"….. I did it for you, Taani. For us." He concluded.
I.. I couldn't believe it. He was pretending all this while? Pretending to hate me? Just because he wanted to see me as an individual. Just because he didn't want me to be dependent upon him. Just because he wanted me to discover my own individuality? So, he was actually pretending? I still couldn't believe it. I stood there in the RH trying to take in the truth I had just came across. I looked at the ground, lost in my own thoughts. I knew he was looking at me, trying to find answers in my eyes, trying to see if he would ever get me back.. But how would he get the answers? I myself was so confused. I.. I.. I was shocked! I was surprised. I was even a bit happy. I felt all the emotions rush in through me. I started stepping back. And then ran out of the RH. I could hear him calling for me but I didn't bother to look back. I was still in shock. All of this was a mere act?
I sat on my bed as I started thinking calmly. He did this for me? For my betterment? For my future? Just for me? He hurt himself again and again, for me? Oh, Rey! Do you really love me so much? You went through all the pain only for me. But what was the need, Rey? You could have talked to me. We would have talked out the matter, Rey. Instead of going to the third person, you could have come to me, Rey. You should have at least tried. I would have understood. But you didn't even try to talk to me. Were you ashamed of me? Or.. Or was I not just capable of being Rey Singhania's girlfriend?
I don't know how to react to the situation. I am completely confused. Was he right? Or was he wrong then? Was I right? Ugh! I hate these situations. I just hate them. Finally when I felt that my life was getting back on track.. This happened! Krishna Ji really never let me be in peace. Always putting me into troubles and these kind of situations. I decided to go to bed. Maybe thinking with a fresh mid tomorrow would help.
I lay down on the bed and clutched my purple pillow close to my heart. I tried and tried but couldn't sleep. I just kept remembering the good old times. Times spent with Rey. All those memorable moments. Our first meet, the food fight, Rey confessing his love, our first date, the Goa trip, the dinner date.. And then the day I heard Rey and Sharon talk, the day we broke up. And before I knew, tears started rolling down my cheeks. Oh damn! I was crying again. I didn't want to cry. I had, you know, prepared myself in such a way that no one could hurt me. I had put this invisible protective shield around me which would protect me from all the sadness. I had made it a point that I won't cry for someone. I had.. I had actually become strong. But the truth. It came like a tsunami, shattering that protective shield of mine into pieces. And I was back to crying now. No Taani. You can't cry. You won't. You need to make a decision now. It's time.
The next day, I went down the stairs towards the dining area. I saw bhai already there having breakfast. I sat beside him and got lost in my world of thoughts. I took the bread on the plate which was in front of me. I didn't eat it. I just held it in my hand and kept on thinking. Suddenly, I felt someone hold me by my shoulders. I turned around to look at bhai. He had this worried expression on his face.
"Tum thik ho na, Taani? Kahan kho gayi thi?"
"Um.. Kuch nahi bhai. Who bas.. Dramatics mein humein naya assignment mila hai. Usi ke bare mein soch rahi thi."
"Sure?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
Should I tell him? Maybe I should. Yeah! He will be able to help me out. After all, bhai knew the best. But will it be right? It would be the same as Rey did, won't it? I mean involving a third person in our personal matters. I know bhai isn't exactly a third person. But… No! I won't tell him. I had to take my own decisions. Yeah! I won't tell him.
"Haan, bhai! Pakka! Ab main college ke liye nikalti hun. Aaj practice hai." I fake smiled and went out.
I entered the college, making sure that I won't talk to Rey until I have made the decision. It may take days.. But I won't talk about it with him until I have taken my decision. Yeah! This would be the best thing to do.
I walked towards the Audi, where the whole dramatics team was waiting for me. We had got this huge opportunity to show case our talent finally. St. Louis always gave priority to dance. Well, that was good but not fair to other students who were interested in something else. Who had a lot of talent but not in dance. We finally could make the authorities see the talent the other students had. Dance isn't the only thing, is it?
I entered the Audi and saw the whole Dramatics group there, rehearsing. I smiled to myself.
"Hey, guys!" I greeted as I reached upto them.
"Oh thank god, Taani, you are here. Help me out with this dialogue na, please." Chhaya said and pulled me towards her. I started helping her out and the rest of the gang continued to rehearse. Time passed and after about an hour, we decided to resume the practice in the afternoon.
I walked out of the Audi along with Chhaya and Rohan when I saw Rey standing outside, probably waiting for me. I turned my gaze from him and started talking with Chhaya. I prayed silently that Rey shouldn't come and talk with me. But just the opposite happened. Rey called out to me from behind. I stopped for a while but then continued walking. He called out again but I continued walking. Chhaya and Rohan stopped in their tracks. They looked at me and then at Rey.
"He is calling out to you, Taani." Chhaya said.
I looked back at him and then said, "Yeah! I'll talk to him later. Let's go now. Otherwise we'll be late for the class." And I started walking again.
"Taani, I think you should listen to him once. He has been calling for you since a long time." Rohan said as we walked.
"Yeah. And anyways, there is a lot of time for the class to start. We'll be waiting for you there." Chhaya said as both of them went away.
I stood there, looking at him. He came towards me and spoke, "Taani. Look, I am really.."
"Please don't say sorry again and again, Rey. You don't need to."
He sighed and continued, "Okay. But, Taani. Please forgive me. I know I have hurt you. But please try and understand, Taani."
I looked at him, closed my eyes and then sighed, "Rey. Please let me be, right now. Everything is already messed up, I don't want to complicate things more. Please, let me be." I said and started walking.
"Taani. Taani, at least listen to me." He too started walking beside me, "Please Taani. Please."
I tried avoiding him but he always came behind. How could I stop him? Ugh. He never understood. "Not now, Rey." I almost shouted at him. Everyone in the atrium started staring at us. "Not now, please." I said again in a low yet stern voice and walked off to my class. Thankfully, he didn't come to me again. Krishna Ji. Please help me out!
Days passed. I didn't meet him or talk to him these days. I was busy and just too confused. Yeah, still! I still couldn't see what was right and what was wrong. Getting into a relationship with him, again.. I HAD to think a lot about it. I had already hurt myself a lot because of him. I don't want to get hurt again. But, if I think again, he did all the pretending just for me. For my good. He hurt himself for me. I know he loved me.. But I wasn't sure how much I still loved him. No. I didn't hate him or anything. It's just that, the whole drama had really hurt me bad. It had changed me. From inside and from outside. I had lost faith in him. I just couldn't trust him the way I did. What if he did something like this again? I couldn't afford to get hurt yet again. I just couldn't let him do that again. But I know, a part of me does want to get back to him. I do want to be with him. Maybe.. Maybe I should give him a chance. Maybe I should get back together.
"Meet me in the Fire Escape. In 10 minutes." I texted him. I had made my decision. And I will do what I have thought.
I heard my phone beep. "Will be there in 2 minutes, Taani." He had replied. I heard the door of the Fire Escape open as I kept my phone in my bag. I looked back and saw him standing there. I stood up as he closed the door.
I sighed mentally. "I will do it." I thought.
"Taani.." he started to say but I cut him off.
"You know I don't trust you the way I used to, right?" I asked.
He looked down and nodded. I could see disappointment and hurt on his face. "And you know that I still lo.. Like you. Don't you?" I asked again.
"You love me, Taani." He said as he looked into my eyes.
I shut my eyes tight and said, "I don't know." I paused for a moment and then continued, "But I know that I don't hate you, Rey. And.. This is why I have decided that.." I paused yet again, "That I will give this relation another chance." I said in a breath.
I looked at him. I saw genuine happiness on his face after a really long time. I too smiled mentally. He came forward and hugged me tight. "Thank you so much, Taani. Thank you." He said as he hugged me. I lifted my hand to hug him back but stopped in between. I put my hands on his shoulders and broke the hug. I went a step back and said, "But I don't want anyone to know about it until I am sure about it. Please." I extended my hand, "Promise?"
He looked at me, smiled and kept his hand on mine, "Promise."
I took my hand back and said, "Okay then. See you later." I said and finally smiled.
"Yeah. Bye." He said and I rushed out of the Fire Escape.
I felt the world stop. I was finally feeling complete after such a long time. I felt like dancing in happiness. I felt like screaming on top of my voice and telling everyone about it. But.. I had to remember that I wasn't sure about it. But, somewhere, deep inside me, I knew that this was right. Getting back together, was definitely the correct decision!
~ * ~
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Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
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