Main Tenu Samjhawan

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I was listening to the recreated version of this song from Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania and I had another dreamy epiphany. The song is so very beautifully sung by Arijit Singh (one of my favorites) and Shreya Ghoshal that I listened to it on loop until I lost count. And until the meaning that resonated within it seeped into my boulder of a brain. What I thought is recounted below. There are no PMs (also no special mentions, sorry) for this one because I deeply desire to see the fateful path that a piece of writing takes when left in the ocean all by itself. My apologies for that in advance.

Main tenu samjhawan ki

Na tere bina lagda jee

Tu ki jaane pyaar mera

Main karoon intezar tera

Tu dil tui-yon jaan meri

Tu kar aitbaar mera

Main karoon intezar tera

Tu dil tui-yon jaan meri

Main tenu samjhawan kee

Na tere bina lagda jee

Tenu chadd ke kitthe jawan

Tu mera parchhanvaa

Tere mukhde vich hi main taan

Rab nu apne pawaan

Meri duaa.. haaye

Sajda tera kardi sadaa

Tu sun iqraar mera

Main karoon intezar tera

Tu dil tui-yon jaan meri

She wants to speak to him, but he is watching a movie.

Nonetheless, she still dials his number, but gets the busy tone.

She feels it in her heart for him, all the love she can muster within herself. But does he want what she wants?

She says to herself, "I love him truly and so I shall wait till he is ready." She doesn't sleep a wink when the moon rises that night, but what else can she do other than tossing and turning in her bed? She is afraid to tell him how much he means to her, lest he run away. He is the protagonist in each of her acclaimed novels, in the pictures that adorn the walls of her house, in the paintings she carefully hides under her bed, in her friends' minds as the mystery man and most importantly, in all of her.

She doesn't know what he feels and yet she has made him hers in between the shadows and their souls. Yes, the shadows have souls because they comfort her while nothing else can. Does a comforting entity not have a soul?

She strangely has more penchant for the darkness than for the light. She attributes it to the way her mind and the shadows are in perfect reverse-synchronization. When her being is troubled, the shadows seem aglow, allowing her to feed off their luminescence. When her conscience is ecstatic, the shadows take it in and calm her mind. But that night, the shadows are muddled and so is her mind.

She does believe that they will be together beyond an eternity but she doesn't know when that eternity will begin.

"But to love means to wait. To wait till your soulmate gives you their all and you give back to them all of you. These movies & busy tones will not last forever. Believe in what you feel. Believe in him and his mischievous guilelessness. Believe in the strength that your love holds. Believe. Hope," she tells herself.

She waits out that tempest of a night. She rises out of bed the next morning to find herself still engulfed in dire darkness. Then onwards, each night and each day are the same till she doesn't know the number of days she has spent waiting in darkness.

Then one fine morning, she wakes up to be bathed in the light of his love. She had hoped for far lesser but she receives her reward in kind. He is her reward. She gave him the time he needed and he is here. Only for her, only for her.

Always,

Arushi