OS- CHURNING BUTTER!!

Folks, why is Geet doing what she is doing..well, the simple answer is that the CVs are getting her to do it...and yet, if a woman were to actually do what she is doing, what would be her reasoning..this is an attempt to take a peek into Geet's mind...!

CHURNING BUTTER!!

It was a desultory afternoon in Biji's household. Biji was out somewhere resolving yet another petty dispute in the village and Tej, of course, had accompanied his mother like he was wont to do. Lucky was off to yet another arm wrestling contest with some poor sucker in the market place. The house was in a state of uncharacteristic quiet but, more importantly, there was freedom in the air. Pammi and Lachchi gossiped gleefully even as they were engaged in their respective chores. Pammi was stirring something on the stove like always while Lachchi was seated on the floor churning butter. Geet sat at the table, listening to their chitchat with half a mind. Yes, half a mind, because the other half was away with him. Yes, him!! The dratted man had driven the car off with a smirk on his face, right after he gave her a sidelong glance and a wink, making sure that Biji and Tej Veerji did not notice.

Geet sighed heavily, prompting Pammi to look at her in concern. She smiled and shook her head slightly to reassure Pammi that all was well with her. The poor girl was petrified ever since her husband and mother-in-law had made Geet her responsibility and Geet only had to sneeze for Pammi to throw her hands up in alarm. Little did they all know that the threat to Geet's piece of mind was dallying with her, right under their noses.

Geet shuddered to think of what would happen if the truth came out. She was concerned for Maan but not scared for him. She knew her man after all. He could hold his own against just about anybody in this world. There was just one force in the world that could bring him to his knees and that was his love, Geet herself!! The thought gave Geet no sense of pride or consolation. It was just a fact of life, much like breathing and Geet knew in her heart that the same held true for her too. He, and he alone, could bring her down as he had with his words in the kitchen on Holi day. Try as hard as she did, she just could not shut those words out. They kept ringing in her ears, in her mind, in her soul. She wondered yet again, like she had countless times over the last few days, why she could not bring herself to forget. It would be such bliss, he would spirit her away in a trice if only she gave him the slightest inkling and then...!! Geet''s eyes half closed and her face grew hotter as her imagination filled up on the details that reality was yet to provide. She wondered what Maan would think if he knew she sat at the kitchen table fantasizing about him when she was supposed to be fighting with him, on self respect no less. Well, she could control her actions but she couldn't do much when it came to her thoughts, could she? And her dratted thoughts were always full of the dratted man..!

Was this struggle worth it after all? What was she going to achieve by this? She knew her body, mind and soul sprung to life only in his presence. She might as well have been a corpse all these days before he came. All he had to do was whisper her name in the hustle and bustle of a crowded market. The sound reached out to tug at her heart and soul, the laws of physics be damned! Anyway, said laws don't apply to the soul, do they?! She turned around to see him standing before her and suddenly the sunlight seemed brighter, the sounds of the market place a symphony, and the air around smelt sweeter, even as it fairly crackled with electricity, putting more laws of physics under threat. Geet shivered thinking of how it felt when he reached out and touched her cheek. In the darkest hours of the night, she had sobbed into her pillow wondering if she would feel that touch ever again, the touch that cleansed her heart and mind and soul of all its aches and pains.

Yet, she had found the strength to remove that heavenly touch. There was a part of her that continued to hate herself for doing that, for bringing that tinge of pain onto his beloved face and for all those bitter words that had gushed forth from her lips thereafter. Right then, even while she did and said all that, a part of her was asking her to shush, to stop before it was too late. To fling herself into his arms and cry her heart out, to grab his hand and run way so very far, where the rest of the world could not find them. Yet, she did none of that. The words continued to gush out of her mouth like water from a dam that had cracked. She was startled by the force of it herself. She didn't know she had it in her to deny him anything. How could she when he was part of her? He repeatedly said he was sorry and that he would accept any kind of punishment she saw fit to impose! Didn't he realize that their separation was his punishment, his sentence as much as it was hers? They were doomed to spend this time apart. She only hoped it would serve as a retreat of sorts, help them to come to terms with this all consuming love that they shared, to understand and treasure it better and to guard it against harm in the time to come!

She had done all that she had only for him and she realized now that he said all that he had just for her. He had taken offense on her behalf while she had chosen to make peace for his sake and his alone! It was Maan who told her that Dadi was the one person in the world who mattered most to him. Out of respect for that Dadi, she swallowed the presence, under the same roof, of a man who had destroyed her soul. She had tried her best to keep good cheer, to pretend all was well and to keep his dark shadow from touching their life and future together. She had almost succeeded in ignoring his presence as Maan and she continued to dream of their future together with their beloved baby. Fate had decreed that it was not to be and so the dream shattered. At a time when she needed Maan around her the most, for some reason he chose to keep away from her. Wallowing in her own sorrow and self pity, she failed to see the extent of his pain. Much as she hated it, it took Dev to get her to see what Maan was going through and what he wanted. How did she manage to lose perspective to that extent? Geet could only blame her own grief!

Determined to do what it took to make fresh beginnings, she had chosen to let go of her hate and contempt for Dev. To forgive him if only so there would be no blockades to her shared future with Maan. Secure as she was in Maan's love, there was a part of her that was still skeptical, which wondered if the dream would come apart at its seams at anytime! She did not want to leave anything to chance. Dadi, his beloved grandmother, would never intentionally harm her but what if there came a day when Maan had to choose between Dadi and her? No, she would never put Maan in that situation. He would never have to make that choice for she was willing to pay with her soul to be by his side. That is exactly what she did! When she forgave Dev and even played Holi with him, she willingly let a bit of her soul die, she killed it herself in fact! Yet, it was a small price to pay for her future happiness with Maan.

Why, oh why, did Maan not understand? Why did he choose to attack that very chink in her armour, her self respect and self worth - that which had been under constant attack, first by Dev, by her own family, and even by him at times. Yet, she thought they were past all that. She thought he knew her better than that. She thought he knew that if she had done what she had, there must be an overriding factor. She thought he would understand. Well, she thought wrong! She made him to be God! He was no God but a mere mortal - the best of them and yet mortal, just as she was herself!! Why did she make the mistake of assuming too much, expecting too much? Why did she imagine that he knew her better than she did herself? Did that mean her dreams were indeed unravelling? Did he actually mean some bit of what he said? Did he even realize what he was questioning her on and in the presence of whom? On the one side was a man who had destroyed her self worth while on the other, the man who had made her believe in herself, her self worth, made her believe she was God's gift to him. That very man, her soul mate, was questioning her sense of self worth in front of the very man who had destroyed it. She couldn't take it, she couldn't handle the pain of it anymore and she wanted to curl up and die! She wanted to hide in a dark corner and howl but she knew she could do none of that. So, she did the next best thing - she left! She left before she broke down completely. She did not want even her loved ones to witness the disintegration of her self worth all over again!! She wrapped the shreds of her pride around herself and walked out. She was strangely reminded of the first time they danced together and what followed thereafter. That time when he cloaked her pride with his own coat! Yet today, he had chosen to strip her of the same pride, leaving her naked in front of the very destroyer of her soul!!

Yet, in hindsight, she could see what had made him say it. For she knew him better then he knew himself. She knew what she and her honour meant to him! After all, he had said he would prefer to die before he let her suffer loss of honour. More importantly, she also knew his fear of loss. She knew that even while they were most secure in their love for each other, they were just as insecure!! Fate had not been particularly kind to either of them, it kept robbing them of their most prized possessions!! She did not know the details but she knew there were secrets in his past, there was a part of his soul that was still in darkness. And yet, she was content to wait for him to shed light on it himself. She trusted him with her life, what was a bit of his past after all? However, it was their insecurities which had driven them apart. Her insecurity and her need to make herself appear better and more deserving of him in the eyes of his family and his insecurity and fear of loss that clouded his mind and rendered him incapable of understanding her motivations. They needed time apart to introspect, to understand. Only then could they speak for dialogue would serve no purpose unless there was clarity of thought, mind and purpose.

When Geet ran, she knew too well that he would follow her. Her man was not a quitter and he would find it impossible to survive without her. She knew he would come. It was but a matter of time before he found her. So, she was not particularly surprised when she heard him whisper her name at the market place. She also knew that a part of him wasn't surprised over her intransigence. He also sensed that they needed to this time apart, to regroup, to rebond and to start over! It was a hiatus self imposed, a breathing space that would underline their need for each other, which would strengthen their resolve for the future. It was a separation that would make them feel more secure about each other, however contradictory that may sound. When she left him that day at the market, she knew he would find his way to her and woo her hard. And when she spotted him at Biji's doorstep in the garb of a Sardar, her soul broke into song but she couldn't let him know so easily, could she? This was a hunt that the prey would enjoy as much as the hunter!!

Geet's thoughts were broken when Lachchi handed her a tall glass of lassi. The heat was oppressive. Geet took the glass from her gratefully and sipped from it. As she drained the glass, she heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. Even as she looked up, she saw him striding into the kitchen like he owned the place. How did Biji and her brothers buy that driver excuse, she thought even as she stifled a giggle. He saw her and stopped right there. She lowered the glass and their eyes met for a moment. Was it just a moment, it seemed more like a lifetime! His eyes then lowered to her lips and she could feel the heat all over again. He looked back up at her and touched his own lips. Geet glared at him. The sheer guts of the dratted man! He was asking her for a kiss after all this! He put his tongue out just a bit and licked his lips before gesturing to her lips. She gave a small gasp. How dared he? Just then a thought struck her and she touched her lips. Her fingers came off with lassi froth on them. She blushed a fiery red and looked at him from under her lashes. He gave her a small smile and licked his lips yet again before saying aloud, " Will someone give this weary driver a glass of lassi with malai on top?". He looked at her as he said those last words and gave her a sly wink!!

Wow..you write really well! You should write more!

too good enjoyed every bit........................👍🏼

love it and the cheekiness of our dear driver..pls tell me u'll be continuing. 😍

really good! 👏 love your writing style...geet must really think like this..it makes sense now that we think in this way

beautifully written 👏

Thanks a ton, folks! Truly gratified!