Chapter 23
Leveraging himself away from Prats, Sid stared at her for a minute. Sitting back against the side of the camper, he ran his hand through his hair, visibly upset, not looking at her. Prats quickly scrambled to her knees next to him, placing her hands gently on her shoulder, "Sid, you know I can never marry anyone; it would be like binding myself down once again." Sid mumbled, "It doesn't have to be that way this time, Prats." Taking one of his resisting hands in hers, she gently kissed the palm, holding it against the side of her face. Nuzzling against it, she whispered, "Long ago, Sid, long, long ago, I made a vow to myself... I would never be in the situation I found myself after my previous marriage broke up. Leaving aside the sheer pain of knowing that the one I loved didn't love me, I can't bear the thought of being so dependent on someone that their absence threatens my very existence."
"While the divorce proceedings were on, I realized how alone I was. Maasa and Bapusa and all the others loved me, but Jagan was their son. It would have taken just one moment of extreme emotion for them to turn me out into the night, siding with their only son... As my insecurities gnawed at me, my adopted family did its best to prop me up. I will always love them and be thankful to them for that, but I decided at that time that I would be independent henceforth. My own house, my own car, my own lifestyle, and, most importantly, my own money. I have lived with that ideology for too long, Sid. And somehow, I now enjoy it so much that I don't want to change it..."
Unable to help himself, Sid's fingers gently caressed the downy softness of her cheek. "Aww sweetheart, I know, I know... but I promise I won't take your independence away from you. You can continue doing all that you are doing now. All I am asking for is that you share your life with me." Prats smiled ruefully, "You are saying that now, Sid. But what about when you are staying in Jaipur for work and I need to be here, in Jaitsar, for mine? We will only clash, and the lust will vanish out the window." "Lust, Piyu? Is it only lust that you feel? I had started feeling that you loved me back..." As Prats sat mute, he drew his hand away, "Well, maybe I now know what you felt when you spoke of the sheer pain you felt when Jagan didn't return your love..."
As Sid slowly left the camper, Prats raced to the window to watch him wend his way down the forest paths. Opening the door so Sultan could keep him company, she locked up and sat with her head in her hands, "I knew this would happen. Love only leads to pain."
As the shroud of evening slowly blanketed the clearing, her anxiety grew; it was the forest out there after all. Why had she let him go? Even with Sultan along, a hundred horrid things could happen to him. Pacing inside the camper, she wished away all the varied mishaps that could have afflicted them, cursing him and herself to glory, praying that he was safe.
As the first owl hooted in the unending pitch-black depths outside the camper, she broke down in tears. Drat these men! Why couldn't they look after themselves? "I swear I will kill him, if he is still alive..." Her ears perked up at the distant sound of a familiar bark. Rushing to open the door, she saw a frolicking Sultan in the distance, prancing around a singing Sid. Singing? Yeah, extremely badly, but singing nevertheless... And what was that he was singing??! "Mujhe maaf karna, Om Sai Ram?!" <Forgive me, Oh Lord>. "Grrr... I'm so going to kill the guy!"
As Sid lurched his way up the stairs, Prats couldn't hold back any longer, "SID! What is wrong with you? I was so worried... you've been away hours! And what's this? Are you drunk?? I can't believe this!!" As she stalked off, Sid roared with laughter, "C'mon baby, what's a drink among a few friends? I was walking aimlessly when I chanced upon this truckers dhaba, where they were serving tharra <locally brewed alcohol>! When they invited me to join them, well... mauka bhi tha, aur dastoor bhi <I had the chance and the inclination>. Must tell you that alcohol works wonders! I feel on top of the world now!! By the way, babes, I got back a couple of bottles of beer with me. I need some topping up for the night! Want some?"
As Sid uncorked the bottle, Prats staked up to him, "I don't drink, Sid!" "Why don't you, Piyu? Is it something only men do?" he winked at her. Almost snarling, Piyu pulled the bottle away from him, "There is nothing that men do that women can't do better." Roaring with laughter, Sid sprawled on the sofa bed, watching as she took a hefty slug from the bottle. As she spewed out half on a burst of coughing, Sid sat up to thump her roundly on the back and take the bottle from her. "Wait Sid! This actually tastes good."
As the night grew longer, the two friends lolled on the bed, sharing the bottles, arguing and giggling over the silliest things. When Prats got up to do a little jig for him, she stumbled and almost fell flat on her face, only to be pulled up in time by a pair of strong hands. As he pulled her up onto his lap, their laughter stilled. Eyes locking in empathy for each other, she ran a soft hand up his arm to his face, "Oh, Sid, Sid, I so don't want to hurt you or be hurt myself..."
Moving her tousled hair off her face with a tender hand, he whispered back, "I know, darling girl. Let's just see where this goes. No commitments asked, and no commitments made." Lowering his head slowly, watching to see if she had any objections, he placed his lips gently over hers, deepening the kiss only when her small hands intertwined around his neck, holding him ever closer. The night was theirs again.
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