost my chance. Today I am at crossroads, from where there is not one, or two, but many ways forward. Which direction leads to my destination? Where is my destiny? Some of these roads take me far away from my fate. I am scared. I am afraid because my heart is telling me may be I have chosen the wrong path. My mind is fighting with my heart. What shall I name this predicament? I have heard that all our actions are all analyzed towards the end of our lives, and a punishment is set. But I need this analysis done today. Where do I seek the advice? Until now, I had a guardian angel watching over me, who came to answer all my questions one way or the other. Is he watching over me today? Does he have an answer for me today? Why does it feel like he is around, so close to me? I close my eyes and feel his touch, his softness kissing me. I open my eyes and he is no where to be found. I pushed him away. That was what my heart's justice called for. Was it right? Then why does my heart yearn so deeply for him? He was God's offering to me. He made my life pure. This purity is calling out to me. I have wasted so much time fighting with myself. I crave to unite with my soul. Lord please give me strength to fight my desires and to do what's right; don't let me do what my ignorant mind thinks is right! Help me find my destiny, and help me now!