Once the floodgates of memories had opened, Arnav could not stop them. Every small memory from those glorious 8 months with her came flooding back-----just that at that time he had not known how cherished those memories were going to become.
Why hadn't he seen through Khushi's inner beauty then? Why hadn't he seen that no one could love him so unconditionally, except his mother and she had been dead and buried when he was all of 14. With her, the only person who truly loved him and had a control over him had disappeared.
His father had been fine enough to move on and have numerous affairs and finally marry a woman 15 years younger to him.
Arnav's heart had died with his beautiful mother. And the spate of women in his father's life had not helped change his image of love and women, because the two things did not co-relate for him, not after his sweet mother.
He had gone on to live his loveless life in the lap of luxury. He could have anything he wanted-clothes, gadgets, holidays, because money bought him everything, except the love his heart longed for, but his mind did not believe in.
His money and looks gained him enough attention and appreciation from the opposite sex. He had been fine to play along, as long as they knew the rules---No emotional entanglements.
He was the proverbial poor little rich boy, lonely in the heart, but strong to the world. He had put on the mask of the 'wild' ASR quite early and was happy living his image because the image ensured he never got emotionally entangled.
He had no one to guide him. No one to tell him what was the right thing to do. So, he was a law unto himself. He was never guided about the right things to do or recognize people for what they are.
Perhaps that is why he had failed to see what a beautiful and selfless person Khushi was during the eight months.Fool! Arrogant, conceited fool, he chided himself as his thoughts once again moved to that little incidents with Khushi----
He remembered that day. It was raining cats and dogs. He, La and Khushi had been caught in a caf that was just 2 streets away from the dorm.
They were not able to find an auto to get back to the hostel.
He had been having a bad case of cough and cold. Between them they had only one umbrella, which belonged to the prosaic Khushi who had been smart enough to carry it with her, after looking at the cloudy skies. They had laughed at her for bringing the unfashionable umbrella. But she had been cool. 'You will realize its worth when it pours.'
And she was right. The rain showed no signs of letting up and their dorm 'out' time was fast approaching an end. Khushi had happily lent the umbrella to Arnav and La, even as they protested 'It's ok. I rarely fall ill. La is the one who is prone to catch a cold and Arnav, you already have one. You both take this and go, I will follow.'
Arnav had point blank refused to listen to her. But she had threatened not to speak to him if he refused. So, he had been left with no choice but reluctantly go along with her idea, though he had continuously turned around to make sure she followed. He had stopped in between to include her, but she had refused saying the umbrella was too small for three people.
They had made in time to avoid trouble with the dorm wardens. But the very next day Khushi had fallen ill and had been confined to bed for a week. He had been mad with worry and restless in the class when he had heard she was sick. He could not understand the deep concern or the restlessness. But his heart had urged him to take care of her and he could not understand these emotions for her, who was just a friend, though one of his best ones.
Later, when he had apologized for causing her illness, she had waved away the apology 'It's ok. I am glad it is not you or La who fell sick.'
Arnav felt a tear drop prick his eyes at this memory. She never thought twice before putting other people's happiness before hers. That's how she was with him and La and everyone she met. Why had he not understood that the powerful emotions she had evoked in him when she fell sick, was the beginning of a strong undying love, which he could never dream of achieving with any other woman, despite so many he had dated----
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Khushi hugged a pillow to her chest as she continued to sob. She had fought with the memories for so long. Brutally crushed them, each time they sprouted. But today, the tidal wave of memories could not be stemmed. Things she had buried in her heart surfaced, one by one----
She remembered the day she had fallen sick after getting wet in the rain. The only umbrella she carried, she had lent to La and Arnav and she had been drenched completely and chilled to the bone.
She had woken up with high fever the next day. La had informed the superintendent of the dorm and left for classes. The superintendent had given her some medicines and sent up some food. But Khushi had been tired and sick to eat or even get a glass of water.
It must have been around 12.30 in the afternoon, when she had been staring at the jug of water across the room on the table by the window, wishing it would sprout legs and walk up to her, when she saw Arnav jump down the window.
Shocked she had just gaped at him.
'Close your mouth Miss Gupta or you are likely to swallow some more germs which will make you more ill,' he had winked at her.
'What are you doing here? If Ma'm catches you, then you may be suspended from college and don't tell me you climbed the pipe to get here' she said aghast at seeing him stand there calmly, grinning at her.
'It was fun to do it Khushi. Don't worry about it. And if I am suspended, it will be a blessing,' he smiled.
'But why are you here?' she had asked.
'Because you are sick and alone and there is no one for you and I know you are a pathetic eater and will skip your meals. You need to eat to get well soon,' he said as he looked around for food and water.
He sat across her on the bed and fed her spoonfuls of the rice and dal left for her by the maid, while she watched him silently, tears filling her eyes in love and gratitude.
'Don't look at me as if I am some saint Khushi. I just found it boring in class to not bug you. I want you to get well soon to do my assignments,' he had grinned at her wickedly.
She had been annoyed at that and he had laughed even louder, 'And yeah, I also need someone to lose in tennis with me, to bloat up my ego' he had said.
Despite herself she had smiled and he had flicked her nose with his index finger and said 'On a serious note, I need someone to protect me from the professors,' he had said, guffawing with laughter again as she had punched him on the chest-----
Khushi smiled at the memory, which even today warmed her heart. He had come every day, till she got well and she had been terrified he would be caught.
He had made sure she ate her meals, had her medicines and got better. When he could not be present physically, such as the nights and mornings, he had called her to ensure she was having her medicines.
And when she had come back to the class after a week, he had simply hugged her in delight.
That was the thing which had drawn her to Arnav, not just his arresting good looks. She would have gotten over his looks, if it had not been for this side to him. He was unbearably gentle and caring behind that wild, arrogant exterior---a rare side she had been lucky enough to see very often for 8 months.
Khushi came back to the present and realized that time had not eroded the sweetness of those memories or the warmth that spread in her heart thinking of those times with him.
'Why did it all go so horribly wrong Arnav?' she whispered into the darkness of the night.
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'Wish I knew why we ended up hurting each other so much Khushi' Arnav whispered into the dark lonely night. He poured himself a drink to drown the memories that were stinging his heart. This was a ritual he followed whenever he thought of Khushi. But today he could not drown the memories in a glass of whisky----He was going to give in to those memories. May be he would find a clue to piece things together and solve the puzzle of Khushi's disappearance from the world for such a long time----He had to know why she had shut him out so completely from her life
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