Let's try this again. Lately I have been trying to come up with the right words to say all this, but I am lost. How do I start?
The possibility of imprinting these memories and feelings to paper, baffles me. Weeks of staring in to a blank piece of paper, I realized words will never come- the perfect words. There's no such thing as ''perfect words'' because we aren't created to be satisfied with our own work. So here I am, babbling down these feelings to you. I think I want to start from the beginning like all stories do.
Rewind back to the first day of grade six. I remember sitting in class feeling angry as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary was happening. All the hooligans were making a ruckus, whilst I rolled my eyes in annoyance. The daily routine of putting up with them was starting to get on my nerves. At the side of the my desk, Meli was seated, poking me and trying to gain my attention, but my mind was elsewhere.
And then I remember Varun standing up in the middle of the class room, pointing towards the entrance like an idiot. He screamed, 'THERE HE IS.' Every one turned- myself included and then I stopped breathing. Cheesy, huh? Oh it's just beginning.
The first glance was all it took. You know how in movies they have a cheesy light on someone special? Kind of like a ray of sunshine entering the premises. I don't know how to explain that shenanigans', but this is the only way to explain that moment.
You just stood there awkwardly in our school uniform with that adorable, trademark spiky hair. There was such an incredible cleanness to you. I don't think anyone in school dressed the way you did. And don't get me started on the scent... Oh dear god, the scent you wore, filled the entire school. I swear I always found you through that particular cologne of yours.
Creepy, I know.
The second you stepped forth in to our classroom my entire world titled. I was thrown in to a whirl pool of emotions. Before I knew it, my entire world depended on your image, your scent, your speech- all of you.
Every time the tears spilled at home, I'd think of the morning- the morning where I would go to school and see your face. That was enough for me to keep moving. Regardless of what I had to endure, I kept your image close in my head to dream of a painless universe.
My anger radiated to the world, yet to you, the fire dimmed. Do you remember the times we'd sit and talk for hours. Back then you were so oblivious to what was happening. You didn't even have a clue, that the girl, who was always angry, was so in love.
Years later the era had to come to an end. I was speechless with tears to never see you again. I still remember, how you held my hand and said a gentle good bye. You still didn't know. We separated, and I already made up my mind: this was the end.
What a stupid girl I was back then. I guess I needed more time to learn that nothing was planned. A decade later we met again.
I was stunned to see how much you've changed. The spiky haired, thin boy was now a man. So much was changed, yet those kind eyes never did. The vortex sucked me in again, and I was terrified. Although this time something was different. You didn't let me walk away. The illusion of oblivion was ripped in to shreds.
You told me- and I quote, ''I didn't think you'd love me back then.'' I laughed through my tears.
Six years later of dating, and another 3 years of marriage, here we are. Back then all I kept thinking was 'if only we were in an alternate universe' But now I realize, I don't need to think that anymore, because you created my alternate universe into reality.
Happy Anniversary, Arnav.
Love,
Khushi
***
Finally I wrote something in the midst of this word drought.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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