Seven Vows Part 2- Chapter 154Page 148 - Page 28

Chapter 90- Economics of Marriage

Sreedhar was cleaning the moped the next day. Sudhir asked where was he going with the moped

" Sudhir Bhaiyya I am going to City Palace Jaipur with Poornima" told Sreedhar

" Sreedhar you are going to teach Poornima History" came in Suman taking flowers from the garden. Maheswari was doing Tulsi Pooja while Vindhya was standing and instructing the maid on cleaning the aangan. Renuka bought tea"

" No Sumanji I am not going to teach History, I am going to try teach her Economics of marriage and how her poor Papa didn't understand that Economics which is the base of all problems. Now since he understood it, she should give him a chance to correct the mistakes "

" Sreedhar just because you got gold medal in Economics doesn't mean you make all the things related to sanskaar in deal ok. Going to teach her economics of marriage "came in Maheswari and held his ear.

" Maa listen to me. In Economics there is always profit and loss in any transaction. In Marriage also it is there that's why boy is profit, girl is loss. The whole funda of female foeticide starts from this loss perspective to the owner due to marriage. There is no point in investing. Fun you know Maa. In Economics every property in market has a base price. People auction it. And it is given to the highest bidder. Now investment good or bad time only tells. But the property ends up with the higest bidder.

Now look at the marriage market. Who is the property here. Sanskar says girl. Because you do Kanyadan. First thing a donation is given only to a person who doesn't have that and needs it. In Economics the donor is kept higher and receives the benefit of donation. But look at marriage economics the person who donates that is the father of the girl, he has no value. Actually boy's parents has to be thankful to the girl's parents that they found their family eligible to send the girl or found their son a good match for their daughter. But no. Boys parents take Kanyadan as their right which is against economics basic principles. Now look from market perspective where you make deals. Here boy is in market. Based on family name, education, looks etc etc he has a base price and the parents auction him. The father of the girl who pays the highest dowry is the highest bidder to his market property. As per economics the boy should belong to the highest bidder that is girl's family, but marriage economics the bidder loses the money, loses the daughter but doesn't get the son-in-law. So it is reverse economics. And in a society if a man who decides to fall in love against societal norms doesn't understand this reverse economics with which marriage is dealt with the woman suffers.

Maheswari looked at her son astonished. When has he grown up so much to understand such societal disparities with clarity. " Enough of economics. Come have breakfast and go. One more thing Sudhir and Sreedhar take Suman to our main warehouse in Jaipur tomorrow. New stock comes there right. Let her take some nice good cotton sarees for herself. And take Vindhya too. For once solve her complaint that you always give her old stock. Renu we have to go to the KJ jewellers tomorrow " told Maheswari. As they walked inside Suman turned and looked at him, he winked and she smiled showing question mark. He indicated he has answers.

Poornima was eagerly waiting for Sreedhar. She had a long discussion with Harkishore and Pratap. Harkishore told her everything that has happened. He also told her he believe Maheswari that she and Tilak's grand mother were not aware as they had not seen any woman from Tilak's family when the incident happened. Tilak himself was not seen. As per her mother someone had given her Papa sedation and dragged him away and she was given sedation too. Their marriage had lasted just a day.

She saw Sreedhar coming and ran towards him. " Poorni are you ready shall we go"

" yes Chachu I was waiting for you" she said getting behind the moped. She waved to Harkishore. Soon they reached City Palace Jaipur. Sreedhar parked his moped and they mingled with the tourists and other crowd .

" You have been here Poorni"

" No Chachu. I am coing here for the first time though I have heard about it"

" Poorni the guide will tell you very interesting stories of this palace. Listen to all the stories. After that we will sit under that banyan tree and talk whatever you want to talk"

" Chachu why do I feel in the stories of this palace answers to my questions are hidden. That's why you bought me here"

" Poorni sometimes history offers us interesting perspective. If you see economics of those times and economics of these times fundamentals have not changed, only the currency used for transaction changed. When you learn history you understand fundamentals so that it is easy for you to use the currency for the right choices .I just want to take you through fundamentals. So shall we start"

They walked the palace listening to the various stories of the king, his multiple wives. The way queen dressed for Teej, the king who took Gangajaal to England in big vessels everything. After roaming for around 1-2 hrs across the length and breadh of the palace discussing the architecture, weapons etc they came and sat under the banyan tree. Sreedhar bought ice candy for both of them.

" Now shoot your questions" told Sreedhar.

" Chachu did you know about who I am when you first saw me "

" No Poorni. I didn't even knew you existed at that time. I didn't even knew my elder bhaiyya had loved someone until a couple of months back. Your Papa as far as I could remember is a somber person. But Sudhir Chachu had known Tilak Bhaiyya loved Anu Bhabi. But even he didn't know about the marriage until few days back"

" Chachu you knew who I was when you came to collect the family photo"

" Yes Poorni I knew who you were when I came to collect the family photo"

" Then Chachu why didn't you tell then. You could have told me naa that I am your niece. You didn't trust I was your niece"

" Poorni it was not I trusted. For all the family including myself, Sudhir Chachu, Vindhya Chachi, Suman Chachi and Maa the fact that Tilak Bhaiyya have told Renu Bhabi that he married Anu Bhabi and they shared a hus-wife relation was enough to accept you as ours. But Poorni since Anu Bhabi was character assassinated in the community meeting, also the fact that a hospital form was given to your Papa telling Anu Bhabi have aborted the child we need to have every evidence to ensure that when we say who your father is no one else comes claiming the same. You know Mahantji and what all he can manipulate. What if he sends a con man with some docuemnts he is your father. Your mother's credibility and your credibility and even your Papa' and our family's credibility in jeopardy. We wanted to ensure when your paternity is claimed no one anymore will question Anu Bhabi or her character or the legitimacy of your birth"

" Chachu when you first heard everything what did you feel"

" I was sad, angry and heartbroken Poorni. This is a fact. I wanted to shout at bhaiyya and my Papa. But then I understood from Renu Bhabi Bhaiyya had already punished himself enough with the guilt that he has been responsible for the death of his child. He forced his wife to destroy the symbol of their love. Then I decided to look at it from a different perspective"

" Sreedhar Chachu if my father truly loved Maa, why did he married second time. Couldn't he have refused the second marriage and why my dadu and great dadu didn't accept Maa into the family"

" Poorni when we roamed the palace did you hear how many wives the king had"

" 12" said Poorni " and in addition there were other woman in his life who were not given the status of wife"

" First thing why the king had 12 wives "

" I don't know and it has intrigued me why men marry so many times. All kings had more than a wife "

" Because Poorni in theory we tell marriage happens because of the love between 2 people. But when you live in the society love is the last thing in people's agenda as far as marriage goes. Marriage is a diplomatic deal to expand kingdoms, it is a peace treaty, expand businesses, get lineage, get dowry etc etc.. and unfortunately all these rules are biased against woman then and even now . So king would have married each of his wife for a reason which exactly wont be love. And sad thing is that sometimes even a man is forced to do such things even if he doesn't want.

In your father's case he was blackmailed taking Maa's your late Murali Chachu's and my name. Me and Murali Chachu were kids then. It was told we all will be send from the house if your Papa didn't listen to Dadu. At that time your Papa didn't know your Maa got pregnant and as per him she was with your nanu and naani. So to protect his kid brother's he agreed for the marriage with Renu Bhabi. He thought if your mother goes away from Jaipur she can also start a new life "

"Now coming to why your Maa was not accepted. Do you know why king didn't marry certain woman but kept relations with them"

" No "told Poorni

" One of the key reasons is caste. Marriage is a social currency and marriage between partners gives the child share to the property, also the heir to the throne also come from the married woman. So to keep the pedigree of the lineage certain castes are not allowed to marry each other. But relations can be kept. As children born out of such relations are not legitimate and does not have right on property. It is a very bad tradition like mistreating of widows.

Your Papa wanted to break that tradition. By marrying a woman from a caste that is generally called low caste he wanted to give legitimacy to such relations. In short he wanted to bring about a change that marriage is not a deal, but happens due to the love between 2 people. Unfortunately he failed then. Because the system was too strong and he didn't had any support. System separated your Papa and Maa.

But Poorni where the system failed was, with your Maa. Her love for your Papa, her trust in your Papa that if he knows you are there he will accept you made her break all the barriers of traditions and using the garb of a widow she gave birth to you. She protected the symbol of their love with her sacrifice. And your Papa do you know that your dadi wanted Aakash's name to be Adithya. But your Papa disagreed because somewhere in his heart he believed his wife wouldn't have destroyed the symbol of their love. He truly wanted you Poorni. And look in a society who wants boys and boys only he had selected names not only for the son, but also for a daughter. Doesn't it show you he never discriminated based on the gender. He was willing to welcome the child whether it is a boy or a girl as it is his child.

Poorni you are the victory of their love story. Your values, your upbringing shows the society irrespective of your parents belonging to 2 separate castes you stand out as an individual with pedigree and a mind of your own. You have cut at a tradition that is destroying lives of many women. Do you realize how many lives you are bringing light to. You are the symbol of love Poorni. Your Papa's trust on your Maa and your Maa's trust on your Papa irrespective of the restrictions the traditions threw at them. I know wherever Anu Bhabi is, she will be happy. Allow your Papa to feel the victory of his rebellion after 15 years. The system he couldn't cut, you cut. Give him a chance to be a father to you. "

Poornima looked at Sreedhar. She smiled. " I think I am understanding Papa, his compulsions, his guilt and I think maybe when I meet him, I will be able to forgive him. Thank you Chachu. I knew you will speak openly to me and will not hide things. Also me and Vaishnav won because of you, then many other people. Maybe Papa didn't get the support I got or he didn't know how to get the right support for his cause"

Sreedhar patted her shoulders. Ice candy was finished. " Shall we go back". Poornima nodded and they walked towards the moped.

Sree is amazing the way he explained... loved the part..

Hai Shruthi

Thanks Ria and Beautiful. If you have someone in the family who can answer your questions, who accept you have problems with traditions many emotional issues can be avoided. Problem is when people refuse to answer the queries and force the other person to accept their POV as it is the majority view or tradition demands it.

shruthi, amazing how your thoughts about marriage between 2 people is so similar to mine. But for me my Grand father was their to answer all my doubts though he was an illiterate. He was the one who gave me so much depth to the knowledge of family and relationship and how to put that into practice. So Sree convinced not just Poornima but his mother and lover as well about his strategies about a beautiful relation called marriage.

You know what I have been told that in our tradition (back then) it was a practice that the boys family during wedding used to pay some amount to the girls family, not to say the girl belong to them but as a token of gratitude for taken care of their daughter in law so far and also felicitate the bride's mother for giving birth to such girl and giving the much needed values and used to request her not to shed tears for her daughter as from that day onwards, she will be their daughter and will be well taken care. There were no dowry system then but they (boy's family) used to "Kanya Shulka" to the community also and in case of problem for the girl or the boy (family), the community used to get in between and resolve the problems.

@jaya I have also heard about something called bride money which the groom's parents used to pay as a token of appreciation for the bride's family for trusting them in giving away their daughter.

@ Shruthi, I had zero knowledge about the love life between husband and wife and learnt that post marriage with his patient guidance. But with regard to tradition, rituals, how to deal with situations at different circumstances @ sasural post marriage and with others in day to day life, I was well versed before marriage as we grew up hearing the stories of Ramyam, Mahabharat and also history from my father, uncle & grand father. they used to clarify all our doubts without getting angry. That helped me a lot in my career to deal with different types of people as I can gauge them well in the first meeting or first call. That helped me to conquer they best Bahu position in sasural as well.

It is really required to teach our youngsters about our epics, history and also about our family tree and family tradition so that they can get adopted to all situations easily.

@jaya this is where you and I differ. You knew to make relations, rituals, traditions etc etc before marriage. Me the rebel had scant regard for rituals, traditions and so many other things. Because of the way they were biased towards woman. And the status of my mom in the family due to my parents love marriage and what happened to my bua for her marriage shaped me. One of the key reasons being no one to guide rightly and the information you take on the go in the patririachial set up. If not for Ramayana, MB, BG and other stories of Indian mythology and Panchatantra and my youngest aunt I would have messed up big time. Because those stories somewhat guided me to keep my foot on the ground and my aunt gave me basic grooming. Observe the situation. It is my husband who has given the most patient hearing for me, guided me with managing relations and also my 2 elder SILs.

@ shruthi, yes it depends on the atmosphere of the family. for me it was really a very good one as my mother was loved by her in laws like their own daughter and even her BILs (younger ones) gave her the respect they used to give to their mother and even today they do that. So there was no biased treatment for girls and boys in the family or may be because girls were the first kids and still we got the love of the whole family. Not just with traditions, but also with managing money matters, my Grand father taught us by hard way.

My grandparents lived in a village and we used to go their during our Dasara & summer holidays. So during thn he used to allocate some work like fetching water, washing the vessels etc and fro that he used to pay us some money (though huge now but then we used to feel overwhelmed) and with that he used ask us how we are going to spend that and also correct us if we are too eager to spend the whole earnings. That is when I learnt that with whatever we earn, we need to keep something for elders & youngers (to spend on them), for self, some for pooja (to buy camphor or flower) and some as reserve for later emergency, if by chance we may not be able to earn that similar amount next due to some sickness etc., we should not feel distressed without money while others enjoy.

Now we are passing on those things to our younger generation.

Chapter 91- Delicate Touch

Suman and Vindhya were in the car. They had been asked to come to Jaipur main warehouse by evening so that they can select the sarees. When they reached Sudhir and Sreedhar were waiting for them. Once they entered the warehouse , Sudhir closed the door and ensured only 4 of them were there.

" Sreedhar cotton sarees are inside, you go with Suman there. Spend some time with each other. Don't worry about time. It will take ages for your bhabi to go through all the stock here. She will want most of the things and by the time I convice her to take only 4 or 5 it will be midnight" told Sudhir and Vindhya made faces.

" Suman atleast you enjoy. My fate is gone from the time I am tagged with him. 4 or 5 sarees. Everytime profit or loss. As if I need to come this far and see so much just to take 4 or 5"

Suman and Sreedhar laughed. " Bhaiyya all the best. Bhabi doesn't seem to be in right mood " told Sreedhar as he and Suman moved inside.

Once inside Sreedhar dragged 2 chairs across the table and they sat opposite to each other. " You read my letter " asked Suman

" Yes, but before I answer your question, I have a question for you" told Sreedhar

" Question for me, what question " asked Suman

" Why you didn't want to marry Suman and why you changed your decision and accepted my love"

Suman stared at him

They were in the terrace of her hostel " Sumi you had never told me who were the man of your dreams. What kind of a man you wanted as your husband. I have heard girls dream about their marriage. And my bhabi says even before you people get a groom you plan what dress you wear, what jewellery you wear, what will be there for the wedding feast etc..so what were your plans or what are your plans "

" I have never thought about marriage Sreedhar. Actually I had no plans of getting married.I wanted to study, get a job and go to some city in South like Bangalore or Madras with Maa"

" Really don't lie. All girls will have dreams of marriage " Sreedhar persisted

" Sreedhar is it mandatory for a girl to have dreams about marriage. I don't have believe me"

She walked in a huff and stood near the railing of the terrace. He went behind her and turned her towards him " Ok baba fine you didn't had any dream of marriage. I will not ask anything about it. Now you love me, you want to marry me . Now smile. I don't like that frown in your face" she laughed

" Sreedhar I told you that day itself I didn't had dreams of marriage and if a girl doesn't have such a dream should there be a reason" told Suman

" You know there is a reason Suman. And now I have guessed some of it. But I want to know from you. I can withstand any pain in your past Suman. But to ensure your past doesn't cloud our future I want to know that past. Story of Suman Rajput's scarred childhood "

Suman got up walked towards the window and stood there sometime holding the window bars. Then she looked at Sreedhar " I was afraid of marriage Sreedhar, I was afraid of my identity getting ripped off and I was afraid of a man's touch. I was like an unwanted furniture at home . If my father saw me he will find a reason to beat me. He called me the reason for all his failures. My mother's status in the family was that of a slave because she only had me not a son. She did all the housework, was publicly humiliated by my dadi and other badi maa's. Sometimes dadi will beat her, sometimes Papa. And if they are really angry hot tawa will be placed on her hands. Even with burnt hands and bruised body she will be made to work. My mother told me it is a woman's fate that she has to bear all this if she cannot give a son to the family.My mother also told a woman's family wants to throw her out as soon as possible and her husband's family will have value for her only if a boy is born. But to be frank even my badi maa's who had sons were not treated anything superior. They were also abused but in lesser scale

From that time I detested marriage. I always wanted to fight this fate of a woman which is tied in marriage and giving birth to a son. The books I read made me quietly work towards it by studying. I was not sure how far I will be allowed to study. But study was my only option of escaping the prison called marriage. If in childhood I saw the violence outside, in teenage I heard about the violence in the bedroom that happens between hus-wife, when my Devika didi came back home thrown out from her sasural because she had only 2 daughters and her husband remarried. You can say her coming back improved my maa's condition as she became the new slave for my bhabi's. But her condition was pathetic. She was always sick, mostly will have stomach pain and once when I asked why she has it frequently I came to know about the brutal assault a husband does to a wife in the bedroom. Everyday her husband ripped her apart even during those days when a woman has her monthly cycle. If she cried, protested she will be slapped. Most days she will be tied and then raped. But it was bearing that was said to be a wife's duty as the husband had right to use her the way he wanted. She had multiple infections due to all this. Stories of my other 2 sisters were not something different. Only thing is that they have sons so I guess they are surviving in their sasural.

If in childhood I detested marriage, in teenage I became afraid of it. Everyone told me I am not supposed to question. This is a woman's fate. A man needs her only to bear a son. If she cant do that then there is no need for her" she looked at him wiping her tears

Sreedhar got up went near her. He held the other bar of the window. " Then why did you change your opinion, why did you accept my love "

She looked at him " Because you made me feel I am an individual. I have a right to question when you listened to it and I can have comforts and discomforts when you went all the way to make me comfortable for the Jodi dance and .. " she stopped

" And.. why did you stop". Suman blushed in between tears. " Tell Sumi " he urged

" You touched me as if I am the most delicate thing on this earth" . Sreedhar covered her hands with his.

" And now in my touch you don't feel you are the most delicate thing, you feel I am not making effort to make you comfortable or my respect to you as an individual gone down"

" I didn't tell anything like that Sreedhar. I used to bloom in your touch and I still bloom in your touch. You are making every effort to keep me comfortable and no Sreedhar please don't ever think that I feel you disrespect me"

" Sumi if you don't feel any difference in the way I touch you, why you ended up having insecurities. I shared a very intimate moment with you Sumi and I talked to you about it. If I don't consider you my Sumi do you think I can walk happily after that incident. I don't even call you bhabi. I call you Sumanji. Because even for public courtesy I cannot call you that. Because I don't see you that way. You know I couldn't even fill up the hospital form with the relation the society has put on us and had asked Tilak Bhaiyya to fill it when you were attacked. My eyes see you with only one relation Sumi. The relation we both committed to each other in front of Maa Durga. And it is not an obligation Sumi. It is a commitment. If a problem had befallen you after our formal marriage wouldn't I have stood by you. Same thing I am doing now also because for me we are one and I know you feel the same way"

" Sumi shall I tell you one thing frankly. I want to hug you, I really want to hug you and hold you close to me. But I wont do it. Not because you are Suman Murali Varma to me, but you are Suman Murali Varma to this society. I do not want even a small blemish on you for satisfying a personal desire of mine. This society will point fingers only at you Sumi, and I will go scott free. I do not want to give anyone any chance for that. This distance is not for me Sumi, but for the society till they are able to see you through my eyes"

Now tears were flowing from his eyes and Suman wiped them " I love you Sreedhar. I didn't ask question to hurt you or bring pain to you. But because I want it out of my system. I do not want our relation to have any doubts hanging between us "

" No Sumi. You have the right to ask me. If it pains we will share the pain but let us not suppress our pain alone. Now you come. Look at the sarees you want "

" Sreedhar you chose. I will wear them " told Suman.

" Sumi I am very bad at choosing sarees. You choose I will support "

Soon Suman selected some 5-6 sarees. " This is enough Sreedhar"

" Just 5-6, Sumi select more. You are going to wear these everyday. Burn all those white sarees of yours. Look let me see. Why cant you take this light yellow with green border and this pale blue with rose embroidery looks good"

" Someone told he doesn't have selection " told Suman and they both laughed.

By the time Vindhya and Sudhir came inside Sreedhar had made Suman choose 20 sarees. Vindhya had some 6-7 sarees in her hand and she gasped seeing the pile

" Sudhir learn something from your brother. Look at the number of sarees Suman has got "

" Sreedhar you have decided that me and your Vindhya Bhabi will start the 3^rd world war which will be for sarees.Vindhya her's is cotton sarees and you have take zari border sarees. The net cost will be same"

" Bhaiyya it has taken me lot of time to convince Suman to take these sarees. Now you come and talk about 3^rd world war"

" Sreedhar I was joking. Is it done. It is getting dark. We need to go "

" Yes Bhaiyya it is done. Suman you go with Vindhya Bhabi. Me and Bhaiyya will come packing these things"

Sreedhar and Sudhir sat together to check the stock and enter in the register while Suman and Vindhya walked towards the waiting car.